| Step 1: Fill balloons with warm water | |
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| Get about four or five popcorn balloons. Fill them with warm, not hot, water. Tie the ends so water will not squeeze out. This also works with hot water bottles. | |
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| Step 2: Roll a pillow put a plastic bag inside | |
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| Take a pillow; roll it up like a tube and tie a string around it or even use your belt. Push the warm water balloons into the opening of the pillow tube. Your fleshy warm vagina is almost ready. Take a small plastic kitchen trash can bag. Push it in between the balloons in the pillow. Put some lubricant of your choice inside the plastic bag that is being tightly squeezed by the balloons. | |
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| Step 3: Warm, tight, and slippery fake pussy | |
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| Get your dick ready. Put the pillow on bed. Put your dick inside this plastic vagina. You will feel the warmth, slipperiness and tightness you only dreamed of. If you are after the real deal though, as an alternative you may also check out our top pocket pussies. | |
| Next Toy | |
DIY
Clone A Willy Penis Molding Kit – Is This The Best Do It Yourself Sex Toy For Women?
Tired of hearing your man complain every time you use a dildo, whining because he feels like you’re cheating on him with a big, plastic dick? You can bet that nearly every sex-crazed female on the planet feels the same way.
However, women get in the mood at different times than their male counterparts, and someone (or something) has to handle business. Luckily, there are plenty of perverted innovators in the world to suffice for this relatively unspoken need.
The solution to the problem: a little thing called a Clone-A-Willy, and it’s exactly what it sounds like. Developed by a company based out of Portland, Oregon – a well-known American city known for it’s less-than-average population, Clone-A-Willy toys are unique, customizable, high-quality sex toys that can be made in the comfort of your own home. Even better is the fact that your man-friend won’t be able to say a word when he catches you using it because it’s molded after the shape of his own cock.
The Clone-A-Willy may seem like a new invention to most women, but the company has actually been around since way back in 1997 when the film industry needed penis replicas of varied shapes and sizes for an upcoming movie. Since then, these fabulously freaky fuck wands have been featured on TV shows and major motion pictures like “Neighbors” starring Seth Rogan. It’s becoming apparent that the ladies love these things, so you need to know what’s going on before you get accused of living under a rock.
Moving way past movie props and gag gifts, these things are now mainstream because women have discovered that they’re not only usable but also 100% safe (and effective, if you know what I mean). Comprised of body-safe, skin-like materials that are commonly used for medical and/or prosthetic purposes, the Clone-A-Willy is just what the doctor ordered, literally. So, for all you Pinterest-loving, DIYers out there, listen up.
The 411 on the Clone-A-Willy
Since Empire Labs’ inception, this ubiquitous sex toy has inspired an entire lineup of products centered on the idea that women deserve pleasure too.
For too long, men have had all the fun – pocket pussies, fake vaginas molded after famous porn stars, lifelike sex dolls, you name it. The time has come for the ladies to start being recognized as equally perverted people.
BONUS: You can get mad at your man all you want and never have to go without that good D ever again.
Now, some women might assume that making a realistic cast of her man’s junk is a difficult and complicated process, but the makers of the Clone-A-Willy have apparently thought of everything. The once expensive procedure is now easier than ever, requiring little more than a few supplies, 24 hours of patience, and a willing model. If you’re real concerned about your man feeling left out, the company also has a Clone-A-Pussy lineup for the fellas, but nobody wants to talk about that right now.
CLONE-A-WILLY PROMOTIONAL VIDEO
CLICK HERE TO FIND THE BEST PRICE ON THE INTERNET
The superiority of the Clone-A-Willy toy to the traditional dildo is apparent. The originality and functionality of it is obvious because, honestly, where else can you get a homemade dick stick without shamefully traipsing through an adult toy store? Each of the penis casting kits comes with everything needed to make a life-size replica of your favorite family jewels, and best of all it doesn’t hurt your man in any way (unless he has a ton of pubic hair, then he should probably shave that shit before applying the molding material to avoid a painful, involuntary bikini wax).
Furthermore, the end result is crazy detailed – veins, pores, hair follicles, everything. No wonder they’re the most popular option for women (and men) who are looking for realistic genital molds that don’t cost an arm and a leg. No previous casting experience is necessary either. Each kit comes with a set of full instructions as well as a few tips and tricks for the overachievers out there. The process is relatively quick and can be a lot of fun if you do it right.
What Comes in the Clone A Willy Kit?
The cloning kit contains a complete set of materials and tools needed for the job, including the following items:
- Body-safe silicone
- A bag of algae-based molding powder
- A molding tube
- An insertable vibrator (not even kidding)
- A set of instructions
Interestingly, the Clone-A-Willy kit comes in various colors based on the skin tone you’re replicating, so shit can get real with a quickness. If you’re more of an adventurous spirit, however, the company also offers neon and glow-in-the-dark colors as well. NOTE: You don’t have to use the vibrator if that’s not your cup of tea, but if you do then you might think about buying a refill package to ensure you have enough material to offset the displacement.
Designed to help you create an exact vibrating silicone replica of any penis, the people at Clone-A-Willy have made every effort to keep it fun and safe. Personalized cock casting has never been more enjoyable or risk-free, with materials that are medically tested and packaged in air-tight containers. And for ladies who are worried about domestic economics, the entire shebang is made and assembled right here in the good ole U.S. of A.
Clone A Willy Accessories and Extras
The fun doesn’t stop with a simple cock clone either. Empire Labs has developed a variety of perverted products that take curiosity and creativity to a whole new level. Take their cock rings for example. Each one is varied in size, customizable, stretchy, and flexible enough to fit the mold no matter what size it ends up being.
They come in several colors too, so coordinating it with your mold is a no-brainer.
