Dildos

Wouldn’t it be nice if all dildos were the same? You could just run to the store or hop online and get what you wanted without any fuss.

Unfortunately, it’s not like that in the modern world, and there are more choices than any one woman knows what to do with. However, there is an upside to that challenge: variety is the spice of life.

Among the plethora of plastic penises, there are some that are far better than the others. The reasons for their superiority aren’t always clear at first glance, but synthetic erection experts understand the different between quantity and quality. Rest assured, such a discerning eye isn’t something you can develop overnight.

Still, it only takes some careful consideration to separate the good from the bad and the ugly.

In fact, a dildo worth your time and money isn’t as hard to come by as you might think. With so many reputable manufacturers out there vying for your pussy’s attention, someone’s got to have the key that unlocks the flood gates.

So, instead of thrusting yourself into a mindless treasure hunt in search of the cream of the crop, use this concise buying guide instead.

But first, let’s quickly go over what a dildo is and what it isn’t.

The Top 5 Best Dildos On The Market In 2021:

Now that all the homework is done, it’s time to play. Below are the top five dildos on the market today, arranged in no particular order so you know there isn’t any hidden agendas.

It’s just straight-up information, recommendation, and vindication, nothing more.

Check these bad boys out before you miss the boat:

1. The nJoy Pure Wand

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Made for ladies who nJoy simplicity, the Pure Wand doesn’t even look like a dildo but it functions like the best of them.

Curved to fit a woman’s body and provide direct stimulation to her g-spot, this bad boy is also ideal for p-spot play and can even function as a simple muscle massager.

It features a gleaming medical-grade stainless steel body that’s smooth and non-porous, making it friendly with water and all types of lube. And while it may not be the most realistic thing you’ve ever stuck inside you, it’s certainly bound to be one of the most satisfying.

MEASUREMENTS: Nearly 8 inches of insertable length with 5.5 inches in circumference

SPECIAL FEATURES: Double-ended for a customizable combination of sensations and experiences, weighted for substantial pressure on erogenous glans

PROS: It comes in one of the sexiest satin-lined presentation boxes known to man, and that box is meant to double as a storage container for the device plus a small bottle or packet of lube.

Furthermore, the Pure Wand is temperature responsive thanks to the VixSkin material

CONS: It’s lacking the realism that some women prefer in a good dildo and it’s not compatible with any harnesses or strap-ons (yet).

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2. The Vixen Mustang

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You can’t even look at this brightly-colored yet realistic dildo without getting a lady boner. The Vixen is a dual density kaleidoscope cock that may look like the rainbow but runs like a wild mustang (hence the name).

With a suction cup base that secures its super lifelike penis form, the VMD has become famous for being one of the most whimsical sex toys on today’s market. And playful or not, this flared-based fun stick is all about getting down to business.

The Vixen has an undeniably authentic texture that’s made from a patented VixSkin material and it utilizes a revolutionary solid core that’s surrounded by a pliable outer covering, giving the whole shebang that telltale human-like penis quality.

MEASURMENTS: A full 7.5 inches of insertable length with 5 inches of girth

SPECIAL FEATURES: Rare, unique and inspirational, expertly weighted for exceptional g-spot and p-spot stimulation

PROS: It’s one of the more realistic dildos on this list, with a curves shaft, raised head, and strategically placed veins for enhances realism and boosted sensations.

Plus, the VixSkin material is temperature sensitive and the whole thing is compatible with countless strap-on harnesses (and completely waterproof too).

CONS: It doesn’t have any balls, and it could be too heavy for some users.

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3. The Vixen Johnny

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If realism is what you’re looking for, then the Vixen Johnny may be the perfect dildo for you. Sculpted after a ridiculously good-looking penis, this silicone sex slave features a dual-layered shaft to give it that authentic erection quality.

With a bulging corona and texturized balls for an ever more hyper-realistic experience, the jolly Johnny unapologetically attacks the g-spot and/or p-spot of its victim.

Using the Vixen brand’s patented VixSkin material, this soft yet non-porous penis is wonderful, waterproof and hypoallergenic too (meaning it won’t cause a rash if you use enough water-based lube).

MEASUREMENTS: A cozy 7 inches of insertable length with 5.75 inches in circumference

SPECIAL FEATURES: Temperature sensitive, non-slip flat base, compatible with almost every interchangeable harness on the planet, suitable for vaginal and/or anal play

PROS: It’s soft and flexible while also being firm and durable. When used properly with a harness and plenty of water-based lube, Johnny feels a lot like a real boy.

CONS: There’s no suction cup on the base, making it difficult to enjoy hands-free play without a willing partner or compatible harness. Plus, it doesn’t come with a storage container either.

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4. The Vixen Bandit

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Beware: The Vixen Bandit could steal your heart and rob you of every latent orgasm you’ve never experienced. This relatively realistic dildo for women is shaped to stimulate the g-spot as nature intended, with a slightly curved shaft, a tapered head, and carefully placed veins.

