About John James

John James is an Internet Entrepreneur living in Sacramento, California. When he's not doing Internet Marketing, he enjoys blogging, sports, and healthy vegan lifestyle. Find out more about him on the About us page.

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John James

John James is an Internet Entrepreneur living in Sacramento, California. When he's not doing Internet Marketing, he enjoys blogging, sports, and healthy vegan lifestyle. Find out more about him on the About us page.

Top 7 Best Blowjob Machines In 2021 – Reviews & Best Prices Online (See The List Below)

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Getting a blowjob is the shit. Is there anyone who has the balls to disagree with us? It’s the whole “finding someone to deep throat you and do that little thing with their tongue” that makes it complicated.

Sure, partners are great, but they always want to cuddle afterwards. Hookers can be cheap, but they seldom take no for an answer. And jerking yourself off gets the job done, but where’s the fun in that?

Having access to an automatic blowjob machine is the tits, and thanks to modern science, there is little that the most popular models can’t do. Hyper-realistic and majorly mind-blowing, our top picks are the cream of the crop in our horny yet humble opinions.

We don’t take this shit lightly either. Telling us there’s a machine that will suck our dicks while we casually eat bar peanuts is a dream come true. We’re not going to let these bastards play with our emotions.

Here Are Our Top 7 Best Blowjob Machines In 2021:

We’ve put our courageous cocks through the ringer on your behalf. And as soon as we get done icing our empty yet satisfied balls, we will flood you with an onslaught of complaints about that.

In the meantime, have a gander at our top seven fuckable favorites:

#1 Autoblow Artificial Intelligence Blowjob Simulator

Too many people talked smack about the original Autoblow, so the makers went back to the drawing board and came up with the world’s very first blowjob machine equipped with artificial intelligence, endurance training settings, and a patent-pending penis gripper to increase the realism of each experience.

The Autoblow A.I. is an extremely high-tech yet surprisingly user-friendly masturbator for men, with a textured silicone sleeve (that’s interchangeable by the way) and 10 different pleasure settings to explore – one of which will continually change its technique until you get off or shut off.

It runs like a racehorse, is 50% quieter than the original, and can pinpoint 250 distinct pleasure zones along the shaft of the penis without ever losing an ounce of power (because it gets plugged directly into the wall via an AC/DC adapter, which means it doesn’t need batteries or a recharger).

Origins of Our Loyalty

  • Quieter than the original
  • Lightweight and durable design
  • Intuitive functionality for optimal customization
  • Ergonomic, built-in controls
  • Interchangeable sleeves with varied textures (sold separately)
  • Ideal for stamina training
  • Easy to clean and maintain
  • Made from non-porous, skin-safe materials
  • Accommodates all penis sizes (with enough lube)
  • Non-stop masturbation possible
  • Decent price point

 

 

#2 The Kiiroo Keon Blowjob Machine

There is little that the Kiiroo Keon can’t do in terms of cranking out the very last drop of baby batter left in your nut sacks. The only reason it’s at number two on our list is because it’s big, it’s the most expensive automatic blowjob machine on the market.

Albeit an investment in cash and space, this titanic of a toy is totally worth the price.

It can synchronize with Bluetooth via smart device to provide long-distance real-time play for couples, gyrate alongside pre-recorded porn content from a massive library, pleasure your private parts using an array of self-driven speed and vibe features, and pretty much do everything your partner can do besides wash the dishes or complain about your stamina.

Origins of Our Loyalty

  • Stealthy operation
  • Rocket-like motor speed and power
  • Compatible with all Kiiroo models.
  • Compatible with Oculus Rift, Google Glass, and most other VR headsets
  • Great for solo artists and couples
  • Long distance relationship support
  • Fantasy fulfilment
  • Impressive durability and life span
  • Decent price point
  • Wireless when not charging
  • Hot and high-tech looking
  • Can accommodate various penis sizes depending on the masturbator insert

10% DISCOUNT WILL BE APPLIED AUTOMATICALLY DURING CHECKOUT!

 

 

 

#3 Kiiroo Onyx Plus

The Onyx Plus by Kiiroo is a magnificent machine for its intended purposes, with complete Bluetooth smart device compatibility and plenty of online porn content for your VR viewing pleasure.

Made primarily of medical-grade silicone and high-density polymer, this automatic blowjob contraption runs at top speeds of 140 strokes per minute and can be used alone or with VR glasses.

The magic show stars a powerful motor which runs 10 contracting inner rings that glide smoothly up and down the shaft in tandem with the real-time movements of the people or content involved. Neato mosquito!

The Origins of Our Loyalty

  • Quiet operation
  • Powerful motor
  • Self-sustainable
  • Incredible versatility
  • Affordable price point
  • Can accommodate small and average-sized penises
  • Incredibly real feeling
  • Great for solo artists and couples
  • Long distance relationship support
  • Extended motor/battery life
  • Wireless when not charging
  • Somewhat sexy looking

10% DISCOUNT WILL BE APPLIED AUTOMATICALLY DURING CHECKOUT!

 

 

 

#4 Fleshlight Quickshot Launch Blowjob Machine

The Quickshot Launch is a sexy little number that combines all the fuckworthy features of the insanely popular Quickshot male masturbator with the high-tech components of the best-selling Fleshlight Launch – an automatic blowjob device of epic proportions, with an adjustable speed of up to 250 strokes per minute.

As the first of its kind, this bad boy is a powerful yet compact machine with an open-ended design to make cleanup and maintenance a snap.

Hailed as one of the world’s most luxurious cock teasers, the original Launch device was only compatible with the brand’s full-sized masturbators. But along came the QL, and now we can enjoy the same hands-free fun with our favorite clear, compact and conveniently designed masturbator sleeve.

Origins of Our Loyalty:

  • Transparent sleeve and cradle
  • Variable speed and stroke lengths
  • Three pleasure zones
  • Rechargeable via USB
  • 60-minute run time
  • Wireless control with Fleshlight Active Launch Mode
  • Universal smart phone mount
  • Accommodates most penis sizes
  • Made from patented skin-safe material
  • Ergonomic design for easy control

*NOTE: The Quickshot male masturbator sleeve is sold separately.

 

 

#5 AutoBlow 2 Blowjob Simulator

Although the AutoBlow 2 is our number 3 pick, it still has a few leading qualities about it.  And while it’s somewhat cumbersome in size and shape and can’t accommodate larger penises, this automatic head giver gives an outstanding performance.

With an appearance that is reminiscent of the famous Fleshlight, the AutoBlow2 is a new and improved version of its original design – a sex toy that took the industry by storm.

Featuring a massive motor with at least 1,000 guaranteed hours of power and with enough juice to go completely hands-free, this marvelous machine comes with three different sleeves (each with a slightly different tightness) and uses the tried-and-true pleasure rings phenomenon that keeps us “cumming” back for more, even if it’s not as high-tech as its cousins.

Origins of Our Loyalty

  • Plugs into the wall, so no need for charging
  • Tolerable noise level
  • Discrete shape
  • Realistic texture sensations
  • Good speed differential
  • Can accommodate all penis sizes, depending on sleeve used
  • Extremely powerful motor
  • Dependable
  • Surprisingly durable
  • Exceptional price point

 

 

#6 Lovense Max 2

This automatic blowjob beast pushed all our buttons in all the right ways, despite the fact that it’s not as fancy as the other toys on our list. The Lovense Max 2 is touch-sensitive, meaning it’s super easy to use and great for couple’s play.

It features these tiny little air vents which control suction with a swipe, and it has a fully rechargeable battery that’s compatible with Bluetooth – making it perfect for real-time fun on the run.

This wireless toy is ideal for long-distance romance and is compact enough to stow on the go. With remote, app, or on-device touch controls, this high-tech pleasure pioneer is relatively affordable and requires no assembly or add-ons to get started.

Origins of Our Loyalty

    • Wireless when not charging
    • Can accommodate small to average-sized penises
    • Compact and convenient for travel
  • Decent speed options
  • Ergonomic and attractive shape
  • Nearly silent
  • Commanding motor strength and longevity
  • Affordable price point
  • Hyper-realistic material
  • Compatible with Bluetooth and other Lovense Max toys
  • Durable
  • Impressive battery life

 

 

 

#7 SayberX

If cute and compact convenience is what matters most to you, then the Sayber X might be what you’re looking for. This super sleek and sexy automatic blowjob beast features an insanely cushiony texture with a hyper-realistic feel (SayberSkin), stretched over a 7-inch/2-inch chamber that sends the sensations of 5 different speed functions up and the down the main vein.

The Sayber X works a lot like the Kiiroo Onyx and the AutoBlow in that it utilizes pleasure rings to simulate oral sex. However, the Sayber X can use motion-activated rings (at an extra cost), and the original price tag is surprisingly affordable to begin with.

Origins of Our Loyalty

  • Ergonomic German engineering and design
  • Compatible with most smart devices via the SayberX app
  • Reasonable operating volume
  • Smooth and realistic movements
  • Affordable price point
  • Masculine looking
  • Compact and travel-worthy
  • Durable and dependable
  • Can accommodate small and average-sized penises
  • Wireless when not charging
  • Comes with storage

 

 

Ridiculously high standards are what we are best known for. So, despite the following toys’ obviously purposeful popularity, we still managed to find a way to complain. It’s not every day we get to have such a good time being ungrateful assholes, so leave it alone. Our top penis-juicing picks are based on the following cock-worthy criteria:

  • Price – How affordable is this shit for men with real-life bank accounts?
  • Textures – What sort of sleeve surfaces and consistencies are available for this motherfucker?
  • Features – What happens if we push this button?
  • Compatibility – Does this bitch work with my other toys or, better yet, with my Bluetooth?
  • Accessories – If I want to get some customized brain with this son of a bitch, is that possible?
  • Sensations – How life-like feeling is this bastard, really?
  • Upkeep – Is it going to be a pain in the ass to clean up after myself?
  • Durability – How many times can I abuse this thing before it falls apart on me?
  • Discretion – Am I going to have dozens of awkward conversations?
  • Appearance – Will I look like a cool kid when I’m using this beast?

After we have answered all the important questions, we then rate the sons of bitches and list them in order, for your convenience. As children, we wanted to make the world a better place. Instead, we review automatic blowjob machines and we’re proud of it. At least we know where the best orgasms are. Nana-nana, boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo.

Pleasuring Yourself With a Quality Blowjob Machine

When shopping for your next self-driven knob slobber, we suggest borrowing some of our pre-formulated questions from above. However, being as the average blowjob sex toy purchase is a very personal endeavor, we also suggest coming up with a few inquiries of your own. In other words, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Is my junk small, average, or monstrous?
  • Who will I be sharing this thing with (if anybody)?
  • How important is visual stimulation to me?
  • Do I get bored easily?
  • How much time do I honestly spend pleasuring myself with sex toys?
  • Do I have all the necessary supplies and equipment to enjoy this shit to the fullest?
  • What does my bank account have to say about all this?
  • Where in Hades will I put the damn thing?
  • Are there separate purchases required before I can bust a nut?
  • How is this better than a regular blowjob?
  • What’s the catch?

Not all automatic blowjob machines are created equally, so buyer beware. As a rule, they vary in size and function as much as they vary in price and appearance. Be sure your family jewels will sit snugly inside each chamber by checking the product specifications.

Also, remember to peruse the accessories available to see how much growing you can do with your new toy.

What’s the Catch?

In a perfect world, automatic masturbators would show up at your door fully assembled, lubed up, and ready to go. However, we live on Earth so that shit is never going to happen. Sometimes, you’ve got to fight for your right to party.

With that said, you should know that a few of the automatic blowjob machines on our list require a few things that might up the ante on the price tag. Those “things” include shit like:

  • extra parts
  • registration for online porn content
  • downloaded apps or programs
  • cell, internet, or data charges and fees
  • payment for video/chat database access
  • shipping and handling
  • taxes
  • hush money for your previous partners
  • lubrication
  • toy cleaner
  • sleeve material preservation powder
  • accessories
  • electricity
  • your dignity

There is a cost to everything. However, being able to get a mind-blowing blowjob whenever you want it without expending any extra energy seems priceless to us. As long as you get the kind of toy that’s suitable with your intended purposes, you shouldn’t have a problem.

While there are plenty of knock-offs out there, keep in mind that popular manufacturers got their notoriety for a reason.

How to Know a Good Blowjob Machine When You See It

Mama said there would be days like this, when a perverted man couldn’t get a good blowjob without swiping his credit card. Either way, buying your high-end sex toys from a no-name supplier is bad news for a million reasons.

Opting instead to trust your sensitive dicks to a reputable label is always a good idea. After all, would you let just anyone suck your delectable dick, would you? Don’t answer that.

Look, if you’re going to spend any amount of money on an investment in self-made orgasms, why not make the purchase count for something? All of the toys on our list have been pre-screened for legitimacy.

They each get delivered right to your door in unmarked boxes and are sold by trustworthy companies who use website encryption to keep their customers safe.

Furthermore, the sign of a good sex toy is a heap of positive reviews. If your time is money, save yourself some by skimming through what people are saying about the machine you’re interested in.

Keep in mind that opinions are like assholes and everybody’s got one, but there are times when those incoherent rants can come in handy, especially when you’re unsure about which toy you should spend your hard-earned money on.

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Reviews Of The Top 5 Best Fleshlights In 2021

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Buying a Fleshlight is something that over 2 million people have done at this point, so if you don’t have one yet, you’ve probably been living under a rock or jerking off into a sock.

That shit is just sad, especially considering how customizable a Fleshlight is. The days of relying on your own creativity are over, giving way to some of the most remarkable and affordable sex toys in the industry.

As a commanding force in the market, the famous Fleshlight brand has earned its lofty reputation for several good reasons.

In fact, the innovative company has gained such an incredible following that its designers have been forced to come up with some pretty crazy stuff.

However, in the rush to appease all you perverts, the plethora of sleeve texture options has become somewhat cumbersome. Navigating through the options can seem impossible, most notably for folks who aren’t yet familiar with the brand’s prowess.

Searching high and low for a well-made masturbator can be tedious to say the least; and if you don’t do it right, you could end up wasting a lot of your hard-earned money.

Fuck that noise! There are plenty of inventive fuck holes to choose from, but unless you have some sort of comprehensive buying guide, you’re shit out of luck.

And since new stuff is introduced to the market at the speed of light these days, getting ahead of the game makes more sense than blindly shopping online for the next big thing.

Top 5 Best Fleshlight Textures In 2021:

So, why is buying the perfect Fleshlight often harder than you are? Because the brand offers over 100 different sleeve textures, and nobody wants to spend money on the wrong shit.

That number includes things like the Freaks lineup and the Fleshlight Girls collection, two top contenders on the masturbatory market today.

The Freaks lineup features orifices and textures that are literally out of this world – werewolves, aliens, vampires, and cyborgs just to name a few.

The Fleshlight Girls collection is something that, until recently, was totally unheard of in the industry – sleeves that are expertly molded after the internal intricacies of some of the world’s top porn stars. Now do you understand why this shit is so hard?

There’s literally something in the Fleshlight inventory for everyone on the planet, which may explain why the brand’s popularity has reached legendary heights.

Sorting through the rousing rubble can be difficult, which is why this guide has been created. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it. Among the plethora of options out there, the following 5 are continually the hottest selling ones in their catalogue:

 

1. The Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit (STU)

This sexy bastard is designed to provide such an intense sensation that it forces you to cum, thereby training your dick to last longer over time when it’s used regularly.

The texture is incredibly dense, with a variety of unique coils and nodes, and a tightness that reminds you of your first time. Not recommended for casual use or couple’s play, the STU will make you feel like a chump if you’re not careful how you use it.

 

 

 

2. The Fleshlight Ice

Made with voyeurs in mind, the Ice is completely see-through, allowing users to enjoy the sight of their family jewels being jerked into submission.

Perfect for solo artists and dominant duos, this badass beast of burden also features a unique sleeve and tantalizing tightness that work in tandem with the visual aid it provides. Popular mostly for its innovative transparent appearance, the Ice remains a top seller despite it’s familial competition.

 

 

 

3. The Fleshlight Quickshot

As one of the most compact masturbators in the Fleshlight lineup, the Quickshot is for the open-minded pervert on the go.

Being as it’s hollow on both ends and thus requires much less cleanup and maintenance, this bitch can give a full 360-degree massage to your man parts in the quickest and most convenient way possible.

Certainly not for everybody, the Quickshot is highly recommended for men who prefer a side of efficiency with their orgasms.

 

 

 

4. The Fleshlight Turbo

This bitch is about as close as you’ll get to a mind-altering blowjob without having to pay for dinner or watch out for the cops. Voted as the most realistic and satisfying alternative to oral sex, this self-driven dick sucker is designed to please even the men who think they know it all.

With three separate points of initial insertion and a special suction capability, the Turbo is like the Wu-Tang of sex toys: It ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.

 

 

 

5. The Fleshlight Girls Collection

Although this one consists of dozens of different toys, the premise of them all is the same. Each one is fashioned after the vagina, mouth, or asshole of a popular porn star. Not only is the orifice personalized but the internal texture is as well.

Moreover, these fuck sticks are perfect for use with the brand’s affiliated VR content and other live sex sessions. What can be better than that?

 

Considerations For Choosing The Best Fleshlight Sleeve Texture On The Market

Known globally for their wide variety of male masturbators, sexy accessories, and unique toy designs, the Fleshlight company has catapulted itself to the top of the intimacy aid industry, with customers ranging greatly in age, gender, and sexual appetite.

However, do to the overwhelming demand by the world’s most depraved minds, the brand has been required to churn out more products than the average consumer can handle at once.

Generally speaking, all Fleshlights are designed with the same purpose in mind. Comprised of similar materials and featuring comparable ergonomics, the average Fleshlight fuck stick offers a revolutionary ride using a durable and discreet outer casing that resembles a standard heavy-duty flashlight.

Inside rests a customizable skin-safe sleeve that’s made from the brand’s patented SuperSkin material. Each sleeve is removable and can be easily swapped out with any of the others in their inventory. And that’s where the problems begin.

Without some of this advice, you might end up like everyone else who visits their website to buy a sex toy: sifting through numerous pages of products only to close the tab and go back to beating your meat with a tired palm.

Perusing misleading customer reviews won’t get you anywhere, mostly because every man has his own unique desires when it comes to the type of experience they’re looking for.

You know what they say: “Opinions are like assholes, and everybody’s got one.”

In fact, Fleshlight has a few assholes of their own. Each of their toys can be further customized based on the type of orifice (or opening) you choose.

The brand offers mouths, pussies, anuses, and even a few non-anatomical options for the super freaks who want to fuck with freedom. Regardless of the opening, the hole is perfectly tight and textured just right. But, if you spend too much time figuring out what you want, you’ll be left with too little time to enjoy what you buy. The buck stops here, folks.

On a More Personal Note

Now, keep in mind that each of these toys (and most of the other ones in the Fleshlight inventory) are compatible with the Launch device – a fully automated machine that allows for hands-free fucking while enjoying shit like sexy games, live chat, virtual reality experiences, and long-distance love-making.

Although the Launch is obviously sold separately, it’s definitely a must-have addition to your Fleshlight collection if you’re looking for some high-tech pleasure.

Since buying a sex toy and picking out your favorite accessories is an extremely personal purchase, I’ll try not to get too bossy here.

However, the sheer number of sleeve options available for each of the toys offered by Fleshlight can be excruciatingly complicated. While designing your ideal sex slave from scratch might seem like a lot of fun, it’s not for the faint of heart.

Remember that each toy has its own unique sleeve, but they can all be interchanged. So, start out with something amazing but keep your mind open to the possibilities.

The Top 3 Best Fleshlight Sleeve Textures of 2021:

Your basic Fleshlight model is comprised of four simple components: an outer casing, the end-cap, a protective top cap, and of course the interchangeable sleeve.

While there are several copycats that are currently flooding the market, only this brand can promise such high quality and expertly designed craftsmanship.

In fact, this coveted toy has become so popular that the word “Fleshlight” is now being thrown around as a generic term for handheld male masturbators.

You know what they say: “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” An original FL will measure a hefty 10 inches in length and will have about 3.5 inches of girth.

The sleeves will feel close to real human skin (especially when the sleeve warmer is used), and the whole s

Fleshlight Go & Fleshlight Classic

hebang will feature an ergonomic shape that’s suitable for nearly any man’s hand as well as a natural-feeling texture that promotes the organic movements of the human body in motion. But don’t take my word for it; look around on your own and compare what’s out there. Guarantee you will notice a difference immediately.

As mentioned, the famous Fleshlight brand sleeve comes in a variety of colors, shapes, sizes, and features hundreds of different textures designed to tease, tickle, or torture your dick into submission.

It’s always suggested that new users peruse the inventory to get an idea as the sheer number of options available, not to mention it’s a terrific opportunity to take a look at the shapes and textures in stock.

In the meantime, check out the top Fleshlight sleeve textures of the season:

  1. The Dirty Dozen of the Fleshlight Girls Collection

There are troves of filthy females who are just nasty enough to agree on having their most intimate parts molded by an undoubtedly horny professional artist.

These women carry the best-known names in the pornography industry, and the reasons for their popularity can be easily seen while viewing one their many videos.

With that said, some of the Fleshlight Girls have canal-inspired molds that feel much better than others. Of the top contenders, the following dirty dozen are the cream of the crotch crop:

    • Stoya
      • Stoya’s sleeves are just as penis-primed as she is, with tons of mystery and intrigue between every nook and cranny. With a somewhat relaxed opening met by an intensely tight canal which features several gentle teeth, nobs, and ridges, it’s no wonder why this sleeve is selling out faster by the day.
    • Riley Reid
      • Ms. Reid is one of the hottest of the hot – the Classic American beauty with a heart of gold. The same can be said about her amazing sleeve texture as well, which features three separate pleasure pads that each offer a unique sensation using squared-off nodules and pristine pleasure rings.
    • Brandi Love
      • Brandi’s sleeve texture is a lot like the vortex she creates in the bedroom. Twisted in all the right ways, this crazy insertable material twirls around the shaft after pleasing the penis’s corona with perfected tightness. Succumb the ridges as they swallow up every drop of jizz you produce.
    • Eva Lovia
      • This sleeve is inspired not only by the internal texture of Eva’s body but also by her unique personality. Full of surprises which include tightly twisting pleasure coils, soft yet supple tickling nodes, and straightened ridges that work together to juice your junk like the professional porn star it was designed by.
    • Alexis Texas
      • Considered to be one of the most realistic feeling textures in the Fleshlight Girls lineup, the Ms. Texas sleeve is a lot like an actual human vagina, without the need for extra ridges, coils, or nodes. Still, it’s organically smooth texture shouldn’t discourage you. The ergonomic formula God used to make her pussy and asshole a top seller is the same formula used to capture the greatness.
    • Jenna Haze
      • Imagine slamming your manhood into the softest bowl of skittles known in existence. The Jenna Haze sleeve texture is like cock candy, with the perfect number of little nobs to keep you cumming back for more unless, of course, you go into a daze over Jenna’s haze.
    • Lisa Ann
      • Known as one of the vets of porn, Lisa Ann’s still got it (and then some). Her molded sleeve texture is a lot like that of Jenna Haze, only it’s made to accommodate larger penises and features a much more relaxed opening that tightens up as you dive deeper. The nodes inside are a bit more intense as well, making this the ideal sleeve for men with desensitized dicks.
    • Kendra Sunderlan
      • Kendra’s sleeve texture is like something out of a science-fiction movie – a carnal carnival of sexy twists, turns, ridges, bumps, and nodules that work together seamlessly to provide the kind of thrill ride that made Ms. Sunderlan famous in the first place.
    • Asa Akira
      • Exotic is one of the first words that comes to mind when describing anything about Asa Akira, and that includes the shape and feel of her molded sleeve texture. There’s nothing simple about it: serpent-like and smooth in all the right places while also being able to play rough.
    • Christy Mack
      • Enjoy the wild and wonderful world of Ms. Mack’s magnificent manhole. This bad boy has all the most popular features rolled into one, with an end section that teases the tip of the penis with precision. After all, we all need to get wet and wild from time to time.
    • Misty Stone
      • They say that there’s nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, and they’re right – if they’re talking about the Misty Stone Fleshlight Girls sleeve texture, that is. Beginning with a few well-placed bumps and ending with a series of rough and tumble ridges to grind your dick to a halt, this smooth operator is quickly becoming a masturbatory mainstay.
    • Romi Rain
      • The brand hit one out of the park when they molded the pussy of Ms. Romi Rain. Her sleeve’s texture features the World Series of details, complete with a row of gentle nodes followed by a quick shot of ridges that are capped off by a puzzle-like pattern that finishes you off homerun style. Score!

Keep in mind that all the Fleshlight Girls are super sought-after stars, but that doesn’t necessarily mean their molded textures feel the best when compared to the others.

While the women who inspired the textures in this collection are beyond hot, there’s always a bit of competition. We shouldn’t want it any other way.

Moreover, some (not all) of the sleeves in this collection come in vagina, butt, or even mouth orifices, with varied textures thereof according to the one you choose. See why this choosing shit is so difficult?

  1. The Freaks Lineup

If you happen to be one of those guys who likes to spice things up or get kinky in the bedroom, the Fleshlight Freaks Lineup may be just what you need to turn your fantasy into a reality without all the unwanted consequences (like injury, death, dismemberment, or legal issues). The Freaks collection features the following freakishly delicious options:

    • The Drac – a coiled monstrosity of sexiness that is designed to resemble Dracula’s bat wing.
    • The Cyborg – an ultra-high-tech version of an organic vagina, plus the pleasure of a well-appointed twist.
    • The Frankenstein – twisted at first and then jagged to finish, this man-made marvel is as freaky as it gets.
    • The Zombie – with both a vagina and a mouth sleeve texture available, it’s possible to become once bitten but twice shy with this one.
    • The Predator – this self-explanatory sleeve features an orifice that resembles the character from the popular movie, “Predator.” Additionally, it also offers a playground of pussy power that’s designed to force the ejaculate right out of your junk – like it or not.
    • The Reaper – with a sleeve texture like this one, you’ll put all other toys to death once you feel the intense, death-defying details that lie within its catacombs.
    • The Alien – having an appearance of a quintessential alien is one thing, but if this is what fucking an extraterrestrial feels like, human women better step their game up.
    • The Bigfoot – if a sasquatch had a pussy, there would be a man who wanted to fuck it. That’s understandable, especially considering how this sleeve’s texture is like the Yellow Brick Road for dicks.
    • The Yeti – perfect for adventurous sight-seers and similar to the Bigfoot sleeve’s texture, the Yeti’s patterning is slightly less dense and features an opaque design to aid in voyeurism.

NOTE: Not all the Freaks Fleshlight sleeves come designed as more than one orifice. However, this revolutionary lineup does have all the same designs for women in the form of freakish dildos. Hubba, Hubba.

  1. The Flight Series

As one of the most popular handheld masturbator sleeve collections in the Fleshlight brand’s inventory, the Flight Series is a group of super sexy and sleek devices.

Each one comes in three different models with three distinct textures and are ideal for traveling and discretion. The series includes the following options:

    • The Aviator – slim, sexy, and clear for your viewing pleasure, this Flight Series version is chalk full of see-through texture rings that line the sleeve’s chamber which is large enough for penises of 8 inches in length.
    • The Instructor – with a non-anatomical orifice, the Instructor version is ideal for private perverts who enjoy having a ticklish shaft and a neglected corona.
    • The Pilot – aerodynamic and ergonomic, the Pilot version in the series features a sleeve texture that pushes back, creating a superb sucking sensation that’s like nothing else on the market.

The Flight Series is cool because, not only are the sleeve textures pretty impressive, but they are all compatible with the brand’s shower mount accessory (and the Launch; did I mention that?). Rather than taking a trip with a puny pocket pussy, pack one of these conveniently sized cock massagers into your carry-on and do it like a goddamn adult.

*Reminder: each of the Fleshlight units has the ability to house any of the sleeves you choose from any of the collections mentioned here.

Furthermore, all Fleshlight handheld masturbators (and their tailored sleeves) are made to work with the high-tech Launch machine that’s made from the same brand. Even better: The Launch can operate with the Kiiroo Onyx 2 and the Kiiroo Pearl 2 as well.

At this point, you have no more excuses if you’re not getting the best sex of your life.

The Top Two Runners Up

Fleshlight is a household name for numerous reasons, including their offerings of varied sex toys for both men and women. Aside from their cornucopia of industry-leading sleeves and porn star-inspired textures, this massive market force has even more to consider.

Behold, the brand’s top selling toys that don’t feature their tell-tell sleeve textures:

  1. The Fleshjack Series

Just a quick note here: the Fleshjack Series has become a huge part of the Fleshlight name.

Although the brand is most commonly known as a toy manufacturer geared towards men, the Fleshjack lineup of toys is designed specifically for women (and/or customers who are into seriously freaky anal play). Molded after the biggest male porn stars, these delectable dicks are veiny, voluptuous, and very hard . . . to pass up.

Each one has features that are similar to the standard Fleshlight and its subsequent collections – same SuperSkin material, same high-end manufacturing, same durability, same freaky inspirations.

The only thing is that these bitches use no textured sleeve, require zero casings, and won’t work properly with the Fleshlight Launch or other Bluetooth compatible toys. Looks like the wonderful world of women’s toys finally has some catching up to do.

  1. The Vibro

This gentle genital genius is another one made for the records. Featuring dual battery-powered inserts that vibrate at various speeds and in different patterns, this son of a bitch can make a live lover obsolete.

It can be used in solo mode or added to the Fleshlight party quickly and easily, not to mention seamlessly thanks to its high-tech electronic operating system. Just think of a standard Fleshlight, but add vibration to it – that’s the Vibro for ya.

This device is a hot seller because it comes in two distinct orifices – ass and pussy. There’s even a combo pack available that includes extra batteries, a small water-based lube sample, and both orifices.

Best of all, each of the orifices feature a unique texture that can only be described as magnificent. Just turn on the variable speed vibrations and let the party start (and end) with a satisfying climax.

Picking the Cherries

With so many options, how in the hell is anyone expected to know which product to buy? When your budget allows for only one item, which one will you choose?

Picking the cherries and scraping the cream from the top is easier when you quickly narrow down your search to include nothing but the toys that are right for your no-no spot.

Fortunately, most of the Fleshlight brand’s inventory is familiar and fun to use. But before you fall into the rabid rabbit hole and get too comfortable or confident, consider the following to avoid getting ripped off (or worse):

    • The Size of Your Dick
      • Not all Fleshlights are the same size.
    • The Sensitivity of Your Penis
      • Some of the devices feature more intense textures than others.
    • The State of Your Corona
      • Certain sleeves are designed to provide corona AND shaft stimulation.
    • The Visuals
      • The transparent design of some sleeves makes it possible to get a good view of the action, while some other sleeves are meant to keep shit under wraps.
    • The Time Constraints
      • The intensity of the sleeve you choose will directly affect how long it takes you to experience orgasm.
    • The Depth of Your Depravity
      • Not all Fleshlight designs are created equally, and some are damn sure not for the faint of heart.
    • The Company You Keep
      • There are plenty of couple’s play options available from this brand.
    • The Orifice You Prefer
      • Between a mouth, pussy, asshole, and non-anatomical opening, there’s enough variety to make a porn star blush. And that Freaks lineup, you already know.
    • The Money in the Bank
      • Each toy from this brand carries with it a different price tag, so pay attention to the numbers and try to make your money go further.
    • The Secrets You Keep
      • Not all products from this brand are compact, and many don’t have a carrying case or storage pouch included.

Use those considerations to help you figure out what kind of toy would do the most good. There is no one-size-fits-all toy on the market yet, but with a little research and self-consideration, it should be much easier to pin down the perfect product.

The Hard Questions for An Easy Orgasm

Once you have your requirements nailed down harder than your last lover, begin candidly asking yourself the following questions. Don’t worry; nobody is interested in your answers but you.

  1. Do I like slow, sensual sex or do I prefer something extremely intense?
    1. NOTE: The more texturized the toy’s sleeve texture is, the more likely it is that you’ll climax quickly.
  2. Do I need visuals, or will my partner or imagination suffice?
    1. NOTE: Toys will be available with a standard appearance, a transparent design, Bluetooth compatibility, or downloadable porn content for a variety of stimulating experiences.
  3. Do I have an unusual fantasy?
    1. NOTE: Some of this brand’s stuff is about as kinky as it gets, but other products in the lineup are very mainstream.
  4. Do I like to have sex or masturbate in numerous places?
    1. NOTE: Be sure to check out this brand’s accessory game so you can fuck like a duck in the bath, shower, pool, or hot tub.
  5. Am I in a relationship?
    1. NOTE: There are plenty of social options with the higher tech toys in this brand’s inventory, including long-distance relationship enhancers with live chat sessions, video strip teases, and even real-time VR porn.
  6. Do I need help keeping my dirty little secrets from peering eyes?
    1. NOTE: Not all units are compact, nor do they all have proper storage. However, each product is shipped in discrete packaging and comes from a fully encrypted website.
  7. Do I have it in the budget to afford what I need for a great experience?
    1. NOTE: Some of the products in this brand’s inventory work best when used with an accessory or similar device. Luckily, Fleshlight gives a discount when more than one sleeve is purchased in a single order.
  8. Am I opposed to being adventurous sexually?
    1. NOTE: Many of the Fleshlight toys are safe and affordable enough for experimentation.

Because there is no perfect product on the market, using these questions is one of the smartest things you can do. Later, when your eyes are rolling back in your head with pleasure over your wise purchase, see if you notice any brain growth.

It’s possible to become a better consumer by being diligent in this way.

Fleshlight Maintenance Must-Knows

The upkeep requirements on some of these bastards might be somewhat discouraging for some men (namely the lazy ones). To determine whether buying the Fleshlight you want is a deal breaker or not, keep these maintenance tips in mind:

    • Each toy and its relative sleeve needs to be cleaned thoroughly after every use.
    • The manufacturer suggests using the brand’s renewal powder to keep the integrity of the SuperSkin material intact.
    • The manufacturer also recommends using the brand’s patented toy cleaner instead of soap and water.
    • Battery operated toys should be unplugged after each use and fully charged before turning them back on to extend the life of the operating system within.
    • The toys should never be exposed to extreme hot or cold.
    • The sleeve should never encounter extremely fuzzy, porous materials or loose debris.
    • Each toy’s lining should be completely dry before using, especially if the sleeve is going into an electrically powered casing.
    • Inadequate lube can make masturbation painful.
    • All products should be hung to dry.
    • Keep your toy covered at all times to prevent unwanted dust or other potentially harmful debris from settling on the good stuff.

If you take care of your Fleshlight, then it will take care of you. So, it ultimately won’t matter how much money you spend on the toy. Proper maintenance will make your purchase pay for itself.

Making a Dick-a-Licious Difference with Your Fleshlight Toy

There are numerous ways to make your experience masturbating with the Fleshlight of your choice the best thing since sliced bread. Aside from picking the right one and taking good care of it, a few techniques have been discovered and (thankfully) shared over the years.

After all, the brand has been around for decades and offers hundreds of toy choices. There was bound to be an expert among us eventually.

Check this shit out, but be prepared to bow down to the Gods of Sex:

    • Use the sleeve warmer like you would use a good lube – absolutely and without delay.
    • Pick an intense sleeve texture if you’re dick is hard to please, you want to increase your sexual stamina, and especially if you’re uncircumcised.
    • Keep it real and go for something that’s on your skill level. You can always upgrade later once you get your mojo in check. There’s no shame in your game, so don’t add any.
    • Practice using the product’s various features prior to expecting it to give you an amazing session. It’s always awkward the first time.
    • Be sure the shower mount is very secure before attaching your Fleshlight device to it (hint: make sure your toy is fully waterproof too).
    • Squirt a big dollop of lube down into the sleeve before going in, just to avoid an unnecessarily bumpy ride.
    • Use the Fleshlight Girls Collection with the Launch device and a set of VR goggles to have the most realistic synthetic sex available in 2018.
    • Double check your network connectivity before getting started when you’re using long-distance toys or Bluetooth compatible devices.
    • Try the Fleshlight Launch with the Kiiroo Onyx 2 or Pearl 2 for a long-distance relationship booster that’s straight from the future.
    • Avoid smelly toys and embarrassing moments by keeping yourself and your toy squeaky clean at all times. Stinky dicks are tricks, not treats.
    • Try your toy in different ways: manually, hands-free, and with a partner to find out which method makes you cum the hardest.

Just like there’s nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, there’s also nothing wrong with experimenting with the limits while jerking it with a high-end sex toy.

Today’s world is fully of well-made and high-tech creature comforts, and thankfully, those innovations have bled into the sex toy industry. Luckier still, the Fleshlight brand is on the forefront of that technological trend and it’s momentum is growing faster than your dick while watching porn.

The Famous Fleshlight: Did You Know?

Partially because the Fleshlight brand offers a huge array of products that are surprisingly affordable and competitively priced, they have now become more than a kinky household name. In certain social circles, the Fleshlight toy has become a collectible.

In fact, the Freaks lineup is one of the most sought-after collectibles among this demographic. The Fleshlight Girls Collection? They’re in a league of their own, with thousands of collectors gobbling up the vaginal variety as if it were priceless art.

For a sex toy brand that was conceptualized and started by a completely square cop, the creativity of the inventory is a new testament to the unsung heroes among us.

Making money off of manual masturbation and industry standard manufacturing isn’t a bad way to retire. Since the brand is made in the United States yet ships almost anywhere in the world, its popularity is bound to continue with its upward mobility.

The Top 15 Best Pocket Pussies On The Market In 2021 – Reviews & The Best Prices Online!

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Who doesn’t enjoy using a well-made pocket pussy from time to time? If you’re one of those noobs who’s still chasing over the real thing, you’re gonna learn today.