The brand even has a penis pump as well, designed to help your man achieve a rock-hard erection before showtime. And even if he doesn’t use it for that, it’s fun to pump up the volume and recast later to track growth. Men love to brag about their dicks anyway but having life-sized replicas to compare is some next level shit.
Clone-A-Willy kits aren’t limited to only the shaft of the penis either. The company offers “Plus Balls” kits for that extra kick of realness. With everything being made from 100% platinum cured materials, you can wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am yourself into oblivion with or with your man being present and never have to worry about getting a nasty rash. If you want to mix things up a bit and make several molds with the same tube, simply buy a refill package, and go to town.
There are even some accessories that most women wouldn’t even think of as necessary, but they so are. From massage oils and playtime lip gloss to warming lubes and specially formulated toy cleaner, the brand’s website is like the Walmart of sex toys – a real one-stop-shop for your debauchery to-do list. What you won’t find, however, are ridiculously high prices. This brand seriously has its hand on the pulse of modern economics, with a cost-to-value ratio that deserves attention.
Look at their inventory and notice that you can get everything you need for under a hundred bucks, a price that’s much less than most dildos on the market today. They even have t-shirts, fanny packs, koozies, stickers, and temporary tattoos to browse. So, if you’re feeling like a fanatic after molding your man, you can shamelessly let the cat out of the bag with some sweet merch. Those items also make terrific gifts for your gal pals who haven’t yet discovered this miracle of modern technology like you.
Cocky Considerations
Getting the right mold of your man’s junk is designed to be a super easy process with these kits, but that doesn’t mean the process requires no skill or finesse.
Thankfully, the included instructions are well-written and concise, not to mention available in numerous languages. There are even provisions for dudes with curved penises, so you know the shit is intended for everybody.
At first glance, the inclusion of algae-based molding powder might be a turn off for some folks. However, the material is both gentle on the skin and easy to clean up after the molding procedure is finished. Derived from organic seaweed, it actually makes the dick softer afterwards. So, if your man is concerned about cock exfoliation and moisturization, let him know that the brand has him covered. The same goes for the ladies with the Clone-A-Pussy kits, so it’s smooth sailing for anyone who uses it.
The manufacturer recommends following the directions to the letter for best results, but that’s pretty much the case with any product on the modern market. With this shit, however, cutting corners is certainly a mistake and patience is definitely a virtue. The molds take no less than 24 hours to set up properly, so don’t get in too much of a rush. Furthermore, it’s important to let the cast sit in a cool, dry area to help it form up nicely. Hot or humid environments won’t help the cause one bit, so prepare a comfy and discrete spot ahead of time for the mold to do it’s thing.
Making (Not Breaking) the Mold
Keep in mind that the tube included in the kit is made to suffice for all sizes of penises, with dimensions totaling 11 inches by 2 ½ inches – plenty of room for nearly any man who’s not crossbred with a horse. However, that means you’ll have to do a few quick measurements before pouring the molding material inside, which of course should be done slowly to prevent unsightly and unrealistic air bubbles.
As expected, the back of the instruction leaflet features a mixing, pouring, and measuring guide to help you and your man determine how to get the best result and where to cut the tube.
The whole thing is well-designed and high-end, especially considering the decent price tag attached. Even the tools in the kit are hypoallergenic, with everything made from materials that are free from potentially harmful contaminants like phthalates, latex, or other toxins. The final product is this fully self-contained, spongy, flexible, realistic-looking mold of your number one member – balls and all (if you so choose).
The mold is easy to get out of the tube as well, at least for the most part. There may be some slight tugging required to bust it loose, just be careful not to tear the material when you do it. The manufacturer also recommended gently adjusting the penis while it’s in the mold to ensure it’s not touching the sides of tube. Any contact will leave thin or transparent spots once the material is done setting up, and nobody wants to deal with that shit.
It’s important to note, though, that dicks measuring 9 inches or longer might require some extra materials for best results. Cocks with serious girth may also require the extra-large 7-inch vibrator, but don’t worry. The brand offers those as well, and they don’t cost much more than the standard 5 ¼-inch version. Put simply, size always matters, but Empire Labs has made it a little less important.
Also keep in mind that the size of the vibrator you use will determine how much of the powder you’ll need. At the same time, casting a cock without inserting a vibrator will reduce the amount of supplies required. So, the choice is ultimately up to you. Luckily, the toy’s designer took extra volume into consideration when packaging the 8-ounce bag of molding material, so chances are you won’t need anything more than what’s already included in the kit.
Me So Horny
Your man doesn’t have to wait for his dick to go soft before ejecting it from the tube either. Using basically the same stuff that dentists use to make molds of teeth, the material sets up quickly and doesn’t stick to the skin whatsoever. In fact, it won’t stain clothes, furniture, or carpeting if it gets spilled. However, once the color is added, that might be a different story.
To add a skin-like, neon, or glow-in-the-dark color to your mold, first mix it with the clear base before pouring into the tube.
Try to do this over non-carpeted flooring while wearing clothes that you don’t mind fucking up. This is as complicated as the process gets, and it’s not even that bad. Furthermore, it’s best to add the color to the powder ahead of time so you don’t run the risk of making your man wait around too long while trying to keep his dick erect. Remember that the brand also sells cock rings, so use those bad boys to your advantage. Slap one around the base of his junk to keep him standing at attention while you handle your business.
He’ll need to stay erect for at least 60-90 seconds while his family jewels are locked up in the mold, so kiss his neck or some shit. If he goes soft or you mess something up, a whole new kit is not necessary. Simply purchase another bag of molding powder and try the shit again. If you do it right, you’ll have a non-porous, completely washable penis replica to sit down on within 24 hours. Best of all, the thing won’t shrink over time no matter how many times you use it or how bad you abuse it.
