Weird Toy of the Week: Octopenis

octopenis.jpgWell, now we know what fucks an Octopussy. Or is this the monster that inseminated Octo Mom? The Octopenis simultaneously evokes Jules Verne, tentacle porn, Japanese woodcuts and netsuke, and Spongebob Squarepants.

Let’s clarify: this dildo is not a representation of the actual penis of an octopus, although I’m sure there are folks out there who would be into that too. (Actually, the mating habits of octopi are very interesting. The male octopus’ left third tentacle is its penis, which sometimes detaches after sex.)  The Octopenis is also not an eight-membered dildo, although that could make for some amazing group sex.

Rather, it’s an octopus holding a penis, with the octopus’ head standing in for the balls, and its tentacles wrapping around to form some hefty ridging on the already thick 7.5″ shaft. If you don’t mind a cephalopod staring into your crotch, go ahead and plumb your depths with this aquatic creature, while indulging in mermaid or Squiddly Diddly fantasies.   

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Despite the fact that Ron Taylor is quite the character, there is one thing he has in common with everyone else: he likes a high quality sex toy just as much as the next guy.
Noticing that there were no legitimate websites out there reviewing all the amazing synthetic vaginas on the market, John James set out to do something about it. After all, it is painfully obvious that today’s men really need to know more about their options.