Ideal for ladies who like to slowly build toward climax, this authentic-looking cock features soft, wrinkly balls that rest atop a flat base.

Compatible with most strap-on harnesses and perfect for the bath or shower, the Vixen Bandit remains infamous in the sex toy industry for its innate intensity and insanely accurate ingenuity.

MEASUREMENTS: A full 7.5 inches of insertable length with 5.5 inches of girth

SPECIAL FEATURES: Hypoallergenic and waterproof, tapered head to make insertion and removal more comfortable

PROS: It can be easily heated or cooled at will, plus it offers all the realistic penis features you’d want in a regular-use dildo.

CONS: It’s packaged in a clear, plastic container that looks like something a gas station sandwich comes in, plus it’s not the most lightweight dildo on the scene.

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5. The ElectraStim Bi-Polar Electrosex Wave

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This magnificent metal dildo is in a league of its own. Created from polished steel using a central acrylic isolator, this high-tech honey looks nothing like a penis but functions like it was made for the human body.

Sexy, sophisticated and ergonomic, this sleek and wavy little thing can be instantly transformed into an e-stim device with the push of a button.

The continually cool exterior adds to the pleasure provided, and it even has 7 insulating rubber rings at the bottom of the device to ensure the most robust sensation from each and every pulse that gets generated from the compatible electrosex power unit.

MEASUREMENTS: An acceptable 5.5 inches of insertable length with 3.5 inches in circumference

SPECIAL FEATURES: Layers of insulating acrylic deepen and intensify e-stim sensations, rigid shaft prevents injury and damage

PROS: This is one of the better e-stim dildos on the modern-day sex toy market, with a shaft that’s large enough to stimulate the g-spot and/or p-spot of any human body.

CONS: The ElectraStim EM60-E Flick Single Output Stimulator needed to turn this bad boy into an e-stim dildo is sold separately, and so are the required pads and conductive lube.

In other words, ownership of this device may get expensive if you don’t know what you’re doing. Oh, and this one isn’t waterproof (duh).

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BONE-US: The Clone-a-Willy (Medical-Grade Algae-Based Silicone)

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Relatively new to the dildo scene is the already famous Clone-a-Willy. This 100% customizable sex toy is made by you through the molding of your favorite partner’s private parts, but that’s not all.

The crafting kit also comes with an optional vibrating bullet for the center of your creation which, surprisingly, can comfortably accommodate dicks as large as 11 inches in length and 2 ½ inches in girth.

You can pick your favorite color for the molding powder or keep it realistic as well, which is super easy considering it makes a Hollywood-grade cast of the cock in less than 24 hours.

Furthermore, it’s super durable, hypoallergenic, easy to clean, and perhaps the most innovative sex toy on the market thus far.

KEY FEATURES: Fully customizable, vibrating (optional), waterproof, hyper-realistic

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What in the World Is a Dildo? No, Seriously.

At least once in our lives, we’ve all probably called someone a dumb dildo when they acted like an idiot, but if we knew what we were saying we’d probably call them something else.

Considering a dildo is a magnificent penis shaped pussy poker that’s designed explicitly to provide pleasure, using the term as a derogatory one might not be as much of a sting as we think it should be.

Although the average dildo doesn’t look exactly like a penis, they’re ergonomically suitable for vaginal or anal insertion and they come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes. In fact, some even light up.

What they don’t do, however, is vibrate (at least not by themselves). So, don’t get a dildo confused with a vibrator because then we’ll all be confused.

Typically, you’ll find dildos made from various materials including silicone, rubber, glass, plastic, metal and jelly.

The best part is that these toys are ideal for both girls and boys – gender-friendly and open to interpretation.

A well-made version can last for decades, if not longer, and tends to be among the easiest toys in the industry to clean. So, without further ado, let’s get into some heavy petting.

Things To Consider That Will Help You To Find The Best Dildo For Your Pleasure

Since dildos can be used in several ways, it’s important to find one that suits you and your partner’s needs. And while these genitalia-resembling toys are most commonly used for manual masturbation, that’s not where their resume ends.

Interestingly enough, a good dildo can do so much more than just thrust your twat or butt.

Some folks like to use them for foreplay, as gags, or to brush up on their oral sex game. For real though, dildo.

So, depending on your intended uses, the right one can make a big difference in your ability to enjoy the moment. When searching, look closely at the following 5 characteristics:

SIZE

In general, dildos are sized based on their length (or width) and diameter (or girth). Just remember that, while size definitely matters, it’s not the most important factor when deciding on which toy to buy.

Bigger isn’t always better, believe it or not. Simply consider the size of your last partner and go from there. If the last person to fuck you had a thick, 9-inch dick and it felt amazing, then by all means go for something larger.

However, if your last partner came swinging a moderately-sized wang and it was enough, opt instead for a smaller dildo with a suction cup at the bottom to prevent slippage.

Keep in mind that the total length of some dildos is not exactly how far it can be inserted into your body. Just because a dildo is advertised as 10 inches doesn’t mean you’ll be getting all of that up in ya.