In fact, the makers of the Clone-A-Willy seem to think that their product will outlast you if it’s maintained properly. Using a good water-based lube is always important and cleaning up after yourself helps as well. While a warm soap and water mixture will do the trick, it’s probably best to spring for the brand’s patented cleaning solution just in case.
Safety First
For dudes with penis piercings and other unique cock characteristics, using the Clone-A-Willy isn’t a problem. They do suggest taking out any jewelry though, and that’s for obvious reasons. Uncircumcised dicks are welcome too. Regardless of what your man is packing, the kit will render a realistic replica every time. If done correctly, then what you put in will be exactly what you pull out.
As for dudes with tons of pubic hair, simply adding a little bit of petroleum jelly should prevent pulling, tugging, or impromptu wax jobs. He could also do a little manscaping if you can talk him into it, but either way is fine. Be prepared for those hair follicles to present themselves in the final product though. So, if he’s built like a bear, you’ll be fucking like an animal when all is said and done.
Regardless of how you do this or where it all takes place, cleaning up isn’t as big of a nightmare as you think. The material turns into a gel once it dries, so it’s easy to wipe it off from any nonporous surface. If you happen to spill a little on the carpet or a rug, don’t lose your mind. Just re-saturate the material with plain water and snatch the gel out by hand. It washes off of skin quickly and don’t leave a nasty film behind either.
Getting the Goods
Copping your cloning kit is made super easy by the manufacturing company who apparently knows the value of discretion. Each kit is shipped in a plain box marked only with the return address. This is strictly for return purposes only, as there is absolutely no indication of what lies inside the package.
Delivery time usually takes between 1 to 3 business days, so the entire process could be completed over the weekend if you place your order on time. Credit card and bank statements as kept discrete as well, with only the name of the company showing up on the receipt.
WHERE TO BUY CLONE A WILLY:
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The Final Verdict
Gone are the days of the men having all the fun. Clone-A-Willy and Clone-A-Pussy molding kits are gaining popularity faster than sex itself. If things keep going this way, the wonderful world of traditional dildos will have its work cut out for it – clamoring to cut off the competition like a loser in a fixed race. With so many possibilities and so much room for customization, who’s to say that women can’t make more than one mold? What her man doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?
This toy brings a whole new meaning to “Go fuck yourself.” It allows ladies to have as much fun as they desire without forcing them to use oddly-shaped, ill-equipped dildos that leave their men bitching, wondering, and feeling bad about themselves. Possibly considered the most revolutionary, at-home, DIY couple’s aid since the invention of the fifi, Clone-A-Willy toys are breaking the mold in all the right ways and putting the “master” back into “masturbation.”
Make Your Own Super Awesome Candy Corn Homemade DIY Dildo
Skip the mini chocolate bars and make something that’s really “fun size.” Use the instructions and recipe below to create these tasty and colorful sex toys made from real candy corn candy. While these toys are firm enough for penetration, we suggest you use them only as a decoration or edible treat. For an awesome self-pleasure we do and always will recommend the ones on our list of the top dildos.
Instructions For a DIY Homemade Dildo Mold:
Choose the sex toys that you want to use as the models for your homemade dildo, or create a form out of clay or some other material. We fashioned our butt plug form out of clay. If you’re using a real sex toy to cast the mold, don’t use a valuable one; it may get damaged in the molding process.
Select milk carton containers of an appropriate size for your toys, and cut off the tops. Make sure you have a couple of inches to spare when the toy is sitting on the bottom of the carton.
Grease the sex toys with shortening or vegetable oil for easier release from the wax. Position in the bottom of the cartons, making sure they’re centered.
Melt paraffin wax over low heat on the stove. The amount of wax you need will vary depending on the size of your toys and the mold. You can estimate beforehand by filling the mold container with water and measuring. One pound of paraffin makes about 2 cups when melted. We used about 4 pounds of wax for two molds.
With the toy or mold form on the bottom of the container, carefully pour in the liquid paraffin. Make sure the level covers the top of the toy by at least an inch or more. The wax will sink in the center as it cools, so this area will become thinner. Let cool overnight until completely solid and peel off the paper carton.
Using a knife, cut the wax block in half vertically. Heating the blade over a flame can make cutting the wax easier. Cut around the toy from all sides, then pry the two halves of the mold open.
Grease the inside of the molds with shortening or vegetable oil. Reassemble the two halves and encircle with rubber bands to keep the mold together.
Using the following recipe, make candy corn candy. This recipe makes enough candy for one medium dildo and one small to medium butt plug.
Ingredients:
1/3 cup butter
2/3 cup white corn syrup
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
Yellow and red food coloring
3 cups powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup powdered milk
Directions for a Candy Diy Dildo:
In a bowl, sift together powdered sugar, salt and powdered milk. Combine sugar, corn syrup, and butter in a pan. Bring to a boil stirring constantly to prevent burning. Turn heat to low and boil 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla. Add powdered sugar mixture all at once to pan. Transfer to Kitchenaid mixer and beat on high speed, or beat by hand until candy has the consistency of soft taffy. The candy should still be warm and pliable, but you must work quickly before it cools.
Remove enough to form the white portion of the finished candy and set aside in a bowl. Add yellow food coloring to the remainder to achieve desired shade. Remove a portion of yellow base for the orange portion, and add red food coloring to achieve the desired shade of orange.
Starting with white, drop the candy into greased molds using a spoon or spatula. Allow each layer to settle to avoid air pockets. Repeat with yellow and orange layers. Let candy set overnight before unmolding. For maximum firmness, chill in refrigerator for several hours.
When completely hardened, carefully unmold and wipe any residual vegetable oil off the surface. If using for penetration, dust with cornstarch to reduce stickiness and cover with a condom (putting anything sugary into the vagina can result in yeast infections).
