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Frottage Frumpkin

Frottage Frumpkin

Step 1: Outline the pattern

Outline the areas to cut on the side of your pumpkin. The oval area at the
top is the clit stimulator, and the circular area is the vaginal plug;
these will both be raised. The channels on either side will be carved away
to make room for your labia when you sit on it.

Step 2: Dig in

Carve away the channels around and between the clit stimulator and vaginal
plug, being careful not to cut all the way through the pumpkin flesh.
Carve some ridges into the clit stimulator for an extra exciting texture.

Step 3: Wrap it up

Wrap the pumpkin in one or two layers of plastic wrap. Squirt some lube onto the plastic covering the contact area if desired. This will increase sensation.

Step 3: Grind on it

Set the pumpkin on the floor, bed, or a sturdy low table. Straddle and
mount it, positioning your clit over the stimulating ridge and your vagina
over the plug. Lower yourself until the vaginal plug penetrates you, and
then grind away till you cum.


Halloween Pumpkin Dildo

Step 1: Mark two concentric circles on the pumpkin

Trace around the base of your dildo, then make a circle around it at least one inch wider in diameter. In the center, mark a circle the diameter of your dildo.

Step 2: Make the lid

Cut out the center circle, then cut the outer circle at a shallow inward angle to form a “lid”

Step 3: Make room for the dildo

Insert the dildo into the hole in the lid, mark around the base on the underside, then use a spoon to scoop out the pumpkin flesh to make a niche for the dildo base to fit into.

Step 4: Check your fit

Make sure the dildo fits in flush with the pumpkin so the lid will sit properly.


Step 5: Place the dildo in the pumpkin

Fit the dildo into the lid and place on the pumpkin. Situate the pumpkin on the floor, a bed, or sturdy coffee table.

Step 6: Ride the orange pony


Go for it!


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Pumpkin Dildo

Pumpkin Dildo

Step 1: Mark two concentric circles on the pumpkin

Trace around the base of your dildo, then make a circle around it at least one inch wider in diameter. In the center, mark a circle the diameter of your dildo.

Step 2: Make the lid

Cut out the center circle, then cut the outer circle at a shallow inward angle to form a "lid".

Step 3: Make room for the dildo

Insert the dildo into the hole in the lid, mark around the base on the underside, then use a spoon to scoop out the pumpkin flesh to make a niche for the dildo base to fit into.

Step 4: Check your fit

Make sure the dildo fits in flush with the pumpkin so the lid will sit properly.

Step 5: Place the dildo in the pumpkin

Fit the dildo into the lid and place on the pumpkin. Situate the pumpkin on the floor, a bed, or sturdy coffee table.

Step 6: Ride the orange pony

Go for it!


Glove Love

Glove Love

Step 1: Fill the glove with goo

Roll up the cuff of a latex glove and scoop some pumpkin goop into it
until the hand is full. Leave room in the fingers for the goop to expand.

Step 2: Push it through a cardboard tube

Insert the glove full of goo into a toilet paper or paper towel tube fingers first. Squeeze into a cylindrical shape to get it to fit. Pull the fingers through the bottom of the tube.

Step 3: Tie it with a rubber band

Unroll the cuff of the glove over the outside of the tube and secure with
a rubber band.

Step 4: Feel the gooey goodness


Slide your hard cock into the glove and sink into the slippery wet pumpkin

– Heat for 10 seconds in the microwave to warm it up.
– For less mess, insert a plastic bag or another empty latex glove into
the center of the goo-filled tube and secure around the top with a rubber
band. Squirt some lube inside.


Pumpkin Goo Pussy

Pumpkin Goo Pussy

Step 1: Fill a plastic bag with pumpkin goo

Scoop the slimy goo from the inside of your pumpkin. Pick out the seeds if you have the patience. Put it in a plastic bag, like the kind you get at the grocery store for produce.

Step 2: Insert the bag into the tube

An empty plastic canister for tennis balls or hand balls is perfect. Slide the bag in and leave the end hanging out, and fold over the outside of the tube.

Step 3: Make a cover and cut a hole

Place a piece of plastic wrap or another plastic bag over the top of the tube. Pull taut and secure with a rubber band. Cut an X in the center to make a hole for your cock to fit in.

Step 4: Slide your cock in

Slide your cock into the slippery pumpkin goo and pump away.

Tip: Warm in the microwave for 10 seconds.
Tip: For less mess, after step two, insert a second plastic bag into the pumpkin-filled canister and secure around the top of the tube. Squirt some lube inside the inner bag.



