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Household Pervertible: Pool Noodles

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We’ve had a couple of reader suggestions involving this poolside accessory. One resourceful fellow who didn’t want to buy a dildo sent us these instructions for how to make one using a foam pool noodle:

Cut a length of hollow pool noodle to the desired length. Slip it over a broomstick or toilet plunger handle (this will be removed and is just to make the noodle rigid for the next step). Take a long latex balloon (the kind used to make balloon animals) and roll it onto the end of the noodle and over its length, like a condom. Slip the noodle off of the broomstick. This should give you a firm but flexible dildo.

If your pool noodle is hollow (and your own noodle isn’t too big), you may also be able to use a length of pool noodle as a masturbator. Squirt some lube inside and see how it fits.

The nice thing about foam noodles is that if you mess up or need to make a replacement, you’ve got a few extra feet of material to work with.

DIY Project: Electric Toothbrush Vibrator Attachment – The Ultimate Sex Toy For Masturbation!

The electric toothbrush is one of the most popular improvised sex toys: it’s cheap, effective, convenient, and discreet. The only problem is the bristles. Don’t let abrasion ruin your buzz. Here’s how to turn a worn out brush head into a clit-friendly toothbrush attachment. Thanks to the reader who suggested this.

Materials:

  • Oral B electric toothbrush (Triumph, ProfessionalCare, Vitality, Advanced Power, or another toothbrush_sm2.jpgmodel that accepts the Precision Clean brush head)
  • Oral B Precision Clean toothbrush head (used or new)
  • Cap from a tube of After Bite insect bite treatment
  • Dremel tool with grinding attachment, nail file, or pencil with sandpaper wrapped around the eraser end
  • Medicine dropper with a rubber bulb
  • Scissors
  • Model airplane glue
  • Jelly cock ring “ticklers” (optional)

 

Instructions

toothbrush_sm3.jpgRemove the cap from the medication tube. The medication’s main ingredient is ammonia, so you will need to wash the cap thoroughly with soap and water to remove the smell. In the center of the top of the cap is an indentation with a small nub of plastic that sticks up. With the Dremel tool, nail file, or sandpaper, sand the nub down until it is flush with the surface and the cap feels smooth to the touch.

Turn the cap over and sand around the inner lip of the cap. It needs to be enlarged slightly to fit over the toothbrush head, but you want it to fit tightly. Sand evenly to enlarge the opening slightly. toothbrush_sm4.jpg

Fit the cap over the toothbrush head. Be sure that all the bristles are inside the cap (this will be more difficult if you are using an old toothbrush head). If it still seems much too small to fit, sand the interior a little more.

Use a blunt edge like the back of scissors to press the edge of the toothbrush head into the cap until it snaps in. If the cap fits tightly it should stay in place even while the toothbrush is turned on. If you want to create a permanent attachment, you can glue the cap in place over the toothbrush head. Or you can omit the glue for a removable covering. Your toothbrush vibrator is now ready for use as is. If you would like to add a rubber covering, proceed to the next step.

Thumbnail image for toothbrush_sm5.jpgCut the rubber bulb off a medicine dropper. This will be used as a cover or cushion for the plastic cap. The section you cut off should be a couple of millimeters longer than the height of the cap because it will be stretching over a larger area.

 

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Pull the rubber tip over the cap and glue into place. The edge of the rubber should be flush with the rim of the cap. If it hangs over too much it may rub against the toothbrush shaft and interfere with the movement of the brush head.

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If you would like an even softer surface or a different texture, you can slip an optional jelly cock ring with stimulators around the modified toothbrush head. The rubber surface will hold it in place. The nubs of the cock ring are perfect for tickling around the clit or around the tip of a cock head. This toy is not intended for insertion – however, it’s ideal for scrubbing away built up sexual tension. Use some water-based lube to reduce friction on sensitive areas.

Doggie Doll Redux

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You’ll have to excuse us for being little skeptical when we heard about a new sex toy – for pooches. The  prosaicly named DoggieLoveDoll debuted this week at a pet trade show in Brazil.

The prototype is a dog-shaped dummy made of red plastic, with a rubber orifice (not clear if it’s a vagina or anus, so it doesn’t matter which way Fido swings).

This product is being touted as “the world’s first dog sex toy”, but it looks awfully familiar. Perhaps you remember the HotDoll from a couple of years ago?

Despite all the hype, the HotDoll never materialized. Apparently it was just an attention-getting gimmick for a European design agency. But we have to say it was a lot more aesthetically pleasing than the DoggieLoveDoll.

Just compare the sleek, sensuous curves of the HotDoll with the chunky, seamed plastic of this newcomer. Which one would you rather hump?

Is the DoggieLoveDoll genuine, or is it just another hoax product put out to promote its “manufacturer”, Petsmiling? We’ll believe it’s the real deal when we see it at Petco.

Household Hints With Sex Toys

hh_01.jpgYou’d be surprised at how many things you can do with a butt plug – besides stick it in the obvious place.