Thanks to the sexually deviant innovations made by the most perverted scientists in the industry, we’ve got a job reviewing pocket pussies for life. And, since things just keeping better, we never plan to retire.

With that being said, there are literally thousands of pocket pussies and handheld masturbators on the market today.

However, as with everything that can be purchased with cash or credit card, some options are better than others. So, for those of you looking for the best masturbatory experience money can buy, we’ve compiled a list of the best (as we see it). Trust us, we get around.

The Top 15 Best Pocket Pussies On The Market In 2021:

Below is a list of our best pocket pussy toys, complete with the price guide and our handy-dandy rating.

These toys are not listed in any particular order because, quite frankly, we don’t have that kind of time when there are so many sexy things to review. And if we have to tell you to thoroughly clean your toy after every use, then you don’t deserve to own any of the following magically delicious pocket pussies:

 

#2. Kiiroo Keon – Best Pocket Pussy Overall

BEST FOR EITHER SOLO OR VIRTUAL REALITY INTERACTIVE HANDSFREE MASTURBATION

In the land of automatic pocket pussies and hands-free penis strokers, the Kiiroo Keon reigns supreme – at least for men who like smart devices that promise an intense orgasm. It sets a new standard for high-tech sexual stimulation, having interactive pleasure features and compatibility with just about anything in the brand’s inventory.

This small, compact, and lightweight machine also has a uniquely ergonomic construction to make it especially appealing for hands-free play and couples experimentation, with an intuitive grip for optimal control.

As the Kiiroo brand’s very first male stroking device, they spared no expense making it as realistic as possible. First up is the supple, fleshy sleeve. It’s designed to feel like the real thing while also being easy to clean and maintain.

Next is the virtual reality capabilities. The Keon can sync with collaborative 2D and 3D porn content from FeelMe.com or other partner sites, all while reaching stroke speeds of up to 230 pumps per minute and never missing a beat.

THUMBS UP

  • Multiple ways to play
  • USB rechargeable battery

THUMBS DOWN

  • Takes a while to charge

 

#2. Autoblow Artificial Intelligence

BEST FOR AUTOMATIC & HANDSFREE MASTURBATION

The Autoblow A.I. is one of the most unique automatic pocket pussies in the industry. Not only is it powered through a wall outlet for nonstop stimulation, but it also uses artificial intelligence to provide a completely unpredictable experience – just like the real thing.

It has a total of 10 distinct pleasure patterns that get controlled via the built-in interface, each with its own unique rhythm and adjustable speed. And unlike other high-tech cock sockets, this one is lightweight, portable, and discreet.

Perhaps the best feature is its soft, skin-like sleeve that comes already installed. You can choose between several different openings and sizes for a completely customized experience. And since it has an exclusive Edging function, it’s ideal for stamina training, foreplay, and sexual experimentation too.

The Autoblow A.I. was developed after countless hours of research to deliver the most realistic blowjob sensations and intercourse simulations possible. And based on the thousands of units sold, there must be some truth to that. This is our best pocket pussy choice for 2021.

THUMBS UP

  • Accommodates all penis sizes
  • Easy to clean and maintain

THUMBS DOWN

  • Not submersible in water

#3. Fleshlight Destroya Realistic Pocket Pussy

Of all handheld pocket pussies out there, the Fleshlight Destroya may very well be the most intense. Inspired by the famous XXX performer, Stoya – a svelte bombshell from South Carolina – this sexy sleeve features the brand’s telltale shape and size.

It also uses their patented SuperSkin™ material, giving the device an especially lifelike feeling once covered in water-based lube. But the most interesting part of this toy is not its affiliation with Fleshlight or its fundamental ergonomics.

In fact, the Destroya is made exclusively for Stoya’s biggest fans. Using industry-leading manufacturing technologies, this bad girl looks exactly like the porn star does “downstairs.”

It comes in two different orifice models as well, with each featuring a different texture within the tight, detailed canal.

All of this is jam-packed inside a handheld casing made out of durable, hypoallergenic materials, and it also explains why the FD is one of the brand’s top-selling male masturbation devices ever.

THUMBS UP

  • Ideal gift or collectible
  • Compatible with sleeve warmers and shower mounts

THUMBS DOWN

  • May not accommodate all penis sizes

 

#4. Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit (STU)

Ah, yes, the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit – the device that college kids, married men, and elderly horn-dogs use to get it up and keep it pumping. The STU is so much more than a male masturbator with extremely intense textures wrapped by durable, hypoallergenic materials, though. It’s more like a manly medical device that can double as a sex toy if you want it to.

With zero anatomical detailing and only a smooth opening to navigate, you can let your imagination run wild while the jizz runs down your leg.

Better yet, use the STU with the compatible Launch machine for some hands-free stimulation and effortless practice. You can take this device almost anywhere thanks to its lightweight, compact size that’s perfect for discreet travel, even in the water for aquatic routines.

Its smooth, skin-like sleeve is fully removeable for easy cleaning, plus you can hook it up to a shower mount for thrusting drills or warm it up to help boost your endurance during the real deal.

THUMBS UP

  • Exclusive sleeve texturing
  • Ideal for foreplay and experimentation

THUMBS DOWN

  • May be too intense for some users

#5. TENGA Flip Orb Orange Pocket Pussy

The TENGA brand has been around for quite a while now, with many of their products reaching top-tier status within weeks of release. Their new Flip Orb Orange is no exception either, although it’s unlike anything else ever made.

First of all, it features the industry’s most complex pleasure texture through its multifaceted canal which houses anatomically positioned orbs to target penile nerve endings.

It also opens up wider than any lover could, with a unique hinged design that makes it perfect for all penis sizes.

This device was originally designed for all men and couples, but it ended up being especially ideal for guys suffering from erectile dysfunction, Peyronie’s disease, premature ejaculation, and many other problems that plague men in the bedroom.

As an added bonus, it features convenient pressure pads along the exterior to help you and/or your partner control the level of suction within the chamber. And since it’s battery-free, waterproof, and easy to clean, you never have to wait for the kinks you crave.

THUMBS UP

  • Clever construction for maximum discretion
  • Lightweight and portable for easy travel

THUMBS DOWN

  • No extra pleasure settings to explore

 

#6. TENGA Zero Flip EV Vibrating Pocket Pussy

If you’ve ever wanted to experience something truly unique, then pay attention to this. The TENGA Flip Zero EV is one of the sex toy industry’s most distinctive masturbation machines.

Not only does it have an exclusive hinged design that’s perfect for men with erectile dysfunction, but it also features a transparent sleeve so you can watch the action as it happens.

Plus, that sleeve houses the market’s most complex texture – a maze of nodes, nubs, and orbs to stimulate the most sensitive nerve endings in your crotch.

This revolutionary device is designed to offer maximum stimulation and convenience. So, while it lacks the anatomical features of other toys and does not automatically stroke or twerk, it does have a robust vibrating motor and manual pressure pads along the exterior to help you customize your experience.

All of that is jammed into a compact, lightweight casing that’s constructed out of skin-safe materials to help you stay comfortable and discreet. Did we mention that it’s USB rechargeable, because there’s that as well.

THUMBS UP

  • Accommodates nearly all penis sizes
  • Easy to clean and maintain

THUMBS DOWN

  • Not submersible in water

 

#7. Fleshlight Elsa Jean Realistic Pocket Vagina

A few years ago, Fleshlight got the hookup on some famous porn star pussies and the world has never been the same. Fast forward about a decade, and now XXX babes like Elsa Jean are having their vaginas molded for our pleasure.

That’s why this device has sold millions so far, and it’s probably why that won’t stop anytime soon. With an anatomically correct orifice in either pussy or ass and a supple, skin-like material for superior realism, there are only two things missing from this equation: a pair of bouncy tits.

You can use this device in a variety of ways too: manually, inside the automatic Launch™ device, with a shower mount, you name it. It’s both lightweight and portable plus discreetly designed and versatile.

It’s also exciting and easy to use, with an exclusive texture inside the sleeve that’s completely removable for effortless maintenance. The FEJ is considered a collectible as well, so now’s your chance to own a part of perverted history while getting front row seats to fucking juicy Jean.

THUMBS UP

  • Ideal gift or collectible
  • Superior realism for fantasy fulfillment

THUMBS DOWN

  • May not accommodate all penis sizes

#8. Fleshlight Turbo Pocket Vagina

For men who like to be the star of the show, few things are better than a pocket pussy that features a transparent sleeve with extremely detailed texturing. The only thing better would be a machine that’s designed for discretion and unapologetic dirtiness.

But according to the thousands who have already bought the Fleshlight Turbo, the holy grail has already been found. This bad boy is powerful, and that’s without all the bells and whistles of more sophisticated models.

The Turbo itself is actually part of a series that comes in two distinct designs – the Ignition™ and the Thrust™. Both offer targeted stimulation and voyeuristic charms, and they’re both anatomically abstract to help you complete the mission without getting the feels.

As for the Turbo, it’s the remix to Ignition – hot and fresh out the kitchen – designed to provide more extreme sensations, making you ejaculate as quickly as possible. And aside from the STU, it might be the most intense manual masturbator on the market.

THUMBS UP

  • Compatible with sleeve warmers and shower mounts
  • Easy to clean and maintain

THUMBS DOWN

  • May not accommodate all penis sizes

#9. Kiiroo Feel Britney Amber Realistic Pocket Pussy

Few people are surprised when a luxury brand comes out with yet another top pocket pussy for interactive stimulation. But when the Feel™ Britney Amber stroker was first introduced, folks went nuts (or at least busted some).

The part that had everyone shook was the intriguing realism of the sleeve itself. Draped in silky materials and detailed to look exactly like Britney Amber’s pussy, this device ushered in an entirely new realm of realism to Kiiroo fans.

Inside its canal are a series of specially designed nubs to pinpoint your most sensitive penile nerves. By itself, this pocket pussy offers meaningful masturbation through a design that’s hyper-focused on male pleasure.

Best of all, it’s also compatible with the manufacturer’s automatic Keon™ device that’s known for its kinkily convenient versatility and powerful pumping action (see #2 on this list). Either way, you can “hook up” with a famous porn star in the comfort of your own home, so score.

THUMBS UP

  • Ideal gift or collectible
  • Exclusive sleeve texture for maximum pleasure

THUMBS DOWN

  • Submersible in water (without the Keon™)

 

 

#10. The TENGA Zero Flip Hole (Non Vibrating)

The TENGA Flip Hole has a name that reminds us of our high school bathrooms, but we digress. Far more sophisticated than any man-made glory hole, this fuck biscuit is one-of-a-kind in several ways.

With a special type of polymer-infused, skin-like material and a “cum cap” to catch your load, this sweet sucker is good at home and on the go.

This shit has three different pressure settings controlled by the touch of a button which is housed on the side of the hard, plastic casing. Inside rests a soft and inviting inner lining that is minimally textured.

The reason for the toy’s simplicity: Its self-propelled suction is where all the magic happens. In other words, the Flip Hole can flip your lid without all the fancy sleeves and customizations. There is some assembly required though, but you don’t have to have a degree in engineering or anything.

Depending on where you get yours, the price tag will vary by about $25, starting at $50. We suggest buying up as much water-based lube as you can or else this hard hitter might rip your dick off.

It’s certainly not for the faint of heart and is perfect for couples and solo artists as well. Just don’t be stingy with it because after a while it can desensitize the penis and make nutting much more difficult.

THUMBS UP

  • Excellent choice for pleasure partners who enjoy gentle domination.

THUMBS DOWN

  • Too intense for novice dicks.

 

Our Bonus Pocket Pussies For 2021:

 

#11. The Fleshlight Quick Shot Boost – Best Cheap Pocket Pussy

I think we can all agree that our post-cum cleanup obligations are for the birds. Half the appeal of some of the most popular sex toys is that they’re the perfect apparatus for quick, one-the-go nut-busting.

But when you have to carry around a synthetic pussy filled with your own baby batter, things start to get weird. Wouldn’t it be nice to ejaculate without having to make a follow-up note on your to-do list?

Our friends at Fleshlight have thought of everything (besides where you’re going to blow your load now that the cum catcher is missing).

Just when we start to get upset by the lack of a cure for cancer, modern science comes out with something like this – a handheld masturbation station that’s open on both ends while still carrying some of the properties of a full-sized Fleshlight.

While both ends feel about the same on the dick and the opening’s tightness leaves something to be desired (especially on smaller cocks), the Quick Shot Boost certainly serves its speedy purpose.

For a toy coming in at just under $70, this toy is a worthy addition to your self-rape repertoire, even if it has a few flaws. As with any sex toy on the market, a little planning goes a long way.

However, due to the Quick Shot Boost’s open-ended attitude, it tends to last quite a bit longer than its enclosed predecessors. From where we’re standing, that makes this toy an investment.

THUMBS UP

  • Makes nutting a group activity.

THUMBS DOWN

  • Too messy when you finally get off.

 

 

 

#12. The TENGA Deep Throat Cheap Pocket Pussy

We won’t deny that our initial excitement about the TENGA Deep Throat cup was due to its descriptive nomenclature.

We don’t know any man walking this Earth that doesn’t appreciate some good head. Unfortunately, talking someone into slobbing on your nob is often harder than it sounds.

Luckily, pocket-sized blowjobs are being crafted by the thousands at your local TENGA factory, so you can go ahead and kiss that non-dick-sucking bitch of yours goodbye.

Almost like a condom flipped inside out, the sensations of the Deep Throat by TENGA is peculiar but perverse. With a lining that is thin, flexible, ribbed, and discrete, the directions say it’s only good for one use.

However, the $15 price tag says you can afford it to be dispensable. P.S. That means we don’t suggest cleaning it out and enjoying it on a rainy day. These things are designed like throw-away contact lenses, and you’re not impressing anybody by being a cheap ass.

That said, these tiny masturbatory miracles are tantalizingly textured in varying patterns based on your unique tastes, and each one features a small hole on the top to mitigate the suction power.

Great for solo play, they really shine when used for an incognito hand job with a willing partner (especially someone who’s not afraid to jerk you off under the table in front of your boss). For a moderately-priced, disposable sex toy, we’d say the TENGA Deep Throat is worth a second glance at least.

THUMBS UP

  • Feels like a serpentine tongue on your dick if you do it right.

THUMBS DOWN

  • Too expensive to buy as many as you’ll probably need.

 

 

#13. TENGA Eggs

The TENGA Eggs are not exactly “pocket pussies,” but they sure as hell compete with the best of them. These little suckers (pun totally intended) are super discrete and feel like heaven on a hard-on.

Depending on where you get them, they can range in price from $5 to $10, but even that’s cheaper than anything on the market to date, you fucking tight wad.

Inside each of the tiny egg-shaped cases is a dick-hugging masturbatory sleeve that’s textured in various patterns according to the product’s theme – aptly named based on the texture’s unique curves, bumps, and ridges (Thunder, Misty, and Crater, you do the math).

For something that’s not technically a pocket pussy, it fits nicely into anyone’s pocket or purse and is far superior to the standard hand job.

The toy comes with its own little packet of water-based lube too, so you automatically have everything you need to get the party started no matter where you are.

The egg is also the perfect accompaniment to a nice corona massage, which is how we would suggest using it anyway.

While the toy’s basic design theory is genius, we wouldn’t mind seeing a little work done to the overall durability of this thing. This is another disposable cock tickler as well, so don’t get too attached to it.

THUMBS UP

  • Very convenient and makes a great gift.

THUMBS DOWN

  • Too much texture in such a small space can create acute dick desensitization.

 

#14. The Blewit Pocket Vagina

Don’t let the pretty packaging and vibrantly colored casing fool you; the attractive Blewit is not as amazing as it’s advertised to be. On the other hand, if you’re looking for a quick, convenient, and otherwise mandatory release, this is the way to do.

osting only about $50 no matter where you shop, this somewhat lackadaisical toy is still fitting for pleasure-seeking newbies or folks who just want to rub one out before bed.

The opening is kind of generic, at least when compared to other models like the Fleshlight Girls and TENGA Eggs. However, this pretty little pocket puss is marketed as a “stamina trainer” and a “performance enhancer” because of the variable pressure rings that control the tightness of the grip.

While making adjustments mid-stroke is not a possibility, experimenting with your dick’s determination with each pass is always a party.

The beautiful Blewit features a flip cap that helps control suction as well, but all these moving parts start to make us feel nauseous after a while. Although you won’t need a degree to figure this thing out, you’ll certainly need the instructions and that could lead to an awkward situation in a hurry.

Thankfully, cleaning is somewhat easy and the entire shebang is rather durable. All-in-all, it’s not a bad toy to have shoved in your underwear drawer for a rainy day.

THUMBS UP

  • It sucks, and we mean that it in the best way possible.

THUMBS DOWN

  • Too trendy for serious pleasure seekers.

#15. The Cobra Libre II

This mistakenly named “pocket pussy” is not a thrusting toy at all, but rather it is a high-tech corona stimulator that goes right for the gold without delay. There are numerous different vibe patterns to choose from, so don’t be shy. It might feel a little crazy at first, but you’ll get used to it. For a sex toy that closely resembles an electric shaver and costs only $130, you better warm up to the idea.

Did we mention that this thing is waterproof? We mean fully submersible in the tub, shower, pool, or hot tub. Just be sure to charge the shit before you invite the neighbors, because the battery life it’s much to speak of and the toy will shut the party down quicker than 40 going West.

Another disclaimer: we didn’t notice any spot for our victorious nut. Thank fuck the Cobra Libre II can be cleaned easily. It can also be used with or without lube, but we always suggest a moist beginning. Mind the buttons on the side with slippery hands; they’re hard to maneuver. Maybe it’s best if you use this with a partner for a while until you get the hang of it.

THUMBS UP

  • It makes the head of your penis feel like a million bucks.

THUMBS DOWN

  • Too messy unless used in water.

6 Thing To Look For Which Will Help You To Select The Best Pocket Pussy On The Market

Picking out the best pocket pussy on the market  is never easy, especially with the likes of us telling you what’s good and what’s not. Trust your own instincts, because you know your dick better than we do. In the meantime, peep these 6 short and sweet buying guidelines to help you choose the right happy ending:

  1. Material

Find something that actually feels real to you, not just something that’s advertised with a “realistic” material. Silicone (TPE or TPR) is your best bet, but don’t be afraid to experiment a tad. Just try to stay away from toys made from anything referred to as “jelly,” as those materials tend to be chemically laden and harsh on the genitals. OUCH!

  1. Texture

Texture is important, but there are literally thousands of options out there. If you allow yourself to get bogged down by the choices, you’ll never make a decision. Keep in mind that the toy’s texture, albeit pleasurable, is only a small part of the erectile equation. Start with something simple and let your dick tell YOU what it wants.

  1. Customizations

Not all toys are going to have a shit ton of bells and whistles for your picky dicks. You’ve got to learn how to pick your battles if you ever hope to find something that gives you a solid nut every time. Besides, if you were any good at this you wouldn’t need a myriad of customizable options, now would you?

  1. Endowment Issues

We know we’re only speaking to a small portion of the population here, but if you have an enormous Johnson, get the fuck off this page.

No seriously, big dicked sons of bitches need love too, which is why we suggest double checking the size accommodation on every toy before you buy it.

Even you skinny-cocked assholes out there: be vigilant. Some of these fall out of the “one size fits all” category.

  1. Price

Don’t be so quick to get your panties in a wad over the price of the toy. Keep in mind that it’s designed to do the job of 4 hookers and 3 baby mamas with energy to spare.

A good pocket pussy or handheld masturbating unit can open up world of opportunity for you in the bedroom (or the kitchen, or on an airplane, or in the car, or…), so don’t be a cheap ass when it comes to doing something for yourself. High-end sex toys are usually worth every penny, able to do what most skanks only dream of.

  1. Clean Up

Some materials (especially TPE and TPR) are highly porous and need cleaned quite often, even when they haven’t been used for a while. With that said, clean up should be a breeze if the shit is designed right.

Beware of toys with “cum catchers” and “nut caps” because your baby batter can get caught in the nooks and crannies. We suggest springing for some toy cleaner and a little preservation powder (if available) just to protect your investment.

Pocket Pussy FAQs

Q: What’s the best way to clean a pocket pussy?

A: The way you clean a pocket pussy depends heavily on how it’s made. Thus, most manufacturers will outline the best cleaning methods inside the owner’s manual. Be sure to read yours for specific instructions.

Meanwhile, the general procedure consists of rinsing it with warm, fresh water and a non-abrasive, hypoallergenic soap or sex toy cleaning solution. Based on the directions thereof, you may have to rinse off the soap or let it evaporate in open air.

Either way, be sure to let it dry completely before returning it to storage.

NOTE: It’s important to clean your devices both before and after sex.

Q: Is there a specific type of lube I should use?

A: The type of personal lubricant you should use depends heavily on two factors: what the toy is made of and how sensitive your skin is. If you have allergies or get a rash easily from friction, try to stick with something gentle.

In most cases, your best option is a water-based lube with skin-soothing ingredients and a long-lasting formula. If possible, purchase a compatible lubricant from the same manufacturer that made your toy for optimal compatibility.

If all else fails, wrap a condom around your penis to protect yourself from potential harm.

Q: What happens if my device breaks or malfunctions?

A: Most high-end pleasure products for men come with at least a one-year warranty from the manufacturer.

However, that’s not always the case. Thus, it’s important to check your owner’s manual for more information. If your device does come with a manufacturer’s warranty, try to have it registered within 30 days of the purchase date.

That way, if something breaks or goes wrong, you’re covered. In the event that you don’t have a warranty, protect yourself from harm. Stop using the device until you either get it fixed, buy a new one, or find something else.

Malfunctioning and/or broken sex toys can be very dangerous to use.

Q: Can I bring a pocket pussy with me on a plane?

A: In most cases, you can travel with your favorite synthetic vaginas because they feature so few electrical components. However, vibrating devices may cause you some trouble when passing through customs because they have motors, buttons, and internal mechanisms.

Therefore, it’s better to be safe than sorry or embarrassed. So, take along only the toys that won’t get you stopped by the authorities – things made out of skin-like materials, toys without cords or chargers, etc. If you must have your favorite playthings on the road, mail them to your destination ahead of time.

Q: How can I use one of these things with a partner?

A: Using a pocket pussy with your partner can be a lot of fun if you know how to be creative. Depending on the toy’s design, you may be able to try different positions or experiment with various sensations.

In many cases, you can even mount your toys, take them into the bath or shower, sync them with high-tech automatic machines, or hand them over for a surprise attack. These devices are also ideal for pre-sex preparations, foreplay, and stamina training.

So, if there’s a will there’s a way when it comes to these versatile toys with customizable settings and ergonomic designs.

Q: Is it safe for me to masturbate with a pocket pussy when I have erectile dysfunction?

A: Not only is masturbation good for men in general, but it may also be beneficial to those suffering with erectile dysfunction (ED).

Medical science has discovered that frequent ejaculation may improve a man’s prostate health, thereby reducing his chances of developing ED in the first place. Thus, playing with a top pocket pussy or manual stroking machine may actually reverse the effects thereof.

In fact, these things are ideal for premature ejaculation cases and Peyronie’s disease sufferers as well. For more information on which device you should choose to improve your sexual endurance or performance, talk to your family doctor.

Top 3 Best Male Masturbators On The Market In 2021

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It can be hard for a man to make a buck these days. And spending any amount of hard-earned money on a luxury sex toy isn’t exactly a priority. Although I’ve chosen to pay for pleasure instead of rent on several occasions, the average guy doesn’t get down like that. When he finally does fork over his cash, he wants it to be for something good.

Unfortunately, there are so many options on the modern-day market that finding a worthy sex toy is now more difficult than ever. In terms of male masturbators alone, there are thousands of models to choose from and each one has its own unique set of features, benefits and drawbacks. So, how does one man sift through the riff-raff in a single lifetime? Well, he uses this comprehensive buying guide, that’s how.

What Is & How To Choose The Best Male Masturbator On The Market?

If you don’t know what a male masturbator is by now, then I think it’s safe to assume that you’ve been living under a rock for the last few decades. The male sex toy market is replete with gizmos and gadgets that tickle and tantalize the testicles, but you wouldn’t know that if you never gave one a try. And even if you have, the industry introduces new products at the speed of light. So, to be on the forefront of the fuck toy fad, you have to understand exactly what a male masturbator is and what it’s designed to do.

Put simply, a male masturbator is a device used on the penis to manually generate a customizable orgasm with minimal effort. These devices come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, with features that are unique to their type, design and/or brand. In other words, there are a shit-ton of options out there and it’s tough to navigate through it all.

Although the male sex toy market is full of products that provide pleasurable sensations to several parts of the male anatomy – the balls, the anus, the perineum, etc., masturbators are exclusive in that they concentrate their efforts primarily on the penis. Furthermore, male masturbators come in two basic forms: manual and automatic.

FEATURED RECOMMENDATIONS

BEST

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  • Autoblow Artificial intelligence
  • Hands Free Automatic Blowjob Machine
  • Uses interchangeable silicone mouth/pussy sleeves
  • 12 different blowjob programs
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  • Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit
  • Replicates the sensations of sexual relations and forces you to be better in bed
  • Will train you to last like a pornstar
  • Best experienced with GUN OIL H2O WATER BASED LUBE
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  • TENGA Zero Flip Hole
  • Turbulent internal textures for strong-yet-soft-stimulation
  • Manual pressure pad to tailor suction in chamber
  • Opens up for thorough cleaning and easy lubricant application
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Automatic masturbators are pre-programmed to pump with the push of a button. Manual models, however, require manpower and muscle to operate. Both have their pros and cons and both can be used with a partner if the right product is purchased. With that said, let’s go over the most common features of a modern-day male masturbator so you know what to look for. Keep in mind that each brand offers different stuff, and the features of manual/automatic models will vary as well.

The Features You’ll Most Likely Find In Today’s Best Male Masturbators

The most basic features on a conventional male masturbator can differ from toy to toy, but in general, you’ll likely find the following things on a manual model:

  • A sleeve made from skin-safe materials (usually silicone, TPE or latex)
  • A protective casing made from durable materials (usually polycarbonate plastic or silicone)
  • An orifice made with the same materials used on the sleeve, sometimes designed to resemble a pussy or ass

While manual masturbators seem like a lot of work for little benefit, some of the better models are designed in such a way that copulation and customization are made super easy – pressure pads on the side of the device, release caps on the end, etc. Usually, the features needed depend heavily on how aggressive the user plans to be with his plaything. Regardless, manual masturbators will always have a place in the industry because nothing beats a classic.

Automatic masturbators, on the other hand, are quite different, and not just because they drive themselves with manual support. The most common features on a high-tech machine also differ widely from brand to brand, but in general, you’ll likely find the following things on an automatic model:

  • A sleeve made from skin-safe materials (usually silicone, TPE or latex)
  • A protective outer casing (usually made from polycarbonate plastic)
  • An orifice made from the same skin-safe materials as the sleeve, often designed to look like a pussy or ass
  • A series of buttons or knobs to control the various pre-programmed settings
  • A housing for the batteries or a port for the charging cable

Of course, automatic masturbators are supposed to provide the same type of sensations as a classic minus the manual effort, but they’re not for everybody. Some men prefer to be in the driver’s seat and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, auto toys are becoming increasingly popular and there’s a good reason for it: nothing will ever beat an effortless orgasm.

One more thing: If you buy your device from the right company, it’s possible to find several interesting sleeve textures. Some manufacturers even mold their toys’ sleeves to resemble famous porn stars’ private parts. Combine that with some of the “ultra” features out there and self-gratification gets taken to a whole new level.

But If You’re Lucky

Obviously, the realm of automatic masturbators is much more complex and customizable than the realm of manual models, but that doesn’t mean they both can’t be a lot of fun. Still, automatic devices tend to offer features that are ridiculously cool and not always offered on manual toys. If you’re lucky, you’ll find a device that has one or more of the following features:

  • Remote Control

Toys that come with a remote control are ideal for couple’s play because they allow another person to determine how each session goes. Wired remotes can be inconvenient, but wireless remotes require batteries.

  • Bluetooth Connectivity

Men who have a good Bluetooth, internet or mobile connection benefit from this feature because it supports long-distance love-making and real-time play. Your connection quality matters quite a bit here though.

  • Downloadable Smart Device Apps

A smart device will make a man feel extremely stupid if he doesn’t know how to use it. So, if your toy comes with a free downloadable app, proceed with caution and make sure you have plenty of data to support your habit.

  • Virtual Reality

Thanks to advancements in technology, men with the right toy can now have sex with their favorite porn star or lover in real-time using virtual reality and compatible goggles. Key words: compatible goggles. Don’t make me tell you twice.

  • Online Porn Content

Using VR is a lot more fun when you can access online content. However, most of the content has to be paid for and you only get free chips or coins from certain toy manufacturers.

  • SenseMotion Technology

This little feature makes two compatible toys move in tandem with a lover’s body and it can be used with online content and virtual reality too. Still, if you’re not careful, SenseMotion Technology can be a real pain in the ass.

  • Sync-to-Music Capabilities

You’ll want to have great taste in tunes if you plan to use the sync-to-music feature on a male masturbator. Slow songs won’t produce much action and fast songs might rock your cock a little too hard.

Not all automatic male masturbators have these features, that’s important to understand. Also, the more features your toy has the higher its cost is likely to be. Manual masturbators are typically on the lower end of the spectrum, but that’s not always the case . Find your way through the bullshit by using the checklist below.

To Choose or Lose, That Is the Question

Although the male sex toy industry isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, it’s vital for you to decide on a device as soon as possible. Why? Because some manufacturers offer introductory pricing, plus you can find special discounts and other incentives that could save a punctual person a lot of money. In other words, if you snooze you lose.

Below are a few (ok, 5) pointers that are designed to help you sift through the rubble in a timely manner. Each one is something you should consider before buying anything. After all, you’ve got an anxious pair of balls to empty and I understand that, my friend:

  1. Your Intended Purposes

Male masturbators are made to be used in a particular way, but that doesn’t mean you and your partners can’t be creative. The toy you buy should be based on your intentions, not on your first impressions. For example, if you’re looking for a device that allows you to sit back and enjoy the ride, an automatic model is probably best. But if you don’t care about that shit and simply want a toy that will make you cum, either style should get the job done.

  1. Your Love Life

Pleasing yourself is one thing, but if you plan to use your toy with a partner, you’ll want to make sure the device is up to par with their standards. On top of that, you might want to consider distance. Should you and your lover live far apart, a masturbator with Bluetooth and VR capabilities can come in handy. Without those features, your toy is simply a glorified fifi that you’re forced to use all by your lonesome.

  1. Your Lifestyle

What’s your lifestyle like? Do you live alone or with other people? Do you have a lover or does most of your action come from porn? How often do you travel, and do you have ample time to take care of your toys? Your routine plays a big role in the masturbator that will work best for you. Some are easier to hide and/or maintain than others, so buyer beware. There’s nobody to blame but yourself when a roommate catches you playing pocket pool.

  1. Your Preparedness

You don’t get an internet, Bluetooth or mobile connection included with your purchase of a cock-sock, regardless of the manufacturer. So, it’s important to be ready with the right equipment to enjoy your chosen masturbator. While some models come with everything you need to get started, many do not. Be sure you have enough data and a fast-enough internet connection or half the features won’t work properly.

  1. Your Budget

The saying goes, “You get what you pay for,” and it’s true. Even when you’re talking about manual and/or automatic male masturbators, the price is a good indication of its quality. Yes, you might find some great deals out there, but for the most part, high-end sex toys are expensive. Expect to spend a couple hundred dollars for a decent device or remain a pent-up cheapskate for the rest of your life.

The Cheers and Jeers of Male Masturbators

If male masturbators are all that, then why has the sex toy industry invented so many other types of toys? Well, it’s because masturbators – whether automatic or manual – are not infallible.

THE CHEERS

  • Both manual and automatic masturbators are designed to fit a wide range of penis sizes.
  • Both types can be used with a partner.
  • There are plenty of customizable options available, including sleeve texture, orifice and tightness.
  • It’s possible to engage in a hyper-realistic sexual experience without ever having touched another human being.
  • Your existing love life is improved tremendously by introducing devices that elevate sexual pleasure.

THE JEERS

  • Your playtime options are rather limited unless you go fully automatic.

  • Automatic masturbators with all the bells and whistles can be costly.

  • Manual masturbators can make your arm muscles fatigue quickly.

  • Most male masturbators only stimulate the penis, not the balls, perineum or prostate.

The Last Word

Being in the market for a top male masturbator means you’ve got some money to throw around. It doesn’t mean, however, that you want to waste those funds on a product that’s no fun. Choose your next plaything wisely and make that cash work for you, not against you.

A good male masturbator will have all the features you want and none of the features you don’t. It will be within your budget and also satisfying. In addition, the right toy will generate the sort of sensations that you and your partner desire most, all while being effortless to maintain, simple to store and easy to use.

Reviews Of The Top 10 Best Male Sex Toys In 2021 (See The List Below)

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The future is now motherfuckers, so it’s time to hop aboard before the train leaves the station. We review top 10 best male sex toys in 2019 and give you coupon codesWhile some people are huddled in a dark basement crafting their own sex toys, you’ll be enjoying the best shit on the market because you’re not a crazy cheap ass.

Who’s the fool now, money saving perverts? Didn’t you know that the DIY crowd has never been welcome at the cool kids’ table?

Okay, so we’re being pretty hard on the do-it-yourselfers. Those toys can be kind of cool sometimes, but in all fairness that shit is pretty lame when compared to the high-tech gadgets being introduced to the 2021 market at lightning speed.

Forget cancer research or space exploration; apparently, some of the best minds in the world are working tirelessly to help men like us get the best nut we possibly can. And you thought futuristic science geeks weren’t sexy.

Now, we aren’t exactly saying that the fuck toys on this list are all “clinically tested for effectiveness” or that they have ever even seen the inside of a lab for that matter.

What we’re saying is simple: the mechanisms, materials, ergonomics, and overall design of the toys that follow are all backed by diligent studies that had the sole purpose of providing the penis with perfect playtime.

Now we wish we would have paid more attention in school.

Expertly made sex toys for men are hard to come by unless you do your homework, and we’re not big fans of that shit.

So, once we discover a dick pleaser that doesn’t disappoint, it quickly goes on the list. Most sex toys are a dime a dozen, but not these sons of bitches.

We’re not even kidding when we say that the following 10 toys are far superior to their DIY counterparts in erotic effectiveness, convenience, ease of care, and (of course) awesomeness.

Our Top 10 Best Male Sex Toys In 2021:

1.Autoblow A.I. (Our Best Male Sex Toy For 2021)

Everyone loves good head, which is why the inventors of the Autoblow A.I. have been working so hard to develop the world’s very first blowjob machine equipped with artificial intelligence and a patent-pending penis gripper that utilizes a texturized, interchangeable sleeve and a plug-in power system to run 10 different performance modes – one of which includes a setting that will keep changing its technique until the user either cums or shuts it down.

With a revolutionary ‘Edging’ function, users can now practice tantra or endurance training without losing their favorite setting in the process.

Furthermore, the masturbation chamber can pinpoint 250 different pleasure zones on the shaft of the penis, meaning each experience can be fully customized to the user’s unique preferences via the built-in control interface on the front of the machine.

Ideal for men who truly enjoy the sensations of oral sex, the AAI has revolutionized the way we think about blowjobs.

OUR RATING: It’s smart, durable, surprisingly lightweight, nearly silent, and extremely powerful. Need we say more? It is our best male sex toy for the year 2021.

BEST FEATURE: Artificial intelligence further enhances the tailor-made sensations inside the canal, but when combined with the Edging function this machine takes on a life of its own

 

2. Kiiroo Keon Male Sex Toy

If you are a self-proclaimed lazy fuck with a healthy sexual appetite, then the Kiiroo Keon should be right up your alley.

Its smooth and satisfying operating system requires hardly any energy on your part, aside from the inevitable post-nut cleanup routine.

But even that is made super simple by the combined minds behind its design – the famous Kiiroo sex toy brand.

These manufacturers have given the world of men a new option – taking masturbation where it’s never been before.

The manly machine is very compact and in charge for sure, but secrecy isn’t really a concern when the opportunity arises to use a high-tech piece of ass like this. Swap out your favorite fake vagina model in an instant to enjoy hours of pleasure with each charge.

OUR RATING: Not exactly discrete, but well worth the heat.

BEST FEATURE: Access to free online content such as sexy games, arousing videos, steamy webcam sessions, and FeelMe.com experiences via Bluetooth.

 

3. Kiiroo Onyx Plus Male Sex Toy

The Kiiroo Onyx Plus is made by the same company responsible for the one-of-a-kind “The Keon,” which graced our list as number one (not on purpose, but still).

This Onyx Plus is a similarly fascinating toy in that it can be used by teams, couples, or solo artists, depending on who gets to it first. The lightweight design is what makes it most appealing, at least when compared to the heavy-duty toys lumbering around the market these days.

Convenient weight distribution is not the only thing the Onyx has going for it though. It serves as a hands-free device and is completely wireless.

On a single charge of the powerful battery, it can run for hours, and it hums like a dream with no excessive buzzing noise. Neat and discrete, this toy is highly rated because of its ability to stimulate long-distance relationships with the touch of a button – no apps required.

OUR RATING: By far not the most affordable toy on our list, but it’s well worth its lofty price tag because of its compatibility with other Kiiroo toys (namely another Onyx or the Kiiroo Pearl).

BEST FEATURE: Not only can the Onxy be hooked up to live video feeds and Oculus Rift, it grants owners access to famous porn star webcams and has numerous masturbatory modes for each person using it.

 

 

4. Fun Factory Manta

Never before seen on the market, the Manta is marketed as a men’s toy but it’s surprisingly fit for couples. Designed to offer superbly versatile pleasure, this bad boy is not only powerful but it’s also more compact than any other male masturbator in the industry.

