Dildos have been around for centuries. In fact, modern-day archaeologists recently uncovered mounds of homemade dildos and male masturbation devices buried deep in the ground beneath countless ancient cities. The best estimates give these prehistoric sex toys an age of about 5,000 years, but it has become increasingly apparent that our people have been seeking sexual gratification for much longer than that.
In an effort to assuage our insatiable appetites, we as a people have invented some pretty interesting things over the course of history. The unburied relics mentioned above included male masturbators made from stale bread and dildos fashioned out of chalk. Speculators shutter at the very thought of what else might be hidden just beneath their feet, but I find solace in the fact that we’ve come a long way since the embarrassing days of self-pleasure.
Now, we’re all privy to some pretty amazing products, including dildos that are no longer made out of common household items. From hyper-realistic, skin-like models to fantasy-based dildos crafted out of a single piece of metal, there’s no longer a concern about health, wealth or sexual wellbeing when modern-day sex toys are in the picture. And among the most popular of the bunch: Glass dildos, of course. What else, something made out of animal bones? That’s already been done before.
- The Definition of a Glass Dildo
- The Top 5 Advantages of Using Glass Dildos
- The Top 5 Things to Look for in a Good Glass Dildo
- 5 Amazing Glass Dildos to Consider
- The Icicles No. 24
- The Tracey Cox SuperSex Glass Dildo Set
- The Motörhead Bomber Black and Gold Rock Hard Glass Dildo
- The DOMINIX Deluxe Glass Dildo with Leather Flogger
- The Icicles No. 7 Doubled-Ender
- 5 Tips for Picking Out the Perfect Glass Dildo
The Definition of a Glass Dildo
You probably know what a dildo is at this point, and it’s doubtful that you’re confused about what glass is. So just combine those two ideas and you’ll have a pretty good concept of what a glass dildo is all about. They function exactly the same way as a regular, realistic dildo but they’re made from a specialized material that changes the game tremendously. And while that may seem impossible for a product that’s been used and abused for millennia, it’s true that modern-day science has dipped its wick in the sexual health bucket many times.
As a result, we now have hypoallergenic glass dildos by the dozens and manufacturers don’t seem to be slowing down on production. Maybe it’s because they’re handsome and useful, maybe it’s because those qualities have made them popular, or perhaps it’s due to something else entirely. The way glass dildos get created is almost orgasmic in and of itself, although glass dildos are nothing more than glass-based sex toys that are designed to produce pleasure to the human body through penetration of the genitals. Sounds pretty basic, right?
Fans think that it’s the innate simplicity of a good glass dildo that makes it so highly sought-after. I believe it’s a combination of that and the fact that glass dildos generally outlast every other kind of sex toy available to us. Durable, safe, user-friendly and typically cost-effective, high-quality glass dildos stand as a testament to mankind’s perverted ingenuity if nothing else.
The Top 5 Advantages of Using Glass Dildos
At first glance, the elegant simplicity of a glass dildo may mislead some people into thinking it can’t do much in the way of producing intense sexual pleasure. Well, those people are not only wrong but they’re also about to miss out on some of the best sex of their lives. So, while certain sex toys definitely have their merits in the bedroom, glass dildos take things to a whole new level despite their relative straightforwardness.
According to the average user (and sexual health experts too), high-end glass dildos can provide least five amazingly satisfying advantages to your sex life:
- They Are (Usually) Rigid
Unlike the life-like dildos that feature materials which look, feel and function like real human skin, glass dildos not only look like sex toys but they also perform in a unique way. Usually unable to bend, glass dildos provide an extra hard sensation during vaginal and/or anal penetration – the likes of which could be extremely helpful when seeking the g-spot or p-spot of a squirmy lover. And that same innate rigidity of glass dildos makes them virtually indestructible too.
- They Work Well with All Skin Types
Dildos that are made to look, feel or function like a real human penis are amazing. However, the materials that manufacturers are forced to use to pull off the realism can be dangerous to some crotches. And while most of the best dildos on the planet are comprised of skin-safe stuff like silicone, PVC plastic, TPE or even stainless-steel, glass dildos offer the same hypoallergenic benefits while also being incredibly easy on the eyes (and the budget).