HAVE BAD CRAFTSMANSHIP SKILLS? CHECK OUT THE BEST RATED HOMEMADE DILDO ALTERNATIVES BELOW:
BEST
- The nJoy Pure Wand
- Solid stainless steel G-spot dildo
- Double ended for variation of sensation
- Curved for precise stimulation
- Vixen Mustang
- Dual density shaft feels just like a real penis
- Curved shaft stimulates G-spot or P-spot with direct massage
- Raised head and veins enhance authentic sensations
- Vixen Johnny
- Ultra-realistic dual layered silicone dildo for thrilling internal pleasure
- Made from 100% non-porous platinum silicone for hypoallergenic play
- Solid inner core with soft outer feels just like a real penis
Body heat may cause the candy to soften.
We also strongly recommend you to check out Clone-a-Willy – An ultimate homemade penis molding kit.
Instructions On How To Make Your Own DIY Vibrator
Make Your Own Produce Homemade Vibrator
When looking for a handy sex aid, many of us turn to the produce aisle for inspiration, and a dildo or masturbation toy may be as close as the refrigerator or fruit bowl. While the humble cucumber and its comrades have served well, we’ve stepped things up a bit to bring you some more elaborate creations. With these you should have no trouble getting your daily five servings of fruits and vegetables.
A Note on Safety: Use common sense. Before playing with produce, wash it thoroughly with warm water and antibacterial soap. If you are inserting a produce item vaginally, we very strongly recommend covering it with a condom to prevent damage to sensitive areas, and to minimize risk of anything getting “lost” inside you. Do not insert anything pointy, like a carrot. Never, ever insert fruits or vegetables anally; they can become lodged in the rectum or lower bowel, requiring emergency medical attention and possible surgery to remove. If you are warming produce before use, submerging it in hot water is the preferred heating method. Use a microwave with extreme caution; the inside of items can become very hot and cause severe burns. Not following these guidelines may result in injury.
We recommend using waterproof vibrators to make these toys, or wrapping the vibrator carefully in a condom or plastic wrap secured tightly with a rubber band. Moisture seeping into a non-waterproof vibrator can cause damage to the device. Also, we firmly believe that these homemade creations can only serve as a temporary replacement for the top rated vibrators on the market.
Classic Cucumber DIY Vibrator
The cucumber is a time-honored favorite from the refrigerator. Here we’ve updated it with a bullet vibrator and a celery stick clit stimulator. Cut off the end of a cucumber and dig a hollow in it about twice as long as your bullet vibrator. Cut a length of celery about four inches long. About an inch from the open end of the cuke, cut a hole in the side just big enough to fit the celery. Push the bullet vibe all the way in, then insert the celery stalk, pushing it down behind the bullet. You’ll feel the vibrations deep inside while the celery ridges tickle your clit.
Papaya Pussy
The super slick flesh of this fruit combines with smooth slippery seeds creating a sensation you won’t soon forget. Select a ripe papaya long enough to fit your penis but small enough to hold comfortably in one hand. Cut a hole in the round end (not the stem end) a little smaller than your penis. Remove most of the pulp and loose seeds from the inside, leaving some attached to the sides to make “ridges”. The papaya is ready to use at this point, but you can also add vibration. At the stem end, cut a small hole through the meat of the papaya perpendicular to the tunnel and slide in a small bullet vibrator.
Cucumber-Melon Ball
This creation was inspired by a reader who suggested inserting a cucumber dildo into a melon base so it could be “ridden”. We’ve gone one better and added vibration and a second ridged cucumber for clit or anal stimulation. Cut two holes in a melon a couple of inches apart. Size the holes so that your cucumbers will fit in snugly. Cut a few inches off the end of a cucumber, carve ridges into the surface, and hollow out the base to fit a bullet vibrator. Cut a small notch in the base to accommodate the wire when the piece is inserted. Fit the bullet in place and insert the cuke section into one of the holes, then push the other whole cucumber into place in the other. This can be ridden facing either direction, with the vibrating element pressing against the clit or anal area.
English Cucumber Double Dildo
You and a friend can share your love of produce with this two-ended toy. Select the longest English cucumber you can find. One with a curve to it is ideal. Near the center of the cuke, carve out two small holes in which to insert your bullet vibrators. You can leave the vibrators sticking up a bit to nudge your clit(s). We added some textured jelly cock rings for extra stimulation.
Japanese Eggplant Wand
These elegant eggplants have many advantages as a sex toy – they’re long, smooth, slightly pliant, come in a variety of sizes, and are often gently curved. We installed a bullet vibrator by carving out a hollow near the stem end of the eggplant. As a clitoral tickler, we selected a frilly kale leaf. To insert the kale, poke a hole through the eggplant with a skewer or small knife and thread the kale stem through. A little vegetable oil “lube” can ease the way.
Bell Pepper-Asparagus Clit Vibe
In general, it’s best to stay away from peppers when making sex toys from food, but we made an exception for this sweet red bell pepper. To make this toy, carefully cut the bell pepper on the diagonal so that the “bump” inside below the stem remains intact. Remove all seeds and trim the inner membranes around the protuberance. With a corer or knife, cut around the stem and remove it, leaving the rest of the cap intact. Carve out a hollow where the stem was and insert a bullet vibe. For an optional anal tickler, cut a small hole below the vibrator and insert a sturdy stalk of asparagus with a base wider than the tip. The asparagus can rest against the anal area. We don’t suggest inserting it, but if you do, cover the entire toy with a condom in case the stalk breaks.
One Potato, Two Potato
This hefty yam promises to be mighty filling, while a small potato serves as a side dish. Cut an inch or two off the end of a yam or sweet potato. If the other end is pointy, carve it down and round it off. Use an apple corer to remove flesh from the inside of the yam, carving out a hole long enough and wide enough to insert a slim vibrator. This dual vibrator had an attached bullet, so we slipped that into a small Yukon Gold potato, also cored out. Pass the butter!