Furthermore, the girth of your chosen toy will be hard to fathom without a quick finger test. The average finger is between ½-inch and ¾-inch, meaning if you can fit two fingers inside you then you should go for a dildo with a girth of about 1 ½ to 2 inches just to play it safe.

However, if you’re looking for a bit more stretch, don’t be afraid to venture towards the fatter dildos which range between 2 and 3 inches in diameter.

TIP: Be sure to use plenty of lube, especially if you’re going for a tight fit. Stretching can be a lot of fun, but tearing, not so much.

SHAPE

The shape of your dildo matters quite a bit, if not more than the size of it. Many models are designed specifically to stimulate specific parts of the body or to train your holes for bigger and better things, so keep that mind when shopping around.

Several dildos are made to help the men and women who use them get used to the size before taking the whole thing. Enter: the tapered toy – a dildo that starts out small and then gradually gets wider the further down the shaft you go.

Shape is also important for the type of orgasm you’re looking for. Dildos are designed to stimulate the g-spot, the clitoris, the perineum, or the prostate, with some of them having attached balls, clitoral tabs, and curved forms to suffice your sexual needs.

Buying a straight dildo is great for those who enjoy a good thrust, but it won’t do much for people who need their sweet spots massaged. On the other hand, bent toys are terrific for customized pleasure but are usually smaller, less thick, and more tailored to the bodies they’ll be in.

TIP: It’s possible to get a good dildo for stretching AND sweet spot stimulation if you buy one with all right features.

FEATURES

While dildos come in all shapes and sizes, they also have features which make them stand out from the competition. Although many look and function the same, they’re not all created equally.

Aside from having various curvatures, lengths, and widths, many dildos have unique textures and detailing that make them ideal (or not) for a variety of users.

For example, ribbed or studded toys tend to offer more of a stimulating entry and exit while smooth textured dildos are designed for simplistic thrust and pull parties.

Moreover, dildos shaped for the expressed purpose of reaching your g-spot or p-spot are a feature all on their own. Knowing what each dildo is designed for will ensure you get the most bang for your buck. And while standard dildos don’t usually offer vibration, there are some models that do.

Most of those vibrating dildos feature numerous vibe functions as well as life-like heads, shafts, and balls to make the experience as real (and surreal) as possible.

You might also find a dildo that warms to match your body heat – a relatively new invention by the most innovative manufacturers in the industry.

Furthermore, there are dildos out there that have suction cup bases which support hands-free play. They can be attached to chairs, floors, walls, and sides of shower stalls to ride like a pony.

Not only do the best among these types stay put even when the going gets rough, but they also allow you and your partner to get handsy while thrusting freely on the shaft.

Of course, there are always the famous double-ended dildos that are perfect for some super kinky partner play, but those are self-explanatory and not recommended for folks who are new to the whole fake dick thing. And of course, how can I forget the mind boggling ejaculating dildos?

TIP: Be sure to buy a waterproof dildo if you plan to take it to the shower with you. Not all dildos are water-friendly, especially the ones with included vibrators.

MATERIALS

While you may be thinking that any old dildo material will do, you’re wrong. In fact, the difference between plastic, silicone, glass, metal, and rubber is so great that you’d be hard pressed to get the same experience out of them all.

Although rubber and silicone dildo versions are the most popular, the variety doesn’t end there. Be sure to carefully consider the type of sensation you want before spending any money.

Usually, silicone is the most desired material in these sex toys because these are not only the most realistic dildos but also seamless, nonporous, latex and phthalate free, and hypoallergenic.

They’re also the toy most likely to have insertable vibrating bullets, suction cup bases, and lifelike balls. That option may be your safest and sexiest bet, but don’t be afraid to venture out a bit.

Even though glass tends to scare some people away, breakage never occurs and they’re super smooth, not to mention ultra-easy to clean.

Oh yeah, and glass dildos can be quickly heated or cooled to your liking, so there’s that.

While both silicone and glass dildos have extremely long shelf lives when maintained properly, perhaps the most durable material is metal.

Rubber and plastic are much more pliable, but metal is extra efficient at stimulating the G and P spots.

Metal can also be warmed or cooled easily and some of them even come with their own detachable vibrating bullet. The choice is yours, so choose wisely.

TIP: The type of material you choose will determine the kind of lube you can use.

CLICK HERE TO FIND THE BEST QUALITY DILDOS ON THE INTERNET

GENDER ASSIGNMENT

Here is something you should write down while you’re at it: dildos are not interchangeable with the vagina and anus. Men who use a dildo shouldn’t buy one designed for women, and women using a dildo shouldn’t buy one designed for men.

Furthermore, once that bad boy is inserted into your hole, that’s the one and only hole it should go in.

Also keep in mind that vaginal models usually aren’t designed for easy removal because they bottom out at the cervix and take care of that themselves. Anal dildos aimed are typically aimed at men and don’t work the same.

Inserting a dildo into your anal cavity and having it travel too far can ruin a perfectly good evening.