And while it may have a curious appearance and take some getting used to, it can, when used properly, provide a unique sexual experience for all parties involved.

According to the name, the Manta’s primary feature is the powerful vibrations produced by its industrial-strength motor.

However, I think that’s probably the least impressive thing about this toy. In fact, I believe the device’s adaptability to its environment is mind-boggling to say the least.

OUR RATING: It’s sleek design is a beacon of its superb craftsmanship. One of the sturdiest toys we’ve ever reviewed, the Fun Factory Manta is well worth the investment.

BEST FEATURE: It has 6 different speeds and 6 varied vibration patterns, there are a dozen ways to cum like a champ.

5. AutoBlow 2 Male Sex Toy

Don’t get us started on how much we love a no-strings-attached blowjob. Add a variable cornucopia of internal sleeve textures with which to customize the experience and we are so on board we might as well go down with the ship.

Loyal fans of the AutoBlow 2, we are, and there are a lot of good reasons why.

This automatic robotic mouth is a mainstay on the modern market. It features two textured rings that slide up and down the shaft of your penis, gently producing a sucking sensation at the same time.

It requires absolutely no manual interaction whatsoever – for the laziest sexual gluttons among us. And best of all, it’s a reproduction of the original AutoBlow that was so fucking fantastic it sold out repeatedly.

Pack your mate’s bags, gentlemen. BJs just came without a gag reflex.

OUR RATING: Moderately priced for the quality, there is no need for batteries and the mechanism is super tough considering how much wear and tear it takes.

BEST FEATURE: The textured sleeves can be interchanged at will to suit your picky dick’s opinion.

6. Fleshlight STU

#4 best male sex toy on the market in 2019

Sturdy and effective, the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit certainly lives up to its name. The hyper-intense sleeve texture is responsible for raping your cock with every stroke, practically stealing your jizz in minutes regardless of your sexual prowess.

Made in the good ole U.S. of A., this popular sex toy takes an almost medical approach to improving your bedroom technique. It’s like having western medicine for your cock and balls, and that’s not a raw deal at all.

Now, the Fleshlight STU is not a hands-free model, so don’t get it twisted. You will have to put in some work to enjoy its potent practicality.

However, the sleeve’s superbly textured lining is designed to make your work day short and sweet. Knock one out of the park before the game starts and watch yourself become king of the ring.

We don’t suggest using this if you have heart problems though, because it will elevate your blood pressure (in the best way possible, of course).

OUR RATING: We don’t get into sex toys that don’t pull their own weight, so the Fleshlight STU had to bring the thunder to capture our attention. Promise a righteous nut and you better deliver. This thing did, and then some.

BEST FEATURE: The SuperSkin sleeve’s texture is unlike anything we’ve ever encountered – real scientific shit right there. We would have loved to be a part of the product testing team for sure.

7. Fun Factory Cobra Libre II

Last but certainly not least is the infamous Cobra Libre II, by far the best corona stimulation machine on the market. With or without a partner, this bad boy slithers and coils around the head of your penis like a snake, winding and grinding until it achieves success.

Virtually weightless, durably made, and completely wireless, this high-grade sex toy is one of the most popular products on the market today.

Ideal for couple’s play, solo acts, or group activities, the Cobra Libre II can be enjoyed for hours with a single charge of the high-power battery that lies inside its sci-fi-inspired casing.

Masculine and marvelous, this heavy hitter can either be used to get the party started or it can function as the party itself.

OUR RATING: Being as its one of the only sex toys to focus mainly on stimulating the head of the penis, we’re big fans of the Cobra Libre II.

BEST FEATURE: It has numerous speed and vibratory pattern functions which are designed to tantalize even the pickiest of dicks.

8. Fleshlight Turbo

After all these automatic dick suckers have had their turn, there are still the traditional masturbators that run on good old fashioned manual power – nothing wrong with that.

The Fleshlight brand is notorious for cranking out high-end cock swallowers, and the Turbo model is no exception. With a terrific weight distribution that decreases fatigue, this bad mamma-jamma is no joke.

It features the Fleshlight brand’s famous SuperSkin material as one would expect, only the sleeve of the Turbo is such that it damn near forces your balls to empty in a hurry (hence the name).

Great for stamina practice and sensual solo missions, the Turbo comes in two models, each with its own unique sleeve lining: The Thrust and the Ignition. Gentlemen, we think it’s time to start your engines.

OUR RATING: The solid manufacturing is one of the best things about the Fleshlight brand. We aren’t ashamed to say that this toy retains a permanent place in our “just in case” arsenal.

BEST FEATURE: The wizard-like weight distribution is probably the best part, considering some people are immediately turned off my manual masturbators because of their bulkiness.

 

9. The Fleshlight Ice

Like watching the action when the action is taking place? Yeah, we do too, which is why we just had to add the Fleshlight Ice to our top 10 sex toys list of 2021. Not only has this fuck wand sold millions of units so far, but it doesn’t look as though the world has had enough of it quite yet.

Still one of the most sought-after manual masturbators of all time, this voyeuristic love stick is a definitely sight for sore eyes.

Made out of that beloved SuperSkin material that Fleshlight fans have come to know and love, the clear plastic sleeve and casing make it an onlooker’s delight.

Short, stout, and to the point, this toy is remarkable in that it provides a seriously sensual stroke and a super easy clean-up. Open on the end for expert expulsion, you won’t miss a bet with the Fleshlight Ice.

OUR RATING: Certainly a show stopper, this manual masturbator is as unique as the sensations it delivers with every painstaking stroke.

BEST FEATURE: As one of the most lightweight and versatile toys to come out of the Fleshlight lineup, the Ice is cool, calm, collected, and a lot more discrete that it full-size counterparts.

 

10. SizeGenetics

This monstrosity made it onto the 2021 Best Male Sex Toys list only because of its unique power to complete change the way you have sex.

While it’s not a “toy” per say, it’s two-decade-long service to men has earned it this position.

As a well-made and highly effective penis enlargement tool, the SizeGenetics system uses state-of-the-art traction technology to elongate the game in several ways.

Manufacturers of the system brag that their creation can provide a 20-30% increase in penis size when used as directed.

Our team saw similar results and so much more. This unique product helped up improve our performance in the bedroom, thereby rendering some of our beloved sex toys useless.

While everyone’s experience is likely to vary, we can’t say this thing belongs anywhere else but in our top 10.

OUR RATING: Being as the SizeGenetics system can accommodate any size penis, we’re not quite sure why every man doesn’t receive one of them as a gift at their high school graduation.

BEST FEATURE: The ergonomics of this contraption are on point, meaning it can be worn for extended timespans without too much discomfort.

 

 

 

BONUS: Penomet Penis Pump

Like we said before, a good penis enlargement system can work wonders for the conscientious user’s bedroom prowess, rendering certain “training units” and “cock rings” damn near obsolete.

The Penomet is one of those systems – a rigorous regimen for your unwilling and unattractive cock, squaring anxious men away one pump at a time.

Sometimes used by dudes with peyronies disease, this quaint contraption collection is still comprised of medical-grade materials and designed with sexy scientific principals in mind.

Made using a number of heavy-duty polycarbonate plastics and high-grade silicone, this product earns every bit of its trusted reputation.

Best of all, it’s not as expensive as some might expect for such an effective and popular system. Available in various sizes – sort of like a step-up process for cocks – the Penomet is one of our favorite go-to penis enlargement systems for a good reason.

OUR RATING: Somewhat less high-tech than the SizeGenetics system, the Penomet is still a terrific choice for budget-conscious men or for guys who like to take a trendier (and more attractive) approach to dick enhancement.

BEST FEATURE: It comes with a lifetime warranty (as if you’re need it after all the well-appointed design decisions), not to mention it’s mighty comfortable to wear considering what it is.

 

 

Bonus Best Male Sex Toys For 2021:

You really didn’t believe we had only 10 best male sex toys to recommend, did you? This is 2021; get with the times. There are literally thousands of sex toys for men out there, so naming only 10 was kind of difficult.

Although the aforementioned list is comprised of our favorites, here are a few more tasty tidbits for that overzealous ass:

 

Fleshlight Girls

Ready to take this shit to a whole new level? The ever-popular Fleshlight brand has teamed up with the industry’s hottest porn stars to help you do just that.

Thanks to some good old-fashioned artistry and a little handy-dandy craftsmanship, the Fleshlight Girls lineup consists of various molded twat replicas of your favorite broads.

This shit is perfect to use alongside the brand’s exclusive video and audio content. And the unique sleeve texture is matched perfectly with the porn star’s unique pussy walls (each sold separately).

With this shit, you can easily fuck your face off in the comfort of your own home. Slip yours into the Fleshlight Launch and smash your pick of the litter in real-time.

OUR RATING: If you’re looking to add a little realism to your sexy time, this is the way to go. If not, you truly don’t know what you’re missing.

BEST FEATURE: The vaginal walls and labial opening on the Fleshlight Girls masturbators look and feel so realistic that we couldn’t help but wonder where the rest of her was.

 

 

Fleshjack

More like a less high-end version of a Fleshlight manual masturbator, the FleshJack is still a terrific choice for men who want to spice things up in the bedroom (either with a partner or all alone).

Featuring a hyper-realistic flesh-like material and designed to look just as inconspicuous as its competition, this little number is a sound investment for those who want to play the field a bit.

There are no mechanically moved parts, no batteries, and no charging ports, but this thing is amazingly simple to clean and care for, not to mention super sexy despite its semi-popular nomenclature.

Originally introduced to the gay community, the FleshJack has now become a mainstay in hetero households across the world.

OUR RATING: It’s not a bad toy for the price, especially considering how similar it is to more expensive models when you close your eyes.

BEST FEATURE: The toy’s patented skin-like material is almost more appealing than SayberSkin and SuperSkin combined.

 

 

 

Lovense Max

Trying to bust a nut with your partner on the run? There’s an app for that. The Lovesense Max is a patent-pending blowjob machine that can be controlled with the touch of a button.

Complete with air vents for customized suction control, this tiny dancer is cute and compact (but don’t let that fool you). With a fully rechargeable battery and Bluetooth compatibility, remote romance is a potent possibility.

We don’t suggest using this son of a bitch by yourself; there are too many amazing features to keep it a secret.

Although your mate has to have their own LoveSense Max (or Nora) to enjoy the fruits of the toy’s labor, the price is such that it’s affordable for almost any budget. Your argument is invalid.

OUR RATING: We’re big fans of high-tech, remote-controlled, couples play. Nuff said.

BEST FEATURE: The Bluetooth connectivity is super strong when done correctly, and the battery life keeps things going hot and heavy for hours on end.

 

 

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Nice Balloon Pocket Pussy Made Out Of Popcorn

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Step 1: Fill balloons with warm water
Get about four or five popcorn balloons. Fill them with warm, not hot, water. Tie the ends so water will not squeeze out. This also works with hot water bottles.
Step 2: Roll a pillow put a plastic bag inside
Take a pillow; roll it up like a tube and tie a string around it or even use your belt. Push the warm water balloons into the opening of the pillow tube. Your fleshy warm vagina is almost ready. Take a small plastic kitchen trash can bag. Push it in between the balloons in the pillow. Put some lubricant of your choice inside the plastic bag that is being tightly squeezed by the balloons.
Step 3: Warm, tight, and slippery fake pussy
Get your dick ready. Put the pillow on bed. Put your dick inside this plastic vagina. You will feel the warmth, slipperiness and tightness you only dreamed of. If you are after the real deal though, as an alternative you may also check out our top pocket pussies.
Next Toy

Reviews Of The Top 4 Best Penis Extenders (Stretchers) In 2020

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When you reveal the family jewels to your latest lover, can you honestly do so with confidence? Most guys can’t; and although there’s nothing wrong with wanting more, there’s something terribly erroneous about being complacent. In other words, it’s ok if you have a tiny dick but it’s not ok to do nothing about it.

Modern-day technology has given guys opportunities that they could have only dreamed of in the past. With things like scientifically-backed penis pumps, pills and extenders, it’s now possible for a dull-dicked dude to step his game up in the comfort of his own home. Each option still has its own unique benefits and drawbacks, but anything is better than living your entire life with a short dick, am I right?

Out of all your choices, perhaps the safest and most effective one is the penis extender. Why is it such a premium option? Well, you need to understand what a penis extender is (and isn’t) first, and then you’ve got to realize that good things come to those who wait. So, while pills, potions and pumps can render some pretty significant results (and fast), they’re not ideal for every man.

Penis extending devices, on the other hand, are much more customizable and far less invasive than pills and potions especially. However, extenders are generally considered more effective and discreet than penis pumps as well. Depending on the guy using it and his personal growth goals, the mechanism required for noticeable, long-term results will vary widely. Still, it’s easy to find a good penis extender if you’ve made up your mind and know what to look for.

What Is a Penis Extender Anyway?

Knowing basic English helps you determine what a penis extender is because the name is very telling. However, for those needing more information, a penis extender is a man-made device that’s designed to manipulate the muscles in the groin area to stimulate growth and reproductive fitness thereof. Most extenders are strapped around the waist and many can be worn under loose-fitting pants. Usually, conventional penis extenders are far less frightening in appearance and operation than traditional models (thank God), but that’s not always the case.

These days, penis extenders come in all shapes, sizes and colors, with many looking more like novelty products than anything else. But that’s still an incredible improvement. Back in the day, men used to subject their junk to a whole gamut to ridiculous things, including tying ropes to themselves and allowing livestock to tug at will. So, even if you run into silly-looking devices on your search for the perfect product, rest assured that you’re no longer in enemy territory.

Contemporary penis extenders have a ton of updated, ergonomic features that are designed to make the process more comfortable without sacrificing any of the effectiveness. While the main idea is still the same – to encourage penile tissue growth through a combination of pressure and traction – the methods used aren’t quite as jackass-ish (literaly). So, with the right device you can be hung like a horse without ever having to strap your penis to one. How, you ask? Keep reading.

How Do I Find The Best Penis Extender (Stretcher) On The Market?

What was once “too good to be true” is now a tangible reality for many men, especially the ones who get their hands on a good penis extender. But regardless of their luck and despite the influx of options on the market, all of those guys had to know what to look for and what to expect before ever spending the first dollar. So, what do they know that you don’t? Well, it’s not much and it’s nothing complicated.

Finding a good penis extender starts with understanding how the device works in the first place. Manufacturers go out of their way to sell their products to consumers, even if that means lying, misrepresenting or manipulating the facts. Although it’s not true that every manufacturer does this, there are enough of them out there to cause alarm. In other words, buyer beware: Understand how penis extension works so you can spot a bunk product from a mile away.

Aside from that, here are a few other things you’ll want to take into careful consideration before whipping out your wallet:

  • Your Goals in Terms of Penile Growth

First and foremost, you have to realize that every man’s penis is unique. On top of that, his body and its functionality are one-of-a-kind as well. So, while some penis extender makers promise awesome results for everybody, understand that that’s not even possible.

Reputable manufacturers will openly state that their product comes with zero promises. They’ll tell you what is likely to happen if you use their extender as intended, and many might even go so far as to guarantee product quality or even offer money-back if you’re unsatisfied. Just understand that those two things are not the same and that no penis extender in the world is a cure-all device.

With that said, it’s still important for you to determine your personal goals in terms of how big or long you want your penis to get. Better quality products will likely offer more significant results, plus the extenders which utilize scientific research typically produce more growth. Have the finish line in sight so you can tell whether you’ve got a good product or not.

  • Your Lifestyle

You might not expect your lifestyle to have much to do with your penis extension endeavors but it does. There are a vast number of variables in the penis extender arena, and not all of the options are ideal for every lifestyle. For instance, some are more discreet than others, making them easier to use while traveling. Certain models can be used in water while others can’t come in contact with moisture at all. Depending on your lifestyle, the type of penis extender you choose will make a huge difference in your experience.

If you plan to travel a lot, wear your extender under your clothes in public, use it while other people are in the house or do anything outside the realm of complete privacy, you’ll want to examine the features of a penis extender carefully. Many models are quite bulky and obtuse, but some are actually designed especially for active men.

Keep in mind, however, that penis extenders are not classified as “Sex Toys” because they’re not typically used for pleasure or with a partner. Penis pumps are often categorized as “marital aids” because they can produce pleasurable sensations while helping your dick grow. Penis extenders, on the other hand, are not commonly used for pleasure or partner play but usually offer better penile growth results.

  • The Amount of Money You Plan to Spend

Another thing to keep in mind is the average price of a safe, well-made and effective penis extender. Good things are not cheap, and penile extension devices are no exception. While costs vary as widely as features, be prepared to pay up. Higher-end products have bigger price tags, of course, but that doesn’t always mean the device is better than something less expensive.

As always, you get what you pay for. However, some of the best manufacturers in the industry offer high-quality penis extenders at surprisingly low prices. Don’t get sticker shock but don’t be boujee either. No matter what your instincts tell you, a penis extender’s price is not always indicative of its effectiveness. Either way, allow yourself a budget of a few hundred dollars at least. That way, you can get a decent penis extender and don’t have to borrow money from your mom to afford it.

The Top 8 Things to Look for in Penis Extenders

Once you have a firm grasp on something other than your dick – things like your goals, lifestyle and budget – you can then set your sights on finding the perfect product by knowing which features to look for. If you’ve used a penis extension device before, you probably know what things deserve attention and what things don’t matter. The following guide might still be of use, so listen up.

For those who are new to this, or for those who want to improve their penis prowess, use the following checklist to pinpoint your ideal PE model:

  1. Comfort Level

Considering you’ll likely have to wear your penis extender for a few hours at a time, its comfort level is an extremely important factor to think about. Look for features like cushioned or rounded openings, flexible and/or adjustable straps and quick release knobs for emergency situations. Put simply, any features that are designed exclusively to reduce friction should be sought after. Manufacturers are constantly coming up with new and improved models, so keep your eyes peeled.

  1. Size Accommodations

Because penis extenders are most commonly used by men with relatively small or less-than-average sized dicks, most models are not suitable for guys with large cocks. Unfortunately, the industry seems to think that the well-hung homeys don’t deserve help with things like Peyronie’s Disease. What I’m trying to say is: Be sure to look at the size accommodations for each device so you’re not disappointed or worse, perpetually short-stacked and broke as a joke.

  1. Materials

You don’t have to be a material girl or even live in a material world to care about what your penis extender is made of. The best ones on the market tend to be comprised of skin-safe materials such as stainless steel, silicone, TPE or polycarbonate plastic. However, you may find some that use questionable and/or less durable stuff. In general, as long as the device is robust and free from potential allergens, it’s ok to think outside the box. Don’t hesitate to try a product that’s made from a new or innovative material.

  1. Evidence and Research

Anyone can slap together a few bolts and call it a penis extender. Hell, I did it once in college and sold 538 units to my retarded ass classmates. One thing I’ve learned: Only the legit manufacturers can back up their claims of quality and effectiveness with scientific research and clinical evidence. As with anything you spend your money on (or stick your dick in), always consider the source and seek a manufacturer with a good reputation. While brand names are not always indicative of quality, it’s a good place to start if you’re new to the game.

  1. Technique

All penis extenders work differently. For example, some require a little manual manipulation and others do all the hard work for you. Depending on several factors, including your mobility and experience, the technique required for results will vary, not to mention determine your success. Did you know that certain penis extension devices come with an exercise routine or dietary suggestions? My advice is to be careful not to bite off more than you can chew.

  1. Effectiveness

A product’s effectiveness should be one of the main factors used when determining its selling price, but that’s not how this shit works. Unfortunately, consumers must sometimes endure trial and error to find a decent product. In this case, however, you can simply read product reviews or get to know the manufacturer better to discover whether the product is worthy of your time and money. Trust me; people talk about these things a lot more than you realize.

  1. Complexity of the Design/Ease-of-Use

A product’s overall user-friendliness is a huge deal, especially when your primary objective is to strap that product around your dick and wear it for several hours. How can you benefit from a penis extender’s effectiveness if you can’t even get it on? After all, the complexity of each product is rather unique, with some requiring the equivalent of an engineering degree to operate properly. On the flip side, the over-simplified devices can be far less effective, if not a complete waste of money. Try to find something that rides right down the middle.

  1. Product Quality Guarantee

Apparently, not all penis extender manufacturers are confident in their product. Only a select few offer any sort of quality guarantee and fewer still give refunds to unsatisfied customers. Because of the nature of the product, returns aren’t usually permitted and results are seldom promised. Buy a device that comes with some kind of collateral just in case it turns out to be the wrong one for you.

Understanding the Pros and Cons of Penis Extenders

Growing penises isn’t for everybody. You truly need to know what you’re getting into here. So, before making any major decisions on a penis extender that’s caught your eye, consider the following pros and cons:

PROS

  • Nob Snob – If you play your cards just right, the ideal penis extender will improve your confidence so much you’ll start getting accused of being a snob.
  • Sexual Healing – Well-made penis extenders that produce noticeable results can boost your bedroom satisfaction, not to mention give your lover more to look forward to (literally).
  • Dirty Little Secret – Most penis extenders can be worn under clothes and produce no sound when in use, meaning they’re fit for public or private experimentation.

CONS

  • Take It Like a Man – Most penis extenders require a certain level of self-awareness, will power, determination and discipline. In other words, you have to remember to use the device regularly or it will be 100% ineffective.
  • Dolla Dolla Bills, Ya’ll – Good penis extension devices can cost several hundred dollars and don’t always come with a money-back guarantee if they don’t work or if you’re not satisfied with your results. Bummer.
  • Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained – Because positive results are seldom, if ever, promised by an honest manufacturer, purchase your device at your own risk and with the full realization that your results may be very different than what’s advertised.

The Final Countdown

Obviously, selecting the perfect penis extender requires some attention paid to the finer points. Not to split hairs here, but ask yourself the following 10 questions before going on your next shopping trip:

  1. Realistically, is my penis size a primary cause for my lack of confidence and/or sexual satisfaction?
  2. Will I have enough time to complete the requirements described by the manufacturer?
  3. Do I care if my family, partner or roommates find out?
  4. What happens when the product gets shipped to my house?
    1. Do I need to answer my door in disguise?
    2. Will my partner shoot me when he/she finds the credit card receipt?
  5. Is the device easy enough to hide when it’s not in use or do I have to rent a secret storage unit to keep it locked up?
  6. Do I need help with Peyronie’s Disease, erectile dysfunction or stamina?
  7. How’s my luck with the ladies and/or gents?
    1. Have I ever been made fun of for having a small dick?
    2. Does my confidence sway every time I pull down my pants?
    3. Am I doing this for myself or for someone else?
  8. Do I own clothing that’s loose enough to hide a bulky penis extender?
  9. Why haven’t I thought about doing this before?
    1. If I have, why did I give up on my search?
    2. Why am I back at it again?
  10. How many different penis extension devices have I tried?
    1. What products and/or methods worked best for my penis and lifestyle?

Final Note: This buyer’s guide is designed without bias to help you stay away from products that will disappoint. It may require a lot of homework, but this effort will be worth it in the end. Don’t feel too assured about your selection until you’ve gone through the lists above. There are too many landmines to step on. You have been warned.

 

Top 5 Best Penis Pumps For Men In 2019

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Not every man is born with the dick he desires, but that’s not where the story ends.penis pump reviews Just like some women dye their hair, wear slimming corsets, or get breast implants, the wonderful world of penis enlargement has been taken mainstream by men who are sick and tired of the double standard.

Back in the day, it was considered taboo to finagle with your fun zone unless it was for medical purposes. Today, however, millions of men around the world are choosing to break the mold by doing it anyway (and doing it proudly). Not only are there thousands of male sex toys on the modern market, but there are hundreds of penis pump options as well. Oh, what a time to be alive!

What Is Considered To Be The Best Penis Pump On The Market?

Put simply, a penis pump is a tool used to increase the size and girth of your dick over time. With continual use, most guys see a multi-inch improvement in thickness and length within just a few short months. Without needing surgery or any other invasive procedure, men can enjoy boosted confidence, increased sexual gratification, and better performance in bed.

This shit is the real deal, unlike some of the lame devices used in the past. As a device wherein your dick is crammed, cranked, and yanked until it’s the size you desire, modern science has teamed up with developers to formulate some pretty spectacular stuff. In fact, some of the most popular penis pumps on the market are not only affordable and effective, they’re also sleek and sexy. Many are made by reputable manufacturers using industry-standard technology and medical-grade materials.

These modern-day miracle workers are certainly changing the game, but with so many options out there, it can be a son of a bitch to find the right one. Your dick has a right to be picky, and so do you. Since there isn’t a one-size-fits-all penis pump on the market yet, figuring out which one to use is probably the hardest part (besides your post-pumped stiffy).

Why Your Cock Wants You to Be Choosey When It Comes To Buying a Penis Pump

While the general functioning of most penis pumps is the same, not all devices are created equally. Depending on the components and manufacturing of each model, the overall comfort level and effectiveness will vary greatly between products. However, relying solely on customer reviews is not a good idea when shopping for the best pump. Some of those bastards lie, others are paid to praise, and the rest of the idiots wouldn’t know a good penis enlargement product if it fucked them in the face.

Your dick wants you to be choosey about the pump you pick because it knows the importance of quality. Without a little due diligence on your part, you could end up with a shoddy machine that does little more than make you uncomfortable. Considering most penis pumps require long-term wear and repetitive use, a good design goes a rather long way.

Understanding the basic features that constitute a high-end penis pump is important, but that’s only the first step. Many of the top competitors offer pumps that are quite similar in function and design, so it becomes imperative that you know how to sift through the bullshit. Below is a list of the main things you need to look for when shopping for your next dick stretcher.

The Main Features to Seek In Penis Pumps

Although using a penis pump can be embarrassing to some men, and despite the fact that many dudes want their device to be as attractive as possible, it’s important to keep in mind the bottom line: you want this son of bitch to do its job as advertised. Keep in mind that most penis pumps are designed to be worn discretely beneath your clothing, so the device’s appearance isn’t as important as you think. While some manufacturers will have you believe that their product is superior to others because it’s attractively made, don’t fall for the bullshit.

Realistically, the following features are what you need to look for when shopping around:

  • Efficacy

The way in which each penis pump works will be the prime factor that determines its worth. In other words: ineffective penis pumps aren’t worth the materials used to make them. Pay attention to the claims made by the manufacturer while lightly skimming the words of previous customers. Try to combine the two resources to determine the efficacy of the product, and it never hurts to do your own research. After all, you’re likely to end up spending hundreds of dollars on this thing. Don’t waste your money.

  • Intelligence of Design

Science has come a long way, which means penis pump designs have as well. State-of-the-art technology, scientifically proven growth techniques, and medical-grade materials are now being used in products like this all over the globe. Gone are the days of cheapness, thank fuck. Ergonomics and economics are often combined to create an efficiency that should render an intelligently crafted pump. If not, throw that shit in the trash.

  • Size Capacity

No matter what a stripper tells you, size matters. After all, that’s why you’re interested in penis pumps to begin with. The mass of your family jewels needs to fit snugly inside the device you choose, but all penis pumps vary in size. Some can accommodate large penises while the majority of them are made specifically for men whose junk is less than enormous. For guys who have small to medium sized dicks, finding a good pump is pretty easy. However, dudes with horse cocks might have to do some shopping around.

  • Durability

Why spend money on something if it’s just going to break after a few uses? Malfunctions are a pain in the dick, especially when you’ve paid good money for that not to happen. While a lot of the modern-day penis pumps on the market come with manufacturer’s warranties, that’s not always the case. Still, a truly well-made product won’t need a warranty because it will continually kick ass no matter how many times it’s used. Look for pumps made from silicone, stainless steel, or polypropylene to get the most bang for your buck.

  • Material

As mentioned, a good penis pump will be made from high-grade materials. However, the quality of the materials used won’t matter if you’re allergic to something. Although many penis pump manufacturers use hypoallergenic materials, some are comprised of potentially irritating stuff like latex or phthalates. Check the box to be sure you’re not about to cram your no-no parts into something that will give you a rash because that shit is embarrassing. Remember, most penis pumps are designed to be worn for long periods of time, so dudes with sensitive skin need to pay especially close attention to this.

  • Discretionary Design

Considering the long-term wear requirement of the average pump, finding something that is discrete becomes the upmost importance. Unless you feel like sitting in your house alone until the final results are achieved, try to find a pump that’s designed in such a way that it allows you to wear it secretly beneath loose fitting clothes. Furthermore, go for a product with a carrying case or storage unit for when you’re not wearing it. You wouldn’t want your kids thinking it’s a toy.

  • User Friendliness

You’ll find that some of the most popular penis pumps on the market are difficult to use and even harder to assemble. Instructions or not, some of these bastards are downright impossible to strap into without a degree in engineering. My advice: keep it simple, stupid. You don’t need a NASA-inspired penis pump to get the job done, and you shouldn’t have to study blueprints to get it on or off your crotch. Yes, some of the more complex designs have extra features that might be appealing to some, but that’s still not a good excuse for unnecessary complications.

  • Appearance

Considering the fact that very few people are going to see the penis pump you’re using, the appearance of the contraption isn’t very important at all unless you’re a vain son of a bitch with nothing better to worry about. While some of the hottest products are made to look sleek and sexy, that honestly doesn’t matter at all. An ugly penis pump can sometimes do a better job than a pretty one, but the same can be said about the person you’re fucking. Choose wisely and remember not to judge a book by its cover.

  • Price

Last, but not least, is the cost consideration. Being as many of the penis pumps out there (especially the ones on this list) are reasonably priced, you may have to do some comparisons to find the one that’s right for you. Competitiveness is a market force that keeps prices down, but remember that you often get what you pay for. Inexpensive penis pumps might be appealing at first, but higher-end options may wind up being your best bet. Don’t be a cheapskate when it comes to this shit or you’ll be sorry.

Narrow down your search by comparing these features, but don’t spend too much time on it. After a while, they all start to look the same. Trust your instincts and go with the one that seems right for you.

The Top 5 Best Penis Pump Picks for Your Delicate Dicks

No matter where you go and despite what you’re trying to buy, there will always be items that outperform the others. When it comes to today’s best penis pumps, there is certainly a distinction between the winners and the losers. The best products seem to naturally rise to the top, forming the cream of the cockish crop. However, unless you know about those pumps, you’re likely to fall for false or misleading advertising. Fuck that noise.

And since you can exactly walk up to someone and ask what the best penis pump on the market is, having a bit of a guideline will be more help than you realize. While opinions are like assholes and everybody’s got one, professional insights can be used wisely to discover the best option. Among the many penis pumps being marketed today, the following 5 are the ones you should pay the most attention to:

*NOTE: The following devices are not in any particular order.

PENOMET

This bad boy makes it on the list because of its extremely rapid ability to increase penis size with the least amount of effort. In fact, users of the Penomet can see immediate penile growth in as little as 15 minutes. The designers have also made this thing perfect for those who want to increase their sexual stamina by decreasing and preventing premature ejaculation. More that just a penis pump, this marvelous machine is made from polycarbonate plastic and is typically hypoallergenic and safe to use for men with sensitive skin. It works wonders when used together with the sizegenetics system.

 

FLESHPUMP

Made by the famous Fleshlight brand, the Fleshpump features an electric vacuum mechanism that works using a rechargeable battery via a standard USB cable. Its powerful traction can be easily controlled with the quick release safety valve as well, just in case shit gets a little too intense for you. Designed using a see-through cylinder, it’s ideal for voyeuristic dudes who enjoy watching the action as it happens.

 

BATHMATE HYDROPUMP SERIES

The Bathmate Hydropump Series is a terrific option for penis pump newbies. As with all devices on the list, this one also has the power to quickly increase the size and girth of the user’s penis with a quickness, although its effects aren’t quite as fast as the others. Either way, this series is very well made and even comes with a limited 2-year warranty and an effectiveness guarantee. In other words: if this shit doesn’t do what it’s supposed to, you can get a full refund with no questions asked. And since it doesn’t require electricity or batteries, it can be used by almost anyone whether at home or on the go.

 

HYDROMAX X-SERIES

Known for its ability to produce incredibly improved erections, the Hydromax X-Series takes no prisoners. Guaranteed to drastically increase the length and thickness of your dick, it’s completely safe to use for newbies and experts alike. The Hydromax name is well-known in the penis pump industry and there’s a good reason for that. The overall design is super simple to use, the results are guaranteed, and if it doesn’t work you’ll get your money back. Fuck yeah!

 

HYDROMAX XTREME

Perhaps the swankiest-looking penis pump on the list, this bastard is ultra-powerful and perfect for advanced users. It features a convenient handball pump bulb and can accommodate rather large cocks unlike some of its competitors. Not the most expensive unit on the market, it still leaves the competition shaking it is boots due to its solid design, perfected mechanisms, and comfort level. It also comes with a limited 2-year warranty from the manufacturer and full refund is given to those who aren’t impressed.

Nearly all the penis pumps featured in this guide can handle heavy-duty dicks, although the Fleshpump and Penomet are more suitable for slightly smaller wads. And while the listed products are certainly not the only worthy penis pumps on the market, they are (in my opinion) the best of the best for reasons that should have been made clear in the descriptions.

The Bottom Line

Now that you have an idea as to where the good stuff can be found, it’s time to make a commitment to yourself and your family jewels.penis pump ratings You do not have to settle for what you were born with. Modern science has come a long way, developing troves of pain-free methods to extend and thicken your penis lickity-split. You’ve got to stop making excuses and get with the program.

Whether you’re regularly getting laid or not isn’t important. A good penis pump that can improve stamina and performance is useful when you fuck your favorite toys as well. Imagine how much better things will be when you can hump and pump like a professional. The only thing that stands between you and an awesome crotch is that credit card you’re hoarding. Time to let it go, you cheap bastards.

Penis Pump Tips and Tricks

Regardless of what you buy, your experience with it will be determined by how you use it. Since each model on the list is different, it’s important that you utilize the following tips and tricks to get the most out of your chosen penis pump. Check this out:

  • Clean your pump thoroughly after every use to prevent it from becoming a nasty ass capsule full of your own ball sweat and dick skin.
  • Follow the instructions carefully to avoid pain, discomfort, or device malfunction.
  • Register your device (if possible) to take advantage of the warranties it comes with.
  • Use your penis pump regularly to benefit from it the most.
  • Slap on a little lube before you slide inside so there’s no chaffing or difficulty removing your junk.
  • Never share your penis pump with someone else, even if they’re your lover or have an embarrassingly tiny package.

The Top 5 Best Dildos On The Market In 2021 – Reviews & a Buying Guide!

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Wouldn’t it be nice if all dildos were the same? You could just run to the store or hop online and get what you wanted without any fuss.

Unfortunately, it’s not like that in the modern world, and there are more choices than any one woman knows what to do with. However, there is an upside to that challenge: variety is the spice of life.

Among the plethora of plastic penises, there are some that are far better than the others. The reasons for their superiority aren’t always clear at first glance, but synthetic erection experts understand the different between quantity and quality. Rest assured, such a discerning eye isn’t something you can develop overnight.

Still, it only takes some careful consideration to separate the good from the bad and the ugly.

In fact, a dildo worth your time and money isn’t as hard to come by as you might think. With so many reputable manufacturers out there vying for your pussy’s attention, someone’s got to have the key that unlocks the flood gates.

So, instead of thrusting yourself into a mindless treasure hunt in search of the cream of the crop, use this concise buying guide instead.

But first, let’s quickly go over what a dildo is and what it isn’t.

The Top 5 Best Dildos On The Market In 2021:

Now that all the homework is done, it’s time to play. Below are the top five dildos on the market today, arranged in no particular order so you know there isn’t any hidden agendas.

It’s just straight-up information, recommendation, and vindication, nothing more.

Check these bad boys out before you miss the boat:

1. The nJoy Pure Wand

Made for ladies who nJoy simplicity, the Pure Wand doesn’t even look like a dildo but it functions like the best of them.

Curved to fit a woman’s body and provide direct stimulation to her g-spot, this bad boy is also ideal for p-spot play and can even function as a simple muscle massager.

It features a gleaming medical-grade stainless steel body that’s smooth and non-porous, making it friendly with water and all types of lube. And while it may not be the most realistic thing you’ve ever stuck inside you, it’s certainly bound to be one of the most satisfying.

MEASUREMENTS: Nearly 8 inches of insertable length with 5.5 inches in circumference

SPECIAL FEATURES: Double-ended for a customizable combination of sensations and experiences, weighted for substantial pressure on erogenous glans

PROS: It comes in one of the sexiest satin-lined presentation boxes known to man, and that box is meant to double as a storage container for the device plus a small bottle or packet of lube.

Furthermore, the Pure Wand is temperature responsive thanks to the VixSkin material

CONS: It’s lacking the realism that some women prefer in a good dildo and it’s not compatible with any harnesses or strap-ons (yet).

 

2. The Vixen Mustang

You can’t even look at this brightly-colored yet realistic dildo without getting a lady boner. The Vixen is a dual density kaleidoscope cock that may look like the rainbow but runs like a wild mustang (hence the name).

With a suction cup base that secures its super lifelike penis form, the VMD has become famous for being one of the most whimsical sex toys on today’s market. And playful or not, this flared-based fun stick is all about getting down to business.

The Vixen has an undeniably authentic texture that’s made from a patented VixSkin material and it utilizes a revolutionary solid core that’s surrounded by a pliable outer covering, giving the whole shebang that telltale human-like penis quality.

MEASURMENTS: A full 7.5 inches of insertable length with 5 inches of girth

SPECIAL FEATURES: Rare, unique and inspirational, expertly weighted for exceptional g-spot and p-spot stimulation

PROS: It’s one of the more realistic dildos on this list, with a curves shaft, raised head, and strategically placed veins for enhances realism and boosted sensations.

