Wouldn’t it be nice if all dildos were the same? You could just run to the store or hop online and get what you wanted without any fuss. Unfortunately, it’s not like that in the modern world, and there are more choices than any one woman knows what to do with. However, there is an upside to that challenge: variety is the spice of life.
Among the plethora of plastic penises, there are some that are far better than the others. The reasons for their superiority aren’t always clear at first glance, but synthetic erection experts understand the different between quantity and quality. Rest assured, such a discerning eye isn’t something you can develop overnight. Still, it only takes some careful consideration to separate the good from the bad and the ugly.
- The nJoy Pure Wand
- Solid stainless steel G-spot dildo
- Double ended for variation of sensation
- Curved for precise stimulation
- Vixen Mustang
- Dual density shaft feels just like a real penis
- Curved shaft stimulates G-spot or P-spot with direct massage
- Raised head and veins enhance authentic sensations
- Vixen Johnny
- Ultra-realistic dual layered silicone dildo for thrilling internal pleasure
- Made from 100% non-porous platinum silicone for hypoallergenic play
- Solid inner core with soft outer feels just like a real penis
In fact, a dildo worth your time and money isn’t as hard to come by as you might think. With so many reputable manufacturers out there vying for your pussy’s attention, someone’s got to have the key that unlocks the flood gates. So, instead of thrusting yourself into a mindless treasure hunt in search of the cream of the crop, use this concise buying guide instead. But first, let’s quickly go over what a dildo is and what it isn’t.
The Top 5 Best Dildos On The Market In 2019:
Now that all the homework is done, it’s time to play. Below are the top five dildos on the market today, arranged in no particular order so you know there isn’t any hidden agendas. It’s just straight-up information, recommendation, and vindication, nothing more. Check these bad boys out before you miss the boat:
Made for ladies who nJoy simplicity, the Pure Wand doesn’t even look like a dildo but it functions like the best of them. Curved to fit a woman’s body and provide direct stimulation to her g-spot, this bad boy is also ideal for p-spot play and can even function as a simple muscle massager. It features a gleaming medical-grade stainless steel body that’s smooth and non-porous, making it friendly with water and all types of lube. And while it may not be the most realistic thing you’ve ever stuck inside you, it’s certainly bound to be one of the most satisfying.
MEASUREMENTS: Nearly 8 inches of insertable length with 5.5 inches in circumference
SPECIAL FEATURES: Double-ended for a customizable combination of sensations and experiences, weighted for substantial pressure on erogenous glans
PROS: It comes in one of the sexiest satin-lined presentation boxes known to man, and that box is meant to double as a storage container for the device plus a small bottle or packet of lube. Furthermore, the Pure Wand is temperature responsive thanks to the VixSkin material
CONS: It’s lacking the realism that some women prefer in a good dildo and it’s not compatible with any harnesses or strap-ons (yet).
You can’t even look at this brightly-colored yet realistic dildo without getting a lady boner. The Vixen is a dual density kaleidoscope cock that may look like the rainbow but runs like a wild mustang (hence the name). With a suction cup base that secures its super lifelike penis form, the VMD has become famous for being one of the most whimsical sex toys on today’s market. And playful or not, this flared-based fun stick is all about getting down to business. The Vixen has an undeniably authentic texture that’s made from a patented VixSkin material and it utilizes a revolutionary solid core that’s surrounded by a pliable outer covering, giving the whole shebang that telltale human-like penis quality.
MEASURMENTS: A full 7.5 inches of insertable length with 5 inches of girth
SPECIAL FEATURES: Rare, unique and inspirational, expertly weighted for exceptional g-spot and p-spot stimulation
PROS: It’s one of the more realistic dildos on this list, with a curves shaft, raised head, and strategically placed veins for enhances realism and boosted sensations. Plus, the VixSkin material is temperature sensitive and the whole thing is compatible with countless strap-on harnesses (and completely waterproof too).
CONS: It doesn’t have any balls, and it could be too heavy for some users.
If realism is what you’re looking for, then the Vixen Johnny may be the perfect dildo for you. Sculpted after a ridiculously good-looking penis, this silicone sex slave features a dual-layered shaft to give it that authentic erection quality. With a bulging corona and texturized balls for an ever more hyper-realistic experience, the jolly Johnny unapologetically attacks the g-spot and/or p-spot of its victim. Using the Vixen brand’s patented VixSkin material, this soft yet non-porous penis is wonderful, waterproof and hypoallergenic too (meaning it won’t cause a rash if you use enough water-based lube).
MEASUREMENTS: A cozy 7 inches of insertable length with 5.75 inches in circumference
SPECIAL FEATURES: Temperature sensitive, non-slip flat base, compatible with almost every interchangeable harness on the planet, suitable for vaginal and/or anal play
PROS: It’s soft and flexible while also being firm and durable. When used properly with a harness and plenty of water-based lube, Johnny feels a lot like a real boy.
CONS: There’s no suction cup on the base, making it difficult to enjoy hands-free play without a willing partner or compatible harness. Plus, it doesn’t come with a storage container either.
