King Dong Gorilla Suit
Want to make a splash this Halloween? This King Dong costume will make you the life of the party. Watch the girls go ape to get a mouthful as your appendage spurts sweet pina colada jizz.
We wanted to create a self-contained pump and reservoir system that
would fit within the gorilla suit for maximum mobility – basically an ejaculating dildo on steroids. A battery-powered water gun with an auxillary tank seemed like the ideal hydraulic system, but this didn’t have the firepower (enough pressure and flow) that we were looking for. We kept the water pack and substituted a battery-powered pump made for a camping shower, improvising a plumbing connection between the two. The outflow from the pump could then be routed through tubing and out the end of the dildo, which was worn in a harness under the costume. All of the plumbing, including the battery pack and switch for the pump, was worn and hidden inside the gorilla suit, with the switch activated by pressing it from the outside.
Materials and tools
- Gorilla suit
- Huge rubber dildo with balls or flared base (at least 8″ long)
- Dildo harness
- Fanny pack
- Coleman camping pump
- 4 D batteries (for the pump)
- Super Soaker Max Infusion 100 oz. Backpack
- 1/4″ polyethylene tubing (sold as replacement tubing for refrigerator door water/ice dispensers)
- 1/4″ latex rubber tubing
- Hose coupling (1/4″ to 3/8″)
- 1/4″ hose clamp
- Alligator clip or binder clip
- Dremel tool with small saw and small grinder/sander attachments
- Power drill
- Metal shish kebab skewer and/or 3/16″ metal rod with sharp end (at least 10″ long)
- Water-based lube
- Utility knife and scissors
- Silicone household sealant or plumbers tape
- Pina Colada mix
Step 1: Get Pumped Up
The fittings for the Coleman pump unit and the Super Soaker pack are very compatible with some simple modifications. The Coleman pump intake has a removable piece with threads on the inside. It can be inserted on the inside of the large orange valve gasket from the Super Soaker pack so the pump and pack can be screwed together.
But first, the inside of the Super Soaker gasket must be prepared. Unscrew the large orange gasket fitting and use pliers to break or cut away the plastic struts holding the central piece. With the Dremel tool grinder or sander attachment, smooth out the inside of the barrel.
Use the Dremel saw to cut the inner barrel of the gasket down to about ¼”, being careful not to damage the threads inside. This should give the threaded part from the Coleman pump enough clearance so that you can fit the gasket over it, and screw it back onto the pump unit. Now you can attach the pump directly to the Super Soaker pack.
If the fittings are screwed in tightly enough, the seal should be nearly leakproof. We did a test run with water and the pressure from the pump was impressive.
You should cut the vinyl tubing from the pump to about half its length, since it is more than long enough. Also, on the Super Soaker pack, there is a piece of vinyl tubing on the other end that is meant to hook up to the water gun. Since this will not be used, you can cut the tubing off an inch or so away from the bag and fill it in with silicone caulk to plug it.
Step 2: Laying Pipe
Getting the hose through the dong is one of the more challenging parts of this project; it requires some patience and it may be unnerving to some. First, take your dildo and drill straight into the center of the head and the base with a 3/16″ bit to get things started.
Insert a shish kebab skewer into one end and slowly force it through until it comes out the other end, or is fully inserted. Our skewer was a few inches shorter than our 12″ dildo, so we went at it from both ends, then used a longer metal rod to ream out the passage.
Once you have cleared a line through the cock, you need to force the polyethylene tubing through. Although the tubing is fairly rigid, it was hard to push more than a few inches in. We succeeded by inserting our metal rod fully through the dildo, forcing the end of the tubing onto the rod, and then guiding the tubing through by simultaneously pulling the rod back out and pushing the tubing from the other side.
This process had to be facilitated with liberal amounts of water-based lube slathered onto the tubing as it was threaded in. It’s easiest to thread the tubing through from the base to the tip, and then cut the tubing off 8 to 10 inches from the base of the dong.