Plus, the VixSkin material is temperature sensitive and the whole thing is compatible with countless strap-on harnesses (and completely waterproof too).

CONS: It doesn’t have any balls, and it could be too heavy for some users.

 

3. The Vixen Johnny

If realism is what you’re looking for, then the Vixen Johnny may be the perfect dildo for you. Sculpted after a ridiculously good-looking penis, this silicone sex slave features a dual-layered shaft to give it that authentic erection quality.

With a bulging corona and texturized balls for an ever more hyper-realistic experience, the jolly Johnny unapologetically attacks the g-spot and/or p-spot of its victim.

Using the Vixen brand’s patented VixSkin material, this soft yet non-porous penis is wonderful, waterproof and hypoallergenic too (meaning it won’t cause a rash if you use enough water-based lube).

MEASUREMENTS: A cozy 7 inches of insertable length with 5.75 inches in circumference

SPECIAL FEATURES: Temperature sensitive, non-slip flat base, compatible with almost every interchangeable harness on the planet, suitable for vaginal and/or anal play

PROS: It’s soft and flexible while also being firm and durable. When used properly with a harness and plenty of water-based lube, Johnny feels a lot like a real boy.

CONS: There’s no suction cup on the base, making it difficult to enjoy hands-free play without a willing partner or compatible harness. Plus, it doesn’t come with a storage container either.

 

 

4. The Vixen Bandit

Beware: The Vixen Bandit could steal your heart and rob you of every latent orgasm you’ve never experienced. This relatively realistic dildo for women is shaped to stimulate the g-spot as nature intended, with a slightly curved shaft, a tapered head, and carefully placed veins.

Ideal for ladies who like to slowly build toward climax, this authentic-looking cock features soft, wrinkly balls that rest atop a flat base.

Compatible with most strap-on harnesses and perfect for the bath or shower, the Vixen Bandit remains infamous in the sex toy industry for its innate intensity and insanely accurate ingenuity.

MEASUREMENTS: A full 7.5 inches of insertable length with 5.5 inches of girth

SPECIAL FEATURES: Hypoallergenic and waterproof, tapered head to make insertion and removal more comfortable

PROS: It can be easily heated or cooled at will, plus it offers all the realistic penis features you’d want in a regular-use dildo.

CONS: It’s packaged in a clear, plastic container that looks like something a gas station sandwich comes in, plus it’s not the most lightweight dildo on the scene.


 

 

5. The ElectraStim Bi-Polar Electrosex Wave

This magnificent metal dildo is in a league of its own. Created from polished steel using a central acrylic isolator, this high-tech honey looks nothing like a penis but functions like it was made for the human body.

Sexy, sophisticated and ergonomic, this sleek and wavy little thing can be instantly transformed into an e-stim device with the push of a button.

The continually cool exterior adds to the pleasure provided, and it even has 7 insulating rubber rings at the bottom of the device to ensure the most robust sensation from each and every pulse that gets generated from the compatible electrosex power unit.

MEASUREMENTS: An acceptable 5.5 inches of insertable length with 3.5 inches in circumference

SPECIAL FEATURES: Layers of insulating acrylic deepen and intensify e-stim sensations, rigid shaft prevents injury and damage

PROS: This is one of the better e-stim dildos on the modern-day sex toy market, with a shaft that’s large enough to stimulate the g-spot and/or p-spot of any human body.

CONS: The ElectraStim EM60-E Flick Single Output Stimulator needed to turn this bad boy into an e-stim dildo is sold separately, and so are the required pads and conductive lube.

In other words, ownership of this device may get expensive if you don’t know what you’re doing. Oh, and this one isn’t waterproof (duh).

 

 

BONE-US: The Clone-a-Willy (Medical-Grade Algae-Based Silicone)

Relatively new to the dildo scene is the already famous Clone-a-Willy. This 100% customizable sex toy is made by you through the molding of your favorite partner’s private parts, but that’s not all.

The crafting kit also comes with an optional vibrating bullet for the center of your creation which, surprisingly, can comfortably accommodate dicks as large as 11 inches in length and 2 ½ inches in girth.

You can pick your favorite color for the molding powder or keep it realistic as well, which is super easy considering it makes a Hollywood-grade cast of the cock in less than 24 hours.

Furthermore, it’s super durable, hypoallergenic, easy to clean, and perhaps the most innovative sex toy on the market thus far.

KEY FEATURES: Fully customizable, vibrating (optional), waterproof, hyper-realistic

 

What in the World Is a Dildo? No, Seriously.

At least once in our lives, we’ve all probably called someone a dumb dildo when they acted like an idiot, but if we knew what we were saying we’d probably call them something else.

Considering a dildo is a magnificent penis shaped pussy poker that’s designed explicitly to provide pleasure, using the term as a derogatory one might not be as much of a sting as we think it should be.

Although the average dildo doesn’t look exactly like a penis, they’re ergonomically suitable for vaginal or anal insertion and they come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes. In fact, some even light up.

What they don’t do, however, is vibrate (at least not by themselves). So, don’t get a dildo confused with a vibrator because then we’ll all be confused.

Typically, you’ll find dildos made from various materials including silicone, rubber, glass, plastic, metal and jelly.

The best part is that these toys are ideal for both girls and boys – gender-friendly and open to interpretation.

A well-made version can last for decades, if not longer, and tends to be among the easiest toys in the industry to clean. So, without further ado, let’s get into some heavy petting.

Things To Consider That Will Help You To Find The Best Dildo For Your Pleasure

Since dildos can be used in several ways, it’s important to find one that suits you and your partner’s needs. And while these genitalia-resembling toys are most commonly used for manual masturbation, that’s not where their resume ends.

Interestingly enough, a good dildo can do so much more than just thrust your twat or butt.

Some folks like to use them for foreplay, as gags, or to brush up on their oral sex game. For real though, dildo.

So, depending on your intended uses, the right one can make a big difference in your ability to enjoy the moment. When searching, look closely at the following 5 characteristics:

SIZE

In general, dildos are sized based on their length (or width) and diameter (or girth). Just remember that, while size definitely matters, it’s not the most important factor when deciding on which toy to buy.

Bigger isn’t always better, believe it or not. Simply consider the size of your last partner and go from there. If the last person to fuck you had a thick, 9-inch dick and it felt amazing, then by all means go for something larger.

However, if your last partner came swinging a moderately-sized wang and it was enough, opt instead for a smaller dildo with a suction cup at the bottom to prevent slippage.

Keep in mind that the total length of some dildos is not exactly how far it can be inserted into your body. Just because a dildo is advertised as 10 inches doesn’t mean you’ll be getting all of that up in ya.

Furthermore, the girth of your chosen toy will be hard to fathom without a quick finger test. The average finger is between ½-inch and ¾-inch, meaning if you can fit two fingers inside you then you should go for a dildo with a girth of about 1 ½ to 2 inches just to play it safe.

However, if you’re looking for a bit more stretch, don’t be afraid to venture towards the fatter dildos which range between 2 and 3 inches in diameter.

TIP: Be sure to use plenty of lube, especially if you’re going for a tight fit. Stretching can be a lot of fun, but tearing, not so much.

SHAPE

The shape of your dildo matters quite a bit, if not more than the size of it. Many models are designed specifically to stimulate specific parts of the body or to train your holes for bigger and better things, so keep that mind when shopping around.

Several dildos are made to help the men and women who use them get used to the size before taking the whole thing. Enter: the tapered toy – a dildo that starts out small and then gradually gets wider the further down the shaft you go.

Shape is also important for the type of orgasm you’re looking for. Dildos are designed to stimulate the g-spot, the clitoris, the perineum, or the prostate, with some of them having attached balls, clitoral tabs, and curved forms to suffice your sexual needs.

Buying a straight dildo is great for those who enjoy a good thrust, but it won’t do much for people who need their sweet spots massaged. On the other hand, bent toys are terrific for customized pleasure but are usually smaller, less thick, and more tailored to the bodies they’ll be in.

TIP: It’s possible to get a good dildo for stretching AND sweet spot stimulation if you buy one with all right features.

FEATURES

While dildos come in all shapes and sizes, they also have features which make them stand out from the competition. Although many look and function the same, they’re not all created equally.

Aside from having various curvatures, lengths, and widths, many dildos have unique textures and detailing that make them ideal (or not) for a variety of users.

For example, ribbed or studded toys tend to offer more of a stimulating entry and exit while smooth textured dildos are designed for simplistic thrust and pull parties.

Moreover, dildos shaped for the expressed purpose of reaching your g-spot or p-spot are a feature all on their own. Knowing what each dildo is designed for will ensure you get the most bang for your buck. And while standard dildos don’t usually offer vibration, there are some models that do.

Most of those vibrating dildos feature numerous vibe functions as well as life-like heads, shafts, and balls to make the experience as real (and surreal) as possible.

You might also find a dildo that warms to match your body heat – a relatively new invention by the most innovative manufacturers in the industry.

Furthermore, there are dildos out there that have suction cup bases which support hands-free play. They can be attached to chairs, floors, walls, and sides of shower stalls to ride like a pony.

Not only do the best among these types stay put even when the going gets rough, but they also allow you and your partner to get handsy while thrusting freely on the shaft.

Of course, there are always the famous double-ended dildos that are perfect for some super kinky partner play, but those are self-explanatory and not recommended for folks who are new to the whole fake dick thing. And of course, how can I forget the mind boggling ejaculating dildos?

TIP: Be sure to buy a waterproof dildo if you plan to take it to the shower with you. Not all dildos are water-friendly, especially the ones with included vibrators.

MATERIALS

While you may be thinking that any old dildo material will do, you’re wrong. In fact, the difference between plastic, silicone, glass, metal, and rubber is so great that you’d be hard pressed to get the same experience out of them all.

Although rubber and silicone dildo versions are the most popular, the variety doesn’t end there. Be sure to carefully consider the type of sensation you want before spending any money.

Usually, silicone is the most desired material in these sex toys because these are not only the most realistic dildos but also seamless, nonporous, latex and phthalate free, and hypoallergenic.

They’re also the toy most likely to have insertable vibrating bullets, suction cup bases, and lifelike balls. That option may be your safest and sexiest bet, but don’t be afraid to venture out a bit.

Even though glass tends to scare some people away, breakage never occurs and they’re super smooth, not to mention ultra-easy to clean.

Oh yeah, and glass dildos can be quickly heated or cooled to your liking, so there’s that.

While both silicone and glass dildos have extremely long shelf lives when maintained properly, perhaps the most durable material is metal.

Rubber and plastic are much more pliable, but metal is extra efficient at stimulating the G and P spots.

Metal can also be warmed or cooled easily and some of them even come with their own detachable vibrating bullet. The choice is yours, so choose wisely.

TIP: The type of material you choose will determine the kind of lube you can use.

CLICK HERE TO FIND THE BEST QUALITY DILDOS ON THE INTERNET

GENDER ASSIGNMENT

Here is something you should write down while you’re at it: dildos are not interchangeable with the vagina and anus. Men who use a dildo shouldn’t buy one designed for women, and women using a dildo shouldn’t buy one designed for men.

Furthermore, once that bad boy is inserted into your hole, that’s the one and only hole it should go in.

Also keep in mind that vaginal models usually aren’t designed for easy removal because they bottom out at the cervix and take care of that themselves. Anal dildos aimed are typically aimed at men and don’t work the same.

Inserting a dildo into your anal cavity and having it travel too far can ruin a perfectly good evening.

Purchase a toy that’s made specifically for your intended uses and never swap back and forth with it unless you want a nasty infection.

WHERE TO BUY THE BEST DILDOS ONLINE:

LOVEHONEY OFFICIAL WEBSITE (BEST PRICE & FASTEST DELIVERY)

CLICK THE BUTTON TO REVEAL A SPECIAL 10% DISCOUNT CODE:

TIP: Buy a dildo that’s relatively easy to clean and maintain so it lasts longer, allows you to do more, and keeps you from worrying about awkward rashes and impromptu visits to the emergency room.

Top 5 Best Prostate Massagers & Stimulation Toys In 2019: A Buying Guide+ Discount Codes!

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In a land filled with sexy toys for girls and boys, there’s only one type that gets everyone’s attention: the prostate massager. While prostate stimulation is mainly a man’s game, the ladies can have fun with it too. Giving your dude a sultry shock to the ass is always a party, but using shoddy toys can be a real downer. And since there are so many massagers on the market these days, a little bit of knowledge about what’s out there goes quite a long way.

Granted, you could just go to your local triple-X toy store and grab the first thing you find on the shelves, but then you run the risk of bringing home something shitty. Why not save yourself the embarrassment? Just like buying a new car or dating a new lover, being picky is very important. However, since prostate massaging has been considered taboo for such a long time, few people know what to look for and thus they end up with a device that’s little more than a vibrating piece of shit.

The buck stops here, ladies and gentlemen. Gone are the days of trial and error, replaced now by the days of intelligent purchasing. Well-made prostate massagers can revolutionize your time in the sack. They can bring you closer to your lover, increase arousal, and take you to pleasurable places you never dreamed possible. On the other hand, cheap or poorly made prostate products can ruin your opinion before it’s fully formed. Don’t let that shit happen to you; check out this buying guide prior to spending any of your money.

What Is Considered To Be The Top Prostate Massager?

A prostate massager is a device that’s inserted into the ass in such a way that it touches the prostate gland causing maximum pleasure. Some of them vibrate, some of them do not. The functionality of each device is meant to be customized to the user’s liking, but it’s tough to know what you like if you’ve never used one.

FEATURED RECOMMENDATIONS

BEST

anerosvice1
  • Aneros Vice
  • Anatomically designed prostate vibrator for tingling anal pleasure
  • Stainless steel 9-function vibrating bullet offers tailored arousal
  • Perfect for hands-free P-spot massage
GET THE BEST PRICE ON THE INTERNET

nrevo2
  • Nexus Revo 2
  • Powerful prostate massager with rotating head for incredible prostate stimulation
  • Made from smoothest silicone
  • Fully rechargeable, with over 4 hours of pleasure with every full charge
GET THE BEST PRICE ON THE INTERNET

lhugo1 prostate stimulator
  • Lelo Hugo
  • SenseMotion remote for movement-activated vibrations
  • 2 vibrating motors for twice the vibration power
  • Can be worn by all levels, during solo play, foreplay or sex
GET THE BEST PRICE ON THE INTERNET

 

Fortunately, prostate massagers come in several shapes and sizes, giving beginners a place to start and experts a place to stay. In my opinion, the smaller massagers are ideal for people who have not had the pleasure before, although some men prefer the shock of a hearty stick even on their first attempt. Many of the devices available on the modern market are shaped similarly, but there’s always an exception to the rule.

Generally, prostate massagers are shaped like shafts or bulbous eggs, with several different types of safety features, touch-sensitive functions, and even perineum stimulators. Giving rise to a new type of sensation, prostate massagers are designed to improve your Pound Town experience by bringing the kink back to the bedroom in a safe, effective, and (usually) hypoallergenic way. Still, it’s important to check out the specific features of each one to determine whether it’s right for your bum or not.

Our Top 5 Best Prostate Massagers In 2019:

With all those fabulously fuck-worthy features in mind, there ends up being only a handful of prostate massagers that fit the bill. Without further ado, here are the top 5 on the market today:

 

1. The Aneros Vice

This heavy-duty machine is made from surgical stainless steel, so you know it’s a bad motherfucker. It vibrates at 9 different speeds, allowing you to fully customize your experience. Furthermore, it features an external flare with a squishy P-tab meant to stimulate the perineum while it gently (or forcefully) tantalizes the prostate. It’s ideal for hands-free fun but can be used with a partner as well, with expertly designed ergonomics suited perfectly for male anatomy.
READ THE REVIEW & GET a SPECIAL 15% DISCOUNT CODE!

 

2. The Nexus Revo 2

With only 6 different vibrating functions you’d think this device was less enjoyable than its multi-function counterparts, but that’s where you’re wrong. This crazy son of a bitch actually features a unique rotating shaft that’s hooked up to a wireless remote control which works as far as 15 meters away. Perhaps best of all, it’s super quiet when in use (even on the highest setting), and it has that perineum stimulator that most men love.
READ THE REVIEW & GET a SPECIAL 15% DISCOUNT CODE!

 

3. The LELO Hugo

If you’re looking for a sexy surprise, this the massager for you. Featuring movement-activated SenseMotion technology and dual motors for twice the vibration power, the Lelo Hugo is ideal for discreet debauchery. With a handy-dandy wireless remote control and up to 120-minutes of continual battery life, most of the men who use this son of a bitch fall in love with it after just one use (and so do their perverted partners).
READ THE REVIEW & GET a SPECIAL 15% DISCOUNT CODE!

 

4. The LELO Loki Wave

Luxurious is an understatement when describing this marvel of modern technology. Its ergonomically correct design features plenty of curves and the flared body that’s required to prevent slippage. Moreover, it gives off this hot ass wave motion while it vibrates at 6 distinct speeds, and each of those speed settings has its own customizable intensity. It also comes with a convenient storage pouch unlike many of the others on this list, so nobody has to know how much of a freak you are unless you want them to.
READ THE REVIEW & GET a SPECIAL 15% DISCOUNT CODE!

 

5. The LELO Billy

Smooth, safe, and sensual, this particular prostate massager features a silky soft body made of hypoallergenic silicone and even has a safety lock on it to prevent unwanted action. It’s very quiet when in use and features 5 individual vibration settings that allow for customized pleasure. Ideal for solo artists, it’s still a good choice for couple’s play. And since it’s super tiny, this toy is perfect for on-the-go gratuity if you know what I mean.
READ THE REVIEW & GET a SPECIAL 15% DISCOUNT CODE!

Why It’s Important to Be Picky When Selecting a Prostate Massager?

Considering that not all prostate massagers are created equally, being choosey about the one you buy is the first step towards sexual success. Unfortunately, some people give more thought as to what they’ll eat for dinner than what they’ll shove up their ass. That’s not only sad, it can also be dangerous.

In a perfect world, all prostate massagers would be made from allergy-free materials, but that’s just not the case. Furthermore, some of the functionality features are lacking on many models. Battery life, convenience of design, and ergonomics are huge concerns as well. Bottom line: this is not a perfect world, so it’s of paramount importance to be as picky as possible when it comes to this kind of thing. But, you don’t need me to tell you that, do you?

The Top 10 Prostate Massager Features to Look For

What you really need is a generalized guideline to help you get the most bang for your buck. Once you’ve decided that a prostate massager is something you’d like to try, there’s really nothing that can stop you. But before you get too excited about what you’re about to experience, consider the following:

Effectiveness

Yes, shoving something silky up your ass to tickle your prostate is probably going to feel amazing regardless of what device you pick to do it with, but that doesn’t mean they’ll all give you the same sensation. The point of a prostate massager is to make you jizz from the inside out, and not all products will get the job done. The efficacy of the device is vital, so keep that in mind or you’ll be sorry (and sore).

 

Intelligence of Design

Ergonomics is a pretty big deal these days, with modern science coming up with some pretty remarkable shit that’s specifically designed to contour to the shape of the human body. Men’s colons are as unique as snowflakes, so there’s no one-size-fits-all prostate massager anywhere. However, some of the devices on the market are more suitable for the average Joe’s asshole, while others are so generic that they seldom do anything noteworthy. And while it’s damn near impossible to know the twists, turns, and texture of your own anus, you should be able to imagine what a prostate massager will feel like based on its well-appointed curves.

 

Size

It doesn’t matter what any of your past lovers have told you, size is important; so important, in fact, that disregarding the girth of a prostate massager can land you in hot water. A device that’s too small could render less than pleasing results or worse, get sucked up into your ass. On the other hand, a device that’s too big could be very painful during insertion or worse, it could get stuck in your ass. Nobody wants that shit, so buyer beware.

 

Durability

Considering all the abuse your chosen prostate massager is likely to sustain, it’s critical that the device is made to withstand repetitive use. While your willingness to perform general maintenance is imperative to the longevity and integrity of the machine, a well-made massager will be able to take a licking and keep on ticking. Some manufacturers even offer warranties with their products, so be sure to keep your eyes peeled. You’ll be glad you did.

 

Material

The material with which your favorite prostate massager is made of matters even more that its size. In fact, a device comprised of the wrong shit can wreak havoc on your sensitive butt skin. Go for something made from medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, or polycarbonate to avoid an embarrassing rash. Stay away from latex toys or devices with potentially harmful phthalates. Even if you don’t think you’re allergic to anything, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Trust me.

 

Design

The overall design of the device you choose will determine how much you enjoy using it. While some of the prostate massagers out there are smooth and without much shape, others feature several bulbous curves and textures, perineum stimulators, or convenient handles. Depending on how you intend to use yours (either alone or with a partner), the design will make a huge difference in your experience.

 

Function Features

Do you want something that remains stationary, or do you prefer a prostate massager that vibrates, gyrates, or both? There’s something out there for every walk of life, so take your time choosing. Some of the best models even come with remote controls or Bluetooth compatibility. When it comes to tickling your tight end, the sky’s the limit. Pay attention.

 

User Friendliness

If you’re looking to use your prostate massager with any sort of regularity, the user-friendliness is essential, especially when you plan to enjoy it with a partner. Nobody wants to be mid-orgasm and have to stop and check the instruction manual. Keep it simple, stupid, or pay the price at the most inopportune time. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

Appearance

Not the most important factor but still worth considering is the appearance of the massager you pick. Because you’re likely to use it with someone else, having a prostate stimulating device that looks like a cheap piece of shit is not good for your image. While many of the most popular models appear moderately attractive, some of them look lame as hell. Think about what you want and go for it, even if it’s freaky by every else’s standards.

 

Cost

Last but not least is the price tag on the device you want. Keep in mind that you get what you pay for, but that doesn’t mean you have to be ripped off either. In general, the average prostate massager costs between $50 and $150, but there are always some that break the mold. Consider it an investment in pleasure and go for the gold.

CLICK HERE TO FIND THE BEST PRICES ON THE INTERNET

Yes, there are lots of prostate massagers to choose from. No, these aren’t the only ones. However, the professionals among you agree that the 5 toys listed here are basically the only ones worth paying attention to. The reason being because all the others tend to imitate what’s found here without being as appealing. But, suit yourself. After all, it’s about getting off as hard as you can.

Prostate Massager Tips and Tricks

Using a prostate stimulating device is relatively simple, but as is the case with everything on the market, there’s always that one dumbass who fucks it up for everyone else. With that said, here are a few tips and tricks designed to be a sort of disclaimer to help you get the most out of your magnificent machine:

  • Don’t Be Dirty in the Wrong Way

Make sure you clean your device properly after each use. It’s been close to fecal matter and shouldn’t be used twice without a good wipe down with warm soap and water. Check you owner’s manual for specific maintenance instructions.

  • Keep It Put Away

Properly storing your prostate massager will help to keep it intact despite how much you abuse it. Not only that, but it will prevent the wrong people from knowing your dirty little secrets.

  • Check the Power Source

All these prostate massagers operate differently – some with rechargeable batteries and others with USB cables. Either way, checking the battery life or power source is a good idea (because being forced to stop in the middle of cumming isn’t fun for anybody).

  • Lube It Up

Be sure to use a high-quality, water-based anal lube with any prostate massager you choose or else you could experience some uncomfortable chaffing, not to mention have a hard time getting the son of a bitch out of your ass. NOTE: Some of the devices on this list come with a free sample packet of lube.

  • Start Small

Nobody is going to give you an award for taking a huge prostate massager up the rear-end if you’re not ready. Know your limits so you can have the most pleasurable experience possible. Start small and work your way up to the big leagues with no shame in your game.

  • Play with It

Try out all the device’s settings before settling. You never know the heights you could be taken to without experimenting. You know what they say: Don’t knock it before you try it.

WHERE TO BUY THE TOP PROSTATE MASSAGERS ONLINE:

LOVEHONEY OFFICIAL WEBSITE

CLICK THE BUTTON TO REVEAL A SPECIAL 10% DISCOUNT CODE:

The Last Word

Looking for a great prostate massager without being able to test it out can be frustrating; nobody is going to argue with you about that. The closest you’ll ever get to being about to “try before you buy” is reading a comprehensive buyer’s guide like this one. Hopefully, it does you justice. If not, then go fuck yourself; I tried.

You can always go back to simply sticking a finger up your ass to reach that sweet spot, but I wouldn’t suggest it. Prostate massagers are a safe and effective way to quickly and efficiently amp up your sex life without harming the delicate interior of your colon. Best of all, they’re relatively inexpensive and are made by some of the biggest names in the sex toy industry.

When you find the right one, you’ll be glad you did your homework before spending any money. A well-made device can change your perspective on what’s possible in the bedroom. Furthermore, it can increase your freaky fortitude without damaging your self-esteem. Sounds like a good plan if you ask me (and you did).

Top 5 Best Squirting & Ejaculating Dildos That Actually Cum In 2021 + A Buying Guide & Best Prices Online!

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Before you roll your eyes in disbelief, yes, there’s a such thing as a squirting dildo. Designed to provide a hyper-realistic masturbation experience, gushing gizmos aren’t nearly as nasty as they sound.

When you get the right one, self-gratification is forever changed.

In fact, dribbling dildos can create a cascading effect that produces a whole-body orgasm.

Considering the fact that we buy fake dicks with “realistic” veins and porn star-inspired molds, it’s not too far-fetched to imagine a life-like sex toy that gushes in appreciation just like the real thing. In other words: squirting dildos offer you the well-timed money shot you deserve after all that humping and pumping.

Give It to Me Straight, Doc: How Does a Top Ejaculating Dildo Work?

Commonly referred to as “ejaculating dildos,” “cumming dildos,” or more specifically, “ejaculating marital aids,” squirting dildos, as we’ll call them here, allow the user to control when and how the toy cums during manual masturbation.

The way in which that feature is manipulated, however, depends on the toy and its manufacturer. As such, some squirting dildos are better than others.

First of all, the primary reason people like squirting dildos is the money shot, otherwise it’s simply a run-of-the-mill dick-shaped penetration device.

Understanding the voodoo that squirting dildos do is a vital step toward finding the ideal model. Put simply, ejaculating toys are a prime example of perverted realism if you use them right.

A squirting dildo works by ejecting your choice of lubricant from a pre-drilled hole in the tip.

Because many lubricants have the same appearance and texture as human semen, ejaculating dildos create a hyper-realistic sensation inside the vagina, the anus or on the skin. In fact, high-quality ejaculating dildos can accommodate warmed lube for even more intensified pleasure.

Finding the best squirting dildo requires not only patience and research but also a keen understanding of your body and sexual preferences.

Just like with any other sex toy you buy, there are a few considerations that must be made before money is exchanged. If you’re new to the realm of squirting dildos, this guide should help you navigate the trenches.

The Five Features of a Fabulous Ejaculating Dildo

There’s one thing that all sex toys have in common, and that is that none of them have anything in common. They’re all created differently; and as such, their features and functionality vary widely.

Simply jumping into the ejaculating dildo pool without knowing what to look for will leave you up Shit’s Creek without a paddle (literally).

Plus, you may end up hating the idea without ever experiencing all that these unique toys have to offer and that would be a damn, dirty shame.

To find the toy with the most potential, compare it against similar toys using the following criteria:

  1. SIZE

No matter what anybody says, size is VERY important. This is especially true when you’re talking about penetrating sex toys.

Like all dildos, the squirting variety comes in a variety of shapes and sizes to satisfy the desires of all tastes. Don’t forget about that when shopping just because one of the options you find have cute features or a convenient design.

Apparently, there’s a “cucumber test” you can administer to determine the ideal size of a dildo, but I have no idea what that involves so here’s an easier, more environmentally-friendly way:

  • Figure out how many fingers need inserted into your vagina or anus to stimulate pleasure.
    • Consider the gratifying effects of gentle stretching.
  • Measure the width of your fingers.
  • Use the width measurement to determine the average diameter of the dildo you should buy.

Keep in mind that most squirting dildos are standard-sized but many manufacturers produce extra-small or extra-large devices as well.

Usually, you can find a toy’s measurements in its description. If not, your best bet is to move along.

  1. SHAPE

Let it be known: not all dildos are shaped realistically, or like penises for that matter.

Especially in the highly specialized squirting dildo market, toys are offered up with such variety that consumers must take a more educated approach to purchasing one than they would a family sedan. We’re talking shafts that are straight, curved, angled, ridged, bumpy, extremely veiny, and so on.

These things are made to provide a wild ride but that’s a ridiculous number of options to choose from.

Don’t skip the shape when you’re considering whether a squirting dildo will work for you. The shape of any toy is supposed to work with your body to stimulate various erogenous zones.

The squirting action of these customizable dildos is meant to work in tandem with all that. If it has a terrible shape or features curves and bumps that don’t do it for you, the entire experience may be ruined (or excessively messy).

TIP: For best results, stick with the realistically shaped squirting dildos, especially since these toys are designed to provide the most life-like experience outside of real sex.

  1. MATERIAL

It’s okay to be a material girl when you’re living in a material world. With modern-day manufacturers constantly introducing sex toys made from new or questionable materials, it makes perfect sense to shop with caution.

Skin sensitivities and allergies can be a real downer, not to mention potentially dangerous.

The best squirting dildos are made from high-quality, medical-grade or skin-safe materials such as:

  • Silicone
  • TPE
  • Vinyl
  • Glass
  • Polycarbonate plastic
  • A brand’s patented skin material (SuperSkin, CyberSkin, etc.)

Try to stay away from toys made with latex because it limits the kind of lubrication you can use during sex and may cause skin irritation.

Furthermore, steer clear of phthalates as they’ve been linked to cancer and other serious health conditions. Being a responsible sex toy owner and user means treating your device and your body with respect.

That brings me to my next point: the material used on your toy will directly affect how easy it is to clean, store and maintain.

In addition, not all materials are made with the same industry standards. You’ll notice both skin-safe silicone and medical-grade silicone mentioned. Not only are they not the same but they feel and smell differently as well.

  1. FEATURES

I probably don’t have to tell you this, but the features of your squirting dildo are extremely important. While many “ejaculating marital aids” offer vibrations, some do not.

On the other hand, a few of the best models on the market offer a whole lot more than some standard vibes – super high-tech features like Bluetooth compatibility, VR headset syncing, downloadable porn, online content libraries, motion-activated sensors and linked smart phone apps.

Remember, however, that your dildo’s functionality is dependent on your ability to manipulate the controls.

So, if you’re not very tech-savvy, an ultra-modern model probably isn’t right for you.

Alternatively, those who are comfortable with contemporary technology might find the traditional, low-tech models a bit too boring or predictable.

  1. PRICE

Last but not least, you should probably glance at the price.

After all, most consumers want to get the most “bang” for their buck (pun intended). Looking at each product’s price tag will help you determine which manufacturers are living in reality and which ones have their head in the clouds.

While there’s no magic number, expect to spend at least a couple hundred bones for a squirting dildo that’s worth your time.

BONUS FEATURE: COLOR

Today’s sex toy industry is all about being attractive and trendy. As such, you’ll find squirting dildos in a wide variety of colors, from human complexion shades to bright neon hues.

Although most of those techni-colors are made with skin-safe materials, err on the side of caution by double checking each product’s ingredients list (if possible).

The Top 3 Ejaculating Dildos on the Market in 2021

You’ll find a plethora of squirting dildo models out there, but as you know now, they’re not all worthy of your attention. While not every sensible device is on this list, the top three models are mentioned below (in no particular order):

1.The “Bust It” Realistic Squirting Dildo by Doc Johnson

Made by a reputable company, the Bust It is made in American with the best quality materials and under strict manufacturing standards, a.k.a. no latex or phthalates.

With a hyper realistic design, this flesh-colored veiny mold conveniently features a removeable suction cup and a syringe-style lube ejector.

The total length is just over 9 inches, but the total insertable length is around 7 inches. That leaves about 2 inches of hangtime for a solid grip.

It has a nice girth of a little under 6 inches and it’s available in three humanistic colors: white, brown and black.

FAVE FEATURES: It comes with a small sample of “Nut Butter” which is a synthetic jizz replacement, plus the price and proportions are both on point.

 

 

2. Doc Johnson Realistic Ejaculating Dildo 5.5 Inch

Nobody is certain who Derek is but apparently, he’s got an enormous dick. This thing is a squirting dildo of epic proportions. At 12 inches long and over 7 inches in circumference, Derek provides a fit that’s only for the pros.

It features a realistic look and feel, plus it holds about ½ ounce of “jizz” in the toy’s ball sack which, conveniently, doubles as a hand pump for the money shot.

FAVE FEATURES: It’s affordably priced and surprisingly easy to fill with lube.

 

 

3. Lifelike Lover Classic Ejaculating Dildo

Although it’s made by a relatively unknown company, the SD with vibes gives users the best of all worlds – a realistic feeling dildo, an easy-to-use squirting mechanism and spine-tingling vibrations.

And while many people look at this thing and assume it’s merely a novelty item, CosmeticPerfection has still managed to create an effective erotica device that’s user-friendly and ergonomically sufficient. It measures 8.25 inches in total length (with 6.75 inches of that insertable), plus it has a 6.25-inch circumference and a 29-inch remote control cord.

That’s right; I said this thing is remote controlled.

FAVE FEATURES: The remote control makes this toy so much fun to use during couple’s play, not to mention how the vibrating motors add a pleasurable plot twist to the story.

The Official Squirting & Cumming Dildo User’s Manual

Did you know that climax is just as important to sexual gratification as the initial engagement (a.k.a. foreplay or insertion)? While men are constantly coddled with voyeuristic sex toys designed to give them terrific visuals, women happen to like a good look as well.

In today’s highly technological world, it’s now possible for the ladies to achieve a realistic orgasm while watching the show unfold.

Getting the most out of any squirting dildo requires some common sense, not to mention a little familiarity with the product itself. Aside from understanding how the toy works, knowing a few tips and tricks can improve your experience tremendously.

The following are 3 facts you need if you’re in the market for a squirting dildo:

  1. The Lube You Use Matters

Your squirting dildo will ejaculate whatever you put in it. So, if you pour poison into your toy, expect a bad day. As such, the lube used in your “squirty thingy” matters more than you might think.

When a man cums, his semen is thick and musty, right? Some of these things eject lube that looks, feels and smells like the real thing.

Point of advice, however: try to always use a lube that’s produced or recommended by the same manufacturer who made the toy. Aside from pure functionality and brand affiliation, safety should be your primary concern.

Some lubricants aren’t good for all skin types, especially the ones that contain latex or other potentially hazardous chemicals.

Since the best squirting dildos are usually made from silicone or TPE, stock up on silicone-based or water-based lubes just to be safe (and savvy).

FUN FACT: Some squirting dildos allow users to create their own unique lube recipes (like the Doc Johnson Realistic Ejaculating 6-Inch Cock). There are even a few flavored lubes to try out in case you’re wanting to brush up on your oral presentation.

  1. Your Prep Game Needs to Be on Point

Owning and operating a squirting dildo should require a license. Although they all come with a set of instructions from the manufacturer, the learning curve can be somewhat difficult with some models.

Not only should you prepare for the feast by familiarizing yourself with the toy beforehand but you should also manage each session like a sex-pert.

To do so, you’ll need to know how to fill the dildo’s “cum” chamber. Keep in mind that all models work differently, so make sure you know where the trigger is located and how to activate it.

Some models require the user to squeeze a hand pump while others eject lube with the press of a button. Whip out those instructions so you don’t mess anything up.

  1. Deal with the Aftermath Like a Pro

Sometimes, it’s fun to get a little messy. However, not cleaning up after yourself is a rookie mistake. Unclean dildos (especially ones with hollow chambers) can become breeding grounds for bacteria if they’re not maintained properly.

On top of that, dirty dicks can cause infection, skin irritation or simply break down the material of the device over time. Try to deal with the aftermath like you know what you’re doing.

Many times, squirting dildo makers have incorporated the cleaning process into the overall design of the toy, making it easy to take care of.

However, some manufacturers haven’t gotten the memo and thus, their toys are quite difficult to maintain. Look for something that requires little more than a quick rinse with mild soap and water.

CLICK HERE TO FIND THE BEST PRICES ON THE INTERNET

 

Understand as well that most squirting dildos allow for portion control, meaning they eject varying amounts of lube/jizz depending on which setting is chosen by the user.

So, if you select a large load then you might want to lay something down to protect your floor or bed. And since squirting dildos aren’t just for solo artists, keep your partner’s comfort and hygiene in mind as well.

The CONS and PROS of Ejaculating Dildos

In order for anyone to experience the true magic of a squirting dildo they must know what they’re getting into. Below are a few pros and cons you should consider:

PROS

  • Squirting dildos are ideal for those with fantasies about semen and causing orgasm.
  • These toys allow users to safely and privately fulfill desires.
  • SDs increase satisfaction by stimulating all the major body senses.
  • Ejaculating marital aids help spice things up in the bedroom without involving outside parties.
  • High-quality squirting dildos often accommodate a variety of lube types and recipes.
  • Many models offer the same high-tech features that non-squirting models have.

CONS

  • Squirting dildos aren’t nearly as discreet as other models.
  • SDs require more maintenance and patience, especially during cleanup and storage.
  • Ejaculating marital aids aren’t likely to make you climax if you require g-spot or direct clitoral stimulation.
  • Many people consider squirting dildos more of a novelty item than a reliable staple.

 

Reviews Of The Top 5 Best Rated Vibrating Dildos On The Market In 2019

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Selecting the perfect vibrating dildo can be a pain in the ass – literally in some cases. However, it doesn’t have to be that way anymore, especially not with this crazy cowboy in town. I welcome you all to the Self-Taught School of Sex. Today’s lesson: Buying the Best Vibrating Dildo. You better ace the quiz at the end.