Here at Homemade Sex Toys, our main business is to take everyday materials and common household items and turn them into sexual gadgets. But just for kicks, we decided to go the other direction – take some off-the-rack sex toys, and see how we could put them to work around the house. Think of it as the opposite of pervertibles.

Maybe you want to get some extra mileage out of some tired toys, or perhaps you bought something that just didn’t work out for you. Our household hints will show you how to creatively repurpose them. Discover butt plug door stops, cock ring cable keepers, double dildo wrist rests, and more.

We hope our tips will inspire you to find the hidden potential in your sex toy collection.

Vibrate Your Way to Health

vibrator.jpgA new study confirms what many women (and many men) have known all along: vibrator users don’t just have a healthy glow – they actually are healthier, sexually anyway. Women who use vibrators, either alone or with a partner, are more likely to have had a recent gynecological exam, are more likely to have done a recent genital self-exam, and have better overall sexual functioning than average. The same goes for men who use vibrators (except the gynecological part).

We can’t claim that there’s any cause and effect here, or that using a vibrator is necessarily going to make you healthier or more sexually functional. But the correlation between vibrator use and sexual health only makes sense. In fact, if the study were expanded to include all sex toys, we wouldn’t be surprised if it yielded similar results. People who are comfortable using sex toys are probably going to be more in touch with their bodies and their sexual and reproductive organs, and more aware of sexual and reproductive health issues.

More good news from this study: vibrator users rarely report any side effects. Another interesting bit of data: about half of Americans use vibrators (53% of women surveyed, and 45% of men). We don’t know if they counted the folks who use electric toothbrushes, cell phones, vibrating game controllers, or other homemade devices. 

Doggie Doll Redux

dogdoll.jpg

You’ll have to excuse us for being little skeptical when we heard about a new sex toy – for pooches. The  prosaicly named DoggieLoveDoll debuted this week at a pet trade show in Brazil.

The prototype is a dog-shaped dummy made of red plastic, with a rubber orifice (not clear if it’s a vagina or anus, so it doesn’t matter which way Fido swings).

This product is being touted as “the world’s first dog sex toy”, but it looks awfully familiar. Perhaps you remember the HotDoll from a couple of years ago?

Despite all the hype, the HotDoll never materialized. Apparently it was just an attention-getting gimmick for a European design agency. But we have to say it was a lot more aesthetically pleasing than the DoggieLoveDoll.

Just compare the sleek, sensuous curves of the HotDoll with the chunky, seamed plastic of this newcomer. Which one would you rather hump?

Is the DoggieLoveDoll genuine, or is it just another hoax product put out to promote its “manufacturer”, Petsmiling? We’ll believe it’s the real deal when we see it at Petco.

FAQ: Since You Assed

Today we present an all-anal edition of Sex Toy Questions. Because we don’t want you doing anything half-assed.
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Q: As a guy, I have only just discovered the pleasure of a vibrator and have started to use one in my ass.  I have an important medical shortly for a work-related insurance policy.  When the doctor examines me, will he know I have been inserting a vibrator in my ass?

A: No, he won’t be able to tell. When he inserts a gloved finger into your rectum, he’s going to be checking your prostate for enlargement or lumps. Using a vibrator won’t cause any changes in your prostate (in fact, it may make your prostate healthier!), and inserting a vibrator anally will not cause any changes in your rectal tissue or muscles. Unless you are unusually sore or inflamed, he won’t be able to tell a thing.

Q: Can I insert an anal probe into my vagina?

A: Sure, there’s no reason you can’t use an anal toy for vaginal insertion. But be careful if it has previously been in your ass. If you are going to mix your anal and vaginal toys, you need to be scrupulous about hygiene. Wash everything with antibacterial soap and hot water, or boil them if they’re silicone. If your anal probe is long and slender, use some care. The vaginal canal will stretch to accommodate depth, but sudden jabbing could cause internal bruises.

Q: G-spot vibrators and prostate vibrators seem to have some similarities in design. Can a G-spot vibrator be used on the prostate to achieve orgasm?

A: Absolutely. In fact, the prostate is sometimes referred to as “the male G-spot” (or the “P-spot”). Toys that are curved or have a bump designed to hit the G-spot can just as easily be inserted anally and used to put pressure on the prostate. G-spot toys tend to be a little bigger than prostate toys, so start out small if you’re new to anal stimulation.

Q: How do you keep an anal toy from popping out while you’re moving?

A: We assume you mean moving around in bed, not walking down the street. Either way, if you want an anal toy that stays put, you really need to get a butt plug, or something butt-plug shaped, with a bulbous body, a narrow neck, and a wide flange. A toy with the right shape should stay put by itself. For extra security, get a butt plug harness – a belt-like device that keeps the plug strapped in. If you’re not doing anything too vigorous, try the wedgie method – insert the toy, put on a pair of tight undies, and pull them into your crack.