Zucchini-Carrot Combo
Zucchinis are a favorite alternative to the classic cucumber dildo. Here we’ve added some baby carrots for clit and G-spot stimulation. Cut a couple of inches off the end of a zucchini, carefully hollow it out, and insert a slim vibrator. Near the base of the zuke, make some small circular holes 1/4 to 1/2 inch in diameter. Cut off short lengths of baby carrots and insert into the holes. Adjust the height of the bumps depending on how wild a ride you want.
Starfruit Passion
This tropical fruit is just the right size and shape for an exotic sex toy. Select a starfruit that is underripe and firm. Cut a small hole in the stem end and hollow out a cavity just big enough for a bullet vibrator. Insert the bullet (if it’s not waterproof, you may need to cover it with plastic wrap to protect it from the juice). The starfruit’s ridges are perfect for gliding along your clit, and produce unique sensations when inserted.
Homemade Penis Size Measurement Tool: Check Out How Big Is Your Dick!
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Want to know how you measure up? We’ll teach you, using household items. (No ruler required!) Do the following tests, add up your points, and you’ll know if you have a huge cock or not. 1-3 points: You’re average |
| Measure Length: With a Sheet of Paper |
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| Step 1: Take a standard sheet of paper, 8.5 by 11 inches, and fold it in half like a book. |
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| Step 2: Compare the shorter edge of the folded paper to your penis. The length of that side is 5.5 inches.
Longer than the paper? Give yourself 1 point. We also recommend you to check out these penis enlargement devices. |
Laser Sword Sex Toys – Dildos
Here’s what you need: a toy laser sword with a retractable blade, a
brightly colored clear jelly dildo, a utility knife, and a mini LED
flashlight. Match the color of the flashlight to the color of the dildo if
you can.
With the utility knife, carefully cut a slot into the base of the dildos
deep enough and wide enough for the flashlight to fit inside. Be careful
not to cut too far toward the edges of the dildo or it will split in half.
Turn the mini flashlight on and insert it into the opening in the
base of the dildo, with the LED light pointing toward the dildos tip.
Insert fully until it is flush with the base of the diy dildo.
Insert the base of the jelly dildo into the opening in the top of
the laser sword. You need to choose a dildo that will fit snugly inside
this opening.
Your laser sword dildo is ready to conquer the galaxy.
Just turn out the lights and amaze your friends (and foes) with
this space age sex toy.
If you are not very good at craftsmanship, we suggest you to check out our list of the top dildos for 2018.
Homemade Joystick Vibrator
There’s something about an Atari 2600 that makes you feel warm and tingly all over. If you want to bring those feelings to the ultimate climax, follow these instructions to make a do it yourself vibrator out of your Atari controller.
We found a small, inexpensive and self-contained bullet vibrator that fit perfectly inside the case and whose switch happened to be very compatible with the button on the Atari 2600 controller. With a little wire, solder, and basic materials, you can build one of these units yourself and put even more joy in your joystick.
Materials and tools
- Atari 2600 joystick controller
- 1 self-contained silver bullet miniature vibrator with click switch
- 3 AG13 button cell batteries (these should come with the vibrator)
- Dremel tool with small saw and/or small grinder/sander attachments
- 22-gauge stranded connector wire
- Solder and soldering iron
- 1 battery contact (scavenged from another broken vibrator)
- Silicone household sealant
- Thin cardboard
- Wire cutter and wire stripping tool
- Scissors and Utility knife
Step 1: Disassembly
Remove the four screws from the base of the controller and open the case. Set aside the screws and the small spring that encircles the center post of the controller button. After removing the top of the joystick, pull the circuit board free and clip the wires leading to the outgoing jack. Extract the cord from the case and discard it and the circuit board, or save for other projects.
Step 2: Modifying the bottom of the caseThe top part of the vibrator, which houses the switch, needs to be seated directly below the controller button, so this corner of the case must be cleared.
Use the Dremel tool with the small saw attachment to cut down the center support post that is located under the button and cut out a section of the strut of plastic on the floor of the case next to it to make enough room for the vibrator top.
Make your cuts flush with the bottom of the case so the vibrator switch will sit flat. (If you don’t have a saw attachment, you can use a grinder for most of these modifications, although it will have to be small to get into some tight corners.)
The side of the screw housing (to the upper left of the support post in the photo) needs to be cut away to allow the vibrator switch to be centered beneath the controller button. Through trial and error, we ended up cutting about 2mm vertically off the side of the housing, all the way to the base.
Be sure not to cut all the way through the housing to the center hole, as this may compromise the integrity of the case.This is a tight corner, so use a light touch with the saw, otherwise you could end up unintentionally hacking up the inside of the case or cutting through the side or bottom of the case.
Sand all surfaces reasonably smooth with the Dremel grinding/sanding tip. The most important thing is that the bottom of the case where the vibrator switch will be seated is smooth, level, and free of burrs or irregularities.
The switch has to line up and be centered, so a small flaw can put it out of whack.Use the Dremel saw to saw off the tip of the support post in the very center of the bottom of the case. Four or five millimeters is probably enough. The cut should go straight across, providing a flat surface to support the battery contact, but it doesn’t have to be perfectly level.
The support post is surrounded by vertical struts. Cut a couple of these away to form a flat vertical surface to rest the wire/battery contact against.
Step 3: Modifying the top of the joystick
Now that you’ve made room for the switch, you’ll make room for the body of the vibrator. Remove the white plastic toggle from the inside of the joystick. It should pull out easily. Using the Dremel saw, cut all the way through the toggle about 1cm above where the vertical ribs start.
You should be left with a piece about 5cm or 2 inches long. Reinsert it into the rubber joystick housing. The vibrator will be pushed up into the space beneath it.