- They’re Compatible with All Lubes
Hypoallergenic and haute couture factors aside, glass dildos are also a convenient product to have on board when you’re dealing with conflicting lubrication preferences. Because glass dildos are compatible with all skin types as well as all personal lubrication types, it’s easy to incorporate these user-friendly sex toys into your bedroom routine without causing any allergic reactions, skin irritations or riots to break out.
- They Promote Temperature Play
Glass dildos have the unique ability to generate a pleasant surprise that’s not nearly as shocking as the surprise given by its stainless-steel or skin-like counterparts. Glass in innately responsive to temperature, meaning your glass dildo can perform gentle miracles during playtime. Heat it up or cool it down (as directed by the manufacturer, of course) and you’ll soon be experiencing things you never have before.
- They’re Often Harness Compatible
A good glass dildo will not only be friendly to your skin type and/or lube stash, it will also perform well under the pressure of your favorite harness or strap-on. Granted, skin-like dildos and stainless-steel models are often harness compatible too, but if you use one of those instead then you don’t get all the other advantages mentioned on this list. It’s a tough choice but somebody has to make it, champ.
Keep in mind, however, that none of the things I’ve talked about can be enjoyed unless you purchase yourself the best possible glass dildo on the market. And while said market is indeed flooded with hundreds of viable and initially appealing options, it’s impossible to find what you’re looking for if you don’t have a couple guidelines to get you there.
The Top 5 Things to Look for in a Good Glass Dildo
Picking out the perfect glass dildo is no easy feat by any stretch of the imagination. Not only do we have hundreds of sex toy manufacturers to sift through, but each one of them makes a myriad of products that differ in some peculiar way from the competition. It can be rough out there as a modern-day consumer, and the clever advertising campaigns don’t help matters one bit.
Studies have proven that the average person shops with their eyes, meaning they desire or purchase items based on how attractive they are presented. It’s a tale as old as time: Even in the Garden of Eden, wasting her inheritance on something that looked pretty. Not all that glitters is gold, little children. It’s time for you to start shopping like an adult.
To step off on the right foot with this new “adulting” concept, let’s begin with the top 5 things you should look at or consider when shopping for your first (or next) glass dildo:
- The Size
When it comes to selecting the perfect dildo, regardless of what it’s made out of, the size thereof matters quite a bit. It’s an especially important consideration depending on where/how you plan to use your new sex toy – meaning vaginally or anally. Larger glass dildos are typically marketed towards vaginally inclined users, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use one on your bum if the mood strikes. Just make sure the size is ideal for you and/or your partner’s body type and nobody gets hurt (unless they want to).
TIP: Be sure to know the difference between the dildo’s total length and insertable length, as they’re two completely different measurements with totally unique purposes.
- The Overall Shape
Your first thought when you hear the words “glass dildo” might be of a large shaft-like object in the shape of a human penis, but those days are over. No longer are sexually frustrated consumers restricted to dildos that look like dicks. These days, we’re allowed to choose between all sorts of things, and many of our options look nothing like the human anatomy. All you have to do is select the glass dildo which has a shape that’s suitable for your unique body. If that requires something futuristic that’s curved at a 20-degree angle, then so be it. The point is to pinpoint the sweet spot, after all.
- The General Features (and the Special Ones Too)
Exploring the features of any glass dildo is probably the most enjoyable part about shopping for one. The variety here is so diverse that it’s nearly impossible to compose myself while I write this. Just look for the kinds of features you’d like to have on an ordinary dildo – raised veins, undulating shaft, pronounced head, balls, etc. And if those things don’t do it for you, search for the things you prefer because they’re available. Keep in mind, however, that glass dildos should feature an extended base and/or secure grip for maximum user safety.
- The Manufacturing Quality
Now that you’re shopping like a grown-up, it’s important to understand that not all glass dildos are made the same. Not only are there countless manufacturers but there are also numerous manufacturing methods. Needless to say, some of the glass dildos out there show off their makers’ cut corners. Look for a glass dildo that doesn’t have any seams down the side of the shaft, and while you’re at it, check to see exactly what kind of material they used to form this “glass” monstrosity sitting before you.
- The Compatibility
As mentioned, some of the best glass dildos on the market are compatible with harnesses and strap-ons, allowing you and/or your lover to enjoy a little hands-free action from time to time. And while this is a relatively new concept in the glass dildo arena, it’s still possible to find one that’s right for your sex life. In fact, most of today’s top-notch glass dildos are made to be used in a group setting if nothing else.