Beware: The Vixen Bandit could steal your heart and rob you of every latent orgasm you’ve never experienced. This relatively realistic dildo for women is shaped to stimulate the g-spot as nature intended, with a slightly curved shaft, a tapered head, and carefully placed veins. Ideal for ladies who like to slowly build toward climax, this authentic-looking cock features soft, wrinkly balls that rest atop a flat base. Compatible with most strap-on harnesses and perfect for the bath or shower, the Vixen Bandit remains infamous in the sex toy industry for its innate intensity and insanely accurate ingenuity.
MEASUREMENTS: A full 7.5 inches of insertable length with 5.5 inches of girth
SPECIAL FEATURES: Hypoallergenic and waterproof, tapered head to make insertion and removal more comfortable
PROS: It can be easily heated or cooled at will, plus it offers all the realistic penis features you’d want in a regular-use dildo.
CONS: It’s packaged in a clear, plastic container that looks like something a gas station sandwich comes in, plus it’s not the most lightweight dildo on the scene.
This magnificent metal dildo is in a league of its own. Created from polished steel using a central acrylic isolator, this high-tech honey looks nothing like a penis but functions like it was made for the human body. Sexy, sophisticated and ergonomic, this sleek and wavy little thing can be instantly transformed into an e-stim device with the push of a button. The continually cool exterior adds to the pleasure provided, and it even has 7 insulating rubber rings at the bottom of the device to ensure the most robust sensation from each and every pulse that gets generated from the compatible electrosex power unit.
MEASUREMENTS: An acceptable 5.5 inches of insertable length with 3.5 inches in circumference
SPECIAL FEATURES: Layers of insulating acrylic deepen and intensify e-stim sensations, rigid shaft prevents injury and damage
PROS: This is one of the better e-stim dildos on the modern-day sex toy market, with a shaft that’s large enough to stimulate the g-spot and/or p-spot of any human body.
CONS: The ElectraStim EM60-E Flick Single Output Stimulator needed to turn this bad boy into an e-stim dildo is sold separately, and so are the required pads and conductive lube. In other words, ownership of this device may get expensive if you don’t know what you’re doing. Oh, and this one isn’t waterproof (duh).
Relatively new to the dildo scene is the already famous Clone-a-Willy. This 100% customizable sex toy is made by you through the molding of your favorite partner’s private parts, but that’s not all. The crafting kit also comes with an optional vibrating bullet for the center of your creation which, surprisingly, can comfortably accommodate dicks as large as 11 inches in length and 2 ½ inches in girth. You can pick your favorite color for the molding powder or keep it realistic as well, which is super easy considering it makes a Hollywood-grade cast of the cock in less than 24 hours. Furthermore, it’s super durable, hypoallergenic, easy to clean, and perhaps the most innovative sex toy on the market thus far.
KEY FEATURES: Fully customizable, vibrating (optional), waterproof, hyper-realistic
What in the World Is a Dildo? No, Seriously.
At least once in our lives, we’ve all probably called someone a dumb dildo when they acted like an idiot, but if we knew what we were saying we’d probably call them something else. Considering a dildo is a magnificent penis shaped pussy poker that’s designed explicitly to provide pleasure, using the term as a derogatory one might not be as much of a sting as we think it should be.
Although the average dildo doesn’t look exactly like a penis, they’re ergonomically suitable for vaginal or anal insertion and they come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes. In fact, some even light up. What they don’t do, however, is vibrate (at least not by themselves). So, don’t get a dildo confused with a vibrator because then we’ll all be confused.
Typically, you’ll find dildos made from various materials including silicone, rubber, glass, plastic, metal and jelly. The best part is that these toys are ideal for both girls and boys – gender-friendly and open to interpretation. A well-made version can last for decades, if not longer, and tends to be among the easiest toys in the industry to clean. So, without further ado, let’s get into some heavy petting.
Things To Consider That Will Help You To Find The Top Dildo For Your Pleasure
Since dildos can be used in several ways, it’s important to find one that suits you and your partner’s needs. And while these genitalia-resembling toys are most commonly used for manual masturbation, that’s not where their resume ends. Interestingly enough, a good dildo can do so much more than just thrust your twat or butt. Some folks like to use them for foreplay, as gags, or to brush up on their oral sex game. For real though, dildo.
So, depending on your intended uses, the right one can make a big difference in your ability to enjoy the moment. When searching, look closely at the following 5 characteristics:
In general, dildos are sized based on their length (or width) and diameter (or girth). Just remember that, while size definitely matters, it’s not the most important factor when deciding on which toy to buy. Bigger isn’t always better, believe it or not. Simply consider the size of your last partner and go from there. If the last person to fuck you had a thick, 9-inch dick and it felt amazing, then by all means go for something larger. However, if your last partner came swinging a moderately-sized wang and it was enough, opt instead for a smaller dildo with a suction cup at the bottom to prevent slippage.