Purchase a toy that’s made specifically for your intended uses and never swap back and forth with it unless you want a nasty infection.

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TIP: Buy a dildo that’s relatively easy to clean and maintain so it lasts longer, allows you to do more, and keeps you from worrying about awkward rashes and impromptu visits to the emergency room.

Selecting the perfect vibrating dildo can be a pain in the ass – literally in some cases. However, it doesn’t have to be that way anymore, especially not with this crazy cowboy in town. I welcome you all to the Self-Taught School of Sex. Today’s lesson: Buying the Best Vibrating Dildo. You better ace the quiz at the end.

The Definition of a Vibrating Dildo

Vibrating dildos, or “vibe dongs” as I like to call them, come in many shapes and sizes. To understand what a vibrating dildo is, though, you first have to know what a dildo itself is (and isn’t). Put simply, a dildo is merely a handheld self-pleasure device that’s used to generate vaginal and/or anal stimulation during sexual intercourse or masturbation by yourself or with a partner. A dildo is not, however, an old cucumber in the bottom of your refrigerator drawer.

In terms of vibrating dildos, the name pretty much sums it up. Vibrating dildos are simply dildos that have vibratory powers through either an integrated motor or an internal bullet. The main idea is for the vibe dong to stimulate the g-spot and/or p-spot of the user with a variety of settings that lend themselves to the toy’s overall functionality. If the device can do that while being thrusted in and out of a tight orifice, it’s considered a legit vibrating dildo.

While getting an education on vibrating dildos it’s also important to realize that they’re not all made the same. The variant sizes, shapes and qualities of the devices available can leave the average consumer overwhelmed. Being well-versed in your options is crucial, but that starts with gaining an appreciation for the popularity of this innovative, body-safe sex toy.

The Top 3 Advantages of Using Vibrating Dildos

Back in the day, our ancestors were forced to masturbate with whatever they could scrounge up around the house. Modern-day archaeologists have recently uncovered thousands of carefully carved dildos fashioned out of everything from stone to chalk. Fortunately, we’ve come a long way since then.

Contemporary sex toys are swanky, well-made pleasure tools that have features we could have only dreamed about in ancient times. Thanks for advancements in technology, today’s best vibrating dildos offer a whole host of advantages to the average person’s sex life, including but not limited to the following three:

• Customizable Sex Options

Vibrating dildos have provided much-needed inspiration for the ever-evolving sexual revolution that our world is currently experiencing. Made by some of the most in-tune manufacturers on the planet, today’s best marital aids allow users to enjoy a fully customizable orgasm whether that be through their own labors or with a willing partner’s help. Furthermore, the settings featured on most modern-day vibrating dildos can be turned on or off during playtime, further expanding the playbook for today’s hottest sex toy enthusiasts.

• Couple’s Play Choices

Engaging in a little foreplay with your partner is always fun but fingering and fondling can only take you so far. After a while, you both start desiring more pleasure from the other. Often times, the only way to provide that is to involve a sex toy or two. And one of the most sought-after couples-friendly sex toys is the vibrating dildo. Versatile and vivacious, top-notch vibe dongs are a lusty lover’s best friend. Some even come with wireless remote controls and/or Bluetooth capabilities for short or long-distance mystery runs.

• Compatibility with Other Toys

All of today’s scientific discoveries have not been wasted on nonsense things like curing cancer. Important matters have been addressed as well. Thanks to the hard work and dedication of the world’s most talented perverts (I mean scientists), we now have vibrating dildos that are compatible with other toys. Granted, you’ll probably have to buy both devices from the same manufacturer to enjoy all the features, but the point is that we’ve finally reached a point in our evolution where we can achieve climax while being social butterflies instead of weird hermits.

Because of the integration of user-friendly, couples-engaging features, contemporary vibrating dildos are playing a huge role in making sex toys less taboo. In fact, vibe dongs have now been openly discussed and promoted on countless new broadcasts and other media outlets. Stay-at-home moms are hosting “romance” parties in their basements while the kids play upstairs, and guys with cock and confidence problems are finally getting their groove back. Dare I say that good vibrating dildos have the potential to change the world?

I’d proudly shout that from the rooftops if I knew that every shopper on the planet would end up buying the perfect model for themselves before forming an opinion. Unfortunately, that’s seldom ever the case. The sex toy market is not only huge but it’s also quite confusing to someone who doesn’t know what to look for. Personally, my first sex toy purchase was a set of anal beads and I hadn’t even tried ass play yet. The reason: I was so inundated with options that I got lost in my own perversion. Don’t let that happen to you.

The Top 5 Things to Look for in a Good Vibrating Dildo

The only way you’ll ever enjoy all the things that come with responsible vibrating dildo ownership is to shop with due diligence. And the only way to shop with due diligence is to have some predetermined guidelines in place to help you out. Fortunately, I just so happen to have a set of those just lying around in my office. Here they are, without further do – the top five things you need to look at or consider when searching for your first (or next) vibrating dildo:

1. The Overall Size

Know this, my freaky friend: There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all vibrating dildo. Couples-friendly, versatile, adjustable or otherwise, the overall size of this particular toy plays a huge role in how much fun you and/or your partner will have with it. A proportionate vibe dong should be about the same size as your ideal penis, with a few centimeters thrown in for good measure. As always, be sure to understand that the total length and insertable length are two different things. And of course, never ignore the numbers regarding width (girth), especially if you’re new to sex toy play or intending to use your dildo both vaginally and anally.