The Definition of a Vibrating Dildo

Vibrating dildos, or “vibe dongs” as I like to call them, come in many shapes and sizes. To understand what a vibrating dildo is, though, you first have to know what a dildo itself is (and isn’t). Put simply, a dildo is merely a handheld self-pleasure device that’s used to generate vaginal and/or anal stimulation during sexual intercourse or masturbation by yourself or with a partner. A dildo is not, however, an old cucumber in the bottom of your refrigerator drawer.

In terms of vibrating dildos, the name pretty much sums it up. Vibrating dildos are simply dildos that have vibratory powers through either an integrated motor or an internal bullet. The main idea is for the vibe dong to stimulate the g-spot and/or p-spot of the user with a variety of settings that lend themselves to the toy’s overall functionality. If the device can do that while being thrusted in and out of a tight orifice, it’s considered a legit vibrating dildo.

While getting an education on vibrating dildos it’s also important to realize that they’re not all made the same. The variant sizes, shapes and qualities of the devices available can leave the average consumer overwhelmed. Being well-versed in your options is crucial, but that starts with gaining an appreciation for the popularity of this innovative, body-safe sex toy.

The Top 3 Advantages of Using Vibrating Dildos

Back in the day, our ancestors were forced to masturbate with whatever they could scrounge up around the house. Modern-day archaeologists have recently uncovered thousands of carefully carved dildos fashioned out of everything from stone to chalk. Fortunately, we’ve come a long way since then.

Contemporary sex toys are swanky, well-made pleasure tools that have features we could have only dreamed about in ancient times. Thanks for advancements in technology, today’s best vibrating dildos offer a whole host of advantages to the average person’s sex life, including but not limited to the following three:

  • Customizable Sex Options

Vibrating dildos have provided much-needed inspiration for the ever-evolving sexual revolution that our world is currently experiencing. Made by some of the most in-tune manufacturers on the planet, today’s best marital aids allow users to enjoy a fully customizable orgasm whether that be through their own labors or with a willing partner’s help. Furthermore, the settings featured on most modern-day vibrating dildos can be turned on or off during playtime, further expanding the playbook for today’s hottest sex toy enthusiasts.

  • Couple’s Play Choices

Engaging in a little foreplay with your partner is always fun but fingering and fondling can only take you so far. After a while, you both start desiring more pleasure from the other. Often times, the only way to provide that is to involve a sex toy or two. And one of the most sought-after couples-friendly sex toys is the vibrating dildo. Versatile and vivacious, top-notch vibe dongs are a lusty lover’s best friend. Some even come with wireless remote controls and/or Bluetooth capabilities for short or long-distance mystery runs.

  • Compatibility with Other Toys

All of today’s scientific discoveries have not been wasted on nonsense things like curing cancer. Important matters have been addressed as well. Thanks to the hard work and dedication of the world’s most talented perverts (I mean scientists), we now have vibrating dildos that are compatible with other toys. Granted, you’ll probably have to buy both devices from the same manufacturer to enjoy all the features, but the point is that we’ve finally reached a point in our evolution where we can achieve climax while being social butterflies instead of weird hermits.

Because of the integration of user-friendly, couples-engaging features, contemporary vibrating dildos are playing a huge role in making sex toys less taboo. In fact, vibe dongs have now been openly discussed and promoted on countless new broadcasts and other media outlets. Stay-at-home moms are hosting “romance” parties in their basements while the kids play upstairs, and guys with cock and confidence problems are finally getting their groove back. Dare I say that good vibrating dildos have the potential to change the world?

I’d proudly shout that from the rooftops if I knew that every shopper on the planet would end up buying the perfect model for themselves before forming an opinion. Unfortunately, that’s seldom ever the case. The sex toy market is not only huge but it’s also quite confusing to someone who doesn’t know what to look for. Personally, my first sex toy purchase was a set of anal beads and I hadn’t even tried ass play yet. The reason: I was so inundated with options that I got lost in my own perversion. Don’t let that happen to you.

The Top 5 Things to Look for in a Good Vibrating Dildo

The only way you’ll ever enjoy all the things that come with responsible vibrating dildo ownership is to shop with due diligence. And the only way to shop with due diligence is to have some predetermined guidelines in place to help you out. Fortunately, I just so happen to have a set of those just lying around in my office. Here they are, without further do – the top five things you need to look at or consider when searching for your first (or next) vibrating dildo:

  1. The Overall Size

Know this, my freaky friend: There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all vibrating dildo. Couples-friendly, versatile, adjustable or otherwise, the overall size of this particular toy plays a huge role in how much fun you and/or your partner will have with it. A proportionate vibe dong should be about the same size as your ideal penis, with a few centimeters thrown in for good measure. As always, be sure to understand that the total length and insertable length are two different things. And of course, never ignore the numbers regarding width (girth), especially if you’re new to sex toy play or intending to use your dildo both vaginally and anally.

  1. The Realism (Or Lack Thereof)

Good dildos don’t always look like a real dick. In fact, some of the best vibrating dongs on the planet are made to resemble anything but a human penis. And while you might think that such products wouldn’t sell or produce sexual pleasure, it turns out that orgasm can be reached through the use of more than just the natural shaft. On the other hand, there’s something to be said about a vibrating dildo that looks exactly like a throbbing cock. Either way, examine the realism (or lack thereof) on each toy you’re considering – you know, just to ensure it has the right stuff like an NYOTB song.

  1. The Materials

As with anything on the modern market, and especially contemporary sex toys, vibrating dildos are made from a wide variety of materials, some of which are not exactly safe for the skin. Granted, most of today’s best sex toy manufacturers have gone above and beyond to make sure their products contain nothing but high-end, hypoallergenic components. However, there are still a few stragglers that have latex, parabens and phthalates in them. Double check each dildo’s material list before falling in love. Getting a rash or an allergic reaction from your plaything can be a real heartbreaker.

  1. The Features

Vibrating dildos are set apart for one glaring reason: They vibrate. The speeds and intensities thereof can vary widely from model to model. Therefore, you must take ample time to review the various features offered on each device you’re eyeballing. Look for things like adjustable vibe settings using ergonomic touch-sensitive control pads or wireless remotes. Also peep the new SenseMotion Technology being used which adjusts the vibe settings with the flick of your wrist. You might also be interested in features like Sync-to-Music, virtual reality, and downloadable porn content, especially if you’re a horny power couple.

  1. The Manufacturer

That brings me to my last point. Always (and I mean always) consider the maker of the toy in your hand. Not only does the manufacturer’s reputation tell you a lot about the quality of product but it might also make you privy to certain advantages. Special sales and discounts are only the beginning. Some manufacturers actually offer quality guarantees and product warranties, not to mention the fact that some of the couples-friendly vibrating dildos can sync up with an automatic male masturbator if it’s made by the same people. And if you’re lucky, you may even be able to enjoy a little brand cross-over since many sex toy makers have started developing products together (Kiiroo and Fleshlight, for example).

No matter what you decide or how you come to that conclusion, it’s vital that you at least use the aforementioned guidelines to point you in the right direction. Keep in mind that today’s marketers are extremely clever. You may think you know what to get, but you could be sorely mistaken if you don’t shop smart.

Top 5 Best Vibrating Dildos to Consider:

Appreciating the value of vibrating dildos and knowing how to shop for one is only half the battle. You’re still up against thousands of different models with features that seem eerily similar to one another. It’s rough out there, so a few little suggestions can go an awfully long way for most people. With that said, here are what I consider to be the top five best vibrating dildos on the market right now:

1. The UPRIZE RC Erecting Dildo Vibrator

Forget about RC cars, this is best remote-controlled toy money can buy. The UPRIZE Erecting Dildo Vibrator uses the manufacturer’s patented technology to provide long-lasting, rock-hard erections that come with 10 different vibration modes that can be manipulated by you and/or your perv of a partner. This durable and delectable dick has a 6-inch circumference and a 6-inch insertable length, plus it features a convenient suction cup on the bottom of its flared, soft-balled base. Made entirely out of smooth, skin-safe silicone and happily harness compatible, the user-friendly URC is 100% waterproof, not to mention it uses a rechargeable battery and curves ever so slightly for momentous g-spot/p-spot motivation.

 

2. The Fun Factory Stronic Real

This USB rechargeable vibrating dildo is much more than meets the eye, although what meets the eye is already quite attractive. Shaped and sized just like a real human penis, the Fun Factory Stronic Real vibe dong is an active and alluring member of society. By that I mean it vibrates while also thrusting at seven different speeds and at three different intensity levels depending on which setting you choose on the integrated control panel, making it one of the most user-friendly, couples-compatible sex toys on the market. Sleek and sexy, this bad boy has a tapered, realistic tip, comes in two sophisticated colors, and measures 5.5 inches in insertable length with a 5-inch girth – perfect for both vaginal and anal stimulation.

 

3. The Fun Factory G5 Big Boss

If you’re anything like the rest of us, you can’t even look at this thing without immediately noticing how unique it is. With a specialized finger-loop handle on the bottom that features the toy’s integrated control panel, the Fun Factory G5 Big Boy offers 5 different speeds and 4 powerful vibration functions. Moreover, it’s made from medical-grade silicone and is completely waterproof in case you were wondering. This amazing work of ergonomics features a realistic shape and head, plus it measures a human-like 7 inches in insertable length with a generous 5.75-inch girth. The best thing about this vibrating dildo, however, is the speedy 2-hour recharge time required by the surprisingly robust internal power station.

 

4. The Urge Strapless Strap-On Dildo Vibe

I just had an urge to put this product on my Top 5 list because of its relatively exclusive design and impressively well-done features. As one of the rarest sex toy types, this already amazing vibrating dildo works triple time as a prostate massaging butt plug and a strapless strap-on. Curved slightly to meet the needs of all body types, the Urge Dildo offers 6 long inches of insertable length and brings 5 inches of girth to the table. It’s made out of skin-safe silicone too, meaning it’s hypoallergenic, compatible with water-based lubes and also submersible. This bad boy features a wireless remote control that handles all 8 of its pleasurable power variations.

 

5. The Shane Diesel Suction Cup Dildo with Balls

If you’re in the market for something hyper-realistic and large enough to fill the hole in your heart, then look no further than the Shane Diesel Suction Cup Dildo. Not only does it feature a pair of soft, textured balls that are molded to look and feel exactly like the famous porn star’s, but it also vibrates at various speeds and intensity levels to keep you cumming back for more. And with additional texturization on the shaft, a bulbous tip, and a suction cup base, there’s no limit to the things you could do to yourself or others with this thing. Remote controlled and crafted out of skin-safe PVC, the SD dildo even comes with an autographed picture as a bonus libation.

 

5 Tips for Picking Out/Using a Vibrating Dildo

Don’t take my word for it. Skim through the following tips and tricks to make sure you’re getting the most bang for your buck:

  1. Double check that you nor your partner have any skin sensitivities or allergies to certain materials, and then stay away from sex toys that contain those materials.
  2. Ensure you have enough personal lubricant on hand that’s compatible with the materials of your vibrating dildo and with you/your partner’s skin type.
  3. Consider whether you have the time and money to proper clean and store your new plaything.
  4. If provided, always register your toy’s warranty within the first 30 days of ownership to avoid an expensive disappointment.
  5. Make a budget for this purchase before you go shopping but remember that your financial limitations should be somewhat flexible to account for surprises, accessories, and shipping (where applicable).

As always, take the high road when shopping for a new vibrating dildo. Only buy your supply from a reputable dealer who offers discreet billing, private shipping, and reliable customer service.

One Final Word

It doesn’t take a genius to pick out a good dildo vibrator. After all, we’ve been naturally crafting our own versions since the beginning of time. Having finally entered the era of high-end sex toys, it’s time that you start shopping like an expert. And if we all raise the bar like this, then the world’s sex toy manufacturers will have no choice but to provide us with even better stuff. Either way, there’s likely already a vibrating dildo out there that’s perfect for you. I hope I’ve helped you track it down.

Reviews Of The Top 5 Best Rated Silicone Dildos On The Market In 2019

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To fully understand what a silicone dildo is (and isn’t), you first have to know what a standard dildo is. Dildos are simply a category of handheld self-pleasure devices that gets used by both men and women to generate a wide variety of sensations to the genitals during sexual intercourse and/or masturbation. A dildo is not, however, a random shaft-like object from around your house. So, while the popular meme says, “Anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough,” that’s not exactly true.

When it comes to silicone dildos, the name pretty much sums it up. Silicone dildos are nothing more than your standard legitimate dildo, but they’re made from one of the best materials on the planet. As a wholly skin-safe, hypoallergenic option, high-grade silicone gets wrapped around the core of the world’s most luxurious dildos to create a silky-smooth finish that works wonders with all body types. Best of all, silicone dildos are usually water-resistant, extremely durable, friendly with any water-based lube in your collection.

Furthermore, that swanky material make-up is not the only worthwhile feature on today’s top silicone dongs. Most of them still have the same great features that you know and love – realistic shapes, lifelike detailing, etc. In fact, the main difference is not in the overall look or functionality of this option at all. Silicone dildos stand apart because they’re naturally better performers than the PVC, TPE, or even glass counterparts.

Top quality or not, it’s also important to realize that silicone dildos are not all made the same. The variant sizes, shapes and qualities of the devices available can leave the average consumer overwhelmed, frustrated and broke. Being well-versed in your options is crucial, but that starts with gaining an appreciation for the popularity of this innovative, body-safe sex toy that we call the silicone dildo.

The Top 5 Advantages of Using Silicone Dildos

In ancient times, people would pleasure themselves with whatever object they could get their hands on. Archaeologists recently unearthed thousands of makeshift dildos and male masturbation devices from the soil beneath countless European cities. As it turns out, we’ve all be perverts for a lot longer than we thought. Fortunately, that collective characteristic has lead us to develop some pretty amazing alternatives to the stone and stale bread used back in the day.

Contemporary sex toys are swanky, well-made pleasure tools that have features we could only fantasize about in ancient times. Thanks to the advancements in our technology, today’s best silicone dildos offer a whole host of advantages to the average person’s sex life, including but not limited to the following 5:

  • Body Safe Sexual Pleasure

It’s one thing you derive your sexual pleasure from an inanimate object, but it’s another to enjoy those sensations without having to worry about skin irritation or allergic reactions. So, while cucumbers get the job done and are generally considered great for the complexion, it’s probably not a good idea to use one as a dildo if you’re concerned about your health. Silicone dildos offer a safe and sensual alternative to makeshift masturbation models, and best of all they don’t cause a rash or reaction regardless of the skin you’re in.

  • Long-Lasting Love Making

Another great thing about silicone dildos in particular is the fact that they tend to outlast every other sex toy on the market, especially those made from materials such as TPE, PVC, polycarbonate or elastomer. Athough those materials are relatively sturdy and typically just as skin-safe, silicone dildos have innate properties which make them far more durable – a terrific quality for a sex toy that’s intended to be used aggressively for several years. And in many cases, manufacturers who sell silicone sex toys even offer a warranty.

  • Low Maintenance Ownership

Being the proud owner of a brand-new silicone dildo gives you instant bragging rights. Not only are you holding one of the best sex toys in the business but you’re also using a device that’s beyond easy to clean and maintain (for most people). Silicone dildos require very little attention to keep them in top working condition, as opposed to those alternative patented materials available that sometimes require special supplies for clean-up. As the standard for sex toy craftsmanship, silicone needs little more than a quick rinse under water to remain sterile and sexy for many years to come.

  • Water-Friendly Fuck Fests

Because silicone is a non-porous material, it can be taken into the bath, shower, pool or hot tub at any time without sustaining damage. Sex toys and dildos that are made from silicone work amazing with a good water-based personal lubricant too. Unless specified otherwise by the manufacturer (which is extremely rare), silicone dongs are waterproof/submersible by default. The only exception: Silicone dildos with electronic components.

  • Versatile for Vaginal or Anal

Due to the extremely skin-friendly properties of silicone, dildos made from it can be used in a wide variety of ways. What do I mean by that? I mean that silicone dildos are safe for use either vaginally or anally. As long as you properly clean things up before switching holes, there’s no reason why that silicone dildo you’re considering can’t serve dual roles. Just be sure to use the right kind of water-based lube for best results.

Thanks to the industry’s much-needed improvements to production standards, contemporary silicone dildos are playing a significant role in making marital aids less taboo. In fact, silicone dongs have been openly discussed on public broadcasts and in printed media for several decades now. You’re the only one who hasn’t heard of these things. Soccer moms are selling them as a side hustle and you’re still trying to figure out why they’re so popular. Shame on you.

I’d give you a break if I knew you’d shop for your first (or next) silicone dildo with a good head on your shoulders. Unfortunately, many people select their sex toys without the proper amount of due diligence, which is one of the reasons why the industry has such a hard time getting the word out about top-notch models. Everyone assumes they’re all made the same, but we couldn’t be more wrong and we can’t form an educated opinion unless we’re willing to do the research.

The Top 5 Things to Look for in a Good Silicone Dildo

Today’s sex toy market is not only huge but it’s also quite the circus for someone who doesn’t know how to shop for this particular item. The only way you’ll ever find the silicone dildo that’s right for you and/or your partner is to search like you mean it. Don’t let those clever marketers get one over on you. Use the following guidelines to steer yourself in the right direction.

Below are the top 5 things you should look at or consider when shopping for a good silicone dildo:

  1. The Size

First things first, always check out the size of the silicone dildo in your shopping cart. These bad boys come in a surprisingly wide range of sizes, from extremely large and girthy to laughably small and thin. Depending on what you need, you should select the silicone dong based primarily on its dimensions, as the overall measurements of any sex toy will determine how much pleasure you/your partner get out of it. Understand that the total length and insertable length are two different things. And of course, never ignore the numbers regarding width (girth), especially if you’re new to sex toy play or intending to use your dildo both vaginally and anally.

  1. The Shape

Secondly, but just as importantly as size, the shape of that silicone dildo in your hand will play a huge role in how it feels going inside you and/or your partner. You’ll find that there are a large number of different shapes to choose from, including curved models that are made specifically to target the user’s g-spot or p-spot. Choosing the ideal shape of your next silicone dildo is easier than you think, too. Just consider the body types and intentions of the people involved and you should be able to pinpoint the perfect plaything rather quickly.

  1. The Realism (Or Lack Thereof)

Keep in mind that good silicone dildos don’t always look like a human penis. In fact, some of the best silicone dongs on the planet are made to resemble anything but a real dick. And while you might think that such products wouldn’t sell or produce sexual pleasure, it turns out that orgasm can be reached by more than just a natural penile shaft. On the other hand, there’s something to be said about a silicone dildo that looks exactly like a throbbing cock – slightly curved shaft, protruding veins, bulbous head, etc. Just be sure that the realism is on point with what you and/or your partner are desiring and nobody gets their feelings hurt.

  1. The Features

When it comes to shopping for a good silicone dildo, the features cannot be ignored. You might assume that because silicone dongs are automatically considered top-notch their accompanying features will be equally as impressive, but that’s not always the case. Not only do the features vary from maker to maker but so does the quality thereof. Select a dildo with features that work well with your sex life, skin type and existing sex toy collection. If all else fails and you can’t find a dong with all the features you need, opt for something simple and use accessories to do the rest.

  1. The Manufacturer

The people who make your favorite silicone sex toys put their stamp of approval on every product they sell, which means that even the lower-quality toys have someone backing their existence. The simple fact that a sex toy is made from a well-known manufacturer isn’t enough to buy it. In fact, modern-day sex toy makers utilize some of the cleverest ploys to get your money. Instead, purchase your next silicone dildo based on the manufacturer’s overall reputation and their willingness to provide you with some sort of warranty or quality guarantee on their products.

NOTE: Some manufacturers have started creating silicone dildos and other sex toys that are compatible with one another, even across brand platforms (Fleshlight and Kiiroo, for example).

No matter what you decide or how you come to that conclusion, it’s vital that you at least use the aforementioned guidelines to point you in the right direction. Keep in mind that today’s marketers are extremely crafty. You may think you know what to get, but you could be sorely mistaken if you don’t shop smart (or have a few recommendations to start out with).

Top 5 Best Silicone Dildos to Consider:

Appreciating the value of silicone dildos and knowing how to shop for them is only half the battle. You’re still up against thousands of different models with features that seem eerily similar to one another and prices to match. It’s rough out there, so a few little suggestions can go an awfully long way for the average Joe. With that said, here are what I consider to be the top five best silicone dildos on the market right now:

1. The Vixen Johnny VixSkin Realistic Dildo

This 7-inch long, 5.75-inch wide monstrosity may look intimidating at first, but its user-friendly features break the ice (and the hymen) almost immediately. Ultra-realistic with some of the best detailing the industry has ever seen, the award-winning Vixen Johnny uses a combination of patented VixSkin silicone and a solid inner core to create a sensation that feels exactly like the real thing. And with a pair of soft balls plus a suction cup on the base, this bad boy is also harness compatible and suitable for both anal and vaginal penetration.

 

 

 

2. The Vixen Maverick VixSkin Realistic Dildo

Another model from the vivacious Vixen folks, the Maverick is an example of how two similar products can have such different features. Although this one has the same realistic appearance as its counterpart above, the Maverick offers slightly more length and girth but doesn’t feature the suction cup case. Still harness compatible and equally easy to use, clean and maintain, this silky-smooth “platinum silicone” VixSkin dildo features an extra steep curve, a larger bulbous head and the same dual core you know and love from the Vixen brand.

 

 

 

3. The Rainbow Curved Suction Cup Dildo

Suction cup dongs may be relatively commonplace, but rainbow-colored dildos with a surprisingly unique shape are not. This cute and whimsical looking dong features a wavy shaft that leads all the way down to its conveniently designed and harness-friendly base. Measuring a generous 6.5 inches in insertable length with 4.75 inches in girth to go around, the Rainbow Curved Suction Cup Dildo makes an amazing gift and an even more amazing addition to any silicone sex toy collection.

 

 

 

4. The Desire Luxury Weighted Dildo

There’s just something special about a curved, silicone dildo that has a comfortable 4-inch circumference and a 5-inch insertable length. Made for practically any body type on the planet, the Desire Luxury Weighed Dildo provides a firm massage on a targeted area, whether that be your g-spot or p-spot. Furthermore, it features one bulged end and one slimmer end for easy customization. Submersible and sexy, this hot little number even has an ergonomic shape to help keep your grip game strong.

5. The Clone-a-Willy Kit

Tired of dealing with whatever kind of cock the industry thinks you’ll like? Have someone special in mind who possesses the perfect penis? Well now, you can mold their magic wand in the comfort of your own home using the Clone-a-Willy Kit. And while that may sound like an enormous undertaking, the manufacturer has gone above and beyond to make the process as easy as 1-2-3. Using a completely organic and skin-safe recipe containing algae-based molding powder and platinum-cure silicone, this bad mamma-jamma even comes with an insertable vibrator just in case you’re feeling froggy when you’re done. NOTE: It takes about 24 hours for the mold to set up.

5 Tips for Picking Out/Using a Silicone Dildo

Don’t take my word for any of this. Do your homework by skimming through the following tips and tricks. After countless years of fervent sex and masturbation, here are the 5 things I think everyone needs to know before spending any money:

  1. Double check that you nor your partner have any skin sensitivities or allergies to certain materials, and then stay away from sex toys that contain those materials.
  2. Ensure you have enough water-based personal lubricant on hand.
  3. Consider whether you have the time and money to properly clean and store your new silicone dildo.
  4. If provided, always register your toy’s warranty within the first 30 days of ownership to avoid an expensive disappointment.
  5. Make a budget for this purchase before you go shopping but remember that your financial limitations should be somewhat flexible to account for surprises, accessories, and shipping (where applicable).

As always, take the high road when selecting a new silicone dildo. Only buy your supply from a reputable dealer that offers discreet billing, private shipping, encrypted websites and reliable customer service.

One Final Word

We’ve known what we wanted since the beginning of time, we just haven’t had the tools or knowledge to craft it until now. Having finally entered the era of high-end sex toys, it’s time for us to start shopping like the erotica experts we all want to be. There’s likely already a silicone dildo out there waiting for you. It’s just a matter of tracking it down, so stop reading and get to work.

Reviews Of The Top 10 Best Rated Vibrators For Women

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There’s nothing better than shutting the door, lighting some candles, and flicking your bean with a bad ass vibrator. Ok, so the candles aren’t necessary, but a well-made vibrator certainly is. You can always fingerbang yourself into oblivion like an old-school pervert, but arthritis isn’t sexy and let’s face, that shit gets old fast. A good vibrator can keep the juices flowing for a lot longer, plus you don’t ever have to stop because your hands are cramping up. What a wonderful time to be alive.

In a world filled with sex toys geared specifically towards men, it’s nice to see manufacturers looking out for the ladies. However, there are so many options out there these days that it’s often difficult to find the right one. You may not need any help busting a righteous nut, but you probably need some help discovering the toys that will get you there. If so, keep reading.

The Industry’s Cream of the Crop: The Top 10 Best Vibrator Brands In 2019:

The above characteristics apply to every toy on the market, so run through them like a checklist before adding anything to your shopping cart. Smart buyers know how to read between the lines and separate the bullshit from the best. At the end of the day, don’t get pressured into wasting your money on a vibrator just because it seems good enough for the time being. A great toy will become your best friend, or at least it should; so, choose wisely and start your search with the top 10 vibrators listed below.

NOTE: These vibrating sex toys are listed in no specific order, so don’t go judging them based on the position they’re in.

1. OhMiBod Fuse

This thing is by far the most high-tech vibrator you’ll find, not to mention it’s the most expensive toy on this list. However, you definitely get your money’s worth with it. You see, the Kiiroo brand is known for making toys that are compatible with one other, and the OhMiBod Fuse is their shining example. It’s not only perfect for use with other toys in the brand’s lineup (like the Onyx or Pearl), but it can also be used with the Fleshlight Launch (and if you don’t know what that is, you better learn). Regardless of its high-end composition and easy-to-use interface, it’s relatively discrete and portable, making it perfect for travel or at-home pleasure.

With Bluetooth connectivity, the OhMiBod Fuse runs its dual-stim vibrating motors using two-way communication for long-distance simultaneous sex. Its appearance is beyond attractive, which surprisingly doesn’t take away from its effectiveness one bit. The controls are back-lit by LED lights, and the entire toy is covered by a soft, skin-safe black silicone that houses a bi-directional interface designed to hit all your sweet spots like a pro using touch-sensitive controls. If we’re talking about the future of fucking, the future is now.

 

 

 

 

 

2.The We-Vibe Sync

This wonderful and waterproof vibrator is setting the bar high for other female toys in the industry and is nearly as high-tech as the first toy mentioned here. Made using high-end, medical grade silicone, it’s silky, smooth, and oh so sexy. Not only that, but it is also ran using a remote control that easily adjusts the various vibe intensities and speeds. And if that weren’t enough, the whole shebang comes with a free We-Connect app for your smart device, meaning you can link this bad boy up to compatible toy and have a pants party with anyone you choose.

The Sync is also rechargeable, giving you the opportunity to use it and reuse it without making a million trips to the store for replacement batteries. On top of it all, this toy is customizable to the shape of your body while also being rather compact and discrete. Coming in a variety of adorable colors, the We-Vibe is very cute too, with attractive components that can pleasure the external and internal erogenous zones of both your vag and asshole. Just make sure you clean it off before you swap it out or you’ll be sorry. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

 

 

 

3. The Clone-A-Willy

As another waterproof sex toy, the Clone-A-Willy isn’t very high-tech but it’s still pretty amazing. Designed to resemble the shape and size of your favorite lover, it was originally invented as a realistic prop for Hollywood movie sets, making this show stopper the perfect combination of art and arousal. Using any size dick you can find, the standard kit comes with everything you need to expertly mold your own toy in 24 hours or less. The best part is that you can add your own kick of color or keep it real with skin-like tones that make it even more lifelike.

As if that weren’t impressive enough, this DIY fuck stick includes its own 5 ¼-inch vibrator that you can insert into the mold (or not). So basically, you make your own toy and choose how you use it – as a standard dildo or as a homemade vibrator. It puts an end to men complaining about their women using sex toys to pleasure themselves, and it’s more discrete and affordable than it sounds. The only issue is that’s not rechargeable and requires batteries, but you probably have a dozen lying around the house anyway.

 

 

 

 

4. We-Vibe Nova

As remarkable as it is rechargeable, the Nova is yet another female vibrator brought to you by the wonderful wizards at We-Vibe. It’s designed to expertly combine internal and external stimulation to provide an all-inclusive sensation that attacks your g-spot and clitoris simultaneously. The unique shape and size of this thing are perhaps the best features, with ergonomics that allow it to stay put even if you juke and jive all over the bed. Oh yeah, it’s rechargeable too, but that’s just where the fun begins.

Without the need for a separate remote control, the Nova houses its interface on the shaft of the toy which allows you or your partner to manipulate the various vibe functions with one hand. And since it’s rather attractive and feminine looking, this toy certainly gets our vote as one of best bangs for your buck. It’s also waterproof like the other toys on this list and is compatible with that same We-Connect app for your smart device which allows for long-distance debauchery. And with a finger loop between the shaft and the controls, it’s super easy to hold on to even if you get carried away.

 

 

 

 

5. Lelo Hula Beads

This unique vibrator takes internal pleasure to a whole new level. Put simply, it shakes, rattles, and rolls your clitoris and labia until you squirt. Made by the popular Lelo brand, the Hula Beads are self-contained pleasure balls that are completely rechargeable and impressively compact. The contraption comes with a remote control too, allowing you to customize the sensations derived from its powerful motor.

The best part about this particular toy is that it can be worn internally as a discrete tool for self-pleasure. Not only is it waterproof, but it also features a safety string on the bottom to help keep it from traveling to your nether regions. And although it’s not the most attractive toy on the market these days, it’s certainly one of the finest. Made from high-quality silicone, it’s both flexible and durable while remaining soft and silky.

 

 

 

 

 

6. The Muse

First and foremost, the Muse is probably the cutest vibrator on this list. It looks like a little rabbit – a novelty that’s become extremely popular in the female sex toy division. Dainty yet durable, this compact device is operated by commercial batteries but has an extended lifespan. It also has 10 different vibe settings that can be used together or adjusted to create unique and customized a pulse rhythm. Best yet, it features an on-device control interface that’s perfect for both solo play and couple’s “therapy.”

Water-resistant toys seem to be all the rage these days, and the Muse is no exception. Not only that, but the size is rather convenient as well, measuring only a few inches and able to fit into the palm of most women’s hands. It also features LED accent lights for your deepest, darkest fantasies, and although it’s not designed for internal stimulation or penetration, you’ll still be amused by its external capabilities.

 

 

 

 

7. The Stronic Eins

While this thing may look relatively unimpressive at first glance, it’s important to remember how appearances aren’t everything. The Stronic Eins, made by Fun Factory, resembles an old-school vibrator but has new-school features. For example, the updated motor housed inside the hollow shaft moves up and down to create a hyper-realistic sensation that mimics thrust. Moreover, the entire contraption is waterproof, rechargeable, and programmable for hands-free operation.

Featuring 4 ½ inches of fun, this top contender cycles through 10 different vibe functions and has a slightly curved shape for boosted ergonomics. Designed to reach the g-spot quickly and easily, the skin-soft silicone shaft measures about 1 ½ inches in diameter, making it feel a lot like a fat human cock (if that fat human cock could vibrate on command, that is).

 

 

 

 

8. Lelo Insignia Soraya

Known in the industry as “the ultimate rabbit,” the Soraya stimulates internally while minding the clitoris like a dutiful nanny. Silky and luxurious, its skin-safe silicone body is only the beginning of its impressive features. With a set of uniquely positioned controls, it’s ideal for left or right-handed women, solo artists, or couples.

The waterproof and rechargeable interface is impressive as well, not to mention it comes with a limited manufacturer’s warranty. With a chrome finish and a swanky handle loop, the various vibration settings are easily manipulated while allowing you to look sexy doing it. Although it’s not the high-tech monstrosity some women are used to, it’s certainly worthy of mention.

 

 

 

 

 

9. The Greedy Girl

By far the toy with the most vibrational functions, the 50 Shades of Grey Greedy Girl features 36 different modes and 15 distinct speeds from its uber-powerful motors. Looking just as luxurious as one would expect, the thick and flexible shaft is made from medical-grade silicone and has pliable tendrils that tickle the clit.

Its dimensions are impressive as well, with about 5 ½ inches of length and 2 inches of girth. The rechargeable battery lasts for an hour or more and the entire thing can be submerged in water without damaging the toy’s integrity. Certainly a good one for the books, the Greedy Girl brings a whole new meaning to erotic indulgence.

 

 

 

 

10. The Womanizer W500

Last but not least is this noteworthy vibrator, complete with a Swarovski crystal button and a unique shape that’s perfectly suited for handheld control. As a clitoral sucker, this hollow silicone tipped toy also features 8 separate vibe speeds to whirl your pearl into submission, although less powerful than its W100 predecessor.

Furthermore, it’s completely rechargeable via USB and water-resistant too, but the manufacturer doesn’t suggest submerging it for long periods of time. However, the new and improved Womanizer lasts for a whopping 240 minutes of playtime (that’s 4 hours for you math whizzes out there). With a replacement head and a storage bag included, it’s compact, convenient, and discrete – perfect for external orgasms on the run, no lube required.

 

 

 

 

Tips On Choosing The Top Vibrator Brand On The Market

Unfortunately, some women fall victim to pretty designs or clever marketing and end up missing out on the goods stuff. That shit ends here. All a lady really needs is a little guidance to find the best toys in the biz, and we’re not talking about some bullshit affiliate slanging wangs to make a quick buck. If an honest man can’t be found, then at least an honest review of the industry’s top vibrators should be available. Have no fear; the truth begins here.

So, if you’re picky about what punches your pussy, then listen up. Although many of the toys on the market look and function similarly, none of them are exactly the same. There’s always someone competing to get all up in that, so make the manufacturer work for your money, honey. You probably know what you want, so get out there and find it. And even if you don’t know what’s best, the following guidelines will help you track it down like a predator in the wilderness. Happy hunting!

Pussy Probing Properties: The Top Six for Your Fake Dicks

As mentioned, it takes some skill and knowledge to find the best vibrator for your unique body. Just as no two ladies are the same, not all sex toys are created equally. With that said, study these probe-worthy properties to discover the dick of your dreams (BONUS: It will still be there in the morning and it won’t ask you to make it a sandwich):

Size Matters

Guys with tiny cocks will have you believing that size doesn’t matter or that it’s the motion in the ocean that hits the spot. Ok, so if size doesn’t matter then why do vibrators come in a variety of lengths and widths? Obviously, women know more about what they desire than men do, but that’s not a news flash.

The size of the vibrator you choose is actually more important than its bells and whistles because, quite frankly, it won’t matter what the toy does if you can’t fit it between your legs. A properly proportioned penis is ideal whether it’s fake or not, so pay close attention to the toy’s dimensions. Keep in mind that some of the vibrators out there can fluctuate in size, making them a one-size-fits-all option that makes men (and all other toys) pretty much obsolete.

Stay in Shape

Ladies, you all know how important it is to have a killer shape, and vibrators are no different. The ergonomics of the toy you choose should be just as sexy as you are. Whether you’re into getting a straight shot up the glory hole or a dual massage that tickles both sides of your bean, a good vibe will float the boat properly by being the ideal shape for a woman’s body.

Remember that there are numerous different shapes out there, from the straight or curved handheld models, to the rabbit-eared and insertable bullets. It all depends on how you plan to use it, what rocks your socks the best, and how discrete you need it to be. And while bullets are notoriously hard to detect, they usually don’t give you the internal/external sensations that other models do. So, choose the shape (and size) of your toys wisely and keep in mind that you’ll probably want to explore a bit once you get the party started.

Fuckable Features

Each toy on the modern market has its own set of features, designed specifically to tease the clitoris, or go spelunking inside the vaginal canal (or both). Some have numerous vibratory functions with varying speeds and intensities, while others are relatively simple and feature only a few different settings. The question is: how much variety do you want from your vibrator?

Mind you, buying a vibrator with plenty of bells and whistles will save you time and money in the end, especially if you like to switch things up from time to time. There are even some toys out there that link to online porn content, VR devices, or other sex toys for a rip-roaring play session by yourself or with an equally perverted partner. In short, the options are endless, so pay attention.

Material Girl

Now, it won’t matter how the toy is shaped or sized if it’s made from the wrong stuff, nor will the features be very impressive. Vibrator manufacturers are good at experimenting with materials, so think about what you want. Do you prefer something skin-like or a solid metallic feel? Do you have any allergies that may cause a rash if you use the wrong shit? Nobody thinks pussy bumps are cute, so carefully choose the material with which your toy is made.

For the most part, skin-safe and hypoallergenic silicone is your best bet. However, some of the other polymers used by popular toy makers are just as acceptable for a majority of women. This is especially true if you plan to use a condom with it, but then again doing so kind of defeats the purpose of using a fake dick to get off. The choice is yours but remember, it’s still ok to be a material girl in a material world.

The Price Is Right

While the price tag on the vibrators you like may play a significant role in whether you buy it or not, cost should never be a deal breaker. After all, a mind-blowing nut is pretty much priceless and no partner on Earth is going to deliver the goods on their own. Even fantastic lovers use sex toys to get the job done, so give him or her the good shit and let the toy do its thing.

The average high-quality female vibrator runs between $100-$300, depending on several factors. Be prepared to make an investment in your pussy power, as cheap toys tend to break easily, malfunction quickly, or simply leave much to be desired. In other words, if you’re gonna go, go all out. Chances are, you won’t regret it.

As for you deal hunters and coupon lovers out there, save some cash by getting your toy when there’s a discount available. Many manufacturers host sales numerous times per year. So, if you insist on being a cheapskate, then patience is certainly a virtue here. Oh, and one more thing: keep even more of your cheddar by opting for a rechargeable toy. After all, everyone knows what you’re doing when you put 13 boxes of batteries on the conveyer belt.