Keep in mind that the total length of some dildos is not exactly how far it can be inserted into your body. Just because a dildo is advertised as 10 inches doesn’t mean you’ll be getting all of that up in ya. Furthermore, the girth of your chosen toy will be hard to fathom without a quick finger test. The average finger is between ½-inch and ¾-inch, meaning if you can fit two fingers inside you then you should go for a dildo with a girth of about 1 ½ to 2 inches just to play it safe. However, if you’re looking for a bit more stretch, don’t be afraid to venture towards the fatter dildos which range between 2 and 3 inches in diameter.
TIP: Be sure to use plenty of lube, especially if you’re going for a tight fit. Stretching can be a lot of fun, but tearing, not so much.
The shape of your dildo matters quite a bit, if not more than the size of it. Many models are designed specifically to stimulate specific parts of the body or to train your holes for bigger and better things, so keep that mind when shopping around. Several dildos are made to help the men and women who use them get used to the size before taking the whole thing. Enter: the tapered toy – a dildo that starts out small and then gradually gets wider the further down the shaft you go.
Shape is also important for the type of orgasm you’re looking for. Dildos are designed to stimulate the g-spot, the clitoris, the perineum, or the prostate, with some of them having attached balls, clitoral tabs, and curved forms to suffice your sexual needs. Buying a straight dildo is great for those who enjoy a good thrust, but it won’t do much for people who need their sweet spots massaged. On the other hand, bent toys are terrific for customized pleasure but are usually smaller, less thick, and more tailored to the bodies they’ll be in.
TIP: It’s possible to get a good dildo for stretching AND sweet spot stimulation if you buy one with all right features.
While dildos come in all shapes and sizes, they also have features which make them stand out from the competition. Although many look and function the same, they’re not all created equally. Aside from having various curvatures, lengths, and widths, many dildos have unique textures and detailing that make them ideal (or not) for a variety of users. For example, ribbed or studded toys tend to offer more of a stimulating entry and exit while smooth textured dildos are designed for simplistic thrust and pull parties.
Moreover, dildos shaped for the expressed purpose of reaching your g-spot or p-spot are a feature all on their own. Knowing what each dildo is designed for will ensure you get the most bang for your buck. And while standard dildos don’t usually offer vibration, there are some models that do. Most of those models also feature numerous vibe functions as well as life-like heads, shafts, and balls to make the experience as real (and surreal) as possible. You might also find a dildo that warms to match your body heat – a relatively new invention by the most innovative manufacturers in the industry.
Furthermore, there are dildos out there that have suction cup bases which support hands-free play. They can be attached to chairs, floors, walls, and sides of shower stalls to ride like a pony. Not only do the best among these types stay put even when the going gets rough, but they also allow you and your partner to get handsy while thrusting freely on the shaft. Of course, there are always the famous double-ended dildos that are perfect for some super kinky partner play, but those are self-explanatory and not recommended for folks who are new to the whole fake dick thing. And of course, how can I forget the mind boggling ejaculating dildos?
TIP: Be sure to buy a waterproof dildo if you plan to take it to the shower with you. Not all dildos are water-friendly, especially the ones with included vibrators.
While you may be thinking that any old dildo material will do, you’re wrong. In fact, the difference between plastic, silicone, glass, metal, and rubber is so great that you’d be hard pressed to get the same experience out of them all. Although rubber and silicone versions are the most popular, the variety doesn’t end there. Be sure to carefully consider the type of sensation you want before spending any money.
Usually, silicone dildos are most desired because they’re not only realistic but also seamless, nonporous, latex and phthalate free, and hypoallergenic. They’re also the toy most likely to have insertable vibrating bullets, suction cup bases, and lifelike balls. That option may be your safest and sexiest bet, but don’t be afraid to venture out a bit. Even though glass tends to scare some people away, breakage never occurs and they’re super smooth, not to mention ultra-easy to clean. Oh yeah, and glass dildos can be quickly heated or cooled to your liking, so there’s that.
While both silicone and glass dildos have extremely long shelf lives when maintained properly, perhaps the most durable material is metal. Rubber and plastic are much more pliable, but metal is extra efficient at stimulating the G and P spots. Metal can also be warmed or cooled easily and some of them even come with their own detachable vibrating bullet. The choice is yours, so choose wisely.
TIP: The type of material you choose will determine the kind of lube you can use.
Here is something you should write down while you’re at it: dildos are not interchangeable with the vagina and anus. Men who use a dildo shouldn’t buy one designed for women, and women using a dildo shouldn’t buy one designed for men. Furthermore, once that bad boy is inserted into your hole, that’s the one and only hole it should go in.
Also keep in mind that vaginal models usually aren’t designed for easy removal because they bottom out at the cervix and take care of that themselves. Anal dildos aimed are typically aimed at men and don’t work the same. Inserting a dildo into your anal cavity and having it travel too far can ruin a perfectly good evening. Purchase a toy that’s made specifically for your intended uses and never swap back and forth with it unless you want a nasty infection.
TIP: Buy a dildo that’s relatively easy to clean and maintain so it lasts longer, allows you to do more, and keeps you from worrying about awkward rashes and impromptu visits to the emergency room.