Sex Toys

 

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Laser Sword Dildo
Wield your dildo as it
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Build Your Own Sex Doll

Want a custom sex doll, but don’t have $7,000 to shell out? No problem. You can build one with off-the-shelf parts for a fraction of the cost. Is this the ideal love doll or Bride of Frankenstein? We’ll let you be the judge.

Some Assembly Required

Lifelike dildos and pocket pussies used to be the limit of realistic sex toys, but innovations like Cyberskin started a proliferation of body parts in adult toy stores. You name the appendage and chances are some porn star has theirs immortalized in rubber. We wouldn’t be surprised to see Jenna Jameson’s tonsils or Tera Patrick’s appendix for sale. We decided to take things to their logical conclusion. What would happen if you put all these parts together and tried to build a person? We constructed both male and female versions, but there’s no reason you couldn’t mix it up any way you want to suit your needs and desires.

An Arm and a Leg…and a Dick

Here’s a brief overview of some of the sex toy body parts available and what we used. One challenge is getting the relative sizes of all the parts to match, because it’s often hard to tell the scale from photos. Using products molded from real people is more expensive, but guarantees that the parts will be life-sized and not Lilliputian.

  • Mouths: As far as we know, you can’t get an entire synthetic head to use as a sex toy, which is just as well, because fucking a decapitated head would be creepy. However, you can get a blowjob simulator in the shape of a lifelike male or female mouth, alone or with a chin and nose (which is still kind of creepy). The male and female mouths we got were pretty deluxe: the female had an optional tongue stud, and the male had a moustache, which shed tiny hairs all over everything.

     

  • Breasts: You’ve got two choices here – huge or ginormous. And beware, these babies are hefty and will make your love doll top heavy. Make sure you’re really getting breasts modeled from a real woman, otherwise they will probably not be life-sized.

     

  • Hands and Arms: For those who enjoy fisting, Doc Johnson offers the most realistic hand/forearm models, one in a clenched fist and the other in the “duck bill” hand position. Both are more suited to a male doll. We did find a smaller female fist, and some Cyberskin hands for jerking off. Since these toys are right hands only, your love doll may look slightly deformed, but it’s not too noticeable.
     

       

     

  • Vaginas: The best fake pussies are Cyberskin. Some vaginas include an anus also – sort of a vaginanus. These can be difficult to place on a doll so that both orifices are accessible, so we recommend getting the pussy and ass separately. We used a handheld masturbator with a realistic vaginal opening.
     

     

  • Penises: The selection here is humongous – no pun intended. Any size, color, or material is easy to find. We recommend dildos with a suction cup base, because it gives you more options for attachment. We chose a basic rubber model and used the base as an anchor.
     

     

  • Asses: There aren’t any complete tushes that we’re aware of, but you can get some with at least partial buttocks attached, and like we said, sometimes there’s a vagina thrown in as well. Or balls, if it’s a male ass. We found it easier to deal with just the anus on its own, i.e., a masturbator with an anal orifice, for placement and anatomical correctness.
     

     

  • Feet: One of the strangest sex toy mutations we’ve ever seen is a masturbator shaped like a woman’s foot, with a fuckable vagina on the sole. Yes, a vagina on the sole of the foot. You’d think a pair of these would be ideal for this project. But when we got one out of its box we realized there were two problems: The feet are about 4 inches long and 5 inches tall. And they’re all right feet. We hunted down a realistic foot fetish product - “Serenity’s Little Piggies” – a set of rubber feet cast from a porn star. They look like Uma Thurman’s hoofs – large and bumpy – but that meant they can work for both male and female models.
     

Many dildos have vibrators built in, and a lot of the mouth, vagina, and butt masturbators also have insertable bullet vibrators. We left them out so we wouldn’t mar the dolls’ looks with cords and controllers, but you can incorporate them as desired, just be careful not to get caught in the wires.

Making Mister (or Miss) Right

Once we had all the individual parts, we had to install them in some sort of “chassis.” A rigid mannequin probably isn’t your ideal cuddling partner, but it works, it’s durable and will support a lot of weight. Fiberglass mannequins are easier to find, but more expensive and harder to modify, plus you run the risk of inhaling fiberglass particles when you cut into them. So we got a couple of plastic dummies and cut holes for the body parts we needed to place, using hacksaws, jigsaws, and utility blades. The hollow inside of the mannequin was filled in with foam padding as needed for support. If you just want the basics, you can buy a torso mannequin. Top it off with a wig in your choice of style and color.

Strike a Pose

We got our two models together for a photo shoot, and as you can see, they really hit it off. In fact, they were so hot for each other, their chemistry literally got out of control and some of their parts started melting. The problem: Cyberskin and some types of rubber are not compatible – when they come into contact, both materials start breaking down into an oily substance. So we had to separate our lovebirds. A human partner probably won’t cause this kind of meltdown, but to be safe use only water-based lubes with toys, and keep Cyberskin and rubber toys from touching.

 

 

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