2. The Realism (Or Lack Thereof)

Good dildos don’t always look like a real dick. In fact, some of the best vibrating dongs on the planet are made to resemble anything but a human penis. And while you might think that such products wouldn’t sell or produce sexual pleasure, it turns out that orgasm can be reached through the use of more than just the natural shaft. On the other hand, there’s something to be said about a vibrating dildo that looks exactly like a throbbing cock. Either way, examine the realism (or lack thereof) on each toy you’re considering – you know, just to ensure it has the right stuff like an NYOTB song.

3. The Materials

As with anything on the modern market, and especially contemporary sex toys, vibrating dildos are made from a wide variety of materials, some of which are not exactly safe for the skin. Granted, most of today’s best sex toy manufacturers have gone above and beyond to make sure their products contain nothing but high-end, hypoallergenic components. However, there are still a few stragglers that have latex, parabens and phthalates in them. Double check each dildo’s material list before falling in love. Getting a rash or an allergic reaction from your plaything can be a real heartbreaker.

4. The Features

Vibrating dildos are set apart for one glaring reason: They vibrate. The speeds and intensities thereof can vary widely from model to model. Therefore, you must take ample time to review the various features offered on each device you’re eyeballing. Look for things like adjustable vibe settings using ergonomic touch-sensitive control pads or wireless remotes. Also peep the new SenseMotion Technology being used which adjusts the vibe settings with the flick of your wrist. You might also be interested in features like Sync-to-Music, virtual reality, and downloadable porn content, especially if you’re a horny power couple.

5. The Manufacturer

That brings me to my last point. Always (and I mean always) consider the maker of the toy in your hand. Not only does the manufacturer’s reputation tell you a lot about the quality of product but it might also make you privy to certain advantages. Special sales and discounts are only the beginning. Some manufacturers actually offer quality guarantees and product warranties, not to mention the fact that some of the couples-friendly vibrating dildos can sync up with an automatic male masturbator if it’s made by the same people. And if you’re lucky, you may even be able to enjoy a little brand cross-over since many sex toy makers have started developing products together (Kiiroo and Fleshlight, for example).

No matter what you decide or how you come to that conclusion, it’s vital that you at least use the aforementioned guidelines to point you in the right direction. Keep in mind that today’s marketers are extremely clever. You may think you know what to get, but you could be sorely mistaken if you don’t shop smart.

Top 5 Best Vibrating Dildos to Consider:

Appreciating the value of vibrating dildos and knowing how to shop for one is only half the battle. You’re still up against thousands of different models with features that seem eerily similar to one another. It’s rough out there, so a few little suggestions can go an awfully long way for most people. With that said, here are what I consider to be the top five best vibrating dildos on the market right now:

1. The UPRIZE RC Erecting Dildo Vibrator

Forget about RC cars, this is best remote-controlled toy money can buy. The UPRIZE Erecting Dildo Vibrator uses the manufacturer’s patented technology to provide long-lasting, rock-hard erections that come with 10 different vibration modes that can be manipulated by you and/or your perv of a partner. This durable and delectable dick has a 6-inch circumference and a 6-inch insertable length, plus it features a convenient suction cup on the bottom of its flared, soft-balled base. Made entirely out of smooth, skin-safe silicone and happily harness compatible, the user-friendly URC is 100% waterproof, not to mention it uses a rechargeable battery and curves ever so slightly for momentous g-spot/p-spot motivation.

 

2. The Fun Factory Stronic Real

This USB rechargeable vibrating dildo is much more than meets the eye, although what meets the eye is already quite attractive. Shaped and sized just like a real human penis, the Fun Factory Stronic Real vibe dong is an active and alluring member of society. By that I mean it vibrates while also thrusting at seven different speeds and at three different intensity levels depending on which setting you choose on the integrated control panel, making it one of the most user-friendly, couples-compatible sex toys on the market. Sleek and sexy, this bad boy has a tapered, realistic tip, comes in two sophisticated colors, and measures 5.5 inches in insertable length with a 5-inch girth – perfect for both vaginal and anal stimulation.

 

3. The Fun Factory G5 Big Boss

If you’re anything like the rest of us, you can’t even look at this thing without immediately noticing how unique it is. With a specialized finger-loop handle on the bottom that features the toy’s integrated control panel, the Fun Factory G5 Big Boy offers 5 different speeds and 4 powerful vibration functions. Moreover, it’s made from medical-grade silicone and is completely waterproof in case you were wondering. This amazing work of ergonomics features a realistic shape and head, plus it measures a human-like 7 inches in insertable length with a generous 5.75-inch girth. The best thing about this vibrating dildo, however, is the speedy 2-hour recharge time required by the surprisingly robust internal power station.

