Tired of hearing your man complain every time you use a dildo, whining because he feels like you’re cheating on him with a big, plastic dick? You can bet that nearly every sex-crazed female on the planet feels the same way. However, women get in the mood at different times than their male counterparts, and someone (or something) has to handle business. Luckily, there are plenty of perverted innovators in the world to suffice for this relatively unspoken need.
The solution to the problem: a little thing called a Clone-A-Willy, and it’s exactly what it sounds like. Developed by a company based out of Portland, Oregon – a well-known American city known for it’s less-than-average population, Clone-A-Willy toys are unique, customizable, high-quality sex toys that can be made in the comfort of your own home. Even better is the fact that your man-friend won’t be able to say a word when he catches you using it because it’s molded after the shape of his own cock.
The Clone-A-Willy may seem like a new invention to most women, but the company has actually been around since way back in 1997 when the film industry needed penis replicas of varied shapes and sizes for an upcoming movie. Since then, these fabulously freaky fuck wands have been featured on TV shows and major motion pictures like “Neighbors” starring Seth Rogan. It’s becoming apparent that the ladies love these things, so you need to know what’s going on before you get accused of living under a rock.
Moving way past movie props and gag gifts, these things are now mainstream because women have discovered that they’re not only usable but also 100% safe (and effective, if you know what I mean). Comprised of body-safe, skin-like materials that are commonly used for medical and/or prosthetic purposes, the Clone-A-Willy is just what the doctor ordered, literally. So, for all you Pinterest-loving, DIYers out there, listen up.
The 411 on the Clone-A-Willy
Since Empire Labs’ inception, this ubiquitous sex toy has inspired an entire lineup of products centered on the idea that women deserve pleasure too. For too long, men have had all the fun – pocket pussies, fake vaginas molded after famous porn stars, lifelike sex dolls, you name it. The time has come for the ladies to start being recognized as equally perverted people.
BONUS: You can get mad at your man all you want and never have to go without that good D ever again.
Now, some women might assume that making a realistic cast of her man’s junk is a difficult and complicated process, but the makers of the Clone-A-Willy have apparently thought of everything. The once expensive procedure is now easier than ever, requiring little more than a few supplies, 24 hours of patience, and a willing model. If you’re real concerned about your man feeling left out, the company also has a Clone-A-Pussy lineup for the fellas, but nobody wants to talk about that right now.
CLONE-A-WILLY PROMOTIONAL VIDEO
The superiority of the Clone-A-Willy toy to the traditional dildo is apparent. The originality and functionality of it is obvious because, honestly, where else can you get a homemade dick stick without shamefully traipsing through an adult toy store? Each of the penis casting kits comes with everything needed to make a life-size replica of your favorite family jewels, and best of all it doesn’t hurt your man in any way (unless he has a ton of pubic hair, then he should probably shave that shit before applying the molding material to avoid a painful, involuntary bikini wax).
Furthermore, the end result is crazy detailed – veins, pores, hair follicles, everything. No wonder they’re the most popular option for women (and men) who are looking for realistic genital molds that don’t cost an arm and a leg. No previous casting experience is necessary either. Each kit comes with a set of full instructions as well as a few tips and tricks for the overachievers out there. The process is relatively quick and can be a lot of fun if you do it right.
What Comes in the Clone A Willy Kit?
The cloning kit contains a complete set of materials and tools needed for the job, including the following items:
- Body-safe silicone
- A bag of algae-based molding powder
- A molding tube
- An insertable vibrator (not even kidding)
- A set of instructions
Interestingly, the Clone-A-Willy kit comes in various colors based on the skin tone you’re replicating, so shit can get real with a quickness. If you’re more of an adventurous spirit, however, the company also offers neon and glow-in-the-dark colors as well. NOTE: You don’t have to use the vibrator if that’s not your cup of tea, but if you do then you might think about buying a refill package to ensure you have enough material to offset the displacement.
Designed to help you create an exact vibrating silicone replica of any penis, the people at Clone-A-Willy have made every effort to keep it fun and safe. Personalized cock casting has never been more enjoyable or risk-free, with materials that are medically tested and packaged in air-tight containers. And for ladies who are worried about domestic economics, the entire shebang is made and assembled right here in the good ole U.S. of A.
