DIY Sex Blog

February 2010 Archives

Bed, Bath, and Beyond

ducksoap.jpgI saw a new sex toy today - a vibrator imbedded in a bar of soap. It got me thinking - first about our own soap masturbation toy, then about things people do in the bathroom.

Besides the bedroom, the bathroom is probably the next most popular room of the house for having sex and/or masturbating. It makes sense - some people can't get privacy anywhere else, you're usually at least partly undressed in there, and the running water makes for easy clean-up or disposal of evidence. And if you have a shower massager, sometimes the water is the best way to get off.

The other benefit of the bathroom is a ready supply of slippery substances to use as lubricants. But just because that lotion is safe to rub on your hands, it doesn't mean it won't irritate your johnson if you use it to jerk off.  Here are a few guideline for using toiletries as improvised lubricants.

For male masturbation:
  • Lotion is popular, but the fragrances may irritate your genitals, so use unscented if possible. If you do use scented lotion, wash it off afterwards.
  • Don't use your Axe body wash. Your junk will smell great, but your dick may get irritated and dry. Same goes for deodorant soaps, scented soaps, and shampoos.
  • Use at your own risk: toothpaste, Vicks, Gold Bond powder. It might seem exciting, but jerking off with Ben-Gay or Icy Hot will put you in a world of hurt.

For insertion (girls and guys):
  •  Again, stay away from scented products. Some unscented lotions or creams may be OK to use as lube, but they aren't meant for internal use, so use caution.
  • Soap or shampoo of any kind is not a good lube. It will irritate your vaginal or anal membranes.
  • Water-based lubricants will wash away in the shower, but you can use silicone-based lubes.
  • If someone gets you one of those penis-shaped soap-on-a-rope things, don't use it as a dildo. It will smart.

10 Questionable Valentine's Sex Toy Gifts

Buying your sweetheart a sexy toy for Valentine's can be fun and romantic - as long as you don't buy the wrong thing. Here are a few "don'ts" to help you avoid a V-Day disaster.

1. Heart-Shaped Anal Beads

heartbeads2.jpgHearts are romantic. Unless they're going into your butt.



2. Oral Sex Mints
oralmints2.jpgNumbs the gag reflex while it freshens your breath. The passive-aggressive way of telling your mate, "I want you to blow me like a porn-star. And by the way, you have halitosis."



3. Anal Balloon Pump

balloon2.jpg
Your sweetheart wants a balloon bouquet, not a balloon in the tuckus.



4. Jawbreaker Ball Gag
jawbreaker1.jpgStick to a box of those chalky Valentine hearts.



5. Chocolate Clone-a-Pussy
chocopussy2.jpgNo, nimrod - you're supposed to get her a box of chocolates, not a kit to make her box into a chocolate bar.



6. Thigh Exerciser Sex Machine
thighmaster2.jpgAgain, as a gift, this sends the wrong message, i.e., "You have thunder thighs."



7. Mighty Merlin Dagger Dildo
merlin2.jpgIt's exactly what it looks like: an electric cattle prod.



8. Joy Finger
finger2.jpgThis would be more appropriate for a Halloween party than a Valentine's date.



9. Vibrating Pleasure Periscope
periscope2.jpgArrgh, matey - G-spot off the starboard bow!



10. Glass Heart Butt Plug
glassheart2.jpg"Oh, a beautiful crystal wine stopper. Wait, it goes where?"


The Sincerest Form of Flattery

You know what they say about imitation. However, “flattered” doesn’t completely describe the feeling you get when you see someone else selling a dead ringer for one of your creations.

thighmasters.jpg

On the left you see our Thigh Exerciser Sex Toy, which we posted in January 2008 (see our writeup on Gizmodo). On the right is the Uniram Sex Machine, which we just discovered the other day, but which seems to have come out sometime in mid-2009.

Granted, we can’t claim that our idea was wholly original. Others have combined exercise equipment and sex toys, such as this “Personal Exercise System” that we included in our feature on Sex Toy Patents.

exercise.jpgMaybe we should have filed a patent for our device, but we’re not in the business of producing toys for mass consumption. We’re here to show you how to make your own and save money.

So go get yourself a ThighMaster off of eBay, a $10 vibrator, and some random nuts and bolts, and check our how-to. There - you just saved $150. You’re welcome.

10 Funniest YouTube Sex Toy Videos

sextoyTV.jpg

You'll find a lot of sex-toy-related videos on YouTube. Some are instructional. Some are dirty. Many are sales pitches. You can also find some good DIY tutorials for homemade projects. But just for fun, we've rounded up some of the more entertaining ones for your viewing pleasure.

1. Sex Toy Story

A slick parody of the Pixar blockbuster.

2. The Dildo Song

A classic. You'll have this ditty stuck in your head for days.

3. "It's a Dildo" - The Office UK

Ummm...awk-ward.

4. Granny Finds a Dildo

Oh, these new-fangled inventions!

5. Boys Can Wait

A public service announcement from Technical Virgins.

6. Dildo on the News

Is that a dildo or the SWAT team's battering ram? Watch for it at 0:15.

7. Butt Plug Prank Call

The man has a simple request. Confusion and hilarity ensue.

8. White Water Rafting w/Blow Up Dolls

Not so much rafting as river crossing. You can barely hear the audio, but they're speaking Russian or something anyway.

9. The Factory: How a Dildo Is Made

Repurposed retro film footage used to make an educational short you never saw in grade school.

10. Pineapple-Shaped Dildo

There's no substitute for the real thing. 




About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from February 2010 listed from newest to oldest.

January 2010 is the previous archive.

March 2010 is the next archive.

This is the blog for Homemade Sex Toys, delivering homemade sex toy projects to you for almost 10 years.

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