While we’re working on the top half of the case, you’ll also need to trim about 2mm all the way around the edge of the cylinder that the controller push button slides through when it’s in place.
The bottom edge of the cylinder needs to be shaved down so the push button can rest up a little higher when it’s on top of the vibrator switch, which you’re going to be positioning underneath it.
Use the Dremel to take off about 2mm, and make sure it’s level by reinserting the push button and seeing that the lower lip is flush all the way around.
Step 4: Prepping the vibrator
Open up the vibrator and remove the top and discard the red plastic protective strip (if it has one this is to keep the vibrator from being accidentally activated before purchase) and remove and discard the small black rubber O ring on at the base of the screw threads.
On the inside of the lid, locate the positive battery contact (the metal prong in the center). On the body of the vibrator, locate the negative battery contact (the metal strip coming up the inside of the case and peeking up just above the batteries.
Before you start soldering, you’ll need to do some prep work on the vibrator top (the switch housing). Turn it upside down to expose the battery contact and switch circuitry and use the Dremel saw or cutting tool to make two small notches in the rim of the vibrator case.
The connector wires are going to be going through these notches, so make sure they’re wide enough and deep enough that this part can sit flat on the bottom of the controller case with the wires in the grooves. (Although the vibrator case looks metallic, it’s actually plastic and cuts quite easily.)
Make one notch so it lines up with one end of the positive battery contact and the other notch in line with one of the small brass grommets 90 degrees on either side. (See photo)
Step 5: Wiring it up
Solder the negative lead wire to the negative contact on the body of the vibrator. Use a length of wire at least 6 inches.
Make sure that the bead of solder is on the outside of the case; if it’s on the inside of the case, it may interfere with changing the vibrator batteries in the future.
Take the free end of the negative lead wire, bend the exposed wire to a 90 degree angle and insert it directly into one of the brass grommets on either side of the positive battery contact on the inside of the vibrator lid.
Rest the insulated portion of the wire in the notch in the side of the case. (We recommend securing the wire in the notch at this point with a small dab of silicone sealant. Make sure you don’t get any on the contact or exposed wire itself, as this could mess with the conductivity.
Let it set just enough to hold before soldering.) Apply a small bead of solder to secure the end of the lead wire. Try not to melt the circuit board or the vibrator case (it is made out of plastic, after all).
Solder a battery contact onto one end of your positive lead wire (again, use at least 6 inches or more to give yourself room to maneuver), then solder the other end directly onto the positive battery contact, first lining the wire up so it rests in the corresponding notch in the lid.
Leave the end with the battery contact free for now.You now have the two ends of the negative contacts soldered into place, and one end of the positive lead soldered with the positive battery contact free.
You can test the circuit by pressing the positive battery contact against the batteries in the case (be sure it contacts the batteries only, and not the rim of the vibrator case, as this also completes a circuit and will turn the vibrator on). If you click the vibrator switch on and off, it should work.
Step 6: Putting in the vibrator
It’s time to start assembling the joystick vibrator. Get the silicone sealant and squirt a generous amount around the inside of the joystick shaft, around the top of the where the folds in the rubber begin.
Make sure you’ve already reinserted the cut toggle piece before you apply the glue. Insert the tip of the vibrator body and push it up slightly into the shaft of the joystick.
Keep this piece inverted while it dries (we set ours upside down inside a drinking glass). Support the attached wires and parts as necessary so the vibrator doesn’t get pulled out of upright position.
Step 7: Positioning the switch
Once the joystick dries, you can think about getting the switch into position. First, use the utility knife to cut away the rubber covering over the vibrator click switch.
This will reveal a small, square plastic post inside. Take the spring from the original orange controller button and slip it over the post. It fits very nicely and will keep the button lined up on top of the switch.Getting the switch positioned just right is a bit tricky, so do a test run first.
Put the switch in position in the corner of the case that you cleared out earlier. The wires should (obviously) be pointing out toward the center of the case. Make sure that the wires are situated in their notches and flush, and nothing else is impeding the switch sitting level on the bottom of the case.
Get all the wires inside the case so you’ll be able to close it. Don’t worry at this point about firing it up.Set the orange button on top of the switch by putting its center post into the top of the spring. It should stay in place, more or less.
Carefully set the upper half of the controller case on top of the bottom, positioning the vibrator/joystick over the center post and guiding the orange button into its cylinder, making sure it stays lined up with the vibrator switch and inside the spring.
Test the movement of the button by pressing and releasing it. If the controller button is lined up and able to move freely, the center post of the button should press down on the vibrator switch and engage and disengage it with each click.
If it isn’t lining up or is getting stuck, check to see if something is getting in the way of the vibrator switch centering beneath the button. If the button keeps getting stuck, or isn’t coming up all the way to release the switch, you may have to shave more off the bottom of the cylinder around it to give the button a greater range of vertical motion.
Once you’ve gotten the button and switch to line up so they work smoothly and reliably, you’ll need to glue the switch unit into place.
Squeeze out a circle of silicone sealant approximately where the switch is going to rest. Place the switch in the glue and press into position, then put the button on top of it and reassemble the case as you just did when you were testing it.
When you get the button and switch lined up so they work smoothly, put some pressure on the button (not too much or you’ll break the switch) and hold it in place long enough for the sealant to set. We suggest leaving the case together until the switch dries completely.
Step 8: The final contact
When the switch has dried, you can move on to securing the final piece of wiring, the positive battery contact. This will sit on top of the sawed-off center post in the middle of the controller case. Bend the battery contact at a 90 degree angle.
The end part should be as small as possible. This part is going on top of the post and will have contact with the batteries. The rest of the contact and the wire will lay vertically along the side of the post, against the flat surface on the side of the post where you whittled the ribs off.
Use a glob of silicone sealant on the top and side of the post to glue down the battery contact and wire. Set something on top of it if necessary to keep it in place while it dries.