Appearances Aren’t Everything

How many times have you made excuses for an unattractive lover simply because they had a roadmap to your g-spot? The lesson is simple: appearances don’t always matter if the juice is worth the squeeze. In other words, don’t judge a book by its cover. Ugly or weird-looking toys are often the best option, while some of those super cute vibrators do little more than look pretty as they collect dust in your underwear drawer.

On the other hand, well-known and highly respected sex toy brands will offer the best of both worlds. Look for a toy that’s the complete package – a trifecta of perfection: high-quality, feature fantastic, and attractive. Those vibrators do exist, it just may take some hunting and/or a bit of an investment to make it your own. For once, don’t shop solely with your eyes. Let your pussy do some of the talking.

Reviews Of The Top Rated Sex Wedge Pillows On The Market In 2019

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There’s just something unattractive about saying “Oh my God, I think I broke my hip” during sex. Talk about a mood killer. Making love can be a lot of fun, but things can take a turn for the worst if your body’s not as adventurous as your mind. It’s not shameful to need a little support either. After all, even the most famous porn stars whip a sex pillow out from time to time.

So, what on Earth is a sex pillow and why in hell would you want to spend your money on one? Well, those are two questions that are easy to answer. First of all, a sex pillow is an ergonomic cushion or wedge that’s made specifically to support the weight of the average human body so that it can achieve and hold various positions for either sexual encounters or massage. And while spending your hard-earned cash on one doesn’t seem responsible at first, wait until you consider this:

They say love is a battlefield, but that may be truer than we all realize. According to experts, a large percentage of emergency room visits are due to, or suspected to be due to, sexually related injuries. Humiliated patients may not always admit to how they sustained their injuries, but they still report things like sprains, pulled muscles, pinched nerves, broken bones, dislocated joints and so on. Who knew sex could be such a dangerous thing?

Hey, when we’re in the heat of the moment, it’s tough to tell whether we’ve pushed ourselves passed the limit. Most often, we don’t discover our battle wounds until longer afterwards. By that time, we’re more likely to blame the pain on our age or on the kinkiness of the sex. Truth be told, it’s likely due to something far simpler – the position of your body.

A good sex pillow can change the game, allowing you to last longer, thrust stronger and pleasure your partner in new and exciting ways. The right one can reduce fatigue and raise your expectations while increasing the effectiveness of any stamina training products you’ve used. Unfortunately, everyone with a set of genitals knows this and thus the modern-day market is stuffed to the rafters with options. So, how does a newbie navigate through the riffraff? I’m glad you asked.

5 Things to Know Before Buying a Sex Pillow

Sex pillows are a dime a dozen, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some amazing ones available. Unfortunately, many people set out in search for the perfect product with no prior knowledge of anything except which features to look for. While those things are very important, let’s be honest here. It’s also vital that you consider a few things about yourself.

The following are 5 things you need to know before ever looking at the first sex pillow:

  1. Know What You Want

Although knowing what you want is one of the easiest things to do, it’s not always as simple to define it. On top of that, it’s not always possible to find the things you want, even if you look everywhere. Understanding your wants and how they measure up to the industry is essential. In other words, it’s ok to be picky but don’t let your expectations get too high.

  1. Know What You Need

Your wants are one thing; your needs are another. What do you need from a good sex pillow? Does it need to transform into numerous shapes? Do you prefer a certain type of material? Have you spoken to your lover about his/her requirements? Until you do, and until you can answer those questions, it will be virtually impossible to narrow the search with any success.

  1. Know What Toys and/or Accessories You Use the Most

Speaking of important questions, did you know that some sex pillows have cut-outs, slots, pockets, or holes that are specially designed to fit your favorite toy? Although many are designed for only one or two types of toys, most are not affiliated with any sex toy brand and can therefore fit nearly anything available on today’s market. So, are you going back to edit your “Wants” list?

  1. Know Your Partner’s Weight

Another thing to consider is your partner’s weight, not to mention the combined weight of you both. Some pillows have limitations, while others do not. Don’t forget to check the specs before you buy. Overexerting the strength of a sex pillow may not be disastrous but it can certainly defeat the purpose of having one in the first place.

  1. Know How Much You Want to Spend

Last but not least, know your budget. The price of a sex pillow is not always indicative of its quality. Sticking with trusted brands is a smart idea if you don’t know where to look, but seasoned sex pillow users can branch out to other manufacturers as long as the product has the features they require. Either way you cut it, having a flexible budget can help you find exactly what you’re looking for.

Understand, my friends, that all sex pillows are not equal. You must proceed with a certain level of discernment because many manufacturers employ clever marketing schemes to lure unsuspecting consumers into a trap. As horny as you are right now, patience and diligence will pay off in the end.

5 Things to Look For In a Top Sex Pillow

All sex pillows may be different but that doesn’t change the fact that they all seem to look and perform the same. Still, some are obviously better than others. I say “obviously” because, once you know what to look for, the better products are easier to find. And since it’s impossible to try before you buy, it’s imperative that you use the following 5-point checklist instead.

  1. Shape

The shape of any sex pillow varies widely between brand, type and purpose. As one of the most important factors to consider, it’s typically the first thing people notice. However, the shape is for a specific purpose.

In general, sex pillows come in four basic forms: round, triangular, square and abstract. Each one is used differently, as such:

  • Round – Primarily for comfort during difficult positions
  • Triangular – Primarily for versatility, also called a “wedge”
  • Square – Primarily for achieving one or two specific positions
  • Abstract – Primarily a unique combination of other shapes

To figure out which shape would work best for you and/or your lover, try to think about your average love-making session. Ask yourself: Do I plan to use the pillow to continue in the same manner or do I want one to enhance my experience?

  1. Size

As important as it is, the pillow’s shape should not be the only thing you look at. Consider its size as well, especially as it relates to you and your partner’s body type. No matter what a stripper tells you, size DOES matter. Don’t get it twisted; not now, not ever.

Most pillows are designed to suit all body types, but that’s not true across the board. Extra large pillows may be difficult to use for smaller people, while compact pillows may not do enough for larger individuals. On top of that, the size of the pillow will also determine how and where you can store it. Bet you didn’t think about that one until now.

TIP: Look for a pillow that comes with a storage case at least. While the product itself may be difficult to hide, at least it will be protected by a durable material in the meantime.

  1. Durability

And since we’re talking about durability, we might as well mention the fact that a sex pillow’s resilience is extremely important. Look for the following four attributes to ensure you’ve snagged yourself a good one:

  • Stitching

Hand-stitching may cost you a little more, but at least the pillow won’t bust apart after you fuck on it one time. If all else fails, find a product that features strong threads and plenty of back-stitching.

  • Stuffing

High-quality sex pillows always have ultra-dense materials inside that resist denting and matting. Find something stuffed with foam, cotton or gel if you know what’s good for you.

  • Covering

Since the outer covering is what you and your partner will interact with the most, it needs to be as soft and plush as possible. Go for materials such as cotton, synthetic polyester, wool, nylon, velvet or a combination thereof.

TIP: Forget my advice if you or your lover has an allergy to any of the materials mentioned above.

  • Weight

The best sex pillows are often weighty, although there are some exceptions. This is because a heavily weighted product can usually withstand more pressure and tussling than a lightweight option.

  1. Weight Capacity

While we’re on the subject of weight, let’s discuss the importance of checking a sex pillow’s weight capacity. Most modern-day pillows are designed to support an average-sized person – someone between 150 and 200 pounds. However, there are many options available for those who weight more (or less) than the average Hoe.

Usually, a high-quality sex pillow will mention its weight limits on the label. However, there are no steadfast rules in this game. And since nobody wants to waste their money on a pillow that deflates as soon as pressure is applied, checking the weight capacity is priority numero uno.

As a general rule, smaller pillows don’t hold up well against larger, heavier people. Bigger pillows seem to suffice better, but they’re typically more difficult to manipulate in the heat of the moment. Laying the pillow on a hard surface may increase its weight capacity temporarily. Either way, it’s all about your intended uses. See why it’s important to “know” a few things before looking?

  1. Versatility

You see, no two people have sex in the same way (thank God). For that reason, the geniuses down at the sex pillow development lab decided that some of their products needed to be versatile enough to withstand the demands of the perverted. As a result, we now have pillows that can twist and transform into numerous shapes with the flick of our wrist.

Highly versatile sex pillows provide far more pleasure, flexibility, mobility and stamina than a rigid pillow that stays in only one or two positions. So, while a lot of people don’t necessarily achieve several positions during intercourse, having the option available is quite nice. After all, enhancing your sex life requires thinking outside the “box.”

Multi-purpose sex pillows are all the rage because of three main reasons:

  • They’re usually sized so that they can support people of varying weights and body types.
  • They’re typically shaped in such a way that they can be manipulated easily during sex, preventing awkward intermissions.
  • They can sometimes be folded down to a more compact size, allowing for easier and more discreet storage.

Bonus Features to Hunt Down

You may be done with the homework, but your journey has just begun. Along the way, don’t overlook a good sex pillow simply because it doesn’t have all the bells and whistles you’d like it to have. High-quality products are typically simple, with their best features speaking volumes for them.

On the other hand, try not to disregard all the amazing features available to you. So, never ignore bonus features like:

  • Toy holders
  • MP3 or smart device hookups
  • Removable and/or washable covers
  • Seamless openings

Remember that there are no rules and there is no right answer here. The sex toy industry is set up so that the consumer leads its development directly. In other words, manufacturers only make what they think you’ll like. If you can’t find something that suits your fancy, maybe the industry needs to hear your voice.

The Last Word

As daunting as it all may seem, finding a good sex pillow is not as difficult as you’re making it. As long as the product has decent stitching, dense stuffing, a cozy yet durable covering and fits the budget, you can rest assured that you’ve discovered a good one. Buy through the right source and save some money too, that way it won’t sting so bad if you accidentally make the wrong decision.

Reviews Of The Top 5 Most Realistic Dildos On The Market In 2021

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Dildos made with realism are what all modern-day sex toys aspire to be. They’re sleek, they’re sexy and they’re completely void of the annoying emotions that often accompany a real human being. On the other hand, they’re also a terrific tool for couple’s play, should you already be wearing a ball and chain.

Either way, owning a realistic dildo is all part of becoming a full-fledged pervert. Welcome to the club, boys and girls.

The Definition of a Realistic Dildo

Sometimes, you just need to screw yourself with something that resembles a real human penis. Regardless of your sexual orientation, lifelike dildos are a lot of fun to play with under the right circumstances.

And while those fantasy-based sex toys and dildos are great for their intended audiences, realistic dildos will always outlast the test of time and thus represent so much more than a horny, corny fad.

In fact, realistic dildos have been and probably always will be a staple in the well-rounded bedroom. Not only that, but they’ve remained among the top-selling sex toys of all time since their inception.

Lifelike dongs play a huge rule in modern-day society, plus they’re kind of amazing to have sex and/or masturbate with since we’re on the subject.

The best part about these particular sex toys is that they look, feel and perform much like an actual shlong, meaning they have a whole host of lifelike features that work in unison to create a better experience.

Don’t be surprised to find things like dual cores, flexibility, veins, balls, and pronounced heads (circumcised or otherwise).

You can even get some that squirt warm ejaculate on you when you finish, but that’s a story for another time, kids.

The Top 5 Advantages of Using The Most Realistic Dildos

As you can see, there are more dildo options than the average person knows what to do with.

However, between the glass ones, the metal ones, the double-ended ones and the silicone ones, there’s a characteristic that everybody loves in their dildo: Realism. And why does everyone go crazy when they stumble across a dildo that’s hyper-realistic? Because:

  1. Realistic Dildos Feel Like Actual Sex

There are so many people in this world who can’t get off with a sex toy because it looks and/or feels too unrealistic. The sheer thought of using a “toy” can make it impossible for certain types of people to reach orgasm.

Furthermore, those who enjoy watching the show (voyeurs) are much more likely to get a kick out of realistic dildos as opposed to the fantasy-based varieties (especially when there’s a lot of thrusting involved).

  1. Realistic Dildos Make A Terrific Toy for Couple’s Play

The right dildo will work wonders whether you’re alone or wit a partner, but realistic dildos play a unique role in the bedrooms of kinky couples everywhere.

The best models are not only compatible with harnesses and mounts but they’re also useful during online masturbation sessions featuring virtual reality.

So even if you’re in the middle of the hottest long-distance relationship of your life, a good realistic dildo can help keep things fresh and special if it’s used right. In fact, there’s even an option to mold your lover’s penis (Clone-A-Willy), but again, that’s for another time.

  1. Realistic Dildos Are Easy on the Skin

Although a handful of realistic dildo manufacturers still use potentially dangerous things such as latex, parabens and phthalates in their products, the majority of them craft their sex toys out of high-grade, skin-safe materials.

As such, the best realistic dildos on the market are made to match up with any skin type, including those that are susceptible to certain chemicals or allergens. And with the right lube accompaniment, your genitals might even get a boost of moisture.

  1. Realistic Dildos Are Good to Look At

When you’re in the middle of something hot and heavy, sometimes it helps to look down and see your sex toy resembling a live human shlong. Even so, when you haven’t yet reached your climax, a realistic looking dildo can sometimes be the ticket that gets the train moving.

Those who enjoy sleeping around might even be able to curb their appetites with a realistic dildo on hand. Just think of all the applications and possibilities of a fully detached dick that looks like the real thing.

  1. Realistic Dildos Are Versatile Sex Companions

With the right realistic dildo, you can check off almost every item on your bucket list. What do I mean by that?

Well for starters, most realistic dildos are made to be waterproof (or at least water resistant), not to mention the fact that all of them are ideal for both vaginal and anal play. Some of the best models are even travel friendly, or at least they come with a nice storage pouch for discretion.

You just can’t beat the best meat in town, even if that town is a million miles away.

Keep in mind, however, that none of the things I’ve talked about can be enjoyed unless you purchase yourself the best possible realistic dildo on the market.

And while said market is indeed flooded with hundreds of viable and initially appealing options, it’s impossible to find what you’re looking for if you don’t have a couple guidelines to get you there.

The Top 5 Things to Look for in The Best Realistic Dildo

Being sleazy isn’t always easy, nor is picking out the best realistic dildo for your unique lifestyle (and budget). Fortunately, realistic dildos aren’t nearly as expensive as they should be, or else millions of people all over the world wouldn’t currently own one (or five).

So, how did they get so lucky and whose dick do you have to suck to get your hands on a decent dildo?

Luckily for you, there will be no obligatory blowjobs given today in exchange for information. As a complimentary gift, here are the top five things to look at or consider when shopping for your first (or next) realistic dildo:

  1. The Size

As with anything that gets shoved deep inside your vagina or rectum, size matters. When it comes to realistic dildos, however, the only realistic thing is sometimes the look and feel of it.

That means you’ll most likely come across a few realistic dildos with out-of-this-world dimensions. It’s not uncommon to see dildos that measure several feet long and a few inches thick.

If that’s not what you’re interested in, I suggest paying close attention to the dimensions of the dildos you fancy, especially if they’re expensive or being used with a partner.

  1. The Shape

While realistic dildos are obviously shaped to resemble a real human penis, that’s not to say that the human penis isn’t a diverse organ in and of itself. With that said, it’s important to realize that your shape options are vast.

Some realistic dildos feature a curve while others are absolutely straight. Moreover, you can also choose between circumcised and uncircumcised penises if you’re into switching it up. Shape matters a lot with dongs, because shape determines how much pleasure and versatility you’ll enjoy with it.

  1. The Materials

The majority of modern-day sex toys are made out of high-end materials that are safe for all skin types. However, there are a few that contain potentially harmful or allergy-triggering things such as phthalates, parabens and latex.

Either way (and even if you use your dildo with a condom as so many people do), make sure it’s made out of a material that feels good and performs well with your body, not to mention with your existing lube stash.

Stick with things like silicone, TPE, PVC, polycarbonate, and/or elastomer on your realistic dildos if you know what’s good for you.

  1. The Features

Many of today’s best realistic dildos have features that are designed to enhance the experience through sensory stimulation, not just basic penetration.

So, aside from the impressive realism and super-soft materials that are commonly used, top-notch realistic dildos also have features such as balls, extended bases, suction cups, and/or harness compatibility.

Choose wisely though, because some of those features cancel out certain others (harness compatibility vs. balls, for example).

  1. The Manufacturer

Another thing to consider is the brand who made the realistic dildo you’re looking at.

It’s important because some manufacturers make sex toys that are compatible with others in their inventory, not to mention the fact that many of them are designed to work in tandem with certain accessories in the brand’s unique lineup. If you already own a bunch of add-ons, be sure your new dildo can join the team without any problems.

5 Amazing Top Realistic Dildos to Consider:

Picking out the perfect realistic dildo is no easy feat by any stretch of the imagination. Not only do we have hundreds of sex toy manufacturers to sift through, but each one of them makes a myriad of products that differ in some peculiar way from the competition.

It can be rough out there as a modern-day consumer, and the clever advertising campaigns don’t help matters one bit.

To make matters a little easier, here are what I believe to be the top 5 most amazing realistic dildos available on the market right now:

1. The King Cock Plus Dual Density 9-Inch Realistic Dildo with Balls

This massive, slightly curved dildo may look intimidating at first, but don’t let its overwhelming size fool you. He’s got style, he’s got grace, and he’s sure to give you a righteous O-face. Behold, the King Cock Plus Dual Density Realistic Dildo with Balls – a long name for a long dong, measuring 9 inches in total insertable length (but you don’t have to use it all if you don’t want to).

The lifelike detailing along its shaft and the suction cup on its end allow for a customizable experience, and the dual density core/bulbous head combo creates a sensation that’s hyper-realistic and exceptionally erotic every time.

2. The CyberSkin SuperThick Realistic Feel Dildo

As one of the best-made 12-inch realistic dildos on today’s shelves, this bad boy is crafted confidently by a well-respected manufacturer and features everything you’d want in a delectable and durable dong. With 11 inches of insertable length and an insanely satisfying 8 inches of total girth, the CyberSkin SuperThick dildo doesn’t mess around.

Perfect for professional perverts who like to engage in thrilling vaginal and/or anal sex, this thing may eventually replace some of the toys in your collection for reasons that have nothing to do with its size.

3. The CyberSkin Realistic Dildo with Balls

The CyberSkin Realistic Dildo with Balls is a sex toy made to last as much as it’s made to please. Crafted out of the brand’s patented skin-safe material, this masterpiece not only resembles a real human penis with its veins, pronounced head and hand-painted coloring, but it also moves and performs like the real thing too with its strong and robust dual-density core.

It measures 8 inches in total with 6 inches of that for insertion, plus it offers a stimulating 5 inches in circumference and is compatible with harnesses of all types.

4. The King Cock Extra Girthy Suction Cup Dildo with Balls

Lower your inhibitions and your body onto this superior dildo made with realism as its primary design concept. Crafted by none other than the famous King Cock company, this monstrosity features realistic veins, a naturally curved shaft, a dual core for a more lifelike sensation, texturized balls and a slightly tapered head for better insertion.

And speaking of insertion, you get over 9 inches with this bad boy, and the girth is on-point as well. How about 7.75 inches of soft PVC leading straight to the harness compatible suction cup on the bottom? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

5. The Clone-a-Willy ‘Create Your Own Penis’ Molding Kit

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any better, the sex toy industry went and invented a dildo you can mold after the shape of your favorite lover’s penis. More than that though, the mold is specially formulated to pick up every last detail of your partner’s shlong along the way, including any moles, wrinkles, veins or otherwise.

Available in numerous colors, the Clone-a-Willy Kit is easy to do, fun for couples and even comes with its own vibrating bullet should you choose to step your realistic dildo game up a little more.

Tips for Picking Out the Best Realistic Glass Dildo

Having some guidelines and even being given a few recommendations is only useful when you know yourself better than the marketers do. These people/companies spend millions of dollars to find out what you want to hear.

With your money on their mind more than Snoop in the ‘90s, most of them couldn’t care less if you end up liking the product or not. In most cases, there are no refunds or exchanges when it comes to sex toys. So, once they get your cash it’s curtains.

To prevent a catastrophic situation in your post check-out bedroom scene, here are the top five things you need to find out before selecting your favorite realistic dildo:

  • Your Skin Type

Find out whether you and/or your partner have any sensitivities or allergies to certain materials or chemicals before picking out any sex toy, especially lifelike dildos. Stay away from anything that’s known to cause irritation or pain and see a doctor immediately if any problems do develop (or get worse).

  • Your Lube Preference

While you’re at it, be sure you know what kind(s) of lube are in your collection. Note that not all lube types are compatible with all materials. For best results, stick with water-based lubrication as it’s user-friendly on everything.

  • Your Love Life

If you’re not the kind of person who frequently has kinky sex with realistic dildos then you obviously don’t need one that’s full of bells and whistles or made to take a beating. However, you’ll still benefit from buying a realistic dildo that’s durable and/or includes its own storage no matter what sort of love life you live.

  • Your Intentions

Sex toy manufacturers like to think they know what you’re planning to do with your new realistic dildo, but they can’t be certain. Either way, know your intentions before diving in. Are you looking for vaginal stimulation or anal masturbation? The answer will determine which dong you should choose.

  • Your Budget

Knowing how much money you intend to spend on this new realistic dildo of your can pay off big time in the end. You’ll be poked and prodded into spending more dough than you’re prepared for if you don’t have a budget in mind ahead of time. Just be sure to keep it flexible enough to account for pleasant surprises.

One Final Word

Realistic dildos are a soft, body-safe, sweet spot-attacking, virtually indestructible alternative to the fantasy dildos that don’t quite fit the bill.

With the right one, you and/or your partner can enjoy a completely new type of foreplay and masturbation without having to worry about skin sensitivities, allergies, lube preferences or fake phone numbers.

And since even the best realistic dildos are surprisingly affordable (and even more surprisingly easy to clean/maintain), it’s no wonder why millions of people in the modern world currently own one (or more).

Stick to the good materials and human-like features and you’ll never go wrong.

Reviews Of The Top 5 Best Rated Glass Dildos On The Market In 2019

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Dildos have been around for centuries. In fact, modern-day archaeologists recently uncovered mounds of homemade dildos and male masturbation devices buried deep in the ground beneath countless ancient cities. The best estimates give these prehistoric sex toys an age of about 5,000 years, but it has become increasingly apparent that our people have been seeking sexual gratification for much longer than that.

In an effort to assuage our insatiable appetites, we as a people have invented some pretty interesting things over the course of history. The unburied relics mentioned above included male masturbators made from stale bread and dildos fashioned out of chalk. Speculators shutter at the very thought of what else might be hidden just beneath their feet, but I find solace in the fact that we’ve come a long way since the embarrassing days of self-pleasure.

Now, we’re all privy to some pretty amazing products, including dildos that are no longer made out of common household items. From hyper-realistic, skin-like models to fantasy-based dildos crafted out of a single piece of metal, there’s no longer a concern about health, wealth or sexual wellbeing when modern-day sex toys are in the picture. And among the most popular of the bunch: Glass dildos, of course. What else, something made out of animal bones? That’s already been done before.

The Definition of a Glass Dildo

You probably know what a dildo is at this point, and it’s doubtful that you’re confused about what glass is. So just combine those two ideas and you’ll have a pretty good concept of what a glass dildo is all about. They function exactly the same way as a regular, realistic dildo but they’re made from a specialized material that changes the game tremendously. And while that may seem impossible for a product that’s been used and abused for millennia, it’s true that modern-day science has dipped its wick in the sexual health bucket many times.

As a result, we now have hypoallergenic glass dildos by the dozens and manufacturers don’t seem to be slowing down on production. Maybe it’s because they’re handsome and useful, maybe it’s because those qualities have made them popular, or perhaps it’s due to something else entirely. The way glass dildos get created is almost orgasmic in and of itself, although glass dildos are nothing more than glass-based sex toys that are designed to produce pleasure to the human body through penetration of the genitals. Sounds pretty basic, right?

Fans think that it’s the innate simplicity of a good glass dildo that makes it so highly sought-after. I believe it’s a combination of that and the fact that glass dildos generally outlast every other kind of sex toy available to us. Durable, safe, user-friendly and typically cost-effective, high-quality glass dildos stand as a testament to mankind’s perverted ingenuity if nothing else.

The Top 5 Advantages of Using Glass Dildos

At first glance, the elegant simplicity of a glass dildo may mislead some people into thinking it can’t do much in the way of producing intense sexual pleasure. Well, those people are not only wrong but they’re also about to miss out on some of the best sex of their lives. So, while certain sex toys definitely have their merits in the bedroom, glass dildos take things to a whole new level despite their relative straightforwardness.

According to the average user (and sexual health experts too), high-end glass dildos can provide least five amazingly satisfying advantages to your sex life:

  1. They Are (Usually) Rigid

Unlike the life-like dildos that feature materials which look, feel and function like real human skin, glass dildos not only look like sex toys but they also perform in a unique way. Usually unable to bend, glass dildos provide an extra hard sensation during vaginal and/or anal penetration – the likes of which could be extremely helpful when seeking the g-spot or p-spot of a squirmy lover. And that same innate rigidity of glass dildos makes them virtually indestructible too.

  1. They Work Well with All Skin Types

Dildos that are made to look, feel or function like a real human penis are amazing. However, the materials that manufacturers are forced to use to pull off the realism can be dangerous to some crotches. And while most of the best dildos on the planet are comprised of skin-safe stuff like silicone, PVC plastic, TPE or even stainless-steel, glass dildos offer the same hypoallergenic benefits while also being incredibly easy on the eyes (and the budget).

  1. They’re Compatible with All Lubes

Hypoallergenic and haute couture factors aside, glass dildos are also a convenient product to have on board when you’re dealing with conflicting lubrication preferences. Because glass dildos are compatible with all skin types as well as all personal lubrication types, it’s easy to incorporate these user-friendly sex toys into your bedroom routine without causing any allergic reactions, skin irritations or riots to break out.

  1. They Promote Temperature Play

Glass dildos have the unique ability to generate a pleasant surprise that’s not nearly as shocking as the surprise given by its stainless-steel or skin-like counterparts. Glass in innately responsive to temperature, meaning your glass dildo can perform gentle miracles during playtime. Heat it up or cool it down (as directed by the manufacturer, of course) and you’ll soon be experiencing things you never have before.

  1. They’re Often Harness Compatible

A good glass dildo will not only be friendly to your skin type and/or lube stash, it will also perform well under the pressure of your favorite harness or strap-on. Granted, skin-like dildos and stainless-steel models are often harness compatible too, but if you use one of those instead then you don’t get all the other advantages mentioned on this list. It’s a tough choice but somebody has to make it, champ.

Keep in mind, however, that none of the things I’ve talked about can be enjoyed unless you purchase yourself the best possible glass dildo on the market. And while said market is indeed flooded with hundreds of viable and initially appealing options, it’s impossible to find what you’re looking for if you don’t have a couple guidelines to get you there.

The Top 5 Things to Look for in a Good Glass Dildo

Picking out the perfect glass dildo is no easy feat by any stretch of the imagination. Not only do we have hundreds of sex toy manufacturers to sift through, but each one of them makes a myriad of products that differ in some peculiar way from the competition. It can be rough out there as a modern-day consumer, and the clever advertising campaigns don’t help matters one bit.

Studies have proven that the average person shops with their eyes, meaning they desire or purchase items based on how attractive they are presented. It’s a tale as old as time: Even in the Garden of Eden, wasting her inheritance on something that looked pretty. Not all that glitters is gold, little children. It’s time for you to start shopping like an adult.

To step off on the right foot with this new “adulting” concept, let’s begin with the top 5 things you should look at or consider when shopping for your first (or next) glass dildo:

  1. The Size

When it comes to selecting the perfect dildo, regardless of what it’s made out of, the size thereof matters quite a bit. It’s an especially important consideration depending on where/how you plan to use your new sex toy – meaning vaginally or anally. Larger glass dildos are typically marketed towards vaginally inclined users, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use one on your bum if the mood strikes. Just make sure the size is ideal for you and/or your partner’s body type and nobody gets hurt (unless they want to).

TIP: Be sure to know the difference between the dildo’s total length and insertable length, as they’re two completely different measurements with totally unique purposes.

  1. The Overall Shape

Your first thought when you hear the words “glass dildo” might be of a large shaft-like object in the shape of a human penis, but those days are over. No longer are sexually frustrated consumers restricted to dildos that look like dicks. These days, we’re allowed to choose between all sorts of things, and many of our options look nothing like the human anatomy. All you have to do is select the glass dildo which has a shape that’s suitable for your unique body. If that requires something futuristic that’s curved at a 20-degree angle, then so be it. The point is to pinpoint the sweet spot, after all.

  1. The General Features (and the Special Ones Too)

Exploring the features of any glass dildo is probably the most enjoyable part about shopping for one. The variety here is so diverse that it’s nearly impossible to compose myself while I write this. Just look for the kinds of features you’d like to have on an ordinary dildo – raised veins, undulating shaft, pronounced head, balls, etc. And if those things don’t do it for you, search for the things you prefer because they’re available. Keep in mind, however, that glass dildos should feature an extended base and/or secure grip for maximum user safety.

  1. The Manufacturing Quality

Now that you’re shopping like a grown-up, it’s important to understand that not all glass dildos are made the same. Not only are there countless manufacturers but there are also numerous manufacturing methods. Needless to say, some of the glass dildos out there show off their makers’ cut corners. Look for a glass dildo that doesn’t have any seams down the side of the shaft, and while you’re at it, check to see exactly what kind of material they used to form this “glass” monstrosity sitting before you.

  1. The Compatibility

As mentioned, some of the best glass dildos on the market are compatible with harnesses and strap-ons, allowing you and/or your lover to enjoy a little hands-free action from time to time. And while this is a relatively new concept in the glass dildo arena, it’s still possible to find one that’s right for your sex life. In fact, most of today’s top-notch glass dildos are made to be used in a group setting if nothing else.

5 Amazing Glass Dildos to Consider

Now that you know what to look for and what to avoid, it’s time to get down to business. Here are five incredible examples of what a glass dildo should be:

  1. The Icicles No. 24

This unique work of masturbatory art is a glass dildo lover’s wet dream. It’s 6 inches of elegant curves and stimulating veins, nubs and bumps that juice your genitals into quick submission while providing ample space for you/your partner to hold on tight. As one of the world’s best-selling sex toys, the Icicles No. 24 glass dildo has become a force to be reckoned with.

  1. The Tracey Cox SuperSex Glass Dildo Set

What’s better than one amazing glass dildo with the perfect shape, size and texture? Two amazing glass dildos with the perfect shape, size and texture, of course – only this pair fraternal, not identical. The pink twin is 7.25 inches long with a girth of 4.5 inches, while the second clear one is sized right at a thick 8.25 inches long with a girth of 3.75 inches. Both come packed together in a sex satin storage bag too. Ooh la la – the perfect gift for some kinky couple’s play.

  1. The Motörhead Bomber Black and Gold Rock Hard Glass Dildo

As unique as you and your partner are, it’s surprising that all your sex toys don’t look and perform like the Motörhead Bomber. Not only does this one-of-a-kind glass dildo include a detachable silicone display stand for when it’s not in use, but the damned thing also comes with a satin storage bag to boot. This thing is made out of temperature-responsive, shatter-resistant borosilicate glass and shaped like a missile, with a tapered tip and a bulbous body for maximum stimulation. A handsome 5 inches of insertable length and a 4.75-inch girth, the MB does not miss its target.

  1. The DOMINIX Deluxe Glass Dildo with Leather Flogger

This specimen is the perfect accessory for those who like to engage in a little BDSM with their sex toys. The Dominix Deluxe features a leather flogger on the end, but that’s just where the party gets started. It has an extremely bulbous tip (ideal for both vaginal and anal play) and it offers a series of vein-like ridges running down the shaft too. So, not only is this thing a terrific toy for dominance enthusiasts, it’s also ideal for regular perverts who just like their glass dildos to make a statement.

  1. The Icicles No. 7 Doubled-Ender

As if owning an amazingly crafted glass dildo wasn’t enough, this double-ended masterpiece provides twice as many stimulation options in one convenient package. Shaped realistically on one end and featuring a uniquely twisted shape on the other end, the Icicles No. 7 double dong is a dynamic duo of epic proportions. For example, it offers a superb 9.5 total inches of insertable length from either end; its girth is a generous 4.5 inches of submersible, hypoallergenic fun. You get the drift?

5 Tips for Picking Out the Perfect Glass Dildo

Having some guidelines and even being given a few recommendations is only useful when you know yourself better than the marketers do. Here are the top five things you need to find out before selecting your favorite glass dildo:

    1. Are you and/or your partner sensitive or allergic to any kind of material, including certain types of glass?
    2. Do you have a specific size you’re looking for? If so, why?
      1. Is this your first time using a dildo, glass or otherwise?
      2. Do you prefer clitoral stimulation over penetration?
      3. Are you afraid of being penetrated too deeply or stretching your orifice too much?
    3. What are you and/or your partner’s intentions with this new glass dildo of yours?
      1. Do you plan to use it vaginally, anally or both?
      2. Are you familiar with the rules of temperature play?
  1. How well will this new glass dildo become incorporated into your existing sex routine?
    1. Will you be playing with it by yourself, with a partner or as part of a group?
    2. How often do you think you’ll whip it out for sex or masturbation?
  2. Do you think you can afford it?
    1. Does it require any special cleaning or preservation supplies?
    2. Do you have the right kind of lube on hand already?

One Final Word

Glass dildos are a hypoallergenic, g-spot attacking, temperature-responsive, virtually indestructible alternative to the life-like dildos that don’t quite fit the bill. With the right one, you and/or your partner can enjoy a completely new type of foreplay and masturbation without having to worry about skin sensitivities, allergies or lube preferences. And since even the best glass dildos are surprisingly affordable and even more surprisingly easy to maintain, it’s no wonder why millions of people in the modern world currently own one – which is way better than having half the population carving fake dicks out of chalk, isn’t it?

Reviews Of The Top 5 Best Rated Steel (Metal) Dildos On The Market In 2021

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Having trouble picking out the perfect steel dildo? Well, you’re not alone. Although these particular sex toys are among the hottest selling product in the industry, most people have a hard time selecting the right one because they’re unaware of the options or simply uneducated about how to shop for one. That ends today with this comprehensive buyer’s guide. But first, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page.

The Definition of a Steel Dildo

Like always, to understand anything you must first understand the underlying factors and aspects associated with it. For that reason, knowing what a dildo is and isn’t can help you to better understand what I’m talking about here. Dildos, for the most part, are relatively simple self-pleasure devices used to generate orgasm in men and women during sex and/or masturbation. Often used for vaginal stimulation, a good dildo can also be used for anal penetration if your bedroom hygiene habits are on point.

As for steel dildos, those are still the same basic product only they’re made out of stainless-steel or another alloy instead of a material that’s made to look, feel and perform like real human skin. And while many people might question why anyone would want to shove a hard, metal rod up their hoo-ha, those who have used one already understand the value. By the time we’re done here, so will you.

Just know that steel dildos come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, with a huge selection of sexy features to go along with it. The main idea is for the dong you choose to stimulate the g-spot and/or p-spot of the user in question using a variety of ergonomic, body-safe features that lend themselves to the toy’s overall functionality. Anything short of that is just an embarrassment.

While getting your degree in steel dildos, it’s important to keep in mind that they’re not all made the same, even if the features of the ones you’re looking at are extremely similar. As such, the variant sizes, shapes and qualities of the devices available can leave the average consumer overwhelmed. Being well-versed in your options is crucial, but this search should start with you gaining an appreciation for the popularity of this innovative, body-safe sex toy.

The Top 3 Advantages of Using Steel Dildos

We haven’t always had the option of using a stainless-steel dildo, and that’s a pretty sad statement once you realize how cool these things can be. Our ancestors used to pleasure themselves with all sorts of things, but nothing ever came close to the stuff we have today. Modern steel dildos are a testament to our ingenuity, not to mention our understanding of the human body.

Thanks to advancements in science and a revived thirst for all things orgasmic, the modern-day sex toy industry is replete with options ranging in size, shape, color, functionality and compatibility. The market is finally set up to offer something to everyone, drastically improving sex lives one steel dildo at a time by providing the following 3 benefits:

  1. Temperature Play

Whether things are getting hot and heavy or cooling down for the night, it’s always a good idea to have something on hand that can satisfy everyone’s appetite, especially if that appetite requires temperature experimentation. Steel dildos are unique in that they allow you and/or your partner to stimulate the body’s many nerve endings through the introduction of heat or cold. As excellent conductors, these dildo types will probably always reign supreme in BDSM bedrooms and beyond.

  1. Rash-Free Romance

One of the greatest things about steel dildos is the hypoallergenic properties of the material itself. Regardless of the manufacturing quality thereof (for the most part), steel dildos are appropriate for all skin types and body shapes. Even those who suffer from allergies can get down with a steel dildo, and best of all they’re usually always compatible with whatever kind of personal lubricant you have lying around – not exactly something you can say about a silicone model.

  1. Low Maintenance Motivation

It’s not every day that you get to have sex or masturbate with a well-made marital aid before simply rolling over and going to sleep. And while some basic clean-up is always necessary, steel dildos allow users the opportunity to remain relaxed after orgasm. Because they’re non-porous and hypoallergenic, high-end steel dildos require little more than a quick rinse in the sink with some warm water and soap. If you’re lucky, you might even get one that comes with its own storage container too, but don’t hold you’re breath because that’s still 50/50 in today’s industry.

NOTE: When using your steel dildo for both anal and vaginal penetration, always take special precautions during cleaning to ensure all bacteria is washed from the toy’s surface.

