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Halloween Sex Toys

Have some old fashioned
pumpkin fun this Halloween.


Laser Sword Dildo

Wield your dildo as it
glows in the dark


Silence Your Vibrator

Tips for how to muffle the buzz.

 

Make Your Own Produce Vibrator

When looking for a handy sex aid, many of us turn to the produce aisle for inspiration, and a dildo or masturbation toy may be as close as the refrigerator or fruit bowl. While the humble cucumber and its comrades have served well, we've stepped things up a bit to bring you some more elaborate creations. With these you should have no trouble getting your daily five servings of fruits and vegetables.

A Note on Safety: Use common sense. Before playing with produce, wash it thoroughly with warm water and antibacterial soap. If you are inserting a produce item vaginally, we very strongly recommend covering it with a condom to prevent damage to sensitive areas, and to minimize risk of anything getting "lost" inside you. Do not insert anything pointy, like a carrot. Never, ever insert fruits or vegetables anally; they can become lodged in the rectum or lower bowel, requiring emergency medical attention and possible surgery to remove. If you are warming produce before use, submerging it in hot water is the preferred heating method. Use a microwave with extreme caution; the inside of items can become very hot and cause severe burns. Not following these guidelines may result in injury.

We recommend using waterproof vibrators to make these toys, or wrapping the vibrator carefully in a condom or plastic wrap secured tightly with a rubber band. Moisture seeping into a non-waterproof vibrator can cause damage to the device.

Classic Cucumber Dildo

The cucumber is a time-honored favorite from the refrigerator. Here we've updated it with a bullet vibrator and a celery stick clit stimulator. Cut off the end of a cucumber and dig a hollow in it about twice as long as your bullet vibrator. Cut a length of celery about four inches long. About an inch from the open end of the cuke, cut a hole in the side just big enough to fit the celery. Push the bullet vibe all the way in, then insert the celery stalk, pushing it down behind the bullet. You'll feel the vibrations deep inside while the celery ridges tickle your clit.


Papaya Pussy

The super slick flesh of this fruit combines with smooth slippery seeds creating a sensation you won't soon forget. Select a ripe papaya long enough to fit your penis but small enough to hold comfortably in one hand. Cut a hole in the round end (not the stem end) a little smaller than your penis. Remove most of the pulp and loose seeds from the inside, leaving some attached to the sides to make "ridges". The papaya is ready to use at this point, but you can also add vibration. At the stem end, cut a small hole through the meat of the papaya perpendicular to the tunnel and slide in a small bullet vibrator.


Cucumber-Melon Ball

This creation was inspired by a reader who suggested inserting a cucumber dildo into a melon base so it could be "ridden". We've gone one better and added vibration and a second ridged cucumber for clit or anal stimulation. Cut two holes in a melon a couple of inches apart. Size the holes so that your cucumbers will fit in snugly. Cut a few inches off the end of a cucumber, carve ridges into the surface, and hollow out the base to fit a bullet vibrator. Cut a small notch in the base to accommodate the wire when the piece is inserted. Fit the bullet in place and insert the cuke section into one of the holes, then push the other whole cucumber into place in the other. This can be ridden facing either direction, with the vibrating element pressing against the clit or anal area.


English Cucumber Double Dildo

You and a friend can share your love of produce with this two-ended toy. Select the longest English cucumber you can find. One with a curve to it is ideal. Near the center of the cuke, carve out two small holes in which to insert your bullet vibrators. You can leave the vibrators sticking up a bit to nudge your clit(s). We added some textured jelly cock rings for extra stimulation.


Japanese Eggplant Wand

These elegant eggplants have many advantages as a sex toy - they're long, smooth, slightly pliant, come in a variety of sizes, and are often gently curved. We installed a bullet vibrator by carving out a hollow near the stem end of the eggplant. As a clitoral tickler, we selected a frilly kale leaf. To insert the kale, poke a hole through the eggplant with a skewer or small knife and thread the kale stem through. A little vegetable oil "lube" can ease the way.


Bell Pepper-Asparagus Clit Vibe

In general, it's best to stay away from peppers when making sex toys from food, but we made an exception for this sweet red bell pepper. To make this toy, carefully cut the bell pepper on the diagonal so that the "bump" inside below the stem remains intact. Remove all seeds and trim the inner membranes around the protuberance. With a corer or knife, cut around the stem and remove it, leaving the rest of the cap intact. Carve out a hollow where the stem was and insert a bullet vibe. For an optional anal tickler, cut a small hole below the vibrator and insert a sturdy stalk of asparagus with a base wider than the tip. The asparagus can rest against the anal area. We don't suggest inserting it, but if you do, cover the entire toy with a condom in case the stalk breaks.


One Potato, Two Potato

This hefty yam promises to be mighty filling, while a small potato serves as a side dish. Cut an inch or two off the end of a yam or sweet potato. If the other end is pointy, carve it down and round it off. Use an apple corer to remove flesh from the inside of the yam, carving out a hole long enough and wide enough to insert a slim vibrator. This dual vibrator had an attached bullet, so we slipped that into a small Yukon Gold potato, also cored out. Pass the butter!


Zucchini-Carrot Combo

Zucchinis are a favorite alternative to the classic cucumber dildo. Here we've added some baby carrots for clit and G-spot stimulation. Cut a couple of inches off the end of a zucchini, carefully hollow it out, and insert a slim vibrator. Near the base of the zuke, make some small circular holes 1/4 to 1/2 inch in diameter. Cut off short lengths of baby carrots and insert into the holes. Adjust the height of the bumps depending on how wild a ride you want.


Starfruit Passion

This tropical fruit is just the right size and shape for an exotic sex toy. Select a starfruit that is underripe and firm. Cut a small hole in the stem end and hollow out a cavity just big enough for a bullet vibrator. Insert the bullet (if it's not waterproof, you may need to cover it with plastic wrap to protect it from the juice). The starfruit's ridges are perfect for gliding along your clit, and produce unique sensations when inserted.

 

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