Step 9: Case closed
After the glue has dried, make sure the top of the battery contact is clear and clean and if necessary, cut away any dry silicone residue that might be in the way.
In order to make sure the battery contact doesn’t accidentally touch the outside of the vibrator case (which would complete a circuit and turn it on unintentionally), we inserted a collar of thin cardboard around the inside of the battery chamber.
Now the case is ready to put together. Place the button in its cylinder in
the top of the case and hold it in place from the top as you guide its
post into place on top of the switch.
At the same time, position the body
of the vibrator (in the joystick) so it presses down onto the battery
contact in the center of the case.
Close the case completely and make sure
that the orange button is operating smoothly, turning the switch and the
vibrator on and off. Replace the four screws in the bottom of the case.The controller should be ready to fire up. Just press the button. We recommend covering the joystick with a condom if you intend to use it for vaginal or anal insertion. As an alternative, you can check out our list of the best vibrators on the market and get a special deal.
Handy Household Sex Toy Tips
Sex toys aren’t just for fun in the bedroom – they have many practical uses in your home and office. Here are a few suggestions for repurposing some of your favorites. Pull out those long forgotten toys and put them to work!
Buttplug Doorstop
Protect your walls from unsightly marks. A silicone buttplug mounts easily on the baseboard and won’t mar the paint on your door.
Fake Pussy Beer Cozy
Slip a stretchy vagina masturbation toy over your bottle to keep your beer cold and your hands dry. Bonus: every time you take a swig, you get a faceful of pussy.
Rabbit Vibe Hand Blender
Use a Rabbit Vibe to mix up a single serving smoothie right in your glass. The rotating motion of the shaft blends the ingredients. Also works great mixing hot chocolate or pureeing cream soups.
Nipple Clamp Eyeglass Keepers
A practical fashion accessory for the naughty librarian in your life.
Double Penetrator Coat Hooks
Closet too small? Mount a DP dildo anywhere you need an extra place to hang coats or hats.
Handjob Candle Holder
Lifelike Cyberskin masturbators can make unique candleholders. These handjob simulators lend your décor a touch of the surreal, à la Jean Cocteau and the Addams Family.
Penis Extension Handlebar Grips
Worn out the handlebar grips on your bike? Soft, grippy Cyberskin penis extensions give your hands the ultimate cushioning against shocks and bumps while cycling. Feel pure comfort, not the road.
Anal Bead Dipstick
When your oil level gets down to the first two beads, it’s time to fill up on lube.
Car Vacuum/Blow Job Machine
Any mini-vac can hoover up the crumbs on your car upholstery, but this one will suck you dry too. Conveniently plugs into your car’s cigarette lighter.
Cock Ring Napkin Holder
A daring yet elegant look for your dinner table. Martha would approve.
Buttplug Drain Stopper
Rubber sink stoppers are always getting lost. Next time you need one, stuff a buttplug in the drain hole. Keep a variety of sizes on hand for your different drains.
Cock Ring Cable Keeper
Unruly computer cables? Snap this on and keep them subdued.
Buttplug Winestopper
To keep an opened bottle of wine from going bad, stick a buttplug in the neck. A slender beginner’s model works best.
Double Dildo Keyboard Wrist Rest
Cushion your wrists and keep them in proper typing position by resting them on a soft jelly double dildo. Many different lengths are available to fit your keyboard size.
Fake Pussy Mouse Pad Wrist Rest
A velvety soft Cyberskin pussy male sex toy can provide ergonomic support for your hand and wrist while mousing.
Pumpkin Goo Pussy
Step 1: Fill a plastic bag with pumpkin goo
Scoop the slimy goo from the inside of your pumpkin. Pick out the seeds if you have the patience. Put it in a plastic bag, like the kind you get at the grocery store for produce.
Step 2: Insert the bag into the tube An empty pl 
astic canister for tennis balls or hand balls is perfect. Slide the bag in and leave the end hanging out, and fold over the outside of the tube.
Step 3: Make a cover and cut a hole 
Place a piece of plastic wrap or another plastic bag over the top of the tube. Pull taut and secure with a rubber band. Cut an X in the center to make a hole for your cock to fit in.
Step 4: Slide your cock in
Slide your cock into the slippery pumpkin goo and pump away.
Tip: Warm in the microwave for 10 seconds.Tip: For less mess, after step two, insert a second plastic bag into the pumpkin-filled canister and secure around the top of the tube. Squirt some lube inside the inner bag. As a more professional alternative, we suggest you checking out these toys.
Tips On How To Make Your Own DIY Homemade Fleshlight Sex Toy
Materials
- Empty potato chip can
- Foam rubber (approx. 9”x9”x1” or 9”x18”x1/2”)
- Condom
- 1 ¼” O-ring
- Scissors
- Marking pens
E
mpty the chips out of the can. You can use whatever brand and flavor you prefer, but we like the one shown here for the container’s ergonomic shape and durable, colorful plastic. Lay out the foam and trim to fit the length of the container if necessary. The length of the foam can be up to a half inch longer than the length of the can.
Unroll the condom and drop the O-ring inside. If you use a lubricated condom, turn it inside out first, so the lube is on the inner surface.
Lay the condom along the foam with the open end slightly above the edge, and mark across where the O-ring lays in the condom. Cut the foam into two pieces along this line.
Roll up the smaller piece of foam and push it into the bottom of the can. Lay the condom against the shorter edge of the other piece of foam so that the tip and the O-ring are hanging over one end and the open top of the condom is hanging over the other. Roll up the foam with the condom inside. The O-ring should be flat against one end of the foam roll, and the top of the condom should be sticking out of the center of the other end.
With the scissors, make a nick in the tip of the condom, just enough so some air can get through. Insert the foam roll into the chip container, making sure the open end of the condom stays above the top of the foam. Leave about ½” of foam above the rim of the can.