Because the sex toy industry has done such an amazing job of integrating modern-day science with ancient desires, we now have an entire category of dildos that make playful, harmless things like BDSM, temperature play, couple’s masturbation and solo stimulation a lot more mainstream. High-end steel dongs have the potential to change the face of the sex toy industry if people learn how to pick them out and use them right. Unfortunately, there are no schools with this kind of info on the curriculum. This is as good as it gets.

The Top 5 Things to Look for in a Good Steel Dildo

The only way you’ll ever enjoy all the things that come with steel dildo ownership is to shop like you’ve got some sense. And the only way to shop with sensibility is to have some predetermined guidelines in place to help you out. You’re in luck, because I just so happen to have a set of those guidelines in my hands. Here they are, the top five things you need to look at or consider when searching for your first (or next) vibrating dildo:

  1. The Shape

Steel dildos come in numerous shapes, with shafts that undulate just like a real human penis to shafts that feature more fantastic and less realistic dimensions. Regardless of which shape you choose, it’s important that the dildo to be one that works well with your unique body type. So, while some people prefer a straight shaft for optimal pleasure, others need a nice curve to pinpoint their g-spot or p-spot. Keep in mind that steel dildos are NOT flexible in any way. Don’t know what shape would be best for you? Conduct a body structure test with one of your other sex toys before going shopping for a steel dildo.

  1. The Size

Don’t ignore this simple statement: There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all steel dildo. Couples-friendly, versatile, adjustable or otherwise, the overall size of this particular toy plays a huge role in how much fun you and/or your partner will have with it. A proportionate steel dong should be about the same size as your ideal penis or plaything, with just a few centimeters thrown in or taken out for good measure. As always, keep in mind that total length and insertable length are two different figures. And of course, never ignore the numbers regarding width (girth), especially if you’re new to sex toy play or intending to use your dildo both vaginally and anally.

  1. The Features

Just as the sizes and shapes are different, the features on each steel dildo out there will vary quite a bit. Even on toys that seem extremely similar, the features have subtle differences that you’ll want to pay attention to. Look at things like the dildo’s base, its handle (if any) and check for bonus features such as vibrations or other forms of high technology. Despite the plethora of options available at your horny little fingertips, try to only spend your money on steel dildos that have the features you and/or your partner will actually use.

  1. The Quality

It may be difficult for some people to determine the quality of the steel dildo in their shopping cart just by looking at it, but here are three things you can search for to find out what you need to know about any steel dildo in the world:

  • Seams – A good steel dildo will not have any seams running down the sides of the shaft and will instead be made out of a single piece of metal or soldered together flawlessly.
  • Weight – A good steel dildo will be weighted in such a way that it provides intense pressure to the erogenous zones when applied.
  • Ergonomics – A good steel dildo will be designed using industry-standard ergonomics, making it easy to hold and maneuver even when your hands are full of lube.

If the steel dildo you’re considering gets high marks on each of the categories mentioned above, it’s safe to say that its quality is up to par with your standards.

  1. The Maker

When it’s time to meet the maker, make sure it’s a good one. There are literally hundreds of sex toy manufacturers in the world, but only a handful of them are well-known. On top of that, some of the most recognizable names in the sex toy industry utilize clandestine marketing techniques to get your money. Select your brand affiliation with caution, and only do business with sex toy makers that offer things like discreet shipping, encrypted websites and quality guarantees on their products. Remember, even the most popular brand names in the industry have at least one toy that’s not worth its weight.

No matter what you decide or how you come to that conclusion, it’s vital that you at least use the aforementioned guidelines to point you in the right direction. Keep in mind that today’s marketers are extremely clever. You may think you know what to get, but you could be sorely mistaken if you don’t shop smart.

Top 5 Best Steel Dildos to Consider In 2019:

Appreciating the value of steel dildos and knowing how to shop for one is only half the battle. You’re still up against thousands of different models with features that seem eerily similar to one another. It’s rough out there, so a few little suggestions can go an awfully long way for those who use them right. With that said, here are what I consider to be the top five best steel dildos on the market right now (in no particular order):

1. The nJoy Eleven

Made out of medical-grade stainless steel for deep penetrative action, the nJoy Eleven offers 9 insertable inches of rock-hard, skin-safe metal and 6.5 inches of orifice-stretching girth. It’s not only double-ended but it also features two different heads for maximum customization. The shaft itself is interesting enough for a second glance, with a rigidly swooping S-shape that features well-placed nodules and curves. Overall, this weighty bad boy sets the standard for all steel dildos in its wake and even comes with a leather clutch purse for easy, sophisticated storage.

2. The nJoy Pure Wand

This thing might not look like much, but that’s actually part of its appeal. Deliciously discreet and hotly hypoallergenic, this stainless-steel masterpiece appears to be a common household object but performs like a professional porn star. With dual ends of two different sizes and a steep curve to pinpoint the g-spot or p-spot of the user, the nJoy Pure Wand is purely perverted in its overall design. Measuring a cool 9 inches total, it offers 8 inches of insertable length, 5.5 inches of girth at its widest point, and sits its pretty little weighted ass inside a satin-lined storage box that rivals something from a high-end jewelry store.

3. The nJoy Fun Wand

Another amazing development out of the nJoy factory, the Fun Wand features a unique shape over its sleek, polished stainless-steel body. As with all nJoy steel dildos on this list, the FW has two distinct ends for optimal satisfaction. Moreover, it offers 8 inches of insertable length, 3.5 inches of girth and features a body-conscious S-shape to attack the sweet spot. And with a set of graduated balls running down the shaft, this bad boy can double as anal beads with the right prep work or triple as a romantic gift thanks to the swanky storage box it comes in.

4. The Desire Luxury Beaded Dildo

A little less fancy than the trio mention above, the Desire Luxury Beaded Dildo is still quite the force to be reckoned with. It has a generous 6.5 inches of insertable length but that’s not all. It also offers 5 inches of girth along its fat, bulbous/beaded shaft that inspires its name. Made from medical-grade stainless-steel, this chubby SOB is weighted, temperature responsive, waterproof, and ergonomically shaped for the average user’s hand – everything you’d want in a good steel dildo, especially considering how awesome it is for anal stimulation too.

5. The Desire Luxury G-Spot Dildo

It’s not hard to see why this particular steel dildo has sold millions of units since its inception by the Desire label not too long ago. Its sexy, shiny body is made from the industry’s top medical-grade stainless-steel, plus it features one of the most unique shapes on the market. Curved for direct g-spot stimulation and weighted for easy massaging, the Desire Luxury G-Spot Dildo certainly lives up to its name. Oh yeah, and it has a beginner-friendly size of only 4 inches in insertable length and just 3.5 inches in circumference.

Tips for Picking Out/Using a Vibrating Dildo

Don’t take my word for it. Skim through the following tips and tricks to make sure you’re getting the most bang for your buck:

  1. Double check that you nor your partner have any skin sensitivities or allergies to certain materials, and then stay away from sex toys that contain those materials.
  2. Ensure you have enough personal lubricant on hand that’s compatible with the materials of your vibrating dildo and with you/your partner’s skin type.
  3. Consider whether you have the time and money to proper clean and store your new plaything.
  4. If provided, always register your toy’s warranty within the first 30 days of ownership to avoid an expensive disappointment.
  5. Make a budget for this purchase before you go shopping but remember that your financial limitations should be somewhat flexible to account for surprises, accessories, and shipping (where applicable).

As always, take the high road when shopping for a new vibrating dildo. Only buy your supply from a reputable dealer who offers discreet billing, private shipping, and reliable customer service.

One Final Word

It doesn’t take a genius to pick out a good dildo vibrator. After all, we’ve been naturally crafting our own versions since the beginning of time. Having finally entered the era of high-end sex toys, it’s time that you start shopping like an expert. And if we all raise the bar like this, then the world’s sex toy manufacturers will have no choice but to provide us with even better stuff. Either way, there’s likely already a vibrating dildo out there that’s perfect for you. I hope I’ve helped you track it down.

Reviews Of The Top 10 Best Sex Toys For Women In 2019

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It’s not always easy for a gal to get her rocks off, especially a world that’s so dedicated to helping men get theirs. With an abundance of male sex toys on the modern market, finding something that’s been given as much attention on behalf of the ladies is sometimes difficult. Luckily, that’s only sometimes, and thankfully, top ten lists like this one are being created to change the trend in favor of the weaker sex.

Nobody ever said that there’s a shortage of options out there. It’s just that the options available are less than remarkable for the most part. And for women who like a good orgasm without wasting a bunch of cash, trial and error simply isn’t in the cards. After all, women’s sex toys cost an average of 10% more than toys for men and many of them aren’t nearly as high-tech. It’s time we stop spoiling the dudes and start giving ladies what they deserve.

The Top 10 Best Rated Sex Toys For Women In 2019:

There are literally thousands of female sex toys out there, including dildos, vibrators, clitoral stimulators, and all-inclusive, one-size-fits-all varieties. The bullshit has been expertly cut through to discover the top dogs in the feminine orgasm arena, with no room left for the wannabes, lames, or jokes. As a result of months of diligent research, the following products have been found worthy – guaranteed to make you squirt across the room like it’s your job.

NOTE: These toys are in no particular order, but instead are sequenced in the order they were first discovered.

1. Lelo Soraya

  • Rechargeable
  • Waterproof
  • Powerful
  • Portable

Newly introduced by Lelo, the Soraya is a dual-action vibrating dildo not only looks like a million bucks, but it also functions that way too. As one of the smoothest silicone-based female sex toys on the market today, it’s super soft and superbly efficient at reaching those hard-to-get erogenous zones on a woman’s body.

Known by fans as “the ultimate rabbit,” this toy takes internal and external stimulation to a whole new level. The Soraya is lovely and luxurious, complete with a 10-year manufacturer’s warranty. It can be used alone or with a partner thanks to its uniquely positioned controls, and the chrome-finished handle loop isn’t a bad touch either.

 

 

2. The Nova

  • Rechargeable
  • Waterproof
  • Portable
  • Powerful

The Nova by We-Vibe is a toy that combines sensations to provide an all-out brawl on your pussy. It features duel pleasure settings that attack your clit and G-spot simultaneously. Furthermore, the flexible design allows it to stay put even if you wiggle uncontrollably, which therein makes it a terrific toy for both self-pleasure sessions and group activities.

The easy-to-use controls on the shaft of the toy are quickly accessible and can be manipulated with only one hand. As a relatively attractive work of art, the Nova features looped ergonomics to render your erogenous zones helpless and is compatible with its very own smart device We-Connect app for long-distance fun whether in the bedroom or in the bath.

 

 

 

3. The 50 Shades of Grey Greedy Girl

  • Rechargeable
  • Waterproof
  • Powerful
  • Diverse

Lovehoney has long been known as a source for top of the line sex toys, and their 50 Shades of Grey Greedy Girl is no exception. It features a whopping 36 vibe mode combo and 15 distinct speeds powered by two robust motors. Now we understand why they call it the Greedy Girl.

As for looks and luxuriousness, it’s everything you’d expect from a toy with such telling nomenclature. The thick yet flexible design of the silicone shaft and delicate rabbit ears hit the sweet spots like champions, and don’t forget about the impressive dimensions: about 5 ½ inches in length and a hefty 2-inch girth that last for up to 60 minutes when fully charged (with or without a partner).

 

 

4. The Ora

  • Handheld
  • Rechargeable
  • Portable
  • Waterproof

The Ora, as the name suggests, gives the pleasure of oral sex without having to convince your partner to do it (or do it right for that matter). As one of the world’s most sleek and sophisticated oral sex simulators, this bad mamma-jamma feels like a long, slender tongue is swirling around your lady parts like it’s an Olympic event. In fact, there are 10 different patterns to choose from and each of them are just as intense as the last one.

Although the Ora by the well-known Lelo brand doesn’t vibrate or penetrate, it certainly gets the job done. Not only that, but it’s super adorable looking as well, with a soft silicone outer layer covering a shiny, chrome inner circle. The controls are easy to handle by either you or your partner too, and the unique SenseTouch technology means the power increases as you apply more pressure.

 

 

5. The OhMiBod Fuse

  • High-tech
  • Portable
  • Rechargeable
  • Interactive

As the newest female sex toy to come out of the well-known Kiiroo brand lineup, the OhMiBod Fuse is probably the most high-tech product on this list. Not only is it compatible with the Fleshlight Launch but it also plays well with every other Kiiroo brand product (like the Onyx or Pearl, for example), creating what can only be called a mutual masturbation masterpiece. With Bluetooth connectivity running the dual-stim massager, two-way communication allows simultaneous sex to happen even at great distances.

This thing is likely the most attractive toy mentioned thus far, with a sleek, modern-looking shaft complete with stainless steel, LED-lit controls over its soft, black silicone body. The updated functionality of the Fuse allows you or your partner to drive the action at will using a bi-directional interface that hits the g-spot and clitoris like a pro with just a swipe on the touch-sensitive trigger. Yowza!

 

 

6. The We-Vibe Sync

 

  • Waterproof
  • Rechargeable
  • Compact
  • Discrete

As a standard in modern-day sex toys, this one is made from medical-grade silicone and uses a remote control to adjust the various vibration intensities and speeds. Not only that, but it is customizable to the shape of your body, comes with a We-Connect app for your smart device, and can link up with another toy for a pleasurable party in the pants.

As for its appearance, it’s both attractive and compact. The We-Vibe Sync also comes in a variety of cute colors and features a sturdy charging dock for its powerful rechargeable battery. The entire contraption is sleek, feminine, and easy to use, aside from being soft, silky, and textured just right for a lady’s vagina and anus. That’s right – it can be used for either hole. Just lube it up and clean it off or you’ll be sorry.

 

 

7. Clone-A-Willy

  • Waterproof
  • Commercial Battery Operated
  • Portable
  • Customizable

Made to replicate the penis of your most favored partner, this DIY dildo is so much more than an at-home art project. It can be used with any size dick, plus it renders the most realistic representation the industry has ever seen. Developed initially for Hollywood movie sets, the Clone-A-Willy kits contain high-end materials that are extremely easy to use, completely skin safe, and a lot of fun to create.

In terms of functionality, these homemade bad boys come standard with an insertable vibrator that measures 5 ¼ inches long. The finished product can be used with or without the vibe, and the entire thing is done setting up in 24 hours or less. Furthermore, the manufacturer offers numerous priced-right accessories to make the process easier and the complete Clone-A-Willy kits are some of the most affordable toys on the market.

 

 

8. The Hula Beads

  • Rechargeable
  • Waterproof
  • Compact
  • Discrete

As inspiration for some of the most popular female sex toys available, the Hula Beads by Lelo are basically the cream inside the cookie – pleasure beads that rotate and vibrate simultaneously to stimulate the labia and clitoris at the same time. This remote-controlled masterpiece features numerous settings from very gentle to extremely intense. Furthermore, it can be worn discretely or used as an outside stimulant by yourself or with the help of a lover.

In the looks department, the Hula Beads aren’t all that, nor are they what you might expect. Fully contained inside a skin-safe silicone glove, the moving parts are protected from traveling by a flexible yet durable material. With a safety string attached to the bottom, it’s easy to keep track of the star of the show even when things get wild.

 

 

9. The Muse

  • Commercial Battery Operated
  • Compact
  • Discrete
  • Water Resistant

Cute and dainty, the Muse by N.S. Novelties resembles a real rabbit, with dual vibrating “ears” that stimulate the erogenous zones on both sides of the clit. The 10 unique vibe settings can be turned on together or adjusted to a pulse rhythm too, meaning you can customize playtime based on what turns you on the most. It’s handheld and doesn’t come with a remote, so it’s best for solo missions. However, the controls are easily manipulated with the touch of a button, meaning couple’s play is a real possibility.

The size of this thing is what gets most women excited immediately. Not only can it fit in the palm of your hand, but it also features LED accent lights that help in darkened spaces. Since it’s not exactly meant for insertion, it can be used discretely by ladies who want to abstain from penetration. And with powerful dual motors ran by two standard commercial batteries, playtime can last for hours if that’s what you need.

 

 

10. The Stronic Eins

  • Rechargeable
  • Waterproof
  • Powerful
  • Portable

Although at first glance the Stronic Eins by Fun Factory looks like an old-school vibrator, it is anything but. In fact, it features a powerful motor that pushes naturalistic pulses to simulate real sex thrusts. The shaft of this toy is hollow, and a piece of solid metal moves up and down it when turned on. Thus, the waves created are like nothing else on the market thus far.

In terms of functionality and pleasure settings, this thing is a marvel of modern machinery. With an insertable length of 4 ½ inches, the Eins cycles through 10 different pre-programmed settings once the “Press Fun to Play” button is activated. With a slight ergonomic curve, skin-soft silicone, and nearly 1 ½-inch diameter, this toy hits the g-spot every single time.

 

 

 

What Makes a Top Female Sex Toy?

Without some discernment, this list would ramble on for hours as it described and reviewed every female sex toy on the shelves. The plethora of sex toys is apparent, but they’re not all created equally. To make it on to this prestigious list, toys must possess the following characteristics:

They Must Be Made by a Reputable Manufacturer

While some no-name manufacturers probably have a couple toys in their inventories worth mentioning, chances are they don’t. They’re unpopular brands for a reason. The market has been scoured and the theory has been proven. Thus, only trusted brands will be featured here because, let’s face it, the well-known manufacturers obviously know what they’re doing.

They Must Be Made from High-End Materials

Most ladies are very picky about the quality of materials used in the toys they’re about to insert inside their vagina. This isn’t rocket science here. No woman wants to wiggle on something that’s made from questionable stuff. The materials used must exhibit fine quality, be easy to maintain, simple to clean, and soft to the touch. It’s as simple as that.

They Must Have All the Features Ladies Love

Move over men, the time for women to start achieving mind-blowing orgasms is now. You had your chance, so now it’s the toys’ turn. Since merely fucking a man doesn’t always get the job done, ladies need a dildo or vibrator with plenty of bells and whistles. Gone are the days of simple dick-shaped fuck sticks. Say hello to a new generation of high-tech sex toys that feature everything a woman needs to make a proper O-face.

They Must Be Suitable for Solo Runs as well as Couple’s Play

Although most modern women want to be self-sufficient, sharing their joy is also important. Toys that allow for solo missions as well as group sex sessions are essential. If sharing means caring, then the toys on this list must play well with others (or not), depending on a lady’s right to choose.

They Must Not Rely Solely on Looks

An attractive sex toy is nice and all, but that can’t be the only redeeming factor. In some cases, the ugliest product is the best one for the task at hand. Relying solely on the appearance of each toy is a quick way to get lost down the rabbit hole of misconception. None of that shit is happening here.

The Vixen Bandit VixSkin Review: The Most Realistic Silicone Dildo On The Market?

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I can’t remember the last time I used a dildo that didn’t look like a real human penis (yesterday). It’s been an even longer time since I enjoyed the sensations of a temperature reactive toy (this morning). The innovations that continually come out of the modern-day sex toy industry still amaze me (I’m not surprised, pervs). And that influx in supply has only made it harder for already confused consumers to find a decent dildo (they’re all the same, right).

With that said, certain dildos stand out from the rest for one reason or another. I cast out my wide net to catch the diamonds in the rough, always bringing back the cream of the crop to float my boat. And although you may not be able to tell it at first glance, the Vixen brand’s Bandit dildo is a force to be reckoned with. Fit for the price and featuring almost everything you’d want in a dong, this penis-looking plaything isn’t anything to scoff at.

What Is the Vixen Bandit?

Let me start out by saying that this is not the most realistic dildo I’ve ever seen. However, it’s not too shabby, plus it’s still a terrific fake dick. The Vixen Bandit is a slightly less luxurious model than the similar Vixen Johnny made by the same brand though, but the prices are rather comparable. Designed for either vaginal or anal play, this precisely proportionate penis is made for people who have a little experience working with insertable sex toys. Sans the colloquially deep curve that seems to be regulatory on today’s “realistic” dildos, the Bandit is virtually a straight-up rebel in that it doesn’t suffer from a bad case of Peyronie’s disease.

 

 

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The Main Features

Despite its relatively unique shape, the thick and juicy Bandit by the now well-known Vixen brand is designed to poke and prod the p-spot or g-spot of the lucky bastard using it. Perfect for solo play and couple’s rendezvous, this defiant dong is weighted to provide supreme pressure to the glans. I also found the straighter shape of the shaft to be a much better fit in most positions, and many folks who enjoy cavernous stimulation like I do will appreciate the greater depth at which it can penetrate too.

But either way you look at it, the Vixen Bandit dildo does it best to be realistic like its brand brothers. Not the most luxurious model but still a prime contender, the Bandit uses the coveted dual density core technology that’s currently taking the sex toy industry by storm. Straight and somewhat fake-looking or not, this thing is obviously made to get the job done.

Sans bells and whistles like bursting ball sacks and vibrating shafts, this stand-alone shaft does the damn thing in whatever situation you put it. In addition, the following things also describe this big-balled bad ass:

  • It’s covered in the brand’s patented VixSkin material which has the following qualities:
    • Temperature responsive
    • Hypoallergenic
    • Non-porous
    • Waterproof
  • It has a very slightly curved shaft for a more comfortable and versatile fit.
  • The head is somewhat smaller than the shaft, making insertion and removal easier.
  • It can be used with or without a harness.
  • It has lifelike characteristics, including:
    • Balls
    • Texturizing
    • Veins
  • It measures 7.5 inches in total insertable length.
  • It offers 5.5 inches in circumference.
  • The base diameter is a standard 4.5 inches.
  • The O-ring diameter is only 2 inches.

On top of all those things, the Vixen Bandit also uses the ever-popular Dual Density Core technology, meaning it feels like a real erection while also being flexible enough not to bust down your walls. And best of all, that fine amalgamation of features involves absolutely no use of latex or phthalates either, plus it’s all condom and water-based or flavored lube compatible.

What Comes in the Box?

Like most other sex toys that come out of the Vixen brand warehouse, you won’t be impressed by the quality or appearance of the VB’s packaging. In fact, it’s somewhat surprising that the manufacturer hasn’t worked a bit harder on presentation, especially in lieu of all the luxury brands out there selling similar dildos in sexy packages for less. But I digress. Your precious penis will come stuffed inside a clear plastic snap-together container and there’s nothing anybody can do about it.

Inside it is just the Bandit dildo, hugged tightly by one of the smallest packets of water-based lube you’ll ever see. There’s no toy cleaning solution included, nor is there anything else in there for that matter. What you see is literally what you get – a big fake dick in a cheap plastic box. It’s sure as hell a good thing this dildo’s features speak for itself, or else I’d have nothing to write about.

How It Feels

Like any good dildo that’s got a stiff erectile core and a smooth, temperature sensitive surface, the Vixen Bandit feels much like the real thing. The balls are soft and placed in such a way that they touch and tickle your erogenous zone with every thrust. Furthermore, the slight curve and tapered head work together to make this ride less wild and more wonderful.

The Cheers and Jeers

You realize nothing is perfect, right? Ok, so let’s all take an objective look at the Vixen Bandit before we make our minds up:

PROS

Take Out – Since the Vixen Bandit is compatible with nearly every strap-on harness known to man, it’s easy to take it along for any pants party you attend.

Now Serving Newbies – Although the VB is large and girthy enough to accommodate the needs of fake penis pros, it still has the user-friendly dimensions and features required by the novice.

As Good as It Gets – With lots of acceptably realistic features like texturized balls and strategically placed veins, the Vixen Bandit is about as real as it gets for the price.

Weather Man – It’s easy to play with the temperature controls when you’re working with something like the VixSkin material. I’m seriously a huge fan.

Mr. Clean – The non-porous nature of that VixSkin shit makes it some of the easiest material to clean and maintain. No special cleaning solutions needed (I guess that explains the naked box).

 

CONS

Could Be Better – Although it has plenty of lifelike characteristics, the VB is certainly not the most humanistic dildo on the market. Not the best match if you need something super believable.

Where Do We Go from Here? – Like all other Vixen brand dildos so far, this son of a bitch does not come with any type of storage whatsoever, meaning you’ll have to get creative when it’s time to put it away.

Money Matters – While it’s not the most expensive silicone dildo there is, you could get a significantly better dong for just a few more dollars.

The Final Verdict

Overall, the Vixen Bandit is a great tool for both slow-building towards orgasm and hardcore pound fucking. With plenty of length, a substantial girth, and a material that feels like the real thing, this temperature-sensitive, dual-density core-having, relatively realistic dildo could make the perfect spontaneous stocking stuffer (as long as your stocking is a well-lubed pussy or ass). You can find more information or buy Vixen Bandit at the official lovehoney website.

The ElectraStim Bi-Polar Electrosex Wave Metal Dildo Review: Experience Electrifying Orgasms

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Until just a few years ago, I was a noob when it came to electrostimulation sex toys. The thought of using something with that name gave me the chills, but all I got was the thrills once I finally put my fears behind me and attempting the unthinkable. Trying something new for the first time is never fun. That is, unless you’re trying the ElectroStim Bi-Polar Electrosex Wave, in which case, you’ll probably have the time of your life. As one of the sleekest and sexiest toys on the market, this magnificent model of modern machinery is more like a work of art than a sex toy.

What Is the ElectraStim Electrosex Wave?

The ElectraStim Electrosex Wave dildo is one that uses electrical currents to provide extreme sexual bliss. Although that may sound intimidating, it’s really not. In fact, electro-stimulation (e-stim) is merely a more scientific approach to achieving orgasm and it may someday replace traditional vibrators.

Instead of manually rubbing on or touching the p-spot or g-spot to instigate climax, e-stim technology sends tiny electrodes through the various nerve endings of the erogenous zone to stimulate pleasurable sensations. It feels a lot like a vibration, but it penetrates the muscle tissue more deeply to generate a whole-body orgasm.

And if that doesn’t sound fancy enough, the ElectraStim Wave does all that without causing any nerve damage or electrical shock whatsoever, plus it needs no batteries or charging cables because it runs off of a separate power source. This bi-polar metal rocket is designed to spark your interest time and time again, with plenty of customizable settings to have you exploring cloud nine for a decades. So, while it may be a toy that uses something relatively new to you, the Wave is certainly a dildo worth considering.

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The Main Features

With smooth waves made out of shiny, polished metal, this versatile, stainless-steel dildo is an e-stim enthusiast’s wet dream. Its exterior is continually cool (both in temperature and in appearance), plus it uses a central acrylic isolator on the interior to prevent the pleasure pulses from escaping into the hand. The ElectraStim Electrosex Wave dildo takes on a life of its own too, but that’s a whole other story.

While this unisex toy feels amazing with or without the e-stim pulses, its compatible Electrosex power unit is where all the magic originates. The EE Wave can be quickly turned into a high-tech vibrator simply by plugging it into the external power source which is, unfortunately, sold separately.

Still, this model is exceptionally easy to use. The two 2mm pin connectors on the power unit connect to the sockets in the base of the dildo and send tingly sensations to any part of the body it touches. That means, the ElectraStim Wave can be used not only as a sex toy but also as a fun foreplay tool and a body massager as well. Talk about a threesome.

The liner design means that the insulating layer and its charge of e-stim power run end-to-end without interruption. Regardless of the depth at which I dove with my Wave, there was never a lack of pleasurable sensations to experience. It also using 7 insulating rings to further support the nonstop, unwavering pulses.

And here are some other things you might want to know about this bad boy before I move on:

  • It has a total circumference of 3.5 inches.
  • It’s insertable length is 5.5 inches.
  • The total length of the toy is 7.5 inches.
  • It contains no latex or phthalates.
  • It is not waterproof.
  • Specialized cleaning supplies are needed to maintain this dildo.
  • The power unit requires electricity to run properly and is not battery-operated or rechargeable (yet).

What Comes in the Box?

With all those features and a name like the ElectraStim Bi-Polar Electrosex Wave Dildo, you’d think this thing would come packed inside a swanky box with lots of freebies and samples. Well, if you thought that you’d be wrong. Not only is the box rather ordinary and not suitable for storage but the dildo nor the power unit comes with a protective container.

The box itself contains the dildo only. Remember, the power unit, conductor pads and/or conductor gel-lubes are sold separately as well. In other words, owning and using this bad boy is going to take an investment.

How It Feels?

Although this wasn’t the easiest e-stim dildo to hold, I still thought it was the best option for numerous reasons. First of all, it’s smooth yet cool surface made it slide and glide in all the right places. Plus, it feels good with or without the separate power unit just like the manufacturer states. And that might be the first time a sex toy maker hasn’t embellished their claims in the slightest.

The Cheers and Jeers

You do realize that even the best products have a few flaws, right? Well, remember that as we take an objective look at the ElectraStim Bi-Polar Electrosex Wave (and if they could stop making the names so long that would be great):

PROS

Cool, Calm and Collected – The heat-repellent metal material with which the ElectraStim Wave is made keeps the surface cool even when things get hot and heavy.

Sock It to Me – The e-stim pulses that come out of the electrosex power unit are insanely powerful, with enough juice to pulsate your p-spot or g-spot into submission with a quickness.

Balancing Act – The power current that runs from one end to the other is incredibly balanced for such a wavy dildo.

Rash-free Fun and Games – The stainless-steel material gives this dildo a convenient hypoallergenic quality and also makes it compatible with any type of lube (especially water-based).

It’s Not the Size that Matters – It’s the motion in the ocean, right? Well, the Wave not only has the motion you need but it also has feel-good dimensions that are perfect for all sorts of body types and orifices.

 

CONS

I Feel Incomplete – Without the power unit either sold with the dildo or somehow integrated into it, this sex toy feels somewhat incomplete straight out of the box.

Wallet Woes – Because the power unit and conductor gel are sold separately, you’ll be forced to spend a little extra money if you want to experience every feature of this e-stim dildo.

Storage Wars – Finding a good place to hide or store the ElectraStim Wave should be interesting considering it’s a high-tech, non-waterproof sex toy that doesn’t come with a suitable container.

Cha-Ching – For some people, this e-stim dildo (and especially its two-part combo) could be a bit too expensive for a casual sex toy.

The Final Verdict

All in all, I’d have to say that the ElectraStim Bi-Polar Electrosex Wave dildo is probably the best execution of an e-stim toy I’ve seen so far. And while the power unit being sold separately is a slight bummer on the budget, the fact that this bad boy can be used with or without the e-stim feature makes it well worth the money. My only suggestion is that you use plenty of conductor gel/lube to ensure a good connection between your skin and the connector pins. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Vixen Johnny VixSkin Realistic 7 Inch Dildo Review: Can It Get Any Better?

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I’ve never been the kind of person to become overwhelmed by the sight of a dick. Most of them look pretty much the same anyway, and today’s sex toy industry has done a good job of capturing the penile essence time and time again. At any given moment, any of us can gaze upon a cock at our leisure, either in porn, at the sex shop or in our own homes. So, when a so-called “realistic” dildo gets introduced to the market, I’m usually the last person to get excited.

There was no exception to that rule when I first saw the Vixen Johnny. In fact, it looked so damned realistic that, at first, I thought it was the dismembered body part of some poor bastard somewhere. I was so overcome with shock that I forgot to get horny. But then it finally hit me: I was holding one of the most lifelike synthetic penises this side of the Mississippi.

What Is the Vixen Johnny Vixskin Dildo?

A dildo: An aptly sized fake dick, made solely to sexually please the user. That’s what the Vixen Johnny is, technically. On a more creative note, however, it’s a properly proportioned device that can be used in countless ways to produce orgasm. So, when the world says anything can be a dildo if you’re brave enough, answer back holding a fuck stick that looks like you’re a superhero.

The VJ as I like to call him is designed for both men and women and can be used either anally or vaginally. Designed with healthy sexual appetites in mind, the patented materials and unique shape of this dildo make it ideal for regular and/or prolonged use. Perfect for rigorous solo play or adventurous couple’s “therapy,” the Vixen Johnny isn’t one to disappoint.

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The Main Features

With everything you’d want (and more) in a good dildo, Johnny’s sexy ass comes out ahead of the rest in numerous categories. Aside from the heavily realism he provides, his silky smooth VixSkin material is non-porous, natural feeling and – get this – it’s temperature responsive too. So, this is how the heating/cooling experiments usually went down in my neck of the woods:

  • 2-3 minutes in the refrigerator or freezer
  • 30-45 seconds in the microwave
  • 4-5 minutes in hot or cold water

I’d just like to say that it’s rather rare for a skin-like dildo material to also be sensitive to heat and cold. I won’t deny that my otherwise objective hands were immediately ready to explore the rest of the features on Mr. VJ, which I soon found out included the following:

  • Bulging corona (head)
  • Human-like veins on the shaft
  • Slight curvature
  • Soft, textured balls
  • Dual density core technology

Curious about that Dual Density mumbo jumbo like I was? Well, it’s worth considering. DD cores give the dildo a hyper-realistic feel that closely resembles that of a live erection. Stiff yet pliable, the dual technology mixed with the temperature sensitive VixSkin is pair of sensations that can only be matched by the real thing. Apply plenty of water-based lube and go to town on a dildo that’s as close to reality as you’re going to get for the price.

Overall, the features work together seamlessly to create lip-biting, mind-numbing sensations. I think the VJ is perfect for people who like to take let their sexuality lead the way. Waterproof and hypoallergenic, Johnny is suitable for bath time rituals and lovers with sensitive skin. Best of all, he’s harness compatible and you already know what that means. Switch-a-roo, baby!

Furthermore, I feel like this bad boy is big enough to please the pros but small enough to incite instant arousal among the newbies. His overall appearance is quite attractive and his dimensions are right on point. For one, Johnny is super hand-friendly, with a 5.75-inch total circumference. For two, his insertable length, which is a cozy 7 inches, suffices for both pussy and ass games. Plus, he has a flat, non-slip base for hands-free fun and safety.

What Comes in the Box?

Johnny is a real trooper, especially considering the fact that he comes to you in a hobo’s dressing. Stuffed indiscriminately inside a thick yet cheap plastic container that reminds me of a gas station salad box, the Vixen brand obviously spent all their production funds on the dildo itself. Fair enough, but discretion goes right out the window when the whole world can see what I just bought.

Anyway, inside the unimpressive container rests only Johnny and his little pal, a tiny sample of the water-based lube that apparently comes highly recommended by the maker. You can use any water-based lube you want though. There’s not any toy cleaner in there, nor is there a specific harness to strap him into. Either way, you’ll get everything needed to begin screwing yourself in the right way and you’ll have a versatile dildo to play with in the meantime.

I’ve sort of already touched base on this one, but the Vixen Johnny feels a lot like having sex with a real person (minus the sudden erectile dysfunction after ejaculation, which Johnny cannot do). The combination of weightiness and temperature responsive skin makes it easy to customize each experience, not to mention it only adds to the realism. And while the VixSkin material is super soft, I do suggest using a lube that doesn’t absorb quickly because there’s quite a bit of drag down there when things dry up.

The Cheers and Jeers

You know nothing’s perfect right? Good. With that said, let’s take an objective look at the Vixen Johnny dildo:

PROS

Sized Up – Your new best friend Johnny is proportioned just right for all types of sexual activities.

Double Trouble – The Dual Density Core technology is being used more and more by the dildo makers of the world, but for now it’s just one of the better features of the Vixen Johnny.

Smooth Talker – There are only a few skin-like dildo materials on today’s sex toy market that feel as soft and smooth as VixSkin that’s used on this fella.

Plays Nice – The flat base makes VJ work with all kinds of harnesses extremely well, meaning its versatility only increases with your perversion. 

The Price Is Right – For such a well-made dildo, it’s sure as hell affordable. No extra equipment required either, besides the usual: lube, toy cleaner and (maybe) a harness.

 

CONS

Suck It, Trebek – With the lack of a suction cup base, Johnny misbehaves in certain situations and won’t stay where you put him.

Playing for Keeps – There is no manufacturer’s warranty or quality guarantee on this thing if you buy it direct, meaning you get what you get and that’s that. Buy smart, folks. 

Hiding and Fighting – You’ll most likely have a hard time finding a good place to hide and/or store VJ because he’s not only large but he also doesn’t come with any sort of storage container whatsoever.

The Final Verdict

In total, the Vixen Johnny dildo is the top choice if you’re looking for something that appears real and feels like an actual dick. He’s low maintenance and high pleasure – just what we all need out of a good sex toy. You can find more information or buy Vixen Johnny at the official lovehoney website.

The Vixen Mustang Dildo: Can It Bring You To The Most Colorful Orgasm?

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I don’t have a lot of experience with this whole dildo thing. I couldn’t tell a good sex toy if my life depended on it. So, when something comes along that’s different from most other products in the same industry, I’m usually clueless about it. And that’s going to be the first and last time I’m going to lie to you in this review of the Vixen Mustang.

Sometimes, picking out a good dildo is harder than the dildo itself. I feel your pain, brothers and sisters. Modern-day sex toy manufacturers are not shy about claiming to have the best products on the market. And since they can’t all be number one, I’ve decided to see how the VM measures up against the competition. Let the games begin.

What Is the Vixen Mustang?

If you can’t tell just by looking at it, the Vixen Mustang is a dildo, a.k.a. my next obsession. The dimensions are such that it can be used either vaginally or anally (with enough lube), and like any good dildo, it looks a lot like a human penis in its shape and size. With plenty of lifelike features to counterbalance its many fantastic ones, this rainbow-colored synthetic shlong dances on the thin line between realistic and ridiculous – just the way I like it when it comes to my sex toys.

Tie-dyed and terribly attractive, the VM is an amazingly crafted dildo that’s marketed for women. However, I find that it can be used by men just the same. Made to be as ergonomic as possible, some people may still find its lack of balls a chore. Personally, I thought it helped add a little much-needed depth to my otherwise stalled out rhythm. Either way, it’s marketed as “the unicorn of dildos,” meaning it’s rare and magical, albeit not exactly everyone’s favorite.