 

4. The Urge Strapless Strap-On Dildo Vibe

I just had an urge to put this product on my Top 5 list because of its relatively exclusive design and impressively well-done features. As one of the rarest sex toy types, this already amazing vibrating dildo works triple time as a prostate massaging butt plug and a strapless strap-on. Curved slightly to meet the needs of all body types, the Urge Dildo offers 6 long inches of insertable length and brings 5 inches of girth to the table. It’s made out of skin-safe silicone too, meaning it’s hypoallergenic, compatible with water-based lubes and also submersible. This bad boy features a wireless remote control that handles all 8 of its pleasurable power variations.

 

5. The Shane Diesel Suction Cup Dildo with Balls

If you’re in the market for something hyper-realistic and large enough to fill the hole in your heart, then look no further than the Shane Diesel Suction Cup Dildo. Not only does it feature a pair of soft, textured balls that are molded to look and feel exactly like the famous porn star’s, but it also vibrates at various speeds and intensity levels to keep you cumming back for more. And with additional texturization on the shaft, a bulbous tip, and a suction cup base, there’s no limit to the things you could do to yourself or others with this thing. Remote controlled and crafted out of skin-safe PVC, the SD dildo even comes with an autographed picture as a bonus libation.

 

5 Tips for Picking Out/Using a Vibrating Dildo

Don’t take my word for it. Skim through the following tips and tricks to make sure you’re getting the most bang for your buck:

1. Double check that you nor your partner have any skin sensitivities or allergies to certain materials, and then stay away from sex toys that contain those materials.
2. Ensure you have enough personal lubricant on hand that’s compatible with the materials of your vibrating dildo and with you/your partner’s skin type.
3. Consider whether you have the time and money to proper clean and store your new plaything.
4. If provided, always register your toy’s warranty within the first 30 days of ownership to avoid an expensive disappointment.
5. Make a budget for this purchase before you go shopping but remember that your financial limitations should be somewhat flexible to account for surprises, accessories, and shipping (where applicable).

As always, take the high road when shopping for a new vibrating dildo. Only buy your supply from a reputable dealer who offers discreet billing, private shipping, and reliable customer service.

One Final Word

It doesn’t take a genius to pick out a good dildo vibrator. After all, we’ve been naturally crafting our own versions since the beginning of time. Having finally entered the era of high-end sex toys, it’s time that you start shopping like an expert. And if we all raise the bar like this, then the world’s sex toy manufacturers will have no choice but to provide us with even better stuff. Either way, there’s likely already a vibrating dildo out there that’s perfect for you. I hope I’ve helped you track it down.

Dildos have been around for centuries. In fact, modern-day archaeologists recently uncovered mounds of homemade dildos and male masturbation devices buried deep in the ground beneath countless ancient cities. The best estimates give these prehistoric sex toys an age of about 5,000 years, but it has become increasingly apparent that our people have been seeking sexual gratification for much longer than that.

In an effort to assuage our insatiable appetites, we as a people have invented some pretty interesting things over the course of history. The unburied relics mentioned above included male masturbators made from stale bread and dildos fashioned out of chalk. Speculators shutter at the very thought of what else might be hidden just beneath their feet, but I find solace in the fact that we’ve come a long way since the embarrassing days of self-pleasure.

Now, we’re all privy to some pretty amazing products, including dildos that are no longer made out of common household items. From hyper-realistic, skin-like models to fantasy-based dildos crafted out of a single piece of metal, there’s no longer a concern about health, wealth or sexual wellbeing when modern-day sex toys are in the picture. And among the most popular of the bunch: Glass dildos, of course. What else, something made out of animal bones? That’s already been done before.

The Definition of a Glass Dildo

You probably know what a dildo is at this point, and it’s doubtful that you’re confused about what glass is. So just combine those two ideas and you’ll have a pretty good concept of what a glass dildo is all about. They function exactly the same way as a regular, realistic dildo but they’re made from a specialized material that changes the game tremendously. And while that may seem impossible for a product that’s been used and abused for millennia, it’s true that modern-day science has dipped its wick in the sexual health bucket many times.

As a result, we now have hypoallergenic glass dildos by the dozens and manufacturers don’t seem to be slowing down on production. Maybe it’s because they’re handsome and useful, maybe it’s because those qualities have made them popular, or perhaps it’s due to something else entirely. The way glass dildos get created is almost orgasmic in and of itself, although glass dildos are nothing more than glass-based sex toys that are designed to produce pleasure to the human body through penetration of the genitals. Sounds pretty basic, right?

Fans think that it’s the innate simplicity of a good glass dildo that makes it so highly sought-after. I believe it’s a combination of that and the fact that glass dildos generally outlast every other kind of sex toy available to us. Durable, safe, user-friendly and typically cost-effective, high-quality glass dildos stand as a testament to mankind’s perverted ingenuity if nothing else.