King Dong Gorilla Suit

Want to make a splash this Halloween? This King Dong costume will make you the life of the party. Watch the girls go ape to get a mouthful as your appendage spurts sweet pina colada jizz.

We wanted to create a self-contained pump and reservoir system that
would fit within the gorilla suit for maximum mobility – basically an ejaculating dildo on steroids. A battery-powered water gun with an auxillary tank seemed like the ideal hydraulic system, but this didn’t have the firepower (enough pressure and flow) that we were looking for. We kept the water pack and substituted a battery-powered pump made for a camping shower, improvising a plumbing connection between the two. The outflow from the pump could then be routed through tubing and out the end of the dildo, which was worn in a harness under the costume. All of the plumbing, including the battery pack and switch for the pump, was worn and hidden inside the gorilla suit, with the switch activated by pressing it from the outside.

Materials and tools

  • Gorilla suit
  • Huge rubber dildo with balls or flared base (at least 8″ long)
  • Dildo harness
  • Fanny pack
  • Coleman camping pump
  • 4 D batteries (for the pump)
  • Super Soaker Max Infusion 100 oz. Backpack
  • 1/4″ polyethylene tubing (sold as replacement tubing for refrigerator door water/ice dispensers)
  • 1/4″ latex rubber tubing
  • Hose coupling (1/4″ to 3/8″)
  • 1/4″ hose clamp
  • Alligator clip or binder clip
  • Dremel tool with small saw and small grinder/sander attachments
  • Power drill
  • Metal shish kebab skewer and/or 3/16″ metal rod with sharp end (at least 10″ long)
  • Water-based lube
  • Utility knife and scissors
  • Pliers/wirecutters
  • Silicone household sealant or plumbers tape
  • Chalk
  • Pina Colada mix

Step 1: Get Pumped Up

The fittings for the Coleman pump unit and the Super Soaker pack are very compatible with some simple modifications. The Coleman pump intake has a removable piece with threads on the inside. It can be inserted on the inside of the large orange valve gasket from the Super Soaker pack so the pump and pack can be screwed together.

But first, the inside of the Super Soaker gasket must be prepared. Unscrew the large orange gasket fitting and use pliers to break or cut away the plastic struts holding the central piece. With the Dremel tool grinder or sander attachment, smooth out the inside of the barrel.

Use the Dremel saw to cut the inner barrel of the gasket down to about ¼”, being careful not to damage the threads inside. This should give the threaded part from the Coleman pump enough clearance so that you can fit the gasket over it, and screw it back onto the pump unit. Now you can attach the pump directly to the Super Soaker pack.

If the fittings are screwed in tightly enough, the seal should be nearly leakproof. We did a test run with water and the pressure from the pump was impressive.

You should cut the vinyl tubing from the pump to about half its length, since it is more than long enough. Also, on the Super Soaker pack, there is a piece of vinyl tubing on the other end that is meant to hook up to the water gun. Since this will not be used, you can cut the tubing off an inch or so away from the bag and fill it in with silicone caulk to plug it.

Step 2: Laying Pipe

Getting the hose through the dong is one of the more challenging parts of this project; it requires some patience and it may be unnerving to some. First, take your dildo and drill straight into the center of the head and the base with a 3/16″ bit to get things started.

Insert a shish kebab skewer into one end and slowly force it through until it comes out the other end, or is fully inserted. Our skewer was a few inches shorter than our 12″ dildo, so we went at it from both ends, then used a longer metal rod to ream out the passage.

Once you have cleared a line through the cock, you need to force the polyethylene tubing through. Although the tubing is fairly rigid, it was hard to push more than a few inches in. We succeeded by inserting our metal rod fully through the dildo, forcing the end of the tubing onto the rod, and then guiding the tubing through by simultaneously pulling the rod back out and pushing the tubing from the other side.


This process had to be facilitated with liberal amounts of water-based lube slathered onto the tubing as it was threaded in. It’s easiest to thread the tubing through from the base to the tip, and then cut the tubing off 8 to 10 inches from the base of the dong.

Step 3: The Hook Up

Now that you’ve got your dildo and your ejaculate reservoir and pump ready, you need to hook the two up. The Coleman pump tubing has a 1/2″ outer diameter and a 3/8″ inner diameter. The polyethylene tubing through the cock has a ¼” outer diameter and an inner diameter of about 3/16″. Somehow you have to get these together.