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The Main Features

They say nothing runs like a Mustang, right? Wrong. The Vixen Mustang dildo runs off of manual power instead of gasoline, but it’s ability to drive you to your limits could give the Ford motor company a run for its money. And just like a nice car with a terrible paint job, this whimsical wonder-dong is much more than meets the eye.

For starters, it features a slightly curved shaft that’s attached to a conveniently flared suction cup base. You can turn it any direction you like while in the bedroom or the shower; this bad boy is completely waterproof too. Using the Vixen brand’s patented VixSkin material, the Mustang dildo is also temperature responsive, hypoallergenic for all skin types and surprisingly lifelike. To me, that’s about all it takes for a dildo to be worth my money.

However, the features of the Vixen Mustang didn’t stop there. My absolute favorite part was the dual density core (DDC) – this crazy awesome feature that’s showing up on all the best dildos on today’s sex toy market. Anyway, the DDC is surrounded by a thick yet pliable layer of that VixSkin material, giving the whole thing an uncannily realistic feel. Add on the pronounced head and protruding veins and holy shit. I don’t really give a damn what color the dildo is at that point.

Perhaps even better than that is how well the Mustang plays with others. Not only is it harness compatible but it can also be used with water-based or oil-based lube. Although the entirety of this dildo is silicone, that VixSkin material has some super powers or some shit, so usage and clean up are much, much easier than you’d expect. No latex or phthalates are used either, so this shit just keeps getting better.

Last but not least: the measurements. The Vixen Mustang dildo is just above average sized with a total length of 8.5 inches. As far as insertable length, we’re talking about 7.5 inches on average. The circumference is right at 5 inches too, meaning the complete package provided by this thing is weighty, girthy and substantial even if you don’t have a clue how to masturbate with a sex toy.

What Comes in the Box?

In the case of the Vixen Mustang, the heading “What Comes in the Box” doesn’t apply because this toy comes in a clear plastic cylinder that shows off the dildo’s colorful features to the entire human race. But a lack of discretion isn’t the only thing you’ll notice when you look at this thing. It’s also sans any accessories or freebies. No lube samples, no toy cleaner; all you get is the toy itself (and maybe a little hope for a better sex life). I guess that’s better than nothing.

How It Feels

The Vixen Mustang dildo would be undeniably authentic if all men had unicorn penises. But since they don’t, a bit is lacking in the realism department with this one. However, between the overall shape, the material’s texture and the dual density core, most of the sensations provided by this fake dick were as close to the real thing as possible. The temperature sensitive nature of the VixSkin only added to the pleasure, and whether used vaginally or anally, the suction cup seldom came unattached when it was secured properly.

The Cheers and Jeers

You know nothing is perfect, right? Ok. So, let’s look at the Vixen Mustang dildo objectively to find out if it’s the right one for you or not:

PROS

Down to Earth – The overall sensations created by this otherwise funny ass looking dildo are about as real as it gets. Total charmer.

Standing at Attention – A good dildo will feel like an actual erection, and the Vixen Mustang with its fancy dual density core is certainly not lacking in that area.

Bend and Snap – Although it’s relatively rigid and therefore resembles a full-blown erection, this thing still had the flexibility I needed to give it hell without getting hurt.

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful – Simple to take care of and even easier to clean, this pretty penis is low maintenance when compared to other dildo models like it.

Hot and Cold – The extra special temperature sensitive property of the VixSkin material is a great touch that I don’t usually expect in a non-metal, skin-like dildo.

Making Ends Meet – The VM is nicely priced for all the features and uniqueness it brings to the bedroom.

 

 

CONS

The Missing Link – Just like your stupid ex-boyfriend, this thing has no balls.

Honey, What Do We Do Now? – Since there is no storage bag included and the box it comes in is a cheap, clear plastic, you’ll have a hard time hiding and/or explaining this dildo.

Nothing to See Here – Aside from its realistic features and playful paint job, the Vixen Mustang has little else to offer an avid masturbator.

The Final Verdict

 

In my opinion, the tie-dyed Vixen Mustang dildo is a feasible addition to anyone’s sex toy collection. Unintimidating and bountiful with the realism despite its otherwise fantastic appearance, this dildo helped me stop taking my masturbation and sex lives so seriously while simultaneously achieving a serious orgasm. So, although I can’t say there’s nothing quite like it on the market I can say that it probably won’t be like anything you currently own (and that could be a very good thing). You can find more information or buy Vixen Mustang at the official lovehoney website.

The Njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo: A Highway To Female Ejaculation!

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I’ve been messing with dildos for decades, and I’m never surprised by the neat stuff that comes sliding out of the sex toy industry. These days, it’s common to see a dildo or vibrator that looks nothing like a human penis, and for that I’m eternally grateful. After all, if I’m looking for an artificial orgasm, the last thing I want is for it to come from a realistic dildo.

Ok, so lifelike fun sticks have their merits, but every now and then, a mysterious encounter is required to either reignite the fire or put out the flames. And I would know; non-anatomical dildos are my thing, chicken wing. As for my faves, the list is rather long. However, I do find the nJoy Pure Wand rather intriguing and I’m about to tell you why.

What Is the nJoy Pure Wand?

They say anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough, and that saying popped in my head when I first looked at the nJoy Pure Wand. This relatively innocuous looking sex toy caught me by surprise, but mostly because it didn’t look like a dildo at all. Ergonomically shaped to reach fit easily in your hand while attacking the sweet spots, the Pure Wand creates all the same sexy dildonic sensations you know and love without drawing any unwanted attention to itself.

But this bad boy’s reputation has more to do with its overall design than its ability to blend in with your kitchen utensils. Made to be both a vaginal and/or anal dildo, nJoy’s little magic wand could be a man or woman’s best friend if it’s used right (and with enough lube). Sans power cord, batteries or otherwise, the Pure Wand is designed to be travel-friendly and water ready. In other words, it’s a dildo that can go virtually anywhere without tripping the security guards (or freaking out your mother).

The Main Features

As I’ve tried to express, the nJoy Pure Wand is unlike any other dildo you’ll find out there. Not only is it formed to look nothing like a human penis but it’s also made from skin-safe materials that add to the sensations experienced. Smooth and polished to a shine, nJoy’s magic wand uses this amazing stainless-steel material that’s non-porous, temperature sensitive, and easy to clean. Revolutionizing sex play and couple’s fun, the PW is double ended too. You already know what that means.

With curves like the Autobahn and dimensions to match, this elegantly crafted bastard is ideal for both g-spot and p-spot stimulation. And while I found it somewhat difficult to hold onto with a lot of lube on my hands, the nJoy Wand has still been a sound investment. Here are some other features you should know about:

  • It measures 8 inches end-to-end but 9 inches along the curve.
  • It features two different sized balls, one on each end. The larger one measures 5.5 inches in circumference while the smaller one is a quaint 3 inches.
  • The whole contraption is carefully weighted to provide firm pressure on the glans.
  • It can be wiped down with almost any toy cleaner you own, as long as it’s non-abrasive.
  • The device can be heated and/or cooled at will within minutes.

In my opinion, the nJoy Pure Wand is most ideal for people who like to be adventurous in bed, not necessarily in need of something realistic or skin-like. It’s also probably best for folks who have some experience using sex toys. The device itself is long enough to reach deep inside the vagina or anus, but the sharp curve may end up being too much for some people’s guts and it’s far too wide to perform double penetration. Furthermore, by the time you get 5-6 inches inside, the device becomes very difficult to control. I’d hate to be the person who got this thing stuck, but I digress.

CLICK HERE TO FIND THE BEST PRICE ON THE INTERNET

 

What Comes in the Box?

One of the sexiest things about the Pure Wand is the box it comes in – a sleek, satin-lined, hinged presentation container that doubles as storage. Perhaps the best packaging I’ve ever seen, it’s truly a testament to the quality of this dildo. However, aside from the toy and that swanky box it comes in, you don’t get anything else for the money (besides a tiny sample packet of water-based lube). Thank Oprah this thing isn’t crazy expensive.

How It Feels

The best part about the nJoy Pure Wand is the stainless-steel material’s temperature responsiveness and the circumference of the balls on either end. Like a dick with a swollen corona, each bulbous formation provides an extra sensation when entering and exiting the orifice. With plenty of lube and the right technique, this dildo ended up being well worth the price and could easily replace a few of my current sex toys. I also liked how I could mix up the sensations without needing batteries or charging cords – two things I either misplace or can’t afford.

The Cheers and Jeers

You know nothing is perfect, right? Ok. So, let’s look at the nJoy Pure Wand objectively to find out if it’s the right one for you or not:

 

PROS

Water Works – As a stand-alone dildo with no electrical components, holes or moving parts, it’s completely submersible in water and can be used with any type of lube (water-based, oil-based, etc.).

Skin Wars – The Pure Wand is an excellent choice for anyone with allergies or sensitive skin, as it’s made from hypoallergenic materials and contains no latex or phthalates.

Touch Me There – This thing is an excellent toy to have around when you or your partner enjoy temperature play or less friction during masturbation and sex.

Dick in a Box – The sexy and sophisticated storage container was enough to make me want this toy in my collection.

Secret Keeper – This scrumptious sex toy can be your dirty little secret because nobody in their right mind will ever think it’s a dildo.

Primped and Pretty – It makes post-sex cleanup a fucking breeze, and I’ve ejaculated out a car window at 65 miles per hour before.

CONS

Not the Norm – Because it looks nothing like a human penis (and more like a handheld back massager), some people might not be pleased by the overall experience.

Hold on Tight – This thing is NOT strap-on harness compatible. I repeat, you will not be able to use the Pure Wand with any other toy or accessory in your stash.

Feature Folly – The nJoy brand’s Pure Wand may be simplicity’s best friend but it won’t win any awards for being high-tech or feature rich.

Price Pinch – As one of the more expensive dildos I’ve encountered, this bad boy might not be in the budget for some of you.

The Final Verdict

If I was someone who couldn’t masturbate or have sex without a toy that looked exactly like a penis, then I would hate the nJoy Pure Wand with a passion. I’d think it was a terrible design with a horrible feel. But, if I was someone who enjoyed exploring hot and cold sensations while using a dildo that was easy to clean and even easier to hide, then I’d probably be in love with this thing. You can find more information or buy Njoy Pure Wand steel dildo at the official lovehoney website.

The Volta by Fun Factory: Top Notch Clitoral Stimulator For Ladies?

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On any given day, women have a ton of high-quality gender-specific sex toys to choose from – dildos, vibrating bullets, clitoral massagers, etc. The only thing missing is a manservant to clean up after the party is over. And since that’s probably not ever going to happen, the best thing we ladies can hope for is a well-made wonder wand that lets us play however we want to.

Apparently, the guys up at the Fun Factory take their moniker seriously because they’ve managed to create a female sex toy that’s truly entertaining. Even the mere sight of the Volta in action is amusing. Designed with women in mind, this toy is also the perfect addition to any couple’s play routine thanks to its innovative functionality and ergonomic shape.

What Is the Fun Factory Volta?

Made primary for women, the makers of the Volta screamed “Power to the Pussy” as they stacked this toy on the shelves. Developed using state-of-the-art technology, our showcase device offers a unique experience through its scientifically-researched design. According to sex-perts, blood flow is increased significantly through tender tapping to the labia. Add a gentle rumble to the mix and you get a ridiculous orgasm every single time.

Handheld and powerful, the Volta is a female-inspired sex toy that, quite honestly, can be used by men as well. Those who enjoy this toy the most use it solo, with a partner during intercourse or while giving or receiving oral stimulation. It’s not exactly ideal for those who climax from penetration only, but it’s an excellent tool for stamina training and whole-body teasing.

The Main Features

Although the Volta works by using a combination of unique features, it reminded me of a run-of-the-mill rabbit vibrator in the way it functions. While it’s not designed for insertion, the flimsy flaps at the top of the toy operate similarly – you know, like a carwash for your clit. Reaching all the nooks and crannies, the skin-safe silicone pads shimmy and shake at varying speeds and with different patterns depending on which of the 12 settings you select.

Designed to be a handheld external stimulator, Fun Factory’s beloved Volta brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “Just the tip.” Obviously made by fellow perverts who know how to have a good time (and who don’t kiss and tell), the Volta comes with the following freak-worthy features:

  • A rechargeable battery
  • A charge indicator light
    • It includes a low battery warning light as well.
  • Non-porous, medical-grade silicone material
  • A water-friendly casing (a.k.a. it’s submersible)
  • A travel lock button
  • An ergonomically sound, built-in control interface
  • A total length of 7.4 inches (18.9 cm)
  • A total diameter of 1.9 inches (4.7 cm)
  • A looped easy-grip handle

Since variety is the still the spice of life, the Fun Factory folks consistently offer sex toys in an array of trendy and attractive colors too. The Volta is no exception. Choose from options like vitamin (neon orange), blackberry (purple) or petrol (turquoise). And while none of the FF toys come with a manufacturer’s warranty, they all feature some of the best German engineering this side of the Mississippi.

What Comes in the Box?

The toy’s container, on the other hand, is a different story. Not only is it relatively unattractive but it’s also unsuitable for storage. Considering we don’t get a protective pouch of any kind from these people, it would have been nice for the box to double as such.

Either way, here is what you DO get for the money:

  • The Fun Factory Volta Clitoral Stimulator (of course)
  • An instruction manual

That’s all, folks! No lube samples, no toy cleaner, just the bare essentials. The Volta doesn’t come with a power cable either because it uses the brand’s patented Click n’ Charge system which utilizes an internal, integrated battery. As mentioned, you won’t get a product guarantee but you will get a handful of warnings to help keep your device in top condition for as long as humanly possible.

How It Feels

I’ll just say this and then I’ll move on the explain: the Volta feels so good that it gives you the urge to penetrate. Does that make any sense? The feature combination works together seamlessly and overwhelms the senses so intensely that it’s nearly impossible not to want more. In other words, the Volta has a peculiar way of tapping into human nature to bring out the animal in person using it.

TIP: I found the Volta ideal for all kinds of things like clitoral stimulation, nipple teasing, intensified blow jobs, precision handies, etc. My advice: don’t be afraid to experiment with this thing.

The Cheers and Jeers

The Fun Factory freaks may have been churning out high-quality sex toys since 1996, but that doesn’t mean everything they make it perfect. Even the handy-dandy Volta has a few flaws:

PROS

  • Batter Up – The internal, integrated battery is not only powerful its also rechargeable.
    • On average, expect to get about 45-60 minutes of play from a full charge, even when you use the Volta on high speed continuously.
  • Wet n’ Wild – This toy is completely submersible, meaning it can be taken into the bath or shower at will.
  • Pussy Power – The Volta is surprisingly powerful for being so small and has excellent power transfer regardless of its flimsy/flexible tips.
  • Tiny Tim – Compact and lightweight, this thing is perfect for traveling (and remember, it has a travel lock too).
  • The Magic Number – Of all the things that come in twelves – eggs, horoscopes, disciples – the settings on the Volta are probably my favorite.
  • Everybody Flap Your Hands – Those super-smooth silicone flaps though. . .
  • Take My Money – Coming in at just under a hundred dollars, this toy is one of the least expensive pleasure wands on the market.

CONS

  • Pussy Patience – Don’t get too excited when you pull the Volta from its box. It will take between 4 and 6 hours to get it charged up and ready to go.

  • Hand Job – Although the Volta uses a rather ergonomic design, the button placement and handle size may not be suitable for everyone (especially when things get hot, heavy and slippery).

  • Stranger Danger – Fluids such as lipstick/balm, edible oil, sunscreen and certain types of lubrication can completely ruin this toy. You have been warned.

Obviously, planning ahead and being mindful of how you use and maintain the Volta will improve your experience. However, there’s little anyone can do for you if the handle isn’t a good fit for your hand. Good thing this toy is for couples, eh?

The Final Verdict

Overall, the Fun Factory Volta is a superb sex toy that, despite its few flaws, can easily transform you and your lover’s experience in the bedroom by providing simultaneous stimulation and precision pleasure. Although not the most high-tech thing on the market, the FFV has all the user-friendly features we know and love: a rechargeable battery, skin-safe materials, touch-sensitive buttons, and a waterproof casing.

The only thing I could ask for is a longer battery life (and maybe a little Bluetooth compatibility with other toys in their lineup). Some of the biggest names in the industry are making interactive sex toys that sync up with one another. If the Fun Factory boys ever latch on to that idea they may get catapulted into the Sex Toy Hall of Fame.

Lelo Soraya Luxury Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator: A Sensational Toy For Quality Orgasm Lovers! + a Special Discount Code For Our Readers!

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I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not a huge fan of rabbit vibrators. There are so may different models out there that I suppose I just got sick of sifting through the BS to find a decent sex toy. I tend to stick with clitoral stimulators or insertable, static dildos, but I don’t usually combine the two. However, my mind may have been changed here recently when I tried to Lelo Soraya.

The makers market is as a “luxury vibrator,” and I guess that’s pretty accurate. To the touch, it certainly feels like a high-dollar product. And while I did have some qualms with the overall shape and design of this thing, I can’t disagree that it’s a swank piece of machinery. Aimed at pleasing the vaginal canal while it tickles and teases the clit, the Lelo  Soraya has both a long name and a long list of fans including myself.

What Is the Lelo Soraya “Luxury” Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator?

As the name suggests, this toy is a fully rechargeable, vibrating vag wand that features that quintessential rabbit ear extension to stimulate the clit. It’s made to function as an all-inclusive female masturbator – something to insert and something to make you squirt. Unfortunately, however, it must be used in that manner all the time or else you don’t get the full effect of the toy’s unique design.

When I first laid eyes on the Soraya, I thought the little nub jutting off the shaft was some sort of new-fangled butt plug. As it turns out, though, it’s just a revolutionary clitoris massager that’s shaped almost like a tiny finger. The nub is super flexible too, which meant I could press it firmly against my sweet spot without losing contact. My only issue with this little design feature is that it sometimes slipped off my clit when I was thrusting the toy in and out. That was probably due to the fact that my hands were trembling. Either way, it was a brand-new experience for sure.

In any event, I appreciated the way this thing provided ample space for me to explore the catacombs of my vagina. Smooth and sleek, it glides into the canal nicely before shocking the man in the boat into submission. It has a variety of orgasmic user-friendly features as well, which may or may not be why I had to use it a few times before writing this review.

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The Main Features

The  Soraya is a half-silicone, half-polished chrome shaft that multiplies pleasure by providing a series of sensations inside and outside of the fun zone. It features two individual motors – one inside the shaft and another inside the clitoral nub, each making the toy vibrate at varying speeds and intensity levels. The power behind these dueling motors can be overstated.

Anyway, the toy comes in either a soft black color or a neon purple hue. They both cost the same, but I feel as though the purple option is far more feminine. For those voyeuristic ladies out there, my suggestion is to get the violet version if you can because it just looks sexier. Either way, the perfectly rounded shaft of this Lelo love stick is ideal for easy insertion. So, no matter which choice you go with, it’s bound to be a pleasant ride.

It helps that this toy features that little clitoral stimulation nub too – something that I’ve not seen in the same capacity on any other female sex toy. It’s designed to pinpoint the pleasure center when the Lelo Soraya is inserted into the vagina, offering a well-rounded masturbation session that simultaneously satisfies both internally and externally. As mentioned, however, you can’t enjoy one or the other. These features must be used in tandem or the toy is basically worthless.

When used as intended, the gently curving slope of the shaft fits the female anatomy like a glove. It reaches the g-spot better than any lover I’ve ever graced with my presence. Meanwhile, the bullet-powered clit clapper starts doing its thing long before the entire shaft is inserted. So, if you’re not wanting full penetration you can still enjoy all this toy has to offer. What is that you ask? Allow me to explain:

  • It has 8 individually controlled, adjustable vibe settings that help you customize your experience with precision. Each of the settings are available in either the shaft of the clitoral nub.
  • It has a fully rechargeable battery which uses a standard USB cable.
  • The battery recharges at an unheard-of speed (just two hours for more than 4 hours of play).
  • It’s completely waterproof, so you know what that means: baths, showers, hot tubs, pools, it’s all good, baby.
  • It features a convenient travel lock to keep it from turning on accidentally while in your suitcase or handbag.
  • It has an easy-to-use push-button power interface that’s located on the bottom on the shaft, right where your trembling hands will be when you cycle through the various settings.
  • It also provides an ergonomic finger loop at the bottom to make handling a piece of cake. I especially liked this feature because it allowed me to twist and rotate the toy with ease.
  • It’s got 4.1 inches of circumference, or as I like to call it, girth.
  • It has 5 total inches of insertable length on its 8.5-inch body, which gave me more than 3 inches of handle space to manipulate this bad boy any way I saw fit.
  • It contains absolutely no latex, phthalates, or rubber, offering a completely body-safe experience that produced zero side effects.
  • In fact, it’s made primarily of medical-grade silicone (and a little bit of hypoallergenic plastic).
  • The shaft is hard and rigid, but the clit nub is flexible – the perfect combo in my humble opinion.

Fun features are what make a sex toy great, and the Lelo Insignia Soraya is lacking very little. I won’t lie; I’m a big advocate for products that are made to support healthy couple’s play and this thing certainly doe not fall into that category. However, I still don’t think there’s anything wrong with a little alone time if you know what I mean.

What Comes in the Box?

At first glance, the box that contains the Lelo  Soraya is rather unremarkable. It’s well designed but features a life-sized picture of the toy. I really wish the manufacturers would stop doing that. First of all, I know what’s inside because I bought it. Secondly, I value my discretion. It’s a good thing I wasn’t forced to use the box as storage or else that might have been embarrassing.

Inside the telling container are the following items:

  • The Lelo Soraya Luxury Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator (or course)
  • A standard USB charging cable
  • A satin, drawstring storage pouch (thank God)
  • A small packet of personal moisturizer
  • A 10-year warranty registration card

I’m still not sure why the maker decided to provide personal moisturizer instead of a lube sample, but regardless, it was nice to have. Vaginal dryness is not something you want to battle while using an insertable vibrator, trust me. And while you don’t get any toy cleaner either, the waterproof design of this thing makes it easy to maintain with just a little warm water and antibacterial soap.

TIP: Let the toy dry fully before putting it into the satin storage pouch because satin is not a breathable material and a wet toy can grow mold. Yuck!

Lelo Soraya Review: How It Feels

I’ll do my best to adequately describe how the Soraya feels. The girth of the shaft is certainly conducive with that full feeling we all know and love, but without that clit massager the toy would feel relatively ordinary. It was the combined effect of all the toy’s parts that gave me the sensations I was looking for.

Luckily, the silicone didn’t produce any of pesky drag that some other materials do. I wouldn’t suggest using this toy without plenty of water-based lube, but if you’re running low it won’t pull the skin or create too much friction. In fact, the material is smooth enough to suffice a good session with just your body’s natural juices.

In addition to all that, the power of the dual motors was extraordinarily strong. The range between the lowest setting and the highest one was wide, and they were all impressive. There’s very little delay between functions too, which meant it was easy for me to cycle through the options without having to exercise the patience I don’t have. Overall, it was a smooth ride from start to explosive finish.

The Cheers and Jeers

I don’t get anything for singing the praises of the sex toys I review, nor do I reap any consequences for talking smack. That means I can tell the God’s honest truth and fear no repercussions. I plan to do just that, and nobody can stop me. I’m a fan of this toy, but that doesn’t mean I thought it was flaw free.

While there are no perfect products on the market (yet), the Lelo brand is known for their production of sturdy, robust, and powerful sex toys. This thing did not become the exception. I’ll start by pointing out the things I liked about it and then move on to my inevitable complaints:

PROS

  • The Long and Short of It – The toy charges fully within two hours or less, but it can be played with for four hours of more.
  • Giving the Finger – The convenient finger loop at the base of the shaft is a nice design touch; I wish more handheld vibrators had that feature because lubed up hands make a toy like this really hard to control.
  • Get It Wet – Can we all just agree that waterproof toys are the absolute best? Like, why aren’t they mandatory by now, especially when no electricity is needed?
  • She’s Got Curves – The slightly upturned shape of the Soraya makes it super easy to hit the g-spot with every thrust, at least in my experience. Of course, all g-spots are in a different place, but that finger loop makes it so simply to locate it quickly.
  • Float Your Boat – With a long, extremely flexible, vibrating clitoral nub, this toy tweaks the twat like a pro.
  • Variety Is the Spice of Life – Eight vibe functions may not be the most variety I’ve ever seen, but they’re distinct and powerful and that’s really all a girl wants.
  • Assault and Battery – I beat the hell out of my Soraya for hours and the battery power was super strong the entire time. Looks like I can stop spending my entire paycheck on AAs now.

 

CONS

  • All or Nothing at All – You have either use the shaft and clit nub together or leave the toy in the box because one doesn’t feel as good without the other.
  • So Lonesome – Unfortunately, it’s sort of difficult to use the Lelo Soraya with a partner.
  • Lube Limits – Since the manufacturer used silicone as the main material, you can only use water-based lube with this toy.
  • Spend that Money, Honey – As one of the more expensive handheld rabbit vibrators I’ve encountered, it’s a good thing this toy comes with a 10-year limited manufacturer’s warranty.
  • Get in There – I had to insert the toy about 2 ½ to 3 inches inside my vagina before I could even start to feel the vibes from the clit nub.

My Final Verdict

The Lelo Soraya is a solid sex toy with lots of positive attributes and only a few minor flaws. While it may be somewhat expensive and require penetration to get a full effect, it certainly delivers an intense internal and external orgasm at the same time. I wouldn’t suggest using this toy if you’re playing with a lover unless, of course, they’re familiar with your body’s limits and ok with watching you squirm while nothing happens to them. In a world of long-distance, real-time, Bluetooth compatible masturbators, it will be interesting to see if the Lelo brand incorporates any of those features into the new and improved Soraya.

The We-Vibe Nova: An Amazing G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator For Women Who Like It Wild! + a Special Discount Code For Our Readers

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A good vibrator is hard to find. Or is it a hard vibrator is good to find? What about a firm yet flexible one that hunts down your g-spot better than Prince Charming hunted down Sleeping Beauty? This isn’t a fairytale, though; this is reality – a fine and fanciful certainty that’s going to the highest bidder. Thanks to advances in modern technology, that fantasy orgasm I’ve been searching for is finally possible.

You know what they say: Girls just want to have fun. Well, nothing is more fun than a using a well-made g-spot vibrator except maybe using one that’s high-tech and user-friendly. As it turns out, the We-Vibe Nova is all that (and a bucket of chicken). And while it may not be as fancy or expensive as some of the other sex toys out there, those qualities might actually be good things.

What Is the We-Vibe Nova Rechargeable App Controlled G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator?

As you may or may not have gathered already, the We-Vibe G-Spot Rabbit is a handheld vibrator, but it’s way more than what the relatively simple nomenclature might suggest. It’s an app-controlled sex toy with Bluetooth compatibility and it’s designed to solve the problem of losing clitoral contact while thrusting. But, if that doesn’t sound like a miracle of modern machinery, then listen up. The Nova is specially made for women like us who are sick and tired of lame and lazy vibrators with only one job description. In other words, this thing multitasks better than a stay-at-home mom with thirteen kids.

The Main Features

Perhaps the reason why the We-Vibe Nova is such a go-getter is the fact that it has so many impressive features. Aside from the uniquely arched arm that easily flexed with my body’s movements, the vibrating motors within it offered stout and steady stimulation to both my clitoris and my g-spot simultaneously. I’ve never got that kind of action with a standard penis, that’s for sure. Still, that tasty tandem stimulation is only half the story.

The Nova is also compatible with my smartphone via an app called We-Connect – a perk that’s been created and perfected by the We-Vibe folks who are responsible for making this marvelous masterpiece. The app-controlled feature allows for remote use and adds to the functionality of the toy. With 10 different modes of vibration, it was hard for me to imagine how its functionality could be improved upon, but it’s been done regardless. Not only do each of the vibe settings have adjustable intensity levels but, when used with the free app, can all be further tailored to my pussy’s prissy specifications. That’s a limitless variety of customizable patterns, ladies.

With all that power and variety, I figured the We-Vibe Nova would require bags of batteries, but the manufacturer has apparently thought of everything. This bad mamma-jamma is USB rechargeable in 90 minutes or less and provides a lengthy 2-hour play session with a full battery. Best of all, it’s super quiet, 100% waterproof, and made from silky skin-safe silicone. Oh yeah, and it has the following features as well:

  • A curved, ergonomic handle that fits snugly in the palm of your hand
  • A 5-button control interface on the handle for times when you don’t feel like using the app
  • Feel Technology and Feel Performer compatibility that allows for interactive sex sessions between lovers regardless of distance or location (a.k.a. the same technology used in Kiiroo products)
  • A base diameter of 1.25 inches
  • A circumference of 4.25 inches
  • An insertable length of 4.75 inches
  • No latex, rubbers, or phthalates

With a resume like that, it’s been difficult for me to find any flaws with this thing (although I was able to find a few that I will discuss shortly). For now, let’s just focus on the positive: The We-Vibe Nova is a (very) body-friendly sex toy that never needs batteries and can help you get busy with a lover on the other side of the world. Talk about a Globe Trotter.

What Comes in the Box?

Girls, don’t let the We-Vibe Nova box fool you. It may look like a cheap container, but there’s a lot of magic inside. Keep in mind, however, that I didn’t find any freebies like I usually do when I buy some of these other desperate sex toys out here. So, don’t expect any toy cleaners, lube samples, or fancy carrying cases with your purchase. In fact, I discovered little more than the basics when I opened up the box.

Here is what you get for the money:

  • The We-Vibe Nova Recharegeable App Controlled G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator (of course)
  • A magnetic USB charging cable
  • An instruction manual
  • A silky drawstring bag for safe keeping

While the drawstring bag served me nicely as a storage container, it certainly didn’t keep my Nova fully protected from the damage of falling objects and prying eyes. So, I chose to keep my toy in its original box when I wasn’t using it, albeit still inside the bag as well. Luckily, the box is compact enough to fit nicely in my bedside drawer so it’s still my dirty little secret.

How It Feels

I wrestled with a ton of graphic phrases to come up with one that would describe the We-Vibe Nova adequately, but none of them seemed to do it any justice. So, instead of settling on just one descriptor, I decided to be promiscuous with it because, let’s face it, that’s a whole lot easier. With all that said, the following 10 phrases are what kept coming to my mind when I was using the Nova:

  • “If the Easter Bunny was as awesome as this rabbit, I might have been more enthusiastic at last year’s celebration.”
  • “They say less is more, but ‘they’ must not have ever played with the limitless vibe functions of the Nova because this thing just blew that saying out of the water.”
  • “Is it possible for a woman to fall in actual love with an inanimate object?”
  • “I hope my lover doesn’t catch me playing with this thing alone because I’m pretty sure I’ve never moaned like this with them.”
  • “I wish my man’s dick could do that.”
  • “Now if I could just teach my lover how to tickle my clit AND stimulate my g-spot at the same time, we might not fight as much as we do.”
  • “How am I gonna get a full pussy and a happy clitoris without having sex with several people at once? This is a miracle.”
  • “This toy fits into my hand better than any dick I’ve ever held, plus it knows how to follow directions.”
  • “I’m sure glad I paid my phone and internet bills this month.”
  • “It’s too bad I didn’t learn how to use Bluetooth before now because this might have been easier if I had.”

As you can see from my internal monologue, I had a variety of mixed emotions about the We-Vibe Nova, but the majority of my thoughts leaned towards the positively astounded. It’s not that I haven’t tried a bunch of sex toys in my life, it’s just that most of the products I’ve used left much to be desired and didn’t impress me as much as this one did. I’m no newbie; I just know a good thing when I find it.

A QUICK COMPARISON

Comparatively speaking, the We-Vibe Nova Rechargeable App Controlled G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator stands apart from the competition in numerous ways. First off, it’s probably the most comfortable sex toy I’ve ever held, with a sleek and smooth handle that’s curved to match the shape of a human hand. Secondly, it makes most other sex toys look and feel like a joke because it’s feminine, colorful, and has virtually no limits on the types of sensations the user can create with the app. So, while the We-Vibe Nova is no where near the best thing since sliced bread, it’s certainly the butter on the bun.

CONCLUSION: When equated to some of the other app-controlled sex toys created by the biggest names in the industry, the Nova is likely responsible for the increasing popularity of the We-Vibe brand. Plus, it uses the same high-tech interface as the big wigs and functions in pretty much the same way (not to mention it’s a little cheaper than that expensive stuff).

The Cheers and Jeers

In my opinion, there are few things worse than a sex toy review that bolsters a product without keeping it real (like root canals, bad breakups, and herpes for instance). Yes, a product may be rather amazing but that doesn’t mean it’s without flaw. My experience has been one that’s continually revealed a steadfast rule in this industry: nothing is perfect, and most things have disadvantages that aren’t discovered until after you buy it. As frustrating as that is, it’s sort of just how it goes, unfortunately.

But, I feel your pain, believe me. Trial and error aren’t so great when you’re talking about expensive sex toys. In the words of the wise and wonderfully eloquent Kimberly “Sweet Brown” Wilkins, “Ain’t nobody got time for that.” So, without further ado, allow me to break it down for you.

PROS

  • Get in Shape – This thing is shaped in such a way that it curves up perfectly to the average female g-spot, slapping it around (gently of course) with every thrust.
  • No Limit Soldier – While most other vibrating sex toys boast 6-12 setting options, the We-Vibe Nova has no limits and can vibe it out with the best of ‘em.
  • Flexin’ and Sexin’ – Because this toy is somewhat flexible, it doesn’t feel like you’re being stabbed and even can be rotated to stimulate a hidden g-spot.
  • Sexy Skincare – Since it has no latex, rubbers, or phthalates, even users with sensitive skin need not fear the development of a rash (unless they’re nasty and forget to clean it when they’re done).
  • APP-le of My Eye – We all wished for app-controlled everything when cell phones and smart devices were rare, so I can see how app-controlled sex is the coolest damn thing on the planet.
  • Get High on Tech – Using Feel Technology and the Feel Performer interface made famous by Kiiroo, the We-Vibe Nova is all the buzz.
  • Size It Up – This toy is sized just right to resemble the length and girth of a real human penis without all the flaccidity and excuses.
  • Batteries Not Included – Thanks to the rechargeable motor, those expensive batteries can collect dust on the shelf as you save money and reach a proper climax.
  • The Price Is Right – Speaking of money, the Nova is slightly cheaper than other high-tech toys and it even come with a 1-year warranty.
  • Live Long and Prosper – Not only is this product extremely durable but its battery life is one of the longest in the industry, 2 hours of playtime for every 90 minutes charged.
  • Swimming in It – With a 100% waterproof design, I submerged the Nova in every bathtub, hot tub, shower, and pool this side of the Mississippi.
  • With or Without – While this toy is designed to work with the free downloadable app, the 5-button control interface makes it easy to enjoy the fruits of your labor without it.

CONS

  • Getting Needy – You have to have a smart phone or tablet to access the app.
  • Bills, Bills, Bills – The app requires a wi-fi connection or data plan to function properly.
  • Drain the Main Vein – Although the toy itself has a lengthy battery life, you smart phone or device may feel differently when you use it with the Nova.
  • Stay Connected – I experienced some connectivity issues depending on my location and the quality of my internet or data connection.
  • To the Window, to the Wall – Don’t get too carried away with the flexible shaft or you’ll knock down your pussy walls like I did.

The Final Verdict

Overall, the We-Vibe Nova Rabbit Vibrator is a well-made female sex toy that’s worth the money, worth the effort, and worth considering before you buy something else.

Lelo Hula Beads SenseMotion Remote Control Rotating Beads Review: Not Your Everyday Sex Toy

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It’s not always easy to find a good sex toy, especially as a woman. In a world full of crazy contraptions and male-focused masturbators, it’s sometimes hard to track down a product that will actually work without either a) breaking the bank, b) making you feel like you need a doctorate in engineering to use it properly, or c) embarrassing you with its bulkiness. I like the Hula Beads because they’re affordable, easy to use, and conveniently compact.

The Lelo brand is one of the best in the biz, with an inventory full of fine products that are specially designed to provide pleasure to the complex human body. They’ve got some amazing things for the ladies too, which is rare from a sex toy manufacturer with a solid rep because many of the brands out there tend to specialize their toys for one or the other gender. The Lelo stock does include masturbators for both men and women, but their Hula Beads in particular are constantly getting rave reviews by everybody. As an ideal toy for couples and solo artists alike, this item deserves the attention it’s been getting.

While there are plenty of cost-effective, user-friendly, and discreet sex toys on today’s market, it’s not every day that you find one with such a cute design. If you’re anything like me, then you want your toybox to be filled with adorable pieces that make you feel sexy when using them. The Hula Beads are not only operative but they’re also attractive, which isn’t exactly rare in the female sex toy arena. However, the unique way in which this toy is designed makes it a great find and an even greater investment (and it’s not too expensive either).

What Is the Lelo Hula Beads SenseMotion?

Put plainly, the Hula Beads are a self-contained group of rotating and vibrating globules that are housed by a skin-safe material which fits in the palm of your hand and is ergonomically shaped for a woman’s vagina. This hand-held, palm-sized vibrator glides in easily to deliver pulse-pounding vibes to your g-spot, or it can be used externally to stimulate your clitoris without insertion. Best of all, it’s controlled with a wireless remote that operates via user-friendly buttons or by using the brand’s SenseMotion technology (a fancy way of saying that it cycles through the various settings with a flick of your wrist).

Named after the hip-swirling Hawaiian dance, the Hula, this inspired toy for women swivels and rotates against the clit or the g-spot using a surprisingly strong motor that’s located in its base. While it twirls it also vibrates to create a full-bodied sensation. The two complimentary functions provide an inside-out orgasm that can be tailored to your body’s sensitivity level.