The Top 5 Advantages of Using Glass Dildos

At first glance, the elegant simplicity of a glass dildo may mislead some people into thinking it can’t do much in the way of producing intense sexual pleasure. Well, those people are not only wrong but they’re also about to miss out on some of the best sex of their lives. So, while certain sex toys definitely have their merits in the bedroom, glass dildos take things to a whole new level despite their relative straightforwardness.

According to the average user (and sexual health experts too), high-end glass dildos can provide least five amazingly satisfying advantages to your sex life:

1. They Are (Usually) Rigid

Unlike the life-like dildos that feature materials which look, feel and function like real human skin, glass dildos not only look like sex toys but they also perform in a unique way. Usually unable to bend, glass dildos provide an extra hard sensation during vaginal and/or anal penetration – the likes of which could be extremely helpful when seeking the g-spot or p-spot of a squirmy lover. And that same innate rigidity of glass dildos makes them virtually indestructible too.

2. They Work Well with All Skin Types

Dildos that are made to look, feel or function like a real human penis are amazing. However, the materials that manufacturers are forced to use to pull off the realism can be dangerous to some crotches. And while most of the best dildos on the planet are comprised of skin-safe stuff like silicone, PVC plastic, TPE or even stainless-steel, glass dildos offer the same hypoallergenic benefits while also being incredibly easy on the eyes (and the budget).

3. They’re Compatible with All Lubes

Hypoallergenic and haute couture factors aside, glass dildos are also a convenient product to have on board when you’re dealing with conflicting lubrication preferences. Because glass dildos are compatible with all skin types as well as all personal lubrication types, it’s easy to incorporate these user-friendly sex toys into your bedroom routine without causing any allergic reactions, skin irritations or riots to break out.

4. They Promote Temperature Play

Glass dildos have the unique ability to generate a pleasant surprise that’s not nearly as shocking as the surprise given by its stainless-steel or skin-like counterparts. Glass in innately responsive to temperature, meaning your glass dildo can perform gentle miracles during playtime. Heat it up or cool it down (as directed by the manufacturer, of course) and you’ll soon be experiencing things you never have before.

5. They’re Often Harness Compatible

A good glass dildo will not only be friendly to your skin type and/or lube stash, it will also perform well under the pressure of your favorite harness or strap-on. Granted, skin-like dildos and stainless-steel models are often harness compatible too, but if you use one of those instead then you don’t get all the other advantages mentioned on this list. It’s a tough choice but somebody has to make it, champ.

Keep in mind, however, that none of the things I’ve talked about can be enjoyed unless you purchase yourself the best possible glass dildo on the market. And while said market is indeed flooded with hundreds of viable and initially appealing options, it’s impossible to find what you’re looking for if you don’t have a couple guidelines to get you there.

The Top 5 Things to Look for in a Good Glass Dildo

Picking out the perfect glass dildo is no easy feat by any stretch of the imagination. Not only do we have hundreds of sex toy manufacturers to sift through, but each one of them makes a myriad of products that differ in some peculiar way from the competition. It can be rough out there as a modern-day consumer, and the clever advertising campaigns don’t help matters one bit.

Studies have proven that the average person shops with their eyes, meaning they desire or purchase items based on how attractive they are presented. It’s a tale as old as time: Even in the Garden of Eden, wasting her inheritance on something that looked pretty. Not all that glitters is gold, little children. It’s time for you to start shopping like an adult.

To step off on the right foot with this new “adulting” concept, let’s begin with the top 5 things you should look at or consider when shopping for your first (or next) glass dildo:

1. The Size

When it comes to selecting the perfect dildo, regardless of what it’s made out of, the size thereof matters quite a bit. It’s an especially important consideration depending on where/how you plan to use your new sex toy – meaning vaginally or anally. Larger glass dildos are typically marketed towards vaginally inclined users, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use one on your bum if the mood strikes. Just make sure the size is ideal for you and/or your partner’s body type and nobody gets hurt (unless they want to).

TIP: Be sure to know the difference between the dildo’s total length and insertable length, as they’re two completely different measurements with totally unique purposes.

2. The Overall Shape

Your first thought when you hear the words “glass dildo” might be of a large shaft-like object in the shape of a human penis, but those days are over. No longer are sexually frustrated consumers restricted to dildos that look like dicks. These days, we’re allowed to choose between all sorts of things, and many of our options look nothing like the human anatomy. All you have to do is select the glass dildo which has a shape that’s suitable for your unique body. If that requires something futuristic that’s curved at a 20-degree angle, then so be it. The point is to pinpoint the sweet spot, after all.

3. The General Features (and the Special Ones Too)

Exploring the features of any glass dildo is probably the most enjoyable part about shopping for one. The variety here is so diverse that it’s nearly impossible to compose myself while I write this. Just look for the kinds of features you’d like to have on an ordinary dildo – raised veins, undulating shaft, pronounced head, balls, etc. And if those things don’t do it for you, search for the things you prefer because they’re available. Keep in mind, however, that glass dildos should feature an extended base and/or secure grip for maximum user safety.

