DIY Sex Blog

New Tiger Toys Have Major Wood

tigerwoods.jpgRight about on schedule, following the revelation of his extramarital dalliances and subsequent public apology, Tiger Woods has joined Sarah Palin among the ranks of celebrities immortalized as sex dolls.

Pipedreams has come out with a complete line of Tiger Woods sex toy products, including the Tuggin' Tiger Wind-Up, the Take-Home Tiger Love Doll , and the Tiger's Wood Cover 4-inch condom - complete with the requisite wood, iron, and hole jokes.

Well, given how Tiger's sexcapades have damaged his professional career, at least he still has *some* options left for product endorsements. We're waiting for Viagra to pick him up as a pitchman sometime soon.

Bed, Bath, and Beyond

ducksoap.jpgI saw a new sex toy today - a vibrator imbedded in a bar of soap. It got me thinking - first about our own soap masturbation toy, then about things people do in the bathroom.

Besides the bedroom, the bathroom is probably the next most popular room of the house for having sex and/or masturbating. It makes sense - some people can't get privacy anywhere else, you're usually at least partly undressed in there, and the running water makes for easy clean-up or disposal of evidence. And if you have a shower massager, sometimes the water is the best way to get off.

The other benefit of the bathroom is a ready supply of slippery substances to use as lubricants. But just because that lotion is safe to rub on your hands, it doesn't mean it won't irritate your johnson if you use it to jerk off.  Here are a few guideline for using toiletries as improvised lubricants.

For male masturbation:
  • Lotion is popular, but the fragrances may irritate your genitals, so use unscented if possible. If you do use scented lotion, wash it off afterwards.
  • Don't use your Axe body wash. Your junk will smell great, but your dick may get irritated and dry. Same goes for deodorant soaps, scented soaps, and shampoos.
  • Use at your own risk: toothpaste, Vicks, Gold Bond powder. It might seem exciting, but jerking off with Ben-Gay or Icy Hot will put you in a world of hurt.

For insertion (girls and guys):
  •  Again, stay away from scented products. Some unscented lotions or creams may be OK to use as lube, but they aren't meant for internal use, so use caution.
  • Soap or shampoo of any kind is not a good lube. It will irritate your vaginal or anal membranes.
  • Water-based lubricants will wash away in the shower, but you can use silicone-based lubes.
  • If someone gets you one of those penis-shaped soap-on-a-rope things, don't use it as a dildo. It will smart.

10 Questionable Valentine's Sex Toy Gifts

Buying your sweetheart a sexy toy for Valentine's can be fun and romantic - as long as you don't buy the wrong thing. Here are a few "don'ts" to help you avoid a V-Day disaster.

1. Heart-Shaped Anal Beads

heartbeads2.jpgHearts are romantic. Unless they're going into your butt.



2. Oral Sex Mints
oralmints2.jpgNumbs the gag reflex while it freshens your breath. The passive-aggressive way of telling your mate, "I want you to blow me like a porn-star. And by the way, you have halitosis."



3. Anal Balloon Pump

balloon2.jpg
Your sweetheart wants a balloon bouquet, not a balloon in the tuckus.



4. Jawbreaker Ball Gag
jawbreaker1.jpgStick to a box of those chalky Valentine hearts.



5. Chocolate Clone-a-Pussy
chocopussy2.jpgNo, nimrod - you're supposed to get her a box of chocolates, not a kit to make her box into a chocolate bar.



6. Thigh Exerciser Sex Machine
thighmaster2.jpgAgain, as a gift, this sends the wrong message, i.e., "You have thunder thighs."



7. Mighty Merlin Dagger Dildo
merlin2.jpgIt's exactly what it looks like: an electric cattle prod.



8. Joy Finger
finger2.jpgThis would be more appropriate for a Halloween party than a Valentine's date.



9. Vibrating Pleasure Periscope
periscope2.jpgArrgh, matey - G-spot off the starboard bow!



10. Glass Heart Butt Plug
glassheart2.jpg"Oh, a beautiful crystal wine stopper. Wait, it goes where?"


The Sincerest Form of Flattery

You know what they say about imitation. However, “flattered” doesn’t completely describe the feeling you get when you see someone else selling a dead ringer for one of your creations.

thighmasters.jpg

On the left you see our Thigh Exerciser Sex Toy, which we posted in January 2008 (see our writeup on Gizmodo). On the right is the Uniram Sex Machine, which we just discovered the other day, but which seems to have come out sometime in mid-2009.

Granted, we can’t claim that our idea was wholly original. Others have combined exercise equipment and sex toys, such as this “Personal Exercise System” that we included in our feature on Sex Toy Patents.

exercise.jpgMaybe we should have filed a patent for our device, but we’re not in the business of producing toys for mass consumption. We’re here to show you how to make your own and save money.