Step 3: The Hook Up
Now that you’ve got your dildo and your ejaculate reservoir and pump ready, you need to hook the two up. The Coleman pump tubing has a 1/2″ outer diameter and a 3/8″ inner diameter. The polyethylene tubing through the cock has a ¼” outer diameter and an inner diameter of about 3/16″. Somehow you have to get these together.
We ended up joining them using a length of ¼” latex tubing, a fitting salvaged from another type of battery powered water gun (the Speed Shark, which was our initial choice for a pump, but didn’t have enough pressure), and the plastic coupling attached to the Coleman pump hose. The latex tubing turned out to be a necessary element for flow regulation. Ideally, you’d be able to use one 1/4″ to 3/8″ coupling to link the latex tubing and the vinyl tubing from the pump, but we made due with an on-the-fly fix. This required drilling through the center of the Speed Shark fitting to widen its aperture and increase flow rate, and shaving the edges of the Coleman fitting down so that it could be screwed into the Speed Shark fitting.
The latex tubing was then used to connect the polyethylene tubing from the cock and the Speed Shark connector. Whatever coupling arrangement you use, you will probably need some additional sealant to prevent leakage, either silicone caulk or plumbers tape. We used the latter. You will probably also need a ¼" hose clamp to keep fluid from leaking out between the poly tubing and the latex tubing, although we just twisted a piece of wire around it tightly.
Step 4: In the Hole
Next we need to prepare the gorilla suit. Put on your strap on harness to get an idea of where your cock will be hanging. You will probably need to wear it slung low, a little below your actual package, both for personal comfort and so the tubing from the base of the cock does not get crimped. Put on the gorilla suit, pull it up to the waist, and use chalk to mark the spot on the inside where the dildo will be attached to the harness.
Cut an opening in the front of the gorilla suit, either a circle or an X, big enough to let the dong pass through. The hole doesn’t have to be perfect, since the fur will cover up any rough edges. However, you may want to reinforce the opening with duct tape to keep the fabric from tearing.
Step 5: Fill Your Tank
Mix up a batch of your favorite pina colada recipe. Actually, you’ll probably need a few batches to fill the 100 oz. capacity of the Super Soaker pack. This recipe will get you close:
2 ½ cups light rum or Malibu
3 ¾ cups pineapple juice
2 ½ cups sweetened cream of coconut
Mix in a blender and chill.
Pour into the Super Soaker pack and screw the pump unit on. Place an alligator or binder clip on the latex tubing to prevent leakage through the cock before you’re ready.
Step 6: Strap It On
Time to gear up. First, insert the cock into the harness, making sure that the tubing is situated so it will pass between your legs or to the side. Put the harness on and position the cock so the tubing is unimpeded. Buckle the fanny pack around your waist so the pouch is on one side and place the battery pack/switch unit in the fanny pack. Put the Super Soaker pack on upside down, so that the pump and hose are on the bottom. The pump needs a little help from gravity to get the liquid to feed correctly.
Step 7: Suit Up and Fire at Will
Get into your monkey suit and slip the dildo through the opening in the front. Have a friend tuck all the tubes and wires into the back and close the back of the costume for you.
When you’re ready to let loose with a flood of sweet sticky goodness, release the clip from the latex tubing. Press the power switch for the pump (you should be able to do this through the suit). You may need to jump around a bit to get the liquid flowing through the tubes and force out the air bubbles.
Once your pump is primed, you may really start gushing. The pump will spray the liquid to a distance of five or six feet. Keep the clip handy to snap back on the latex tubing so you don’t blow your whole load prematurely.
If you want to shoot your wad all at once, just unclip the tubing and switch on the pump. The pump will spray a hard and steady stream that will exhaust your liquid reserves within couple of minutes. To come in “spurts” switch the pump on and off and/or pinch the latex tubing to temporarily stop and release the flow. Once you’ve drained your tank, switch off the pump to avoid damaging the motor. Re-clip the tubing and “shake off” to clear your plumbing.
Your friends will probably end up wearing more of your emissions than drinking them, so we recommend this costume for outdoor use.