Use a nail or screwdriver to poke a small hole on the side of the can near the bottom.
If desired, use a pink or red marker to draw a vagina or lips on the foam around the center hole before covering the foam with the condom.
Carefully stretch the condom around the rim of the can and over the lip so it covers the foam. The lip of the can will hold the condom in place.
To use your homemade fleshlight toy, squirt some water-based, non-greasy lube into
the condom and insert your penis. Cover the hole in the can with the tip of your
finger to control the amount of “suction” you get. Closing the hole will
increase the suction, so leave it open as you stroke in, and cover it on the out
stroke.
Remove the foam roll and replace the condom after use (or rinse and reuse, if
you’re really cheap). Use a textured condom turned inside out for more
stimulation. Because the condom has a small opening on the end, the foam at the
bottom of the can will periodically need to be replaced.
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When stored with the lid on, the homemade flashlight can be conveniently camouflaged as an innocent can of potato chips (the can on the left has an advantage because its lid is opaque).. However, you need to release the edge of the condom
from the lip of the can before you put the top on. If the condom is stretched
around the top when you put the lid on, the lid will cut through the thin rubber of the condom. Leave the top of the condom loose, push the foam in, and cover
with the lid. To use, just pop the top, pull the foam out a bit, and restretch
the rubber.DIY Fleshlight feels awesome!
Once you realize how good it feels we suggest you to go with the original top fleshlight toys as they are more convenient and do not even cost that much these days.
Sex Toy PC Case Mod
Let’s face it: being a dedicated gamer can be lonely. Sure, you have your Everquest clan or your Quake buddies, but communing with fellow gaming geeks doesn’t fulfill certain needs. At the same time, it’s hard to tear yourself away from the computer long enough to chase tail and engage in archaic but obligatory mating rituals. Now you don’t have to leave your true love behind. In fact, you and your PC are about to get closer: much, much closer.We created this case mod to give the truly hard-core gamer an appropriate outlet. Do you love your computer? Really, really love your computer? Now you can satisfy your passion for PCs and your passion for pussy at the same time. How’s that for added functionality?
We took a off-the-rack gamer’s PC case and modified it by installing a fake pussy and accessories to enhance the user experience. We decided a lube dispenser would be crucial, as would a supply of Kleenex and a handy place to toss them. Plus it would be nice to have a place to hold beverages, and a stash of jerk-off magazines or porn DVDs. Finally, inspired by those small parabolic mirrors that many cube-dwellers place on their monitors so they know when the boss is sneaking up on them, we decided to add a rear-view mirror, so you won’t get caught with your pants down.
We started by removing the case’s side panels and drilling holes in them to bolt on our additions. We chose the right side panel for the lube dispenser and trash receptacle, since we assumed most users would be right handed. If you’re left handed, of course, you can place these on the left-hand side. For the lube dispenser, we used a bicycle water bottle cage, which was held in place by two 9/64 screws and nuts. When drilling through the metal side panels, we placed them on top of a two inch board to provide backing for the drill bit, and to keep the metal from warping. On the same side as the water bottle/lube bottle cage, we drilled a hole to bolt on the plastic waste container, which we got from the auto supplies department. We bolted both of these in position.
On the opposite (left) panel, we drilled a large (3/8ퟀ) hole to insert the stem of the rear view mirror. We used a bicycle rear view mirror with a flexible stem. The stem originally had a fitting attached for mounting on the end of a handlebar, which we removed previous to installation. However, we kept the screw that attached the fitting. After inserting the mirror stem through the hole in the panel, we replaced the screw, leaving the screw head slightly raised to hold the mirror stem in place inside the panel. The flexible stem of the mirror allows the user to position it either to see if there is anyone standing behind them, or to angle it down to watch himself in action as he’s pumping into the fake pussy.
The unit on top of the case is a plastic car caddy that is secured with two screws in the base. We drilled two holes in the top of the case, one of which was slightly off-center due to the construction of the unit’s
compartments.
After removing the plastic faceplates on the drive bays, we measured the inside dimensions of the drive bay space and cut a block of Styrofoam to fit snugly inside. From this block of foam, we hollowed out a space that would accommodate the fake pussy. The fake pussy we chose for this project is Jesse Janeퟀ�s Intimate Passages. This unit is made from soft, fleshlike Cyberskin material and has two internal passages, vaginal and anal. It also comes with a removable battery-powered bullet vibrator. We chose this model of fake pussy because its size and squarish dimensions coincided nicely with those of a standard PC drive bay. Since the fake vagina and ass takes up the entirety of the drive bay space, it will be necessary to install an external drive, but this is a small price to pay for having a premium pussy in
your case.
After cutting the pussy compartment into the foam, we cut a hole in the back of the foam, both to provide a space to accommodate deeper thrusting, and to thread through the control unit and wires for the vibrator. We covered the foam with black duct tape, both for protection and for appearance. After inserting the pussy in the foam block, with the vibrator wires and control unit extended through the back hole, we positioned the unit in the drive bay. At this point the vibrator controller was on the inside of the case.
We decided to bring the vibrator controller out through the front of the case, through the 3.5ퟀ drive bays. In order to do so, we had to file a small notch in one of the face plates to accommodate the wires. After replacing the face plates, the wires were securely positioned, and we added an adhesive cable keeper on the left side of the case to keep the controller out of the way until needed and keep the wires
from getting tangled.
After reassembling the case, we stocked the unit with a bottle of water-based lube, caffeinated soft drinks, a Kleenex box (you can use wet wipes if you like), and some skin mags. Of course, most users may prefer to watch online porn or DVDs for inspiration; space in the top caddy can alternately be used to store porn DVDs. If this is too much for your taste however, we suggest you to check our page of top sex toys for men where you may select an alternative for this beast.
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