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Foam Finger Vibrator


Foam Finger Vibrator

What you need:

  • Oversized foam #1 finger
  • Exacto knife
  • Mini vibrator with batteries


Before you start, make sure the batteries are in your vibrator. With the Exacto knife, cut a small slit long ways across the top of the foam index finger. Cut straight down into the foam to form a pocket large enough to accommodate your vibrator.


Insert the vibrator into the hole, base first. The foam should be flexible enough to allow you to turn the vibe on and off once it is inserted, but if not, turn it on before you put it in.


Put on the foam hand and give yourself or someone else the finger.

 

Mini Football Vibrator


Mini Football Vibrator

What you need:

  • Small-sized foam football
  • Long serrated knife
  • Small vibrator with batteries


With the knife, make a slit in the point at one end of the football, then insert the knife all the way through the football till the tip comes out the other end. I
 


Insert the vibrator in one end and push it in until it’s fully buried in the football. Leave a bit out on the end so you can access the controls and change the batteries


 

 

Beer Cozy Masturbator Sleeve


Beer Cozy Masturbator Sleeve

What you need:

  • Beer cozy
  • One-quart Ziploc zipper bag
  • Large bottle of hair gel
  • Packing tape
  • Lube


Squirt the hair gel into the Ziploc bag. Make sure not to overfill it – 8 to 10 ounces should be enough. Lay the bag on a flat surface and press out any excess air as you zip it closed to seal it.


Fold the zipper end of the bag over twice and secure one end of the fold with tape. Lay tape along the edge of the fold, sealing about two thirds of the length across. One end of the fold should remain free. Bring the edges of the bag together and secure them with a length of tape to form a tube, leaving one end untaped.


Insert the gel filled tube into the beer cozy, leaving the untaped end hanging out. Fold the untaped portion of the bag down over the edges of the beer cozy. Tape around the outside of the cozy so the edge of the bag is secured to the outside.

Squirt a little water-based lube into the tube (note: don’t use the leftover hair gel for this – it will get sticky and may irritate your Johnson). Insert your dick, and bang away



 

 

Condom Roll


Step 1: Put a condom in a toilet paper tube
Take one toilet paper (or paper towel) tube, one condom, and some lube. Put the condom inside the roll and stretch the opening of the condom across the opening of the tube. Fold the end of the condom over the end of the tube and hold with one hand.

Step 2: Pull the end for extra pleasure
Lube well and go at it like hell. BONUS: Pull on the tip of the condom while you jack and it feels like a blowjob.

 

Couch Love


Step 1: Fill up a bag
Take a small plastic bag and fill it with lube. Trust us, this is better than cyberskin.

Step 2: Love your couch
Place it between the cushions of your couch or between your mattress and box spring, get on your knees and pump away!

 

Dollar Store Sex Toys

Dollar Store Sex Toys

new! 3/11/09

Thank goodness for the dollar store. You can find practically anything there – even sex toys! Just take a look on the shelves and let your dirty mind do the rest. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Water Snake Toy
[Poor Man’s Dildo]

Well, what do you think it looks like? And the box even boasts about the impressive 7.5” length. This is a fluid-filled rubber tube that’s a little on the limp side for insertion, but could double as a jelly dildo in a pinch. What you can’t see is that the tube also has a hole running through the center of it, so a guy could lube it up, insert his dick, and use it as a masturbator.


Hand Clapper Toy
[Low-Rent S&M Paddle]

This is a fun toy for a kinky couple. Use it in place of a crop, flogger, or slapper to smack your partner’s ass. It will leave a hand-shaped imprint, make a loud sound, and it lights up too.


Stretchy Rubber Ring Toy
[Cheap Cock Ring]

Just like those super-stretchy cock rings that fit around the base of your dick and balls. These ones are covered with tickly little tentacles. We also found a stretchy, fluid-filled ring called the “Squeeze Donut” that could be put to similar use.


Mini Traffic Cone
[Discount Extreme Fabulous Butt Plug]

If you ever aspired to stick a traffic cone in your ass, here’s your chance. We found these with the office supplies. These miniature soft vinyl cones are about 4” tall and about 3” across at the base, with a rounded tip that makes insertion easy. Each traffic cone is imprinted with words of encouragement, like “Excellent Work!” “Perfect!” and “Fabulous!” to keep you motivated to reach your goal.


Refrigerator Clip Magnets
[No Frill Nipple Clamps]

Why pay more for nipple clamps when these will do just fine? There should be a variety to choose from, so you can find a size and pressure that you’re comfortable with. Some stores also carry wooden clothespins. The nice thing about the magnetic clips is that you can use the magnets to attach a little bit of weight, or you can stick your sub’s tits to the fridge.


Rubber Stamps
[Extra Value Everyday Wear Butt Plug]

These knob-shaped stamps are just the right size and shape for an anal plug. It might be a challenge to get the blunt knob to go in, but once it does, you can celebrate your “Great Job!” Get an inkpad and you can sit and stamp.


Hairbrush
[Cheap and Discreet Penetrator]

Many a woman first lost her virginity to a hairbrush handle. Most plastic hairbrushes have handles that will work for this, and they’re available in a variety of sizes, textures, and colors.


Fake Fruit
[Discount Faux Phallic Produce]

One of nature’s perfect dildos – but now it won’t squish or get overripe. This faux fruit is realistically sized, made of plastic covered styrofoam, and it makes part of an attractive display on your counter or coffee table. In the same area, we found fake Indian corn cobs that were larger in diameter and covered with bumpy kernels, as well as some phallic-shaped plastic cacti with soft rubbery spines.


Scrub Brushes
[G-Spot Stimulators]

Those ridges on the rubberized thumb grip are placed just right for hitting the G-spot. We also found some tire scrubbers in the auto section with curved handles that would be great for prostate massage. Check the kitchen utensil section for more phallic handles that will help you whip up an orgasm.

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Melon Lover


Step 1: Get a melon and scoop out a hole
Buy yourself a rock melon or honeydew melon. Cut a round hole in one end a bit smaller than your dick. Scoop out a little of the inside but not too much, remember, you’re making sex toys not digging ditches.

 

Melon Lover


Step 1: Get a melon and scoop out a hole
Buy yourself a rock melon or honeydew melon. Cut a round hole in one end a bit smaller than your dick. Scoop out a little of the inside but not too much, remember, you’re making sex toys not digging ditches.

 

Melon Lover


Step 1: Get a melon and scoop out a hole
Buy yourself a rock melon or honeydew melon. Cut a round hole in one end a bit smaller than your dick. Scoop out a little of the inside but not too much, remember, you’re making sex toys not digging ditches.

 

Melon Lover


Step 1: Get a melon and scoop out a hole
Buy yourself a rock melon or honeydew melon. Cut a round hole in one end a bit smaller than your dick. Scoop out a little of the inside but not too much, remember, you’re making sex toys not digging ditches.

 
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