Q: Will anal beads get stuck in my ass?  Will I be able to get them out?

A: Anal beads and similarly constructed toys often have a pull ring on one end, so you can avoid losing them up there. If they don’t have a ring or handle, don’t insert the last bead or two, so you have something to grasp onto. If they do all go inside, don’t panic. Just bear down and you will probably be able to push out at least one bead, then grab them from there.

Fun With Food: Cucumbers

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Millions of women (and men) have already discovered the cucumber’s potential as a dildo. In fact, it’s hard to pick one up in the produce aisle without thinking something dirty. But some guys have found another use for the cool cuke: a handheld masturbation sleeve.

You’ll need a cucumber that is nice and thick, about two inches in diameter, and at least a couple of inches longer than your dick. At the height of the season, you shouldn’t have trouble finding a large one. Needless to say, you should pass over the expensive (and too slender) cellophane-wrapped English cukes.

Cut both ends off the cucumber. At one end, be sure to expose the full thickness of the cucumber’s flesh. Dig into it with a spoon and/or knife, and hollow out the seeds and interior. You’ll need to cut away just enough of the inner wall that you can slide your cock in. You want to keep it tight, and you want the cucumber walls to hold up. It doesn’t have to be perfectly smooth inside. Some ridging on the interior can add interesting texture.

You can tunnel straight through so both ends of the cuke are open. We suggest keeping the opening at the far end narrower, so you can block it off with your fingers or palm for more suction on the out-stroke.

Warm the cuke to body temperature by immersing it in hot water. You could pop it in the microwave, but for something this small, we recommend water submersion instead. Nuking it for even a few seconds could make it hot enough to burn you, or cook it and make it unusable.

Slide into your cucumber’s naturally slippery juices, or lube it up with a squirt of vegetable oil, and enjoy the salad days of summer.
 

Homemade Sex Toy: Fun in the Sun

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Beach Pail Pussy

Many readers have recommended water wings (inflatable arm bands) as a male masturbation device. Now that summer’s here, it’s time to try this one out. If the thong bikinis and firm, oiled flesh are getting you worked up, relieve some of the tension with a discreet seaside sex toy made from common beach accoutrements.

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Materials:

  • Small plastic beach pail
  • Child-sized water wing inflatable armband
  • Sunscreen or lotion

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Instructions

Pick a flat area on the beach to position your device. Dig a hole in the sand large enough and deep enough to accommodate the bucket so that the top is just flush with the surface of the sand. An ideal spot will have dry sand on the surface, and slightly damp sand a couple of inches underneath. This will make it easier to dig the hole without the sand continually sliding back in.

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Fit the bucket into the hole and push sand up around the outside of the bucket to brace it in place. Try not to get too much sand in the bucket or on the rim of the bucket.

Inflate the water wing and adjust to your desired tightness. If it has two air chambers, you may want to inflate one more than the other for variations in pressure and texture.

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Insert the water wing into the bucket. Be careful not to get sand on the surface of the vinyl. This can cause discomfort and genital skin damage. If the water wing is partially inflated, put the less inflated part on top and arrange into labial folds if desired. Give it a moment to warm in the sun, but don’t let it get too hot!d

Squirt some sunscreen or lotion into the water wing. Laying face down over the bucket, insert your penis into the center and hump away. With your body stretched out in the sand or on a beach blanket, you can work on your tan and no one will be able to see what’s going on underneath you. When you’re finished, rinse everything out in the ocean and build a sandcastle.

A Handgun Is Not a (Sex) Toy

toygun.jpgThis entry could be a “Weird Sex Toy of the Week”, if it wasn’t so tragic.

At Homemade Sex Toys, we always try to emphasize safety and common sense. Which is why we were disturbed by a recent news story. While using a gun during foreplay, a woman fatally shot her partner.

“She describes it as playing ‘dirty cowboy,’ ” McCorvey said. “She did admit to being in possession of the handgun and using it as a toy during foreplay with the victim’s acquiescence and request for it to be used in that manner.”

Both McCorvey and Newman declined to elaborate on the type of foreplay the couple was engaged in or what “dirty cowboy” meant. Newman declined to say if the couple had played the game before.”

We have to admit that “dirty cowboy” is a new one on us, and we we thought we’d heard of just about everything.

Now, we know some folks are into “edge play” – sexual play with an element of danger in the form of knives, guns, breath restriction, etc. But as this incident points out, accidents can happen – very bad accidents.

And we’re not taking a position on gun control here, but we think most everyone can agree that using a firearm (especially a loaded one!) as a sex toy or a prop in sexual roleplaying, is not a good idea. Neither is using power tools in the bedroom.

Just because someone consents to or requests a dangerous or potentially deadly act, that doesn’t make it OK, and it won’t get you off the hook legally if the scene goes terribly wrong. So don’t feel bad about saying no if someone asks you to do something to them that could kill or maim them. And if you do have a handgun in the bedroom, let’s hope it’s in a gun safe.