So go get yourself a ThighMaster off of eBay, a $10 vibrator, and some random nuts and bolts, and check our how-to. There - you just saved $150. You’re welcome.

10 Funniest YouTube Sex Toy Videos

sextoyTV.jpg

You'll find a lot of sex-toy-related videos on YouTube. Some are instructional. Some are dirty. Many are sales pitches. You can also find some good DIY tutorials for homemade projects. But just for fun, we've rounded up some of the more entertaining ones for your viewing pleasure.

1. Sex Toy Story

A slick parody of the Pixar blockbuster.

2. The Dildo Song

A classic. You'll have this ditty stuck in your head for days.

3. "It's a Dildo" - The Office UK

Ummm...awk-ward.

4. Granny Finds a Dildo

Oh, these new-fangled inventions!

5. Boys Can Wait

A public service announcement from Technical Virgins.

6. Dildo on the News

Is that a dildo or the SWAT team's battering ram? Watch for it at 0:15.

7. Butt Plug Prank Call

The man has a simple request. Confusion and hilarity ensue.

8. White Water Rafting w/Blow Up Dolls

Not so much rafting as river crossing. You can barely hear the audio, but they're speaking Russian or something anyway.

9. The Factory: How a Dildo Is Made

Repurposed retro film footage used to make an educational short you never saw in grade school.

10. Pineapple-Shaped Dildo

There's no substitute for the real thing. 




Bubble Wrap Turns 50: Celebrate and Masturbate

sponge7.jpg

Bubble wrap, one of the niftiest inventions ever, turned 50 years old this week. Besides cushioning billions of dollars worth of breakables in its long career, and providing endless hours of bubble-popping fun to millions, bubble wrap happens to be a great material for DIY sex toys. Its availability, texture, and ease of use make it easy to incorporate into many projects. We've previously shown how to make a basic bubble wrap masturbation sleeve as well as evaluated bubble wrap as a sound insulator to silence vibrators.

To celebrate bubble wrap's birthday, we present a new bubble wrap creation, based on a suggestion from one of our readers in the UK. He suggested taking our original "Sponge Off" masturbator design, and enhancing it with bubble wrap to make a bumpy, textured inner sleeve.



The materials for this project are simple and cheap:

  • 1 liter plastic soda bottle
  • Two 3.5"x6" kitchen sponges
  • Piece of bubble wrap, about 1 x 2 feet
  • Packing tape (or other strong tape)
  • Scissors or utility knife

sponge1.jpg
1. Cut the neck and tapered top off the soda bottle, so you are left with a cylinder. Try to cut evenly, but don't worry about the edge itself being rough; it will be covered.

sponge2.jpg2. Moisten sponges and wring out. Lay them flat on the rolled out bubble wrap, leaving a space between them of about 2 inches. Leave a little extra bubble wrap exposed above the top of the sponges.

sponge3.jpg3. Fold the bubble wrap around the sponges and tuck the edge underneath.

sponge4.jpg4. Fold the sponges together and push the sponges and bubble wrap into the soda bottle. The end with the extra bubble wrap should be sticking out of the opening.

sponge5.jpg5. Press the sponges against the sides of the bottle and pull the excess bubble wrap down around the sides so the plastic edge is completely covered. Tape the bubble wrap in place around the outside of the bottle.

sponge6.jpgThat's it! To use, squirt in some water-based lube and go to it. The unit can be easily taken apart so the sponges can be washed and the bubble wrap replaced.

This is a great way to recycle clean, used bubble wrap. But if you have styrofoam packing peanuts, we have a project for those too. Just scroll down to the bottom of this page.


Tickle Me Roxxy

Thumbnail image for fembot.jpgIf you thought that the RealDoll was the ultimate in realistic sex toys, a New Jersey toy company just upped the ante. Last weekend at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas marked the debut of Roxxxy, "the world's first sex robot".

Before you get too excited, Roxxxy will not be giving you the robotic hand job you're fantasizing about. She doesn't move at all. Not even her mouth.

She does talk, though, and thanks to a computer program, can actually learn to converse about your favorite subjects, like football, World of Warcraft, and Family Guy. (But still, she doesn't move her mouth while she's talking, which just adds to the creepiness factor.) You can also customize her personality, with choices ranging from a mature MILF to a kinky sex kitten. And she has touch sensors so she can respond with appropriate vocalizations when you engage her in various acts.

So, basically what you have here is the equivalent of a Furby or Tickle Me Elmo for lonely, pervy guys. Seems a bit silly? Well, we're not here to judge.

If you'd like your own inanimate girlfriend (or boyfriend) but don't have $9,000 to shell out, check out our tutorial on how to make a DIY Sex Doll.

News: Scientists Say the G-Spot Is a Myth

g-spot.jpgBad news, ladies: That new G-spot vibrator you got? It was a waste of money, because according to new research, your G-spot doesn't exist. Or does it?

