I’ve never been the kind of person to become overwhelmed by the sight of a dick. Most of them look pretty much the same anyway, and today’s sex toy industry has done a good job of capturing the penile essence time and time again. At any given moment, any of us can gaze upon a cock at our leisure, either in porn, at the sex shop or in our own homes. So, when a so-called “realistic” dildo gets introduced to the market, I’m usually the last person to get excited.
There was no exception to that rule when I first saw the Vixen Johnny. In fact, it looked so damned realistic that, at first, I thought it was the dismembered body part of some poor bastard somewhere. I was so overcome with shock that I forgot to get horny. But then it finally hit me: I was holding one of the most lifelike synthetic penises this side of the Mississippi.
What Is the Vixen Johnny Vixskin Dildo?
A dildo: An aptly sized fake dick, made solely to sexually please the user. That’s what the Vixen Johnny is, technically. On a more creative note, however, it’s a properly proportioned device that can be used in countless ways to produce orgasm. So, when the world says anything can be a dildo if you’re brave enough, answer back holding a fuck stick that looks like you’re a superhero.
The VJ as I like to call him is designed for both men and women and can be used either anally or vaginally. Designed with healthy sexual appetites in mind, the patented materials and unique shape of this dildo make it ideal for regular and/or prolonged use. Perfect for rigorous solo play or adventurous couple’s “therapy,” the Vixen Johnny isn’t one to disappoint.
The Main Features
With everything you’d want (and more) in a good dildo, Johnny’s sexy ass comes out ahead of the rest in numerous categories. Aside from the heavily realism he provides, his silky smooth VixSkin material is non-porous, natural feeling and – get this – it’s temperature responsive too. So, this is how the heating/cooling experiments usually went down in my neck of the woods:
- 2-3 minutes in the refrigerator or freezer
- 30-45 seconds in the microwave
- 4-5 minutes in hot or cold water
I’d just like to say that it’s rather rare for a skin-like dildo material to also be sensitive to heat and cold. I won’t deny that my otherwise objective hands were immediately ready to explore the rest of the features on Mr. VJ, which I soon found out included the following:
- Bulging corona (head)
- Human-like veins on the shaft
- Slight curvature
- Soft, textured balls
- Dual density core technology
Curious about that Dual Density mumbo jumbo like I was? Well, it’s worth considering. DD cores give the dildo a hyper-realistic feel that closely resembles that of a live erection. Stiff yet pliable, the dual technology mixed with the temperature sensitive VixSkin is pair of sensations that can only be matched by the real thing. Apply plenty of water-based lube and go to town on a dildo that’s as close to reality as you’re going to get for the price.
Overall, the features work together seamlessly to create lip-biting, mind-numbing sensations. I think the VJ is perfect for people who like to take let their sexuality lead the way. Waterproof and hypoallergenic, Johnny is suitable for bath time rituals and lovers with sensitive skin. Best of all, he’s harness compatible and you already know what that means. Switch-a-roo, baby!
Furthermore, I feel like this bad boy is big enough to please the pros but small enough to incite instant arousal among the newbies. His overall appearance is quite attractive and his dimensions are right on point. For one, Johnny is super hand-friendly, with a 5.75-inch total circumference. For two, his insertable length, which is a cozy 7 inches, suffices for both pussy and ass games. Plus, he has a flat, non-slip base for hands-free fun and safety.
What Comes in the Box?
Johnny is a real trooper, especially considering the fact that he comes to you in a hobo’s dressing. Stuffed indiscriminately inside a thick yet cheap plastic container that reminds me of a gas station salad box, the Vixen brand obviously spent all their production funds on the dildo itself. Fair enough, but discretion goes right out the window when the whole world can see what I just bought.
Anyway, inside the unimpressive container rests only Johnny and his little pal, a tiny sample of the water-based lube that apparently comes highly recommended by the maker. You can use any water-based lube you want though. There’s not any toy cleaner in there, nor is there a specific harness to strap him into. Either way, you’ll get everything needed to begin screwing yourself in the right way and you’ll have a versatile dildo to play with in the meantime.
I’ve sort of already touched base on this one, but the Vixen Johnny feels a lot like having sex with a real person (minus the sudden erectile dysfunction after ejaculation, which Johnny cannot do). The combination of weightiness and temperature responsive skin makes it easy to customize each experience, not to mention it only adds to the realism. And while the VixSkin material is super soft, I do suggest using a lube that doesn’t absorb quickly because there’s quite a bit of drag down there when things dry up.
The Cheers and Jeers
You know nothing’s perfect right? Good. With that said, let’s take an objective look at the Vixen Johnny dildo:
Sized Up – Your new best friend Johnny is proportioned just right for all types of sexual activities.
Double Trouble – The Dual Density Core technology is being used more and more by the dildo makers of the world, but for now it’s just one of the better features of the Vixen Johnny.
Smooth Talker – There are only a few skin-like dildo materials on today’s sex toy market that feel as soft and smooth as VixSkin that’s used on this fella.
Plays Nice – The flat base makes VJ work with all kinds of harnesses extremely well, meaning its versatility only increases with your perversion.
The Price Is Right – For such a well-made dildo, it’s sure as hell affordable. No extra equipment required either, besides the usual: lube, toy cleaner and (maybe) a harness.
Suck It, Trebek – With the lack of a suction cup base, Johnny misbehaves in certain situations and won’t stay where you put him.
Playing for Keeps – There is no manufacturer’s warranty or quality guarantee on this thing if you buy it direct, meaning you get what you get and that’s that. Buy smart, folks.
Hiding and Fighting – You’ll most likely have a hard time finding a good place to hide and/or store VJ because he’s not only large but he also doesn’t come with any sort of storage container whatsoever.
The Final Verdict
In total, the Vixen Johnny dildo is the top choice if you’re looking for something that appears real and feels like an actual dick. He’s low maintenance and high pleasure – just what we all need out of a good sex toy. You can find more information or buy Vixen Johnny at the official lovehoney website.