Clone A Willy Accessories and Extras
The fun doesn’t stop with a simple cock clone either. Empire Labs has developed a variety of perverted products that take curiosity and creativity to a whole new level. Take their cock rings for example. Each one is varied in size, customizable, stretchy, and flexible enough to fit the mold no matter what size it ends up being. They come in several colors too, so coordinating it with your mold is a no-brainer.
The brand even has a penis pump as well, designed to help your man achieve a rock-hard erection before showtime. And even if he doesn’t use it for that, it’s fun to pump up the volume and recast later to track growth. Men love to brag about their dicks anyway but having life-sized replicas to compare is some next level shit.
Clone-A-Willy kits aren’t limited to only the shaft of the penis either. The company offers “Plus Balls” kits for that extra kick of realness. With everything being made from 100% platinum cured materials, you can wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am yourself into oblivion with or with your man being present and never have to worry about getting a nasty rash. If you want to mix things up a bit and make several molds with the same tube, simply buy a refill package, and go to town.
There are even some accessories that most women wouldn’t even think of as necessary, but they so are. From massage oils and playtime lip gloss to warming lubes and specially formulated toy cleaner, the brand’s website is like the Walmart of sex toys – a real one-stop-shop for your debauchery to-do list. What you won’t find, however, are ridiculously high prices. This brand seriously has its hand on the pulse of modern economics, with a cost-to-value ratio that deserves attention.
Look at their inventory and notice that you can get everything you need for under a hundred bucks, a price that’s much less than most dildos on the market today. They even have t-shirts, fanny packs, koozies, stickers, and temporary tattoos to browse. So, if you’re feeling like a fanatic after molding your man, you can shamelessly let the cat out of the bag with some sweet merch. Those items also make terrific gifts for your gal pals who haven’t yet discovered this miracle of modern technology like you.
Getting the right mold of your man’s junk is designed to be a super easy process with these kits, but that doesn’t mean the process requires no skill or finesse. Thankfully, the included instructions are well-written and concise, not to mention available in numerous languages. There are even provisions for dudes with curved penises, so you know the shit is intended for everybody.
At first glance, the inclusion of algae-based molding powder might be a turn off for some folks. However, the material is both gentle on the skin and easy to clean up after the molding procedure is finished. Derived from organic seaweed, it actually makes the dick softer afterwards. So, if your man is concerned about cock exfoliation and moisturization, let him know that the brand has him covered. The same goes for the ladies with the Clone-A-Pussy kits, so it’s smooth sailing for anyone who uses it.
The manufacturer recommends following the directions to the letter for best results, but that’s pretty much the case with any product on the modern market. With this shit, however, cutting corners is certainly a mistake and patience is definitely a virtue. The molds take no less than 24 hours to set up properly, so don’t get in too much of a rush. Furthermore, it’s important to let the cast sit in a cool, dry area to help it form up nicely. Hot or humid environments won’t help the cause one bit, so prepare a comfy and discrete spot ahead of time for the mold to do it’s thing.
Making (Not Breaking) the Mold
Keep in mind that the tube included in the kit is made to suffice for all sizes of penises, with dimensions totaling 11 inches by 2 ½ inches – plenty of room for nearly any man who’s not crossbred with a horse. However, that means you’ll have to do a few quick measurements before pouring the molding material inside, which of course should be done slowly to prevent unsightly and unrealistic air bubbles. As expected, the back of the instruction leaflet features a mixing, pouring, and measuring guide to help you and your man determine how to get the best result and where to cut the tube.
The whole thing is well-designed and high-end, especially considering the decent price tag attached. Even the tools in the kit are hypoallergenic, with everything made from materials that are free from potentially harmful contaminants like phthalates, latex, or other toxins. The final product is this fully self-contained, spongy, flexible, realistic-looking mold of your number one member – balls and all (if you so choose).
The mold is easy to get out of the tube as well, at least for the most part. There may be some slight tugging required to bust it loose, just be careful not to tear the material when you do it. The manufacturer also recommended gently adjusting the penis while it’s in the mold to ensure it’s not touching the sides of tube. Any contact will leave thin or transparent spots once the material is done setting up, and nobody wants to deal with that shit.
It’s important to note, though, that dicks measuring 9 inches or longer might require some extra materials for best results. Cocks with serious girth may also require the extra-large 7-inch vibrator, but don’t worry. The brand offers those as well, and they don’t cost much more than the standard 5 ¼-inch version. Put simply, size always matters, but Empire Labs has made it a little less important.