5 Amazing Glass Dildos to Consider
Now that you know what to look for and what to avoid, it’s time to get down to business. Here are five incredible examples of what a glass dildo should be:
The Icicles No. 24
This unique work of masturbatory art is a glass dildo lover’s wet dream. It’s 6 inches of elegant curves and stimulating veins, nubs and bumps that juice your genitals into quick submission while providing ample space for you/your partner to hold on tight. As one of the world’s best-selling sex toys, the Icicles No. 24 glass dildo has become a force to be reckoned with.
The Tracey Cox SuperSex Glass Dildo Set
What’s better than one amazing glass dildo with the perfect shape, size and texture? Two amazing glass dildos with the perfect shape, size and texture, of course – only this pair fraternal, not identical. The pink twin is 7.25 inches long with a girth of 4.5 inches, while the second clear one is sized right at a thick 8.25 inches long with a girth of 3.75 inches. Both come packed together in a sex satin storage bag too. Ooh la la – the perfect gift for some kinky couple’s play.
The Motörhead Bomber Black and Gold Rock Hard Glass Dildo
As unique as you and your partner are, it’s surprising that all your sex toys don’t look and perform like the Motörhead Bomber. Not only does this one-of-a-kind glass dildo include a detachable silicone display stand for when it’s not in use, but the damned thing also comes with a satin storage bag to boot. This thing is made out of temperature-responsive, shatter-resistant borosilicate glass and shaped like a missile, with a tapered tip and a bulbous body for maximum stimulation. A handsome 5 inches of insertable length and a 4.75-inch girth, the MB does not miss its target.
The DOMINIX Deluxe Glass Dildo with Leather Flogger
This specimen is the perfect accessory for those who like to engage in a little BDSM with their sex toys. The Dominix Deluxe features a leather flogger on the end, but that’s just where the party gets started. It has an extremely bulbous tip (ideal for both vaginal and anal play) and it offers a series of vein-like ridges running down the shaft too. So, not only is this thing a terrific toy for dominance enthusiasts, it’s also ideal for regular perverts who just like their glass dildos to make a statement.
The Icicles No. 7 Doubled-Ender
As if owning an amazingly crafted glass dildo wasn’t enough, this double-ended masterpiece provides twice as many stimulation options in one convenient package. Shaped realistically on one end and featuring a uniquely twisted shape on the other end, the Icicles No. 7 double dong is a dynamic duo of epic proportions. For example, it offers a superb 9.5 total inches of insertable length from either end; its girth is a generous 4.5 inches of submersible, hypoallergenic fun. You get the drift?
5 Tips for Picking Out the Perfect Glass Dildo
Having some guidelines and even being given a few recommendations is only useful when you know yourself better than the marketers do. Here are the top five things you need to find out before selecting your favorite glass dildo:
- Are you and/or your partner sensitive or allergic to any kind of material, including certain types of glass?
- Do you have a specific size you’re looking for? If so, why?
- Is this your first time using a dildo, glass or otherwise?
- Do you prefer clitoral stimulation over penetration?
- Are you afraid of being penetrated too deeply or stretching your orifice too much?
- What are you and/or your partner’s intentions with this new glass dildo of yours?
- Do you plan to use it vaginally, anally or both?
- Are you familiar with the rules of temperature play?
- How well will this new glass dildo become incorporated into your existing sex routine?
- Will you be playing with it by yourself, with a partner or as part of a group?
- How often do you think you’ll whip it out for sex or masturbation?
- Do you think you can afford it?
- Does it require any special cleaning or preservation supplies?
- Do you have the right kind of lube on hand already?
One Final Word
Glass dildos are a hypoallergenic, g-spot attacking, temperature-responsive, virtually indestructible alternative to the life-like dildos that don’t quite fit the bill. With the right one, you and/or your partner can enjoy a completely new type of foreplay and masturbation without having to worry about skin sensitivities, allergies or lube preferences. And since even the best glass dildos are surprisingly affordable and even more surprisingly easy to maintain, it’s no wonder why millions of people in the modern world currently own one – which is way better than having half the population carving fake dicks out of chalk, isn’t it?