Researchers at King's College in London went on a quest for the elusive G-spot, and say they came up empty handed. Their conclusion: the G-spot is a figment of women's imagination - i.e., you have one if you think you do.

Wait, what? This is setting female sexuality back 50 years. Plenty of women who enjoy G-spot stimulation will assure you that they are not just making it up. There's a reason people make such a big deal about it. It's not like the G-spot was fabricated as a gimmick to sell sex manuals and specially designed toys. (Although, if the G-spot did turn out to be a hoax, that would take a big bite out of the marital aid market.)

There are more than a few problems with this study. First, the data collected was based on participants' self-reported experiences. It's odd that, in a study seeking a physiological basis for the G-spot, none of the women were even physically examined.

Second, it didn't take into account the type of sex the women were having. Well, it did, sort of. The study excluded lesbians and bisexual women - and those are the folks who are more likely than most to know where the G-spot is and how to work it. How many husbands know where their wives' G-spots are?

This question was settled a long time ago. There is a G-spot - the urethral sponge and the surrounding tissue. It's located between the front side of the vaginal wall and the pubic bone, near the bladder. There are a lot of nerves there, plus the glands that make women squirt during female ejaculation. Pressure on this area may produce the sensation of having to pee, and it will result in some mind-blowing orgasms. Of course, everyone's body is different, so your mileage may vary.

But don't take my word for it - or some lab jockeys'. Seek out the G and you shall find it. Happy G-spotting!

Household Pervertible: Makeup Brushes

makeupbrush.gifHere's a household toy you may have overlooked, especially if you're a guy: makeup brushes. Women know about them because they use them to put on cosmetics. Some have also discovered how to use them as sex toys. But this is a versatile accessory that works for male and female masturbation, as well as partner play.

You want one of those big fluffy, puffy ones with really soft bristles. Get a new, clean brush, don't just grab a used one from a makeup kit. The chemicals and fragrances in residual makeup powder could irritate your sensitive skin and tissues.

If you're using the handle as an insertible, make sure it's smooth plastic, not wood that's flaking off paint chips or something like that.

The great thing about makeup brushes is that you get two toys in one. The handle can be inserted in the ass or pussy and used as a mini dildo or plug. And the bristle end can be brushed or twirled against the clit, cock, nipples or other erotic areas.

When using a brush handle as an insertible, watch out for edges if there is a metal ferrule attaching the bristles. And exercise caution when inserting anally, especially if the brush handle is short. As with many other things, putting a condom over it is a good idea, both for clean up and safety reasons.

Some men like to masturbate by touching their dick with the makeup brush only, stroking the shaft and twirling the bristles around their balls and cock head. If you typically jerk off using a heavy stroke and lots of lube, a light, dry touch will give you a completely different experience.

The makeup brush is also a great toy for partner play. Blindfold your partner and use the brush to caress their skin and sensitive bits. Then drag the end of the handle over their skin to create a contrast. You can alternate using the brush with other types of sensation play, like ice or fur.

Add this accessory to your sex toy kit and start bristling with pleasure.


Sealed for Your Protection

sexdollseal.jpgI recently unwrapped a blow-up doll for a photo shoot and was surprised to find that both its vaginal and anal orifices were sealed "for hygienic and safety reasons" - sort of like the tamper-evident seal on a jar of mayo or a bottle of aspirin. Over said orifices, a plastic hymen awaited deflowering by the new owner. The enclosed directions warned against using sharp objects, such as scissors, knives, or needles to remove your sex doll's maidenhead. Instead you just tear it away like a pull tab.

We've often wondered if people actually use these inflatable dolls for anything other than bachelor parties and movie props. Apparently people do. And since there's been at least one incident of a burglar breaking into a sex toy store and using the love dolls, perhaps it's not such a bad idea.

Many of the sex toys we see come in some sort of sealed packaging - those impossible to open plastic packs, or a sealed plastic bag inside a box. But many of them are in packaging that's not sealed.

Since most sex toy retailers don't accept returns, it's highly unlikely that you'd receive a toy that has been used (how gross would that be?). But what if you get one that appears to have been opened? Check the retailer's policy. Some stores test vibrators before they ship them to assure they actually work. If that's something they do, it should be stated clearly on the company website. However, if the toy has been opened and it is not something that has an on/off switch, that's a red flag.

Another possibility is that the packaging was insecure and came open during shipping, or during handling in the retailer's warehouse. Considering the intimate nature of sex toys and where you put them, you would think that manufacturers would make sealed packaging the norm. Even if a toy's not "used" if it's been dropped on the floor or tossed around by warehouse workers, that's not very hygienic.

Of course, you should always wash your toys well before using them, to get rid of any chemical residue. If you really suspect there's a problem and you don't want to use the toy, talk to the retailer and see if you can exchange the product.