Also keep in mind that the size of the vibrator you use will determine how much of the powder you’ll need. At the same time, casting a cock without inserting a vibrator will reduce the amount of supplies required. So, the choice is ultimately up to you. Luckily, the toy’s designer took extra volume into consideration when packaging the 8-ounce bag of molding material, so chances are you won’t need anything more than what’s already included in the kit.
Me So Horny
Your man doesn’t have to wait for his dick to go soft before ejecting it from the tube either. Using basically the same stuff that dentists use to make molds of teeth, the material sets up quickly and doesn’t stick to the skin whatsoever. In fact, it won’t stain clothes, furniture, or carpeting if it gets spilled. However, once the color is added, that might be a different story.
To add a skin-like, neon, or glow-in-the-dark color to your mold, first mix it with the clear base before pouring into the tube.
Try to do this over non-carpeted flooring while wearing clothes that you don’t mind fucking up. This is as complicated as the process gets, and it’s not even that bad. Furthermore, it’s best to add the color to the powder ahead of time so you don’t run the risk of making your man wait around too long while trying to keep his dick erect. Remember that the brand also sells cock rings, so use those bad boys to your advantage. Slap one around the base of his junk to keep him standing at attention while you handle your business.
He’ll need to stay erect for at least 60-90 seconds while his family jewels are locked up in the mold, so kiss his neck or some shit. If he goes soft or you mess something up, a whole new kit is not necessary. Simply purchase another bag of molding powder and try the shit again. If you do it right, you’ll have a non-porous, completely washable penis replica to sit down on within 24 hours. Best of all, the thing won’t shrink over time no matter how many times you use it or how bad you abuse it.
In fact, the makers of the Clone-A-Willy seem to think that their product will outlast you if it’s maintained properly. Using a good water-based lube is always important and cleaning up after yourself helps as well. While a warm soap and water mixture will do the trick, it’s probably best to spring for the brand’s patented cleaning solution just in case.
For dudes with penis piercings and other unique cock characteristics, using the Clone-A-Willy isn’t a problem. They do suggest taking out any jewelry though, and that’s for obvious reasons. Uncircumcised dicks are welcome too. Regardless of what your man is packing, the kit will render a realistic replica every time. If done correctly, then what you put in will be exactly what you pull out.
As for dudes with tons of pubic hair, simply adding a little bit of petroleum jelly should prevent pulling, tugging, or impromptu wax jobs. He could also do a little manscaping if you can talk him into it, but either way is fine. Be prepared for those hair follicles to present themselves in the final product though. So, if he’s built like a bear, you’ll be fucking like an animal when all is said and done.
Regardless of how you do this or where it all takes place, cleaning up isn’t as big of a nightmare as you think. The material turns into a gel once it dries, so it’s easy to wipe it off from any nonporous surface. If you happen to spill a little on the carpet or a rug, don’t lose your mind. Just re-saturate the material with plain water and snatch the gel out by hand. It washes off of skin quickly and don’t leave a nasty film behind either.
Getting the Goods
Copping your cloning kit is made super easy by the manufacturing company who apparently knows the value of discretion. Each kit is shipped in a plain box marked only with the return address. This is strictly for return purposes only, as there is absolutely no indication of what lies inside the package.
Delivery time usually takes between 1 to 3 business days, so the entire process could be completed over the weekend if you place your order on time. Credit card and bank statements as kept discrete as well, with only the name of the company showing up on the receipt.
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The Final Verdict
Gone are the days of the men having all the fun. Clone-A-Willy and Clone-A-Pussy molding kits are gaining popularity faster than sex itself. If things keep going this way, the wonderful world of traditional dildos will have its work cut out for it – clamoring to cut off the competition like a loser in a fixed race. With so many possibilities and so much room for customization, who’s to say that women can’t make more than one mold? What her man doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?
This toy brings a whole new meaning to “Go fuck yourself.” It allows ladies to have as much fun as they desire without forcing them to use oddly-shaped, ill-equipped dildos that leave their men bitching, wondering, and feeling bad about themselves. Possibly considered the most revolutionary, at-home, DIY couple’s aid since the invention of the fifi, Clone-A-Willy toys are breaking the mold in all the right ways and putting the “master” back into “masturbation.”