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Designer Dildos

Despite the resplendent array of dildo colors available in today's marketplace, sometimes you can't find exactly what you want. If so, it's time to get creative.


Necessity is the mother of invention

A few months ago, for reasons of my own, I needed a forest-green dildo. Shopping around, I found lime green, teal green, sea green and even pearlescent green, but it seems that dark green is out of fashion this year. I took a gamble with one of my older beige dildos and my knowledge of petrochemical technology, and this was the result: just what I wanted!


Choose the right dildo and dye

The reason that this technique works is that certain types of synthetic rubber are porous; the dye molecules get into the microscopic holes in the surface and lodge there. Silicone is not one of these porous synthetics - its impermeability is one of its selling points. Dildos seldom come with a list of ingredients, so it's difficult to know exactly what they are made of, but silicone is usually advertised as such.


Raw materials

Two signs of a good dildo for this process are scent and cost. Porous plastics have a "plasticky" smell, and are less expensive than their non-porous kin. If your dildo smelled like a new car when you opened the package, and cost less than $20, you're probably on the right track.

When you start with synthetic rubber, petrochemical dyes have molecules just the right size and shape to bond permanently. Though I can't vouch for other brands, Rit dyes work great. Soy ink and other botanical dyes probably won't work.


Getting prepped

Before getting started, you should wash your toy and pat it dry to ensure that there's nothing to prevent the dye from getting to the surface. Next, lay down paper all over your work area. It wouldn't hurt to cover the floor and shut the dog out, too--dye stains things by its nature, so clear the decks of anything you don't want decorated. I used white butcher paper as my dropcloth, for contrast, but newspaper would probably work as long as you don't let the dildos sit on the newsprint itself. The dye on newsprint will bond to your dildo, too.


Tools of the trade

Next, assemble your tools. Counterclockwise from the top:

  • A. Wax

  • B. Dyes

  • C. Cooking thermometer

  • D. Dildos!

  • E. Tongs

  • F. Inexpensive paintbrushes

  • G. Electric frying pan

(Items A, F and G are needed only if you are doing the optional batik
steps.)

Not shown: old clothes, plenty of paper towels, aluminum or stainless steel pots. Pots with non-stick coating will tend to pick up the dye colors. If you can, use a dedicated set of pots, pans and brushes, because the wax and dye will render them unfit for cooking, but eminently suited to the creation of further works of art.


Dyeing your dong

Different manufacturers will have different instructions for mixing the dye, but I found it works well to make it about twice as strong as the strength recommended for dyeing cotton cloth. Some mixing instructions call for boiling the dye, but neither the synthetic rubber nor the waxes for the batik steps will tolerate such extremes. I added the dye powder to two cups of just-boiled water, stirred until it dissolved, and then added this extra-concentrated dye to a pot of water that was below the wax's melting point. If you plan to use multiple colors, start with the lightest one first.

Using the tongs, slip the dildo tenderly into the dye bath to avoid splashing. Dark colors will set more quickly than lighter ones; the orange on the small dildo took an hour and a half to reach the intensity I wanted, while the blue on the largest one took only twenty minutes. I suggest checking the dye's progress every fifteen minutes. Take care when removing the dildo from the pot--get a firm grip on an area with no wax (if you've chosen to go the batik route) to avoid cracking the wax and/or dropping the dildo with a god-awful wall-painting splash.


Before: beige blah

Once the color has reached the shade you desire, pull the dildo out and rinse it off. Peel the wax off under cool water; hot water will only make it spread. Pat the dildo dry if you intend to do further batik designs. Some types of dye may require stabilizers or fixatives to be permanent. The Rit dye on the green dildo did not transfer to my skin under a sweat test (down my pants on a muggy day), but I still recommend that you put a condom on the toy for insertion and store dyed dildos in plastic bags separate from one another so that they don't share their color.


After: racing orange!

Batik: Wax on, wax off

Select a wax with the highest melting point that you can find; the dye solution has to be cool enough that the dye won't just melt off the dildo, but the hotter you can get the water, the better the dye will come out. Heat the wax gently. An electric frying pan is preferable for its precise temperature control, but a double-boiler will work as well. Either way, be sure that you don't burn the wax or set it on fire. The flash point of wax is above 300 degrees Fahrenheit, but even the hardest waxes melt around 150, so there's no reason to get it that hot.

Paint the wax on, alternating one stroke of the brush with one dip in the hot wax so that the cooling wax on the brush doesn't peel off all the painting you've done thus far. Relatively large but discrete designs work best, because big sheets will crack and thin details will peel off. Try to prevent the dildo from wobbling as you paint: grasp the shaft to paint the tip or base, grasp the head to paint the shaft.


Wax job

This photo shows the first phase of the rainbow dildo: the pale area outside the white dotted lines has been protected with wax, while the center has been dyed yellow. After the yellow dip, to create the green, blue and purple areas, I removed the first coat of wax and waxed over the areas that I intended to be yellow, orange, and red. After I had dipped the dildo in a blue bath, I removed the wax again and covered the areas that were to remain yellow, green, and blue. Dipping it in a red bath then produced the red, orange, and purple stripes.


Dip Dye

The batik process actually worked less well than I had hoped. I had originally planned to paint tiger stripes on the largest dildo and dye it alternately orange and black, but the design was too detailed and the wax peeled off. On the medium (rainbow) dildo, the wax cracked over a textured area on the top of the shaft, admitting later colors of dye and causing brown spots on the area I wanted to stay yellow.


Halfway there

So, while I had the blue dye going for the second phase of the rainbow, I carefully stood the largest dildo upright in the same pot. The head stayed unstained (save for a few stray drops). The color on the shaft and base was slightly shaded, as the dye was more intense toward the bottom of the pot. After I rinsed off the blue, I carefully stood it on its head in the pot of red dye, with the base hooked into the handle of the pot, submerging the head and part of the blue dyed area. I could probably have arranged a support system of lashed-together sticks or a bent wire hanger if the fit between base and handle had not been so fortuitous. The result was a tricolored toy with a sleek swoop of purple on the shaft.


No more drab dildos

Here are the finished results of my labors. I'm quite pleased, and hope that readers will be inspired to create toys that bring them aesthetic as well as physical bliss.

 

This article copyright TeratoMarty 2007, published with permission by Homemade-Sex-Toys.com.