We ended up joining them using a length of ¼” latex tubing, a fitting salvaged from another type of battery powered water gun (the Speed Shark, which was our initial choice for a pump, but didn’t have enough pressure), and the plastic coupling attached to the Coleman pump hose. The latex tubing turned out to be a necessary element for flow regulation. Ideally, you’d be able to use one 1/4″ to 3/8″ coupling to link the latex tubing and the vinyl tubing from the pump, but we made due with an on-the-fly fix. This required drilling through the center of the Speed Shark fitting to widen its aperture and increase flow rate, and shaving the edges of the Coleman fitting down so that it could be screwed into the Speed Shark fitting.

The latex tubing was then used to connect the polyethylene tubing from the cock and the Speed Shark connector. Whatever coupling arrangement you use, you will probably need some additional sealant to prevent leakage, either silicone caulk or plumbers tape. We used the latter. You will probably also need a ¼" hose clamp to keep fluid from leaking out between the poly tubing and the latex tubing, although we just twisted a piece of wire around it tightly.

Step 4: In the Hole

Next we need to prepare the gorilla suit. Put on your strap on harness to get an idea of where your cock will be hanging. You will probably need to wear it slung low, a little below your actual package, both for personal comfort and so the tubing from the base of the cock does not get crimped. Put on the gorilla suit, pull it up to the waist, and use chalk to mark the spot on the inside where the dildo will be attached to the harness.

Cut an opening in the front of the gorilla suit, either a circle or an X, big enough to let the dong pass through. The hole doesn’t have to be perfect, since the fur will cover up any rough edges. However, you may want to reinforce the opening with duct tape to keep the fabric from tearing.

Step 5: Fill Your Tank

Mix up a batch of your favorite pina colada recipe. Actually, you’ll probably need a few batches to fill the 100 oz. capacity of the Super Soaker pack. This recipe will get you close:

2 ½ cups light rum or Malibu
3 ¾ cups pineapple juice
2 ½ cups sweetened cream of coconut
Mix in a blender and chill.

Pour into the Super Soaker pack and screw the pump unit on. Place an alligator or binder clip on the latex tubing to prevent leakage through the cock before you’re ready.


Step 6: Strap It On

Time to gear up. First, insert the cock into the harness, making sure that the tubing is situated so it will pass between your legs or to the side. Put the harness on and position the cock so the tubing is unimpeded. Buckle the fanny pack around your waist so the pouch is on one side and place the battery pack/switch unit in the fanny pack. Put the Super Soaker pack on upside down, so that the pump and hose are on the bottom. The pump needs a little help from gravity to get the liquid to feed correctly.

Step 7: Suit Up and Fire at Will

Get into your monkey suit and slip the dildo through the opening in the front. Have a friend tuck all the tubes and wires into the back and close the back of the costume for you.

When you’re ready to let loose with a flood of sweet sticky goodness, release the clip from the latex tubing. Press the power switch for the pump (you should be able to do this through the suit). You may need to jump around a bit to get the liquid flowing through the tubes and force out the air bubbles.

Once your pump is primed, you may really start gushing. The pump will spray the liquid to a distance of five or six feet. Keep the clip handy to snap back on the latex tubing so you don’t blow your whole load prematurely.

If you want to shoot your wad all at once, just unclip the tubing and switch on the pump. The pump will spray a hard and steady stream that will exhaust your liquid reserves within couple of minutes. To come in “spurts” switch the pump on and off and/or pinch the latex tubing to temporarily stop and release the flow. Once you’ve drained your tank, switch off the pump to avoid damaging the motor. Re-clip the tubing and “shake off” to clear your plumbing.

Your friends will probably end up wearing more of your emissions than drinking them, so we recommend this costume for outdoor use.

DP Pumpkin

DP Pumpkin

Step 1: Cut two "lids" in the side of the pumpkin

For each dildo, trace and cut two sets of concentric circles. The inner circle should be the diameter of the dildo, the outer circle about an inch wider in diameter than the base of the dildo. Cut the inner circle straight through, and cut the outer circle at a shallow inward angle.

Step 2: Fit the dildos into the pumpkin

Carve the underside of each "lid" so that the base of the dildo fits into it flushly. Insert the dildo into the center hole, trace the base around the under side with a knife, and use a spoon to scoop out the pumpkin flesh to hollow out a niche.

Step 3: Position the peckers

Situate the two dildos in the pumpkin and set it in place on the floor, bed, or a sturdy coffee table.

Step 4: Sit on it

Straddle the pumpkin and insert the larger dildo first, into your pussy. Lower yourself onto the pumpkin and insert the smaller dildo into your anus (use lube!). Sit and grind on the two cocks till you reach orgasm.