4. The Manufacturing Quality

Now that you’re shopping like a grown-up, it’s important to understand that not all glass dildos are made the same. Not only are there countless manufacturers but there are also numerous manufacturing methods. Needless to say, some of the glass dildos out there show off their makers’ cut corners. Look for a glass dildo that doesn’t have any seams down the side of the shaft, and while you’re at it, check to see exactly what kind of material they used to form this “glass” monstrosity sitting before you.

5. The Compatibility

As mentioned, some of the best glass dildos on the market are compatible with harnesses and strap-ons, allowing you and/or your lover to enjoy a little hands-free action from time to time. And while this is a relatively new concept in the glass dildo arena, it’s still possible to find one that’s right for your sex life. In fact, most of today’s top-notch glass dildos are made to be used in a group setting if nothing else.

5 Amazing Glass Dildos to Consider

Now that you know what to look for and what to avoid, it’s time to get down to business. Here are five incredible examples of what a glass dildo should be:

1. The Icicles No. 24

This unique work of masturbatory art is a glass dildo lover’s wet dream. It’s 6 inches of elegant curves and stimulating veins, nubs and bumps that juice your genitals into quick submission while providing ample space for you/your partner to hold on tight. As one of the world’s best-selling sex toys, the Icicles No. 24 glass dildo has become a force to be reckoned with.

2. The Tracey Cox SuperSex Glass Dildo Set

What’s better than one amazing glass dildo with the perfect shape, size and texture? Two amazing glass dildos with the perfect shape, size and texture, of course – only this pair fraternal, not identical. The pink twin is 7.25 inches long with a girth of 4.5 inches, while the second clear one is sized right at a thick 8.25 inches long with a girth of 3.75 inches. Both come packed together in a sex satin storage bag too. Ooh la la – the perfect gift for some kinky couple’s play.

3. The Motörhead Bomber Black and Gold Rock Hard Glass Dildo

As unique as you and your partner are, it’s surprising that all your sex toys don’t look and perform like the Motörhead Bomber. Not only does this one-of-a-kind glass dildo include a detachable silicone display stand for when it’s not in use, but the damned thing also comes with a satin storage bag to boot. This thing is made out of temperature-responsive, shatter-resistant borosilicate glass and shaped like a missile, with a tapered tip and a bulbous body for maximum stimulation. A handsome 5 inches of insertable length and a 4.75-inch girth, the MB does not miss its target.

4. The DOMINIX Deluxe Glass Dildo with Leather Flogger

This specimen is the perfect accessory for those who like to engage in a little BDSM with their sex toys. The Dominix Deluxe features a leather flogger on the end, but that’s just where the party gets started. It has an extremely bulbous tip (ideal for both vaginal and anal play) and it offers a series of vein-like ridges running down the shaft too. So, not only is this thing a terrific toy for dominance enthusiasts, it’s also ideal for regular perverts who just like their glass dildos to make a statement.

5. The Icicles No. 7 Doubled-Ender

As if owning an amazingly crafted glass dildo wasn’t enough, this double-ended masterpiece provides twice as many stimulation options in one convenient package. Shaped realistically on one end and featuring a uniquely twisted shape on the other end, the Icicles No. 7 double dong is a dynamic duo of epic proportions. For example, it offers a superb 9.5 total inches of insertable length from either end; its girth is a generous 4.5 inches of submersible, hypoallergenic fun. You get the drift?

5 Tips for Picking Out the Perfect Glass Dildo

Having some guidelines and even being given a few recommendations is only useful when you know yourself better than the marketers do. Here are the top five things you need to find out before selecting your favorite glass dildo:

1. 1. Are you and/or your partner sensitive or allergic to any kind of material, including certain types of glass?
   2. Do you have a specific size you’re looking for? If so, why?
      1. Is this your first time using a dildo, glass or otherwise?
      2. Do you prefer clitoral stimulation over penetration?
      3. Are you afraid of being penetrated too deeply or stretching your orifice too much?
   3. What are you and/or your partner’s intentions with this new glass dildo of yours?
      1. Do you plan to use it vaginally, anally or both?
      2. Are you familiar with the rules of temperature play?

1. How well will this new glass dildo become incorporated into your existing sex routine?
   1. Will you be playing with it by yourself, with a partner or as part of a group?
   2. How often do you think you’ll whip it out for sex or masturbation?
2. Do you think you can afford it?
   1. Does it require any special cleaning or preservation supplies?
   2. Do you have the right kind of lube on hand already?

One Final Word

Glass dildos are a hypoallergenic, g-spot attacking, temperature-responsive, virtually indestructible alternative to the life-like dildos that don’t quite fit the bill. With the right one, you and/or your partner can enjoy a completely new type of foreplay and masturbation without having to worry about skin sensitivities, allergies or lube preferences. And since even the best glass dildos are surprisingly affordable and even more surprisingly easy to maintain, it’s no wonder why millions of people in the modern world currently own one – which is way better than having half the population carving fake dicks out of chalk, isn’t it?