Foam Finger Vibrator

Foam Finger Vibrator

What you need:

  • Oversized foam #1 finger
  • Exacto knife
  • Mini vibrator with batteries

Before you start, make sure the batteries are in your vibrator. With the Exacto knife, cut a small slit long ways across the top of the foam index finger. Cut straight down into the foam to form a pocket large enough to accommodate your vibrator.

Insert the vibrator into the hole, base first. The foam should be flexible enough to allow you to turn the vibe on and off once it is inserted, but if not, turn it on before you put it in.

Put on the foam hand and give yourself or someone else the finger.


Glow-in-the-Dark Sex Toys

Glow-in-the-Dark Sex Toys

new! 10/15/09

What could be more in the spirit of Halloween than a disembodied glowing dildo? Enact your alien abduction and probing fantasy with a luminescent vibrator, or play demonic lover with a glowing cock ring. If nothing else, it’s easier to find your toys when the lights go out.

Happy Hallow-weenie everybody!

Dem bones, dem bones, dem boners

Ectoplasmic ghost jizz

Time Lapse Photos

Not all glow-in-the-dark products are created equal, so we tested out a few different types of glowing sex toys to see how they performed. We turned off the lights and photographed these toys at 5-minute intervals (using 75-second exposures). Most of them lost their luster after the first 5 minutes, but some still glowed on into the night.

This hefty dildo lit up like a light bulb, and even after half an hour, still had some light left in it.

You could read by the light of this mini-vibe at first, but it faded after 15 minutes

Toys that glowed the brightest and longest were those made from white or light green material, while other colors had a considerably dimmer wattage.

You can see how different materials and colors performed. The Cyberskin dildo and orange vibrator glowed, but not nearly as bright as the other toys.

The orange glow-in-the-dark vibrator (at right) was not the brightest of the bunch

Tips for Using Glow in the Dark Toys

Just a few minutes – Most glow-in-the-dark materials reach their maximum charge with just few minutes near a direct, bright light. The material also absorbs heat energy from the light source, so if you set the toy near a warm incandescent or halogen bulb, it will really charge up. Don’t get too close though – you don’t want to melt your dildo. If you’re using a single bright light source, it’s a good idea to turn the toy a few times to evenly expose all of the sides and give it an even “tan,” otherwise you’ll have light and dark patches.

A bright halogen utility light will supercharge your glowing toys

Take cover – They aren’t radioactive, but sex toys that glow in the dark are mostly made of more “chemical-y” materials (the kind with the “new car” smell), and may contain ingredients that could cause irritation or have other health effects. Wash the items thoroughly before use (and after) and cover them with a condom. If it’s a clear condom most of the glow should come through. You could even use a glow in the dark condom.

Recharge as needed – Most items we tried glowed for between 10 to 20 minutes. Most of the glow fades during the first 5 minutes, then steadily decreases. Fifteen or so minutes will probably be long enough to do whatever you need to do, but if you need to recharge, it won’t take long. About 30 seconds close up under a bright light will bring the glow back to most items. Just keep a light nearby to switch on as necessary.

Getting Creative

We had some fun playing around with some other glow-in-the-dark props. Glow in the dark toys also look spectacular under black light.

Cock ring toss – bullseye!

Glow-on-glow action with a glowing fake pussy and a vibrator

Football Vibrator

Football Vibrator

What you need:

  • Standard-sized foam football
  • Long serrated knife
  • Bullet vibrator with batteries
  • Marker

At one end of the football, draw a circle around the point that’s about the diameter of the bullet vibe. Use the knife to cut straight down into the foam around the circumference of the circle, penetrating at least four inches into the football. When you have cut completely around the circle, pull out the foam plug that you’ve created. If necessary, use the knife to trim out the foam near the bottom of the hole.

On the side of the football, a few inched from the end that you just cut into, make another circle that is the size of the controller/battery pack for the vibrator. Cut around the outside of the circle, straight in towards the middle of the football so you’re making a tube that’s perpendicular to the one in the end. Make sure the knife goes in far enough so it meets the other hole. Extract the foam plug. If your vibrator’s controller is square, you may want to cut a square or rectangular section out of the foam so you can set it in flush with the surface.

Make sure you have put the batteries into the vibrator’s battery pack. Now insert the bullet completely into the hole in the side of the football. Push it up into the vertical hole so it will come out the end of the football. You may have to insert fingers in both holes to push and guide it through. When it’s aligned with the end of the ball, push any remaining wires into the side hole and insert the controller, leaving the knob or dial exposed. Now